The Sidelined Wife

by Jennifer Peel

  I rested my head on Ma’s shoulder.

  “I love you, Samantha Marie.”

  “You’re a good girl.” Mimsy patted my butt. That wasn’t awkward at all.

  For a split second, I thought we were going to leave it at this beautiful moment, but I should have known better.

  Ma kissed my cheek. “Just make sure to keep your NDAs to yourself. You can win a man’s heart through his stomach, not his manhood.” That was something that should never be embroidered on a pillow or said again.

  “Okay, Ma. Okay.” What else could I say after that?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dinner wasn’t quite as embarrassing, but it did prove interesting. It didn’t help that Reed sat next to me again. In some ways, it felt less lonely having Neil’s seat taken, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about Reed filling it. Though he did talk a lot more than Neil had the past several years. Neil could frequently be found reading an article on his phone. A few times he had the gall to bring a book. Yep. He would pull it out once he was done eating. Reed, on the other hand, stayed engaged in all the table conversation. Including the one Delanie started.

  “You really should think about expanding your reach as the Sidelined Wife.”

  It may have been the first time Delanie said anything out of the blue at the table. I think I was right, judging by the hush that fell over the table. If you could get the Decker clan to be quiet, that was saying something.

  I turned from Reed, who had just been asking me for suggestions on where he could buy some window coverings for the little place he rented near the school, to face the gorgeous redhead a couple seats down from me. I swore she was wearing a bigger diamond nose ring than usual to irk Ma. And yeah, it was working, judging by the tsking noises Ma was making to my right.

  “I’m not sure what you mean.” I gave Delanie my full attention.

  She smirked at Ma, like she was taking a stand, before she focused back on me. “For starters, you could rebrand your blog by changing the name to the Sidelined Wife. And you should set up a page under the same moniker on Facebook. I would also do Instagram and Twitter. I could even help with the cover concepts and your profile pictures. I have a friend who’s a great photographer. And,” she looked at Avery, “maybe you could help execute the cover designs.”

  Avery’s face lit up. “I would love to.”

  This was the cue for some of those with a Y chromosome to flee the table. My dad invited his grandsons to join him in the backyard to toss the football around. I guess his sons and Reed were on their own. They didn’t seem bothered by the topic because they all decided to stay. Ma wasn’t thrilled; she waved her hands and said something about sex talk and NDAs while she cleared her plate and some of the serving dishes in front of her. That’s when Reed acted the part of gentleman and helped Ma clear the table. Peter followed suit, but James stayed put. He was a good man, but he lacked being domestically helpful unless asked. Unless it had to do with lawn care or handyman stuff. He’d rather replace a garbage disposal than do the dishes. My dear grandmother, Mimsy, reached for some water like she was going to sprinkle some on me just in case, but Peter swiped the glass from her before she could. She walked out rubbing her rosary beads and muttering about the good old days when women knew their place.

  With most everyone cleared out, Delanie scooted closer to me, and Avery leaned in, excited.

  “I don’t know. I’m sure this will all blow over soon,” I said.

  “I don’t think so.” Avery’s blue eyes danced. “Did you see that Autumn Moone already linked your new post to her site? And she commented on how hilarious you are.”

  I hadn’t seen that yet. “I messaged her through her contact page to thank her, but I haven’t heard back from her.”

  “With a new book coming out, she’s probably busy with edits. Or maybe her assistants haven’t gone through the messages like they’re supposed to.” Delanie smiled with unease.

  Avery and I both gave Delanie blank stares. Her engaging us in conversation was different all on its own, but the way she sounded so knowledgeable really threw me off.

  Delanie swiped at some leftover crumbs on the table. “I mean, I’m guessing. I know how it is to be under a deadline.”

  “Well, maybe she doesn’t think it’s really me, or maybe she doesn’t want to be bothered by mere mortals.”

  Avery and Delanie laughed.

  James was tuned into his smartphone.

  Avery batted at his phone. “Put that thing away and engage with real people.”

  James shoved his phone in his pocket with a grin. “So, what did I miss? What dresses you’re all wearing to prom and what color you’re going to paint your nails?”

  I rolled my eyes at my big brother while Avery nudged him. “Very funny. Why don’t you go help your Ma with the dishes like Peter and Reed, or go play with our sons.”

  He stood up. “I’m not wanted; I get it.” He leaned down and kissed Avery on the head. She smacked his butt in return. James wagged his eyebrows. “Smack me like that again, honey, and I’ll be hauling you up to my old room.”

  Avery didn’t even blush anymore when James made comments like that. “Behave.”

  He gave her a wink and strode off.

  Pangs of jealousy pricked my heart. I focused on Delanie, who wore a look like she understood how I was feeling. Her warm brown eyes spoke of an old soul. Much older than her twenty-eight years. Did I mention how gorgeous this girl was, with the perfect waterfall-curled red hair and creamy skin with freckles that looked strategically placed? Not a wrinkle or laugh line in sight.

  Delanie rested her soft, feminine hand over mine on the table. “I know you feel like you’re in unknown territory now. We’ve all been there. But your voice is helping women face the uncertainty, no matter what the circumstances are. You have the power to do a lot of good. Let us help you help others. And maybe we’ll help ourselves in the process.”

  I felt like she wanted to tell us something. Was she facing uncertainty? Did she need help? I opened my mouth to speak, but Delanie removed her hand and gave a smart aleck grin.

  “Besides, you’re funny as hell. And,” she lowered her voice, “it’s nice to have your mom focus on something else she hates besides me.”

  I was going to have to help change that. Along with a lot of other things in my life. Maybe it was time to embrace the Sidelined Wife.

  ~*~

  I did all the “mom” things before I went to bed that night. Cody started his sophomore year on Tuesday, and I wanted to get back into a good Sunday night routine. I wanted to purposely do things, not only get by. I whipped up batches of quick oats and placed them in the refrigerator for breakfast throughout the week. I even made sure he had balanced, protein-packed lunch and snack items he could easily grab each morning, so he would be properly fueled for practice. Cody wasn’t happy about it, but I made him clean up his room and actually fold and hang up his clothes for smoother mornings. I knew it wouldn’t last, but at least I was trying to give him habits he would thank me for later in his life. Maybe.

  After saying my goodnights to Cody, I sank into bed and pulled out my laptop. It was all I had to snuggle up to at night now. Quite honestly, it was warmer than Neil had been the months leading up to our separation and divorce. And my followers were hilarious. There was a lawyer in the group that made up a mock NDA for me.

  Section one started with, CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION. “Confidential Information” is defined as any information that I will personally see you maimed and silenced for if you share. It includes, but is not limited to, my weight, how many stretch marks there may or may not be, sagging skin in any or all locations, cellulite deposits . . .

  My phone rang, interrupting my belly laugh. I picked it up without even thinking, assuming it was Avery calling to discuss the NDA and more of our plans for the Sidelined Wife.

  “Hello?” I was still giggling.

  “You sound like you’re in a good mood.”

  All gaiety cease
d with the deep voice I wasn’t expecting. “Reed?”

  “Oh good, you recognized my voice.” He sounded happy, but tentative.

  “How did you get my number?”

  “That’s a good question.”

  “It’s one that deserves an answer.”

  “You’re absolutely right, which means I should first ask you if you are still available to sell gameday tickets at the school on Friday during lunch?”

  “Since when does the head football coach organize that schedule?”

  “I’m not; you should expect an email from Lisa Cardston, the booster president, in the next couple of days.”

  “I’m confused.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out in what sounded like timed intervals.

  “Are you okay?” I asked.

  “Never better.”

  “So why are you calling, and how did you get my number?” I was more than curious.

  “I pulled your number off Cody’s paperwork.” Some guilt mixed into his words.

  What Peter said last week played in my head, something about me missing something. He didn’t think . . . ? Did he? “Okay. Why?”

  “We never got to finish our discussion about curtains versus blinds.”

  A tiny laugh escaped, making me forget I should probably question his judgement in using school information for a personal call. “I didn’t realize how important that was to you.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Do tell.”

  He had no problem obliging. “For starters, are curtains really manly? But, on the other hand, do I want to install blinds in a rental?”

  “Those are deep and perplexing issues.”

  “I think you’re making fun of me.”

  “I think you’re right.”

  He chuckled on his end.

  “Is that really why you called?”

  He paused. “Honestly, I called to see how you are.” His sincerity came through loud and clear.

  “You did?”

  “Yeah. You seemed upset when I arrived for dinner tonight.”

  One of those disgusted ugh sounds came out. “Could you please forget that whole conversation?” Ma had no decorum.

  “I don’t know. Sex and NDAs, that’s an unusual conversation.”

  “I suppose it is.” I smiled to myself.

  “Samantha, I really am sorry for what you’re going through. And just so you know, there’s no reason for you to be embarrassed.”

  “Really? Does your grandma throw fake holy water on you, and does your mom feel the need to announce to your entire family and innocent guests the intimate details of your life?”

  “I’m not sure I’m exactly innocent, unfortunately, I’m not even close. But no, both my grandmas have passed on and my mom doesn’t announce anything publicly. But she calls me every day to ask when she can expect to finally be a grandma.”

  “Ma did the same thing after I got married. One of my wedding gifts from her was a bassinet.”

  “I think I remember that at your reception. Wasn’t there a big pink bow on it?”

  I guess he was there. I couldn’t remember. “Yes. Ma was wishing for a granddaughter. We gave her three boys in a row.”

  “I heard about James’s daughter. I’m so sorry.”

  I swallowed the golf ball of sadness down my throat. It always appeared whenever Hannah was mentioned. I loved that little girl. We used to have a once-a-month shopping and lunch date, just the two of us. I missed the way she said Auntie Sam and how she would cuddle into my side to watch girlie movies. Oh, how I wanted my own little girl.

  “It puts life into perspective, that’s for sure, along with making me more of a worrier. I would put a tracking device on Cody if I didn’t think it was creepy.”

  “I’m sure he appreciates that.”

  “Not as much as he should.”

  “He really is a great kid. He’s a natural-born leader, which isn’t surprising considering who his mother is.”

  “Is that a compliment? Or are you saying I was bossy?”

  “Definitely a compliment. But now thinking back, you were pretty bossy.” I could hear the teasing in his voice.

  “You know, if I’m forgetting your past, I think you owe me the same courtesy. And I wasn’t bossy; I was in charge and trying to protect myself from your and Peter’s antics.”

  “Antics? That’s probably putting it nicely,” he conceded.

  “Agreed. At least one of you turned out nice.”

  “It’s not very polite to talk about your brother that way.”

  I found myself smiling and laughing. “How about this? You forget how bossy I was, and I’ll forget how you terrorized me.”

  “Deal.”

  “I should probably let you go. It’s getting late.”

  “My mom gave me permission to stay up past my bedtime tonight.”

  I laughed again. “Now you’re making fun of me.”

  “Never.”

  “Good night, Reed.”

  “Good night, Samantha.”

  “Reed,” I blurted before he hung up.

  “Yeah?”

  “You can call me Sam.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Why did I still cry on the first day of school? You would think I’d be past it considering his age, but no. It was worse. Each year meant we were getting closer to me not being present on the first day. And someday there would be no more first days. Cody didn’t appreciate the tears or the awkwardly long hug at the door where his friend Hershel could see. At least I was dressed with my hair and makeup done. Ma used to come out in her bathrobe with curlers in her hair. I would at least give him credit for not forcefully extricating himself from me. The kid had several inches on me and he was a lot stronger. He could have easily gotten out of my clutches, but he patted my back and kept saying things like, “Mom, I really need to go.” “I love you.” “You’re embarrassing me.”

  While wiping my tears away and getting ready to head into the office, I got a text.

  Have a good day. This is Reed, by the way, in case you didn’t add me to your contacts yet.

  I hadn’t. I figured Sunday night was a one-time deal.

  Happy first day of school, I responded. I couldn’t say enough how weird it was to be talking to Reed like we were friends.

  I’ve doubled up on coffee and I have the ibuprofen ready to go just in case.

  Good luck.

  Thank you.

  I shrugged and threw my phone into my purse. So many unexpected things kept happening to me. At least Reed was pleasant.

  Five minutes later, on my drive to the office, I received another text from him. My car read texts to me. I was sure it read this one wrong.

  Hey, how would you like to help me shop for curtains? I decided to embrace my feminine side.

  While funny, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. And it wasn’t like I could respond. I was a huge believer in no texting while driving. Ask Cody. I reminded him every time we got in the car that if I ever caught him texting and driving, I’d accompany him on every date he ever went on, as well as confiscate his phone.

  Once I got to the office, I read the text to make sure my car wasn’t playing tricks on me. What did I say? This was the kind of thing you asked your girlfriend or mom to do. Did he see me like a mother figure?

  Another text popped up.

  The students will be filing in soon, and I won’t be able to teach if I’m worried that I’ll buy the wrong length, or anger the home interior gods by mixing the wrong patterns. Don’t even get me going on my curtain rod nightmares.

  I probably looked like an idiot, giggling uncontrollably in my car. Home interior gods?

  What? Do they prefer being called something else? Lifestyle gurus? Is that better?

  Much.

  So will you help me? I can’t risk ticking off a guru.

  I’m not sure I’m the right person, and I can’t have your fate resting in my hands.

  I’ll take my chances.
>
  I thought for a few more seconds. I needed to buy some myself anyway. And I’ll admit, Reed entertained me. I could use some more of that in my life. Okay.

  That sounded lackluster. We are talking curtains here. I need some enthusiasm.

  Who was this guy? Certainly not the kid I used to know. I wasn’t sure how to respond. I had never really gotten that excited over curtains. Okay!

  That was better, but it still needs a little work. I’ve got to do some educating. I’ll call you later to set up a time.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I let that be the final communication.

  In a daze, I walked into the office staring at my phone.

  “More fan mail?” Avery interrupted my thoughts.

  It took me a second to realize she had said something. “Huh?”

  Avery tipped her pretty head to the side. “You all right?”

  I threw my phone back in my purse. “Right as rain.”

  “I almost believe you. And if I’m not mistaken, you seem happy. I thought you would be a big pile of goo after sending Cody to school.”

  “I’m faking it until I make it.” I gave her a semi-real grin.

  “I know that routine.”

  “How did you do sending off the boys this morning?”

  “Me? I threw a party. Your nephews aren’t going to be happy until they knock down a wall or burn the house to the ground. I love those boys, but I miss my girl.” Her voice cracked. “Next week it will be two years.”

  “I know.” I met her at her desk where we embraced.

  “She would have started middle school this year.” Her tears landed on my shoulder. “When we went back-to-school shopping, I almost bought a pink backpack with hearts on it. Remember how much she loved hearts?”

  “I do. I kept the notes she wrote me on the paper hearts she loved to cut out.”

  “I feel terrible for ever getting frustrated with her for leaving paper scraps everywhere. What I wouldn’t give to have her paper fill the house.”

  I hugged her tighter. “She knew how loved she was.”