In the Eye of the Storm

by Samantha Chase

  Deciding that he was staring for an inappropriate amount of time, he remembered to speak. “Kind of early for you to be getting out isn’t it?” He finally released her arms, too.

  “What?” she asked, mildly confused, and then remembered her new hours. “Oh, yes, well…we’re trying something new. I’ve been leaving at five o’clock with everyone else.” She looked at him and his eyebrows were raised as if he was waiting for her to continue.

  “It still feels weird; I feel like my day isn’t done quite yet but it’s nice to be able to go home and cook for myself and relax a little before having to come back here in the morning.”

  That made him laugh. “Well, I hear that you put the boss in his place last weekend. Good for you! It’s about time that someone reminded Mr. Workaholic that some of us enjoy having personal lives. I’m proud of you, Holly.”

  “Thanks.”

  They stood there for a moment with nothing to say before Holly felt the need to escape. “Well, I guess I should be going. Have a nice weekend, Will.” She went to walk around him when he placed a hand on her arm, gently, one more time.

  “Is everything okay, Holly?” His forehead was creased with concern and the question was asked softly so that no one walking by would hear. But one look in his eyes and Holly knew that his concern was sincere. She only hoped that Stephen had not shared any intimate details of their weekend together. He watched her chew on her bottom lip nervously. “I’m not trying to pry or anything, it’s just that…well, I like you; I think that you are an amazing woman. I also know that you and Stephen fought a lot last weekend and yet you’re still here. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. That he’s treating you all right…”

  “I’m fine, Will. Thanks.” She sighed. “It’s a little awkward right now; I kind of wish that I hadn’t opened my mouth to begin with. I know that Stephen is trying to make everything all right between us but it’s been like walking on egg shells all week. Honestly, I’m just glad that this week is finally over. I feel like I can relax at last.”

  He smiled sympathetically at her and she returned it. “Give him time, Holly. Stephen’s not used to anyone standing up to him but he’s smart enough to know that he couldn’t run this place without you. He’s built this company up from nothing and he’s had no one to rely on except himself. It’s probably a new experience for him to have to take someone else’s feelings in to consideration where business is concerned for a little while.”

  “I know,” she said softly, the wind starting to whip up around them, leaves blown off trees over the weekend swirling around them. “I just never thought it would be this…weird, you know?”

  He nodded in agreement and wished her a good weekend and watched her walk away. Will wasn’t the only one watching, however. Up on the eighth floor, from his wall of windows in his office, Stephen had witnessed the entire scene; his emotions running wild. He had said goodbye to Holly and then stood by the window in hopes of getting one last glance of her before she disappeared in to the parking garage. He had not expected to see Will. Stephen had watched their whole exchange down on the sidewalk and wanted to bang on the windows and demand that Will take his hands off of Holly. It wasn’t right that his friend could just casually touch her while he was having to practically sit on his own hands, day after day, since returning to the office on Tuesday.

  The week had been pure hell. In his attempt to keep things as professional as possible, all Stephen had accomplished was making himself more miserable than he’d ever been in his life. Holly was the only one being professional around here; she still came in with a smile and asked all of her usual questions regarding any project he handed her. He was the one that couldn’t bring a smile or even a polite word to his mouth. Damn. He had no trouble running in to ex-lovers and being cordial, polite and down-right witty. Why then, was this so damn difficult? Sure, he never had to see his ex-lovers on an everyday basis but there was a difference between them and Holly; he and Holly had already had a strong relationship.

  Every time she was within his range of vision he would watch her but as soon as she turned his way, he made himself look busy. She wasn’t playing any games, wasn’t trying to get his attention, and that was making him crazy. Honestly, Stephen had expected Holly to at least mention their weekend together. But she hadn’t. He had expected to have to be the one to remind her that they were only working associates; but she hadn’t given him any reason to. For four long days Stephen had to sit back and watch her go on with her life and her job as if nothing had ever happened – which was what he had wanted. Until he had it.

  He hated watching Will make Holly smile and have her meet his eyes when he had done his best to barely look at her, lest she see the heat and longing in his own eyes. It was madness! It was torture. Stalking away from the windows, he walked out to the kitchenette to grab himself a drink while waiting for Will’s arrival. He had not been expecting a visit from his friend but why else would Will have been out on the sidewalk if not here to see him.

  Trying to seem casual and as if he had no idea of his friend being there, Stephen walked back in to his office, took a seat behind his desk and flipped open the file of contracts that Holly had placed there earlier and pretended to read until he heard Will’s knock on his office door.

  “Oh, hey!” Stephen said, feigning surprise. “Come on in. What are you doing here?

  Will walked inside, shook Stephen’s hand and had a seat in the leather chair facing the desk. “Well, I know it sounds cliché, but I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by and check on you. I haven’t heard from you since our phone conversation Saturday night and I’ve got to be honest with you, buddy, the curiosity was killing me.”

  Stephen nodded and took a drink from the can of cola he was holding. “Is that right? What’s got you so curious?” If Will noticed the slight snarl in Stephen’s words, he chose to ignore it.

  “I ran in to Holly outside, so I take it she didn’t quit,” Will began, leaning back in the chair and crossing his legs at the ankles, making himself more comfortable. His smirk was irritating Stephen, he could tell, and decided that if he did not tread carefully, there would be a repeat of last Friday night.

  “No, she didn’t quit,” Stephen said. “We talked about it and decided that the whole situation had just gotten out of hand and so there was no reason for her to leave Ballinger’s. Of course, it would be helpful if Derek didn’t come around for a while.”

  “Helpful to you or to Holly?” Will asked and Stephen’s eyes narrowed at his.

  “Something on your mind, Will?” Stephen said with a calmness he did not feel. It really was last Friday all over again because suddenly he found himself wanting to lunge over the desk and tell his friend to take his smug smile off of his face and then pound him until he promised to never, never lay a hand on Holly again. Instead of raging, however, he merely took another sip of cola and waited for Will’s response.

  Sensing Stephen’s barely concealed rage that only came from years of friendship, Will thought it best to clear the air and be done with it. “So you told Holly about Derek’s theory and she’s probably embarrassed, am I right?” Stephen nodded. “I don’t know about you, but he won’t return any of my calls.”

  “I haven’t even tried to call him again. We spoke, cleared the air a bit and I’m not interested in talking to him right now; I’m interested in not having Holly upset.”

  “Because you don’t want to lose her as an assistant, right?” It was an innocent enough question if it had come from anybody else. Coming from Will, Stephen knew what his friend was fishing for.

  “You want to know if I slept with her?” he snarled. “Fine; yes, we slept together. It was great; it was amazing. It was quite possibly the greatest sex of my life. But at the end of the weekend we decided that that was all it was going to be – a weekend. Holly knows that the company always has and always will come first and that I’m not looking for a relationship so it was agreed upon that she’d return to wor
k, see how things go and if she feels that people are gossiping about her or us, then she’d give me suitable notice. There, are you satisfied?” Stephen jumped up from his chair and kicked it aside, turning his back on Will and placing his palms on the windows behind him, glaring down at the street and beyond.

  He muttered a curse under his breath and raked a hand through his hair before turning back to his friend. Where had this raging beast come from where Holly was concerned? His life was slowly spinning out of control and he had no idea how to reign it all back in. The only thing that Stephen did know right now with any certainty was that for the first time in his life, he was uncertain of his future and how to go about putting everything back in to perspective where it belonged.

  Will took pity on him from his relaxed position in the chair. “I take it, though, that you’re actually not okay with it and that’s what has you in such a foul mood?”

  Stephen wanted to deny it, but couldn’t. “Damned if I know. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted or at least exactly how it was going to be once we came back to work. But the thing is she’s been the model employee. I can’t complain about anything. She’s acting as if the weekend never happened; like we didn’t have mind blowing sex all over the damn house! She’s done her work as impeccably as she always has, she hasn’t made any demands of me or cried or pleaded for a relationship and dammit, I wish she would! How twisted is that?”

  “Extremely.” Will laughed. “What would you do if she did make demands on you and actually wanted a relationship with you? How the hell would you handle that?” Before Stephen had a chance to answer, Will added, “And remember, she knows you pretty damn well and knows how you feel about relationships.”

  “I should be happy, right? I should be relieved and doing a jig that she has made this so easy on my and yet I can’t let myself be happy! Every time she comes through that door I want to say to hell with it all and actually try. I’ve never wanted to try with anyone, but I wouldn’t mind trying my hand at a relationship with Holly.”

  “And when it ends?” Will asked.

  Glaring, Stephen hesitated. “What if it didn’t end?” He left that thought hanging, wanting to know what Will thought of it. If anyone could help him make sense of any of this, Will could and right now, Stephen was desperate for help.

  Scratching his chin in consideration, Will shifted in the chair, got more comfortable, before answering. “Well, if it didn’t end, I’d have to venture a guess and say that you were talking about marriage.” He arched an eyebrow and waited for a response. He didn’t get one. “Is that what you’re considering? Marriage?” Still no answer. “I never thought I’d live to see the day that Stephen Ballinger would actually even consider taking the plunge. But let me ask you this, are you considering this because you actually love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her, or are you considering it because it guarantees that you can have Holly exactly where you want to and not inconvenience yourself in any way, shape or form? Sort of like having your cake and eating it too?”

  Stephen cringed at Will’s choice of words. Hadn’t he had the same argument with himself last weekend? It sounded crude when Will said it out loud. Was he actually considering something to cold and calculated?

  “Stephen?” Will prompted. “Tell me that you’re not thinking of marriage as a way of not inconveniencing yourself…”

  Sitting back down in his chair behind the desk, Stephen put his head in his hands and murmured, “I wish I could.” They sat there like that for several long, silent minutes before Will finally stood up.

  “Holly deserves better than that,” Will said cautiously, afraid to risk Stephen’s rage again.

  There was nothing but hopelessness written all over Stephen’s face. “I know,” he replied lowly.

  “Look, it sounds like you’ve had a bitch of a week. Let’s get out of here and go and grab some dinner. Nothing major, but nothing like that bar last weekend, okay?” Stephen agreed mainly because he needed a distraction. He must have voiced that thought out loud because Will added, “There will be no more talk of Holly, relationships, marriage or Ballinger’s. Okay?”

  For the first time all week, Stephen felt his spirits rise. He had been spending too much time obsessing over this situation with Holly. Luckily, he had many coals in the fire with Ballinger’s and so it was easy to keep himself busy, but it wasn’t enough to keep him from thinking of her completely. It was obvious that he’d think about her during the day because she was always there, but when he went home at night, it was worse. Every room he went in to he remembered Holly being there, laughing there, and making him want things that he had never wanted before. This night out with Will promised to take him away from all thoughts of his life of late and help him to clear his mind for a little while. .

  Will drove them to their favorite steakhouse and to both of their surprises, Derek was standing at the bar when they walked in. The three men stood silently looking at one another, unsure of what to do. Derek broke the silence. “Well, well, well…how’d you know I’d be here?” he said smugly. Will and Stephen looked at each other and then at Derek, unwilling to believe his conceit.

  “We had no idea you’d be here,” Will began. “We figured you’d still be at home crying over how we all did you wrong.” Derek laughed out loud at that statement and grabbed Will in a bear hug.

  “God, I missed you guys this week! C’mon, let’s get a table and eat and drink and leave this miserable week behind.” They all readily agreed and when the waitress led them to their usual table in the back corner, all seemed right with the world.

  It was as if nothing had ever been wrong between them; they talked, they ate, and they laughed. There was no mention of Holly; there seemed a silent agreement that that topic was off limits. Stephen found himself having a better time than he thought possible. Maybe it wasn’t going to be so hard to move on and get his life back on track.

  He wasn’t in love with Holly. He knew that that was impossible. Soon the haze of lust would fade and last weekend would be nothing more than a memory. Stephen made a bird’s eye sweep of the interior of the restaurant for women with hopes of someone catching his eye. For the first time in memory, it seemed that there were none.

  Ordering another round of beers, they talked of plans for Thanksgiving which was a month away. None of them were big on family gatherings and tended to try and do something together like skiing or heading off to an island for a long weekend. This year it seemed that they were all up for skiing. Stephen didn’t mind; anything was better than staying at home alone.

  Derek had a condo in Vail and so by the end of the night it was decided upon that they would fly in the day before Thanksgiving and stay through the weekend. It felt good to have plans together. Yes, this could be exactly what Stephen needed; who knew, maybe he would even meet someone up there to pass the time with that would take his mind off of Holly.

  While Will and Derek talked about slopes and who was the better skier, Stephen tried to picture the scenario in his head where they would go to the lodge where they normally went and where he’d met women before. He pictured himself coming in after a long day on the slopes and seeing a beautiful woman – a snow bunny of sorts – sitting by the large stone fireplace nursing a large mug of hot chocolate. He smiled at the thought.

  Getting deeper in to the fantasy while Will and Derek were almost getting violent in their need to prove who the more skilled sportsman was, Stephen leaned back in the booth and closed his eyes. He would walk up to this beautiful woman who, up until now, had been cast in shadows, and ask her if he could buy her another drink. She’d turn to face him, her long chestnut hair spinning over her shoulders, big green eyes staring at him…Holly.

  He muttered a curse that had both Derek and Will stopping their arguing to look at him. “Something the matter?” Derek asked.

  Stephen was stunned and couldn’t believe that he was stupid enough to speak out loud! He recovered quickly. “Um, no…I just remembered
that I forgot to take some contracts home with me that I need to review this weekend. That means I’ll have to go back up in to the office and I really was looking forward to not going back there all weekend.”

  “Ah…” his friends both said in unison, totally understanding.

  Not long after, they all readily agreed that it was time to go. Will took Stephen back to Ballinger’s where his car was. He walked Stephen in to the office where he watched him grab the contract folder and then they walked back out to the parking garage together, making idle talk along the way.

  “He may be a pain in the ass, but it was good to see Derek tonight,” Will commented.

  “Absolutely,” Stephen agreed. “I think Vail is a good idea. It will be good to get away for a couple of days. It’s been too long.” Now it was Will’s turn to nod in agreement.

  “Now if only we could make it a guy’s only thing and not have to deal with the pressure of meeting anyone and hearing of Derek’s expertise with the ladies the whole damn time, it would be a great weekend…” Will said.

  Stephen stopped next to his car and looked at Will oddly. “Are you telling me that you are not interested in meeting anyone for a mindless weekend of female companionship? What’s up with that?” Stephen had been so wrapped up in his own female troubles that he had not even given anyone else’s life a though. “What’s going on?”

  Will shrugged non-chalantly, unwilling to talk about his life. Besides, Stephen had enough on his mind without adding to it with his problems. “Look, it was good getting together with you tonight. Go home and try to have a good weekend. I’ll talk to you next week.” With that, he turned and walked away, the shadows of the parking garage swallowing him up before Stephen had a chance to respond.

  The drive home was pleasant for the first time that week mainly because for the first time in days, Stephen had something else to focus on – Will. He couldn’t remember Will mentioning being involved with anyone. Why would his friend keep his relationship a secret? Why? Probably for the same reason Stephen had wished to hell he’d kept his and Holly’s a secret. Once it’s out there, everyone is privy to your pain and turmoil.