Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  “We would never request to meet with a human,” the one on the left said through gritted teeth.

  “Great, then I’ll be leaving. I have things to do and if this was a waste of time, so be it.” Vince stood up and pushed his chair in.

  “Wait,” said the Elf in the corner. His voice was soft but firm. “My name is Caern. My apologies, please forgive these three.”

  Caern was younger than the other three, had been dressed in simpler attire, and had hung in the back so far.

  Vince didn’t stop, and picked up his messenger bag and picked up the folder Elysia had prepared for him.

  “Please. We did request your presence and we’ve come in good faith. I apologize for them, again.”

  Vince stopped, looking at the young Elf with a flat stare.

  “Sit, please. This was an error. The politicking of old Elves who don’t understand the world.” Caern stood between two of the older Elves now, his hands gesturing to the chair Vince had left.

  Clicking his tongue Vince considered leaving. He didn’t have any desire to be here, and this really was a reasonable excuse that would get him out of here in a hurry.

  “You three, leave. Now,” Caern said, gesturing to the three sitting at the table.

  “Now se—”

  “I d—”

  “Leave, or I’ll kill you and hand your heads over to the King of Yosemite as a gift,” hissed Caern.

  At that, the other three got up and angrily left, their eyes promising death and pain to the young Elf.

  Vince wasn’t completely convinced this wasn’t all for his benefit. He’d seen similar negotiation tactics in the past. Where one person took on the role of the villain and the other the hero. One would be more inclined to work with the hero with a positive attitude and trust.

  Narrowing his eyes, Vince pulled out his chair and sat back down.

  Saying nothing, he was determined to let his opponent show their hand first.

  Behind him, he heard the creak of Eva’s leather armor, and Thera’s chainmail hauberk rustling.

  They were preparing themselves to launch an attack at any second.

  “Your compatriots seem high strung,” Caern said, taking the vacated center seat.

  “Be thankful I didn’t bring my Troll. She takes offense to those who are rude to me. We almost fed your messengers to her on our first meeting when they attacked me.

  “And to be honest, so far, I’m not impressed and see no reason to deal or treat with you and your kind. You’ve been as bad as… well… humans.”

  Vince smirked at Caern. He hoped the man was insulted.

  Caern’s eyes scrunched for a microsecond, his mouth flattening to a line, his nostrils flaring. Mastering himself, the Elf held up a hand. “It is as you say, I’m afraid. We’ve been terrible neighbors.

  “I’d like to fix that. First, I’d like to invite you to Verix, the city itself. As a guest of honor.

  “Second, I believe we can begin with a simple non-aggression pact between Verix and Yosemite. This would only be until we can negotiate a trade agreement.”

  Vince controlled himself as best as he could. Going to their city wasn’t in his plans, but the other half of his statement was welcome news.

  “Though I must confess, we’re under a bit of a crisis.”

  Ah, here it is. Always a catch.

  “But this is neither the time or place to discuss that. Would you be willing to accept a non-aggression treaty and the invitation?”

  “No,” Vince said bluntly. “I’ve no reason to trust you, or put myself in your city, as your ‘guest’ and at your mercy.”

  “I … see. Ah, would you be willing to do so under a life-oath from myself and the others here?”

  “Nope. That’s great for your own word, but it holds no one underneath you responsible. Pass. I’m saddened for this conference to end here, but unless you can offer me some type of iron-clad guarantee on my safety, I wouldn’t be willing to walk into the proverbial lion’s den.” Vince shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t stupid or foolish.

  He trusted no one until they earned it.

  Caern’s face was a mask of neutrality at the moment. He was doing a much better job of masking his emotions right now than earlier.

  Though his fingers were pressed tight to the table between them.

  “If it helps bridge the gap, I’d be willing to travel to the outskirts of the city, but I don’t plan on entering it under any reason. It doesn’t do to turn oneself into a ready-made hostage,” Vince said.

  “And if our entire ruling council offered guest-rights on top of that life-oath?”

  Elysia had told him they’d get to that point eventually. At that point, they’d be putting themselves on a magical debt level that would annihilate the entire city’s population if they broke it.

  It wasn’t something they would offer unless he put them in an untenable situation. Where he refused every possibility up to that point.

  “I’d accept at that point, though I’d want the guest rights, and oath, before entering the city. My retainers,” Vince said and motioned over his shoulder to the three ladies behind him, “can act as contractors for the magical side. They’ve all been thoroughly schooled in the matter.”

  Caern peered at Vince intently, before giving him a wide predator's grin. “You were waiting for the guest rights.”

  Saying nothing, Vince stood back up and collected his possessions. “We’ll be traveling to Verix and will announce ourselves when we arrive. I would hope the oath and rights can be established within a few hours of that point. Good day.”

  Turning on his heel, Vince left and set off to the northwest, in the opposite direction of where his scouts were hiding.

  Ass-hats.

  Chapter 4

  They’d been escorted into the city when they arrived a few days later. Only after the entire council had sworn a life-oath for his safety and offered him guest rights, of course.

  Thera and Eva had both confirmed for him independently that everything was exactly as everyone had stated. If any harm befell Vince or his team, the city would pay dearly as their magic spilled out and took their lives.

  Guest rights when sworn with a life-oath and bound with magic were not something to toy with.

  After that, they’d been swept through a quick evening meal, dropped in their room, and told that tomorrow morning their first trade meeting would begin.

  Vince was now locked in a room with two beds and three women.

  Gert, Set, and Ris were all scouting the surrounding areas. It wasn’t much, but information gathering could prove useful if a situation arose. That and he really didn’t have anything else for them to do.

  Better to keep hands busy than idle. And speaking of idle.

  Vince stood up from the chair he was in, his hands moving to check the weapons on his person.

  After confirming everything was as it should be, he looked up to the three women who were eying him expectantly.

  “I’m going to go sneak around and spy on our hosts. Seems as good a time as any. They can’t really hurt me either,” Vince explained. “Honestly, maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I feel as if they’re keeping something from us that they don’t want us to know yet.”

  Karya yawned behind her hand and then waved it at him. “Do what you feel is best. I’m going to turn in for the night. A comfy bed sounds delightful right now.”

  Without another word, the Dryad shucked off her clothes, and crawled under the covers without a scrap of clothing on.

  “So soft,” murmured the Dryad, closing her eyes and rolling over to one side.

  Eva was studying Vince, her nose wrinkling. “I don’t like it, Master. I dislike this city on top of that. It isn’t easy to hide here or blend in with the shadows here. It…”

  “Isn’t a forest,” Vince said with a smile. “I know. Urban stealth is a bit different.”

  “Which is why I’ll be going with you, lord. I’m quite at home in the city and feel I can
keep up with you easily,” Thera said, unbuckling her sword and putting it on a bedside table.

  Strapping on her hunting knife she began double-checking her gear to make sure everything was secured.

  “Thera, I really—”

  “Lord, you’ll not argue in this,” said the Dark Elf with steel in her voice. She pinned him with her eyes for a split second.

  “Alright, fine.” Vince reached up and ran a hand through his hair. It simply wasn’t a smart idea to argue. They’d do what they wanted regardless of his wishes if they felt they were in the right.

  “Thank you, Master. I appreciate you not fighting us on this. It’s best for everyone, especially for your own safety,” Eva chimed in, sitting down on the empty second bed. “I’ll remain here. They could harm us without causing actual ‘harm’.”

  That makes a lot of sense, actually.

  “Good thinking. Thanks, Eva. You’re a blessing. Really appreciate ya,” Vince said sincerely, giving her a smile.

  Eva said nothing, returning the smile thinly.

  Thera grabbed him by the elbow and led him to the door, her eyes telling him to say nothing more and to follow instructions.

  Unfastening the door latch, she opened the door quietly and poked her head out the doorway.

  She looked to the left, then the right. After a second she stepped out into the hallway.

  With a slight turn of her head, she gave him a crooked smile and held out her hand to him.

  “The night is young, lord. Come, let’s go play in the dark.”

  Vince let out a snort and decided to play along. He placed his hand in hers and he closed the door behind himself.

  “Lead on. I’ll obediently follow.”

  Vince would describe the city as if it were any other. It really didn’t differ too much from what he’d seen of human settlements.

  The High Elves seemed to have a preference for worked stone. If he had to be honest though, he’d bet it wasn’t worked at all, but magically summoned and crafted.

  Their roads, houses, decorative pieces were all in stone.

  Metal didn’t have a place here, nor did wood, as far as he could tell.

  Winding streets that led down homes and businesses, plazas that had the look of being open markets, back alleys where trash collected. There were even homeless Elves back in there.

  For all the love of claiming vast differences, from both sides, humanity and Elven kind were much more similar than either race would probably believe.

  Or wanted to believe.

  Vince and Thera had stolen two coal colored cloaks and did their best High Elf impersonation while keeping themselves to the shadows and dark places.

  They were working their way towards a dark corner of the city. A part of it that was near the exterior wall, but also had an interior wall. It’d provoked his interest and curiosity in equal measure.

  To his mind, it was more something that you would do to keep something in, rather than out.

  Thera’s hand brushed against his wrist as she hovered close to his side. Her hearing and eyesight were slightly better than his own enhanced senses.

  He trusted her implicitly and waited for whatever signal she’d give.

  As quickly as she’d tensed up, she relaxed. Moving forward at a slow walk, Thera kept them on a straight line for what they assumed would be the entry point.

  They couldn’t be sure as they’d already tried several other streets and found nothing but a dead end and a wall.

  If they encountered another one, Vince planned on climbing up the wall itself to get inside.

  Trespassing be damned, my curiosity won’t let this one lie.

  Thera spun on her heel, pushing him up into a darkened corner. She’d stuffed him up under a windowsill at the front of the home they’d been passing by.

  The Dark Elf was an inch from his face, her black eyes staring into his.

  “Guards,” she hissed, her warm breath washing over his mouth and neck.

  Vince swallowed, moving his head back from her. Only to find he couldn’t. They were quite literally pressed up into the corner as far as they could go.

  “—ot a hold of her and then had to send her back.” The voice was high pitched, and heading in their direction.

  “Oh? Didn’t get a chance, did you?” said a second voice, deeper than the first.

  “No. Hustled her off right quick. As rare a chance as it was, and it slipped through my fingers.”

  Two Elves moved into view and stopped just beyond a decorative fountain that was set into the walkway.

  Neither carried a torch, but he doubted either had need of it.

  Vince couldn’t make out their conversation any further though, as the burbling of the fountain drowned it out.

  Thera’s hands were pushed into his arms, pinning him to the wall, her chest smashed into his. Even her legs were wedged up against his own.

  It’s like something out of a bad romance novel.

  He couldn’t help it, and his lips curled upward in a grin at the thought.

  Thera noticed, her black eyes darting to his mouth and then back to him. She lifted one dark eyebrow at him, a ghost of a smile gracing her generous lips.

  Fuck it.

  Taking the offensive for once, since almost every interaction with a woman was initiated by them, Vince leaned in and kissed the Dark Elf warrior.

  Thera’s fingers dug into his arms, her entire body going rigid at the touch of his lips to hers.

  He couldn’t pull away from her, and he didn’t want to push her back and possibly give them away, so he simply remained where he was.

  She could break the kiss whenever she wanted.

  It slowly became something more as Thera moved her head to the side, and forward. The back of his head pressed up to the stone however and could go no further.

  Her lips pressed to his, she began to kiss him in earnest. Her nose tickled his cheek as she seemingly tried to wedge her entire body into his own.

  Soft, panting breaths came from her, threatening to give their location away.

  The kiss became a hungry eager thing all on its own.

  It wasn’t until the soft click of boots echoed from the street that Thera moved her head back.

  As if the realization of what happened came with that separation, she took two quick steps away from him.

  The Dark Elf stared at him, her eyes slightly glassy and annoyed.

  She fluffed her cloak and wrapped herself in it, her breathing deep and hard.

  “I won’t apologize. Because I’m not sorry for that. It was a chance that doesn’t come around except in fairy tales, so I took it,” Vince said, giving himself a small shake. “Now, shall we see if this is the street we wanted after all?”

  Thera eyed him, considering his question. She didn’t seem angry, more annoyed and flustered than anything.

  Eventually she released her cloak, the material falling back into place. Her hands were pressed to her stomach, her fingers clutched into the fabric.

  “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why me?”

  Vince chewed at his lip for a second and then answered her honestly.

  “Because you’re beautiful? Strong? Intelligent? Fascinating? You three constantly remind me that you’re pledged to me and I swore up and down I’d never touch any of you. But I find my endurance spent, my promise a curse, and my will long since passed.

  “So… I kissed you. Because I wanted to.”

  Thera’s lips twitched, then she did a ninety degree turn and headed off down the street towards their hoped for entrance.

  Vince took a few quick steps to catch up with her. He spared a second to look back the way the guards had gone. Those two were still moving down the lane without a backward glance.

  Odd. They weren’t really watching for anything.

  Crime was practically non-existent in Yosemite, but they still had patrols that walked the streets. Each fighting company would have a few squads walking the
city every night.

  Even the most lax of his people wouldn’t have been that inattentive.

  To Vince, things weren’t adding up.

  “Damn,” hissed Thera, getting his attention.

  Up ahead of them were several guards around a massive gate. It looked like something you’d put on the front entrance of an outer wall rather than an interior one.

  The strange part was the guards were on the outside, but their attention was inward.

  “Stranger and stranger. I want to get in there. You with me?” Vince asked, moving off the street and into a back alley. He’d seen what he wanted to see. Now he just wanted to get inside.

  “Ever so, Lord.” The Dark Elf ghosted into his side.

  “You say that now, but in three hundred years when I’m still among the living and you’re starting to tire of the world, will it be the same?” Vince asked jokingly.

  Turning his eyes towards the buildings around them, he started to plot a course upwards. The only way in would be to scale the walls. Using the houses and stores seemed like the best way to see how that could be done.

  “Beg your pardon, three hundred?”

  “Just a guess really. The Dryads keep dancing around it but I get the impression I’m going to live as long as their grove does. Which as far as I can tell,” Vince paused, putting the toes of his boot into a crack in a wall, “means I’ll live as long as the trees live. Those trees can’t leave behind seeds, but can regrow themselves all over again, because of the grove.”

  Coiling himself he prepared to leap upwards, using the crack as a leverage point to get to the window ledge above. “So, if I don’t miss my guess, I’ll still be alive long after your Elven bones have turned to powder.”

  Launching himself off the ground, Vince kicked off the crack a second later. Grabbing hold of the ledge he powered upwards, keeping himself moving.

  His fingers locked onto the edge of the roof and he dug the front of his boots into whatever he could.

  “Jump up, grab on, climb up me,” Vince hissed down at Thera.

  The Dark Elf wasted no time and he felt her hands clench around his ankles. Bracing himself he held to the wall while Thera climbed up him.