Wild Wastes Omnibus

by Randi Darren

  Vince made a mental note to thank Elysia for her paranoid preparations.

  The number of troops holding here should be enough to at least grind the enemy to a halt and force them into an unfavorable position.

  On top of that, the regular army should be here by tomorrow. Those numbers would make it so the enemy couldn’t simply try to steamroll them with might.

  Or so Vince thought. He wasn’t the planner here. Petra was. Petra and Thera, amusingly enough.

  “Red has found Petra—this way. And Bringer is not half as clever as he thinks he is. All know Red and Leila, all know you are always nearby.

  “The helmet just makes Bringer seem silly,” Red said, moving ahead at a light jog.

  Vince pulled the helmet off his head wordlessly and tossed it towards an equipment pile.

  Red wasn’t wrong, of course. He really had been silly about the whole thing. It wasn’t as if people didn’t know his companions.

  It isn’t as if Red, Ramona, and Leila aren’t recognizable by more or less everyone.

  Red passed through the guards around Petra’s command tent with only a glance.

  Vince followed behind, stepping inside.

  Petra stood alone over a table, looking over a map with wooden tokens on it.

  Her antennae twitched and then swung towards Vince. A second later, her head turned to face him.

  “This one greets her husband but must send him away immediately.

  “This one has received several missives. Duke Gerard engaged a second Tri-lliance army on his way south,” Petra said.

  She looked back to the table, fished around in a stack of papers, and pulled one out.

  Moving over to Vince, she held it out to him.

  “These are the exact details he sent. It seems it’s the same size as the army we face down here.

  “This one worries the duke will not be able to hold out by himself. Being your general, this one asks you to go assist, as your talents are unique,” Petra said with a small smile.

  “In addition, the queen of the Snow Elves is willing to meet and discuss becoming a duchy. She has requested to speak with you personally.

  “This one believes she will insert herself as another wife into your harem. As your general, this one is instructing her husband to bed her immediately and impregnate her,” Petra said, prodding him in the chest with a finger. “Yosemite needs their magic.

  “At the same time, the Orc warlord of Texas has decided they will meet you as well. This one believes that will be much easier, and they will only ask for you to make them warchief of an army.”

  Vince took all that in.

  It made sense, of course. Both what their potential allies wanted and what Petra wanted of him.

  “A second army?” Vince asked, looking at the note from Duke Gerard.

  “Yes. This one suspects it is equal to the one we face here.

  “You should also consider rewarding the duke of Denver for his swift thinking in placing his forces in front of that enemy army.

  “His losses were probably not light, all for the sake of stopping them there. Otherwise, it’s likely their target was Yosemite itself,” Petra said.

  “Well… suppose that definitely shows Gerard is trustworthy. He could have easily let them pass and retreated back to Denver,” Vince mused, holding the note but not reading it.

  “This one agrees. Go, husband. A general’s meeting will occur shortly, and you need to take your Gryphon and go.”

  Petra leaned in close to him and kissed him tenderly, her hand coming up to touch his face.

  “Be safe. This one… I do not wish to bury you. My life will be short as it is—the idea of living it without you is… terrifying.”

  ***

  Vince looked down over the side of his mount.

  Below, he could see a large tent in the middle of a field, several miles north of the location of the previous battle.

  Gerard and the enemy general were staring across it at each other. The only bodies left on the field were those chopped to bits and mangled forms of Undead that hadn’t survived.

  The enemy dead was of course missing—more than likely fresh troops for Gerard.

  Around the tent below, in three directions, were three different small camps.

  Even at a glance, Vince could identify each one. One had the colors of Yosemite, with the banner of the duke of Denver.

  Another the Snow Elves in the north.

  The last was the Orcs of Texas.

  Vince chuckled to himself and pulled to the side. The Gryphon responded to the command and dove towards the ground at a steep incline.

  Mouth shrieked behind him, pressing herself up tightly to Vince’s back.

  Before they could crash into the ground, the Gryphon pulled itself out of the dive with powerful flaps of its physics-damning wings.

  Landing gently with only a bare hint of a bump, Vince grinned. Stroking the Gryphon on the head, he leaned over it.

  “I’ll give you a rabbit for that later. That was well done,” Vince said, soothing into where he believed its ear was.

  “You’re an ass, dear,” Mouth said, thumping him on the back with her fist. “I’m not going to give you the normal treatment tonight. You can earn it back or do without.”

  “Sorry, my pretty Dryad. I’m sure I can earn it back,” Vince said. Getting off his mount, he held his arms open to Mouth. “Come. I’ll give you a backrub later and you can tell me how you’d like to be shamed tonight.”

  “Truly?” Mouth asked, peering down at him. She folded her arms under her breasts, forcing them up and further into view.

  Even though Vince slept with Mouth several times a week, and at least provided a meal through her to Red once a day, he still couldn’t resist her charms. His skin prickled and he could feel his body immediately responding to her temptations.

  “Truly. Come. Let me wrap my arms around you and steal a kiss or two before the others arrive.”

  Mouth smiled at him, then lightly hopped off the mount and into Vince’s arms.

  “As to being shamed,” Mouth said, holding to Vince and pressing her face to his neck. “Maybe make me watch if you have to bring the Snow Elf into the harem? It’s been a while since you made me do that with the others.”

  Ramona landed with a soft thump next to them. She eyed Vince with an eyebrow raised.

  “I’m going to tear your head off tonight and stuff it up your ass,” she growled out.

  Leila disconnected herself from the harness that had strapped her to Ramona’s back, then landed on a disc of air.

  Yaris had remained with Petra since she didn’t have much to add here.

  Oh? Is the Dragon actually jealous? Maybe… maybe that reptilian little monster is feeling a touch hoard-like?

  Kissing Mouth once, Vince patted her on the shoulder and went over to Ramona.

  She stood up straight to her full height as he came close. She lifted her chin, looking down at him. Her eyes glittered in a way he recognized.

  It was the same way she eyed him when she was just about to attack him and try to kill him before they went into rough sex.

  Reaching up, he grabbed her gently by a horn and guided her head down. He did it with no strength, giving her the opportunity to resist.

  And yet she did not.

  Using both hands, he began to lightly caress the skin at the base of her horns.

  “Be calm, my Dragoness. You are their equal in every way. There’s no reason to be this way,” Vince said soothingly.

  Ramona frowned at him, her slitted eyes focusing on him.

  “Truly. You’re their equal. Equal to Berenga, Yaris, Meliae, everyone. If you want to spar and have a romp afterward, I’m all for it. But don’t go into it with anger. There’s no need for jealousy,” Vince crooned, his thumbs pressing to the base of her horns as his fingers stroked her skin.

  Ramona’s mouth twitched and then she nodded her head, lowering it further to him.

  “Will you rub my h
orns more? Tonight as well? That feels really good,” she said.

  “Of course I will, my Dragoness. You needed only ask. Now. I’m sure we’ll have our guests arriving soon. Do you feel a bit better now?”

  “Yes… dear. I do. I’m sorry, my Dragon is possessive,” Ramona said, her hands coming out to rest on his hips. “And I would like to spar later, then make love.”

  “Of course. Let’s see what the Snow Elf wants to do, and then maybe we can do that and make Mouth watch. I’ll let you tie her up and everything.”

  “Ok,” Ramona said, unmoving as he continued to rub her horns.

  “Red sees the old one coming. As well as an Elf and an Orc from different directions,” said the Beastkin.

  “Y-yes. The Elf is a mage as well. She is… very powerful. More so than Elysia is, if you haven’t charged her for a while,” Leila added.

  “Oh? That’s good news. We need more mages. If they’re powerful on top of that, that’s better,” Vince said, still working Ramona’s horns and the area around them.

  “Nnnnnnn,” Ramona moaned, her wings shuddering on her back.

  “That’s it for now, my Dragoness. We can continue later,” Vince said, patting her on the brow.

  Turning to face the direction the duke would be approaching from, Vince straightened his armor and clothes.

  Even though he’d been wearing it for years, he still wasn’t used to the brigandine armor. He missed his leathers.

  Deciding to give the duke some added respect, Vince started to walk towards Gerard.

  The older man looked much better than he had when they’d first met in Vegas.

  Denver had done wonders for the Necromancer.

  He still looked ancient, but no longer did he look brittle.

  Around the older man, several Orcs, two Elf mages, and a group of Dryads rounded out his honor guard. It was a formidable force and could adapt to anything that happened

  As he saw Vince heading his way, the grin that spread over Gerard’s face was unmistakable.

  Meeting the older man halfway between, Vince held out his hand to the duke.

  “Well met, Duke Gerard,” he said.

  “And you as well, my lord Vince. I have to say, I was quite pleased to hear from the general that you were on your way up here,” the older man said in his raspy voice.

  “There was no way I could leave you up here by yourself, Duke. Walk with me. I know I saw you a month ago, but how are you? Anything new?” Vince said, turning back towards the meeting point.

  “Not really. I did manage to convince those two Necromancers to swear into my service. I’d like to put one in Yosemite itself. I think they could be useful, and would help to change opinion of my kind,” Gerard said.

  Vince nodded at that. Having a Necromancer on site could indeed be useful. He’d spoken with Leila at length at what a Necromancer could do without converting someone to the Undead.

  The list had been long.

  “I think that’d be agreeable. I’ll speak with Elysia after this and we can get moving on that.”

  Gerard nodded slowly.

  “I take it the general told you about the Snow Elves?”

  “Yes. Sounds like I’ll be picking up another wife.”

  “She’s young and attractive at least. I do miss the joys of the flesh. My old bones just wouldn’t take it though, I’m afraid,” Gerard said a bit wistfully.

  Vince couldn’t help but agree. The idea of not being able to have sex sounded… depressing.

  As they neared the meeting ground, Vince could see a singular Elf and an Orc.

  The Elf interested him.

  She was as short as Eva, though her hair was white and her skin almost as pale.

  Her eyes were dark, though. Dark to the point of looking black in color.

  She had the strange ethereal beauty that almost all Elves had. Slightly alien features with high cheekbones.

  She wore furs and leathers, and looked quite a bit more feral than his “house” Elves.

  Next to her was a young Orc. He was broad. Very broad. Looking much like the rest of his species, but bigger. With black hair and standard green skin.

  Dressed in a steel breastplate and chain mail, he looked much more like a human foot soldier.

  Smart enough to adapt to the times, at least. Most Orcs won’t wear armor unless you tell them to.

  Vince came to a stop in front of the two Wasters.

  “I’m Vince. Lord of Yosemite. This is Duke Gerard of Denver. I’ve come to negotiate bringing your people into Yosemite and helping to secure all the surrounding territories and populations around you,” Vince said.

  “Ha!” the Orc said loudly, banging a fist to his chest. “I like you! Straight to it. No politics, nothing stupid.”

  Duke Gerard chuckled, leaning on his staff.

  “It’s one of the best qualities of my lord. He only measures people by what they can do—nothing about who or what they are,” said the old man. “Necromancer or otherwise.”

  The Orc grinned at that, his bright tusks visible.

  “I, Berten, greet the lord of Yosemite,” said the Orc.

  “Berten?” Vince asked, curious now.

  “Yes, Berten. I’m the warchief of what you humans call Texas. I have a large tribe. My Fes has arranged six wives for me, and I have slain all challengers,” said Berten proudly. “Have you heard of me?”

  Vince grinned, wondering if things would be even easier than he thought.

  “I might have. Would you happen to be from an Orc tribe in the west? Left maybe… five or six years ago?”

  Berten frowned.

  “Yes. I did,” he said, his attitude changing rapidly. “I… was not old or experienced enough to challenge for my family’s tribe.”

  It really is. Maybe Berenga will give me a present for this one.

  “Then I bring you greetings from your sister, Berenga—my Fes—your mother Berest, and your grandfather Bermeen.

  “Oh, and a niece you haven’t met yet. Berest, my daughter,” Vince said, then held out a hand to the Orc. “Brother in law.”

  Berten stared at Vince unblinkingly, then started laughing. “I have a niece? You made Berenga Fes of Yosemite?”

  Berten charged forward and snapped up Vince in a very manly and big hug.

  Lifting Vince off the ground, Berten swung him back and forth as if he were a child.

  “That is the best news I’ve ever heard! What about the rest of my tribe?” Berten said, putting Vince down. He laid his big hands on Vince’s shoulders, leaning in close.

  He looked eager.

  Homesick.

  “I took care of those two idiots personally, if that’s what you’re asking, and took the entire gathering to Yosemite. All of them,” Vince said.

  Berten leaned his head back and barked a laugh from the bottom of his soul, it looked like.

  “Oh, this is too rich. Where is Berenga? And my niece, you said you named her for mother? Wait till my own children meet their aunt and cousin.” Berten said, his mind clearly wandering in his rambling speech.

  “She’s with my general in the south, fighting a Tri-lliance army. Berest is with your mother back in Yosemite.

  “I take it you’re willing to swear to me as the duke of Texas then, and—”

  “Of course!” Berten shouted, interrupting Vince. “That’s not even a question anymore. How could I not serve my brother? It’s like serving my own tribe! Ah, such a good day. I’ll head back and get my people moving.”

  Berten turned and nodded his head to Gerard. “We’ll be coming in from your south to support you, Duke.”

  Laughing once more, Berten slapped his hand on Vince’s shoulder and strutted away. Looking even larger than he had previously.

  The Snow Elf sighed with a strange smile.

  “I imagine he’ll be the first to take any order you give him and complete it,” said the Elf. Her voice was in the higher range, but still clearly Elven. “Finding out his brother-in-law is the lord
of Yosemite and his sister the Fes? His own honor was just greatly expanded upon. It wouldn’t be a dishonor to anyone for him to serve you.”

  Vince looked to the Elf. She seemed odd to him. Somewhere between Thera and Elysia, but simply more… well… cold.

  “I, on the other hand, have my own requirements to serve you. I would discuss them with you in private, however. I’ll be inside. And bring the Dryads,” the Elf said, pointing to the tent, then walked into it without another word.

  “Red doesn’t like her,” Red said, snorting. “She reeks of confidence. Yaris is a better Elf queen. She listens to people and will change her mind.”

  “Suppose we’ll find out,” Vince said. “Excuse me.”

  Walking into the tent behind the Elf, Vince wasn’t sure what to expect.

  Chapter 7

  Vince looked around and found the tent to be rather simple. Several tables, chairs, a desk, and a bookshelf.

  The ground was short-cut grass and little else.

  “I wanted to discuss your wives, your children, and your expectations of both,” said the Elf. She’d already gone ahead and sat herself down at the table after removing her fur jacket.

  Vince came over to her and sat down next to her, rather than across from her. He’d take whatever he could to put her off her game, since it seemed she had an agenda and a method for this meeting.

  “Alright. We can start there if you like,” Vince said.

  Behind him, Gerard’s Dryad guards and Mouth entered, then fanned out around the tent.

  The guards had all been trained in martial combat and were not any less than their soldier counterparts. Whether they looked like sex objects or not, they were lethal.

  “Your wives—what requirements do you have of them?”

  “They all have jobs and duties specific to them. They all reside with me at Yosemite. That’s about it,” Vince said.

  The Elf tilted her head to the side, watching him.

  “That’s it? No requirements on how many children they provide for you? How often they frequent your bed?” she asked.

  “No. Not at all. And before we go further, could you perhaps give me your name? I’d hate to address you as you,” Vince replied evenly.

  “Caroline,” said the Elf with a smile. “So… no real requirements at all. What of your dukes and duchesses?”