Toujours Tingo

by Adam Jacot De Boinod

  poronkusema (Finnish) the distance equal to how far a rein-deer can travel without a comfort break – about 5 kilometres (literally, reindeer’s piss)

  tonbogaeri (Japanese) to go somewhere for business and come right back without staying the night (literally, dragonfly’s return)

  … or far:

  donde San Pedro perdió el guarache (Mexican Spanish) to the back of beyond; at the ends of the earth (literally, where St Peter lost his sandal)

  tuwatauihaiw-ana (Yamana, Chile) to be absent a very long time and thus cease to remember or care for your country and people (as an emigrant might after a long absence)

  False friends

  travel (Norwegian) busy

  crush (Romani) to get out

  bias (Malay) deflected from its course

  grind (Dutch) gravel

  Wanderlust

  Some people just can’t wait to get going:

  Tapetenwechsel (German) being bored with the place you’re in and wishing to go somewhere else (literally, let’s change the wallpaper)

  echarse el polio (Chilean Spanish) to get out of town (literally, to throw out the chicken)

  amenonéhne (Cheyenne, USA) to sing while walking along

  henkyoryugaku (Japanese) young women who in their twenties and thirties rebel against social norms and travel abroad to devote time to an eccentric art form such as Balinese dancing (literally, studying abroad in the wild)

  Tag – along

  But it can get lonely out there, so consider taking a companion:

  uatomoceata (Yamana, Chile) to pass your arm within another’s and bring him along, as friends do

  adi (Swahili) to accompany a person part of their way out of politeness

  Lebensgefahrte (German) one who travels life’s road with you

  nochschlepper (Yiddish) a fellow traveller, tag-along, camp follower, pain in the arse (literally, someone who drags along after someone else)

  ku-sebeya (Ganda, Uganda) to travel with one’s husband

  Wire donkey

  Travel on two wheels is always economical, and can be more or less environmentally sound:

  der Drahtesel (German) a bicycle (literally, wire donkey)

  washa (Luvale, Zambia) a bicycle (from the sound it makes as it runs along a narrow path brushing against bushes)

  stegre (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) to ride a bicycle or a motorized two-wheel vehicle on only the back wheel

  bromponie (Afrikaans) a motor scooter (literally, a growling or muttering pony)

  Loosely bolted

  And though four wheels are faster, there is many a pitfall:

  sakapusu (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) an unreliable vehicle, so called because you always need to get out (saka) and push (pusu)

  galungkung (Maguindanaon, Philippines) the rattling sound produced by a loosely bolted car

  der Frischfleischwagen (German) an ambulance (literally, fresh meat delivery van)

  parte (Chilean Spanish) a traffic ticket; also a baptism or wedding invitation

  gagjom (Tibetan) to set up a roadblock and then rob someone

  Highway code

  Sometimes the greatest danger on the road comes from other users:

  faire une queue de poisson (French) to overtake and cut in close in front of a car (literally, to do a fishtail)

  Notbremse ziehen (German) to swerve away at the last moment (literally, to pull the handbrake)

  shnourkovat’ sya (Russian) to change lanes frequently and unreasonably when driving (literally, to lace boots)

  autogangsteri (Finnish) a hit-and-run driver

  Lucky number plates

  The Chinese particularly like car number plates with 118, which is pronounced yat yat fatt in Cantonese and sounds like ‘everyday prospers’; 1128 sounds like ‘everyday easily prospers’; and 888 ‘prosper, prosper, prosper’. A number plate with 1164 is not popular because it sounds like yat yat look say, which can mean ‘everyday roll over and die’.

  A Hong Kong owner (i.e. a Cantonese speaker) would favour a number plate with just 32168, which sounds like sang yee yat low fatt, meaning ‘a very profitable business all the way’.

  Japanese cars can’t have the licence plate 4219 because that could be read as shi ni i ku, which means something along the lines of ‘going to death’.

  Jesus’s magimix

  If all else fails there’s always public transport (with all the delights that that entails). As the Germans say, ‘We are all equal in the eyes of God and bus drivers’:

  gondola (Chilean Spanish) a municipal bus

  Lumpensammler (German) the last train (literally, rag collector)

  Luftkissenboot (German) a hovercraft (literally, air-cushion vehicle)

  Or perhaps it’s time to splash out on something special:

  magimiks belong Yesus (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a helicopter

  Pushmepullyou

  Japanese subways are so crowded that they employ special packers to push people on and others to untangle them and get them off when they get to a station. The pushers-on are addressed as oshiya-san (honourable pusher) and the pullers-off as hagitoriya-san (honourable puller).

  Unknown and uneasy

  The truth is that travel is rarely as glamorous as it’s portrayed. So whatever happens, keep your nerve:

  far-lami (Old Icelandic) unable to go further on a journey

  kalangkalang (Manobo, Philippines) to be overtaken by night on a journey with no place to stay and nothing to eat

  asusu (Boro, India) to feel unknown and uneasy in a new place

  bu fu shultu (Chinese) not accustomed to the climate or food of a new place (said of a stranger)

  wewibendam (Ojibway, North America) being in a hurry to return home

  Empty trip

  And sometimes you will be surprised by unexpected rewards:

  inchokkilissa (Alabama, USA) to be alone and experience the quietness of a location

  uluphá (Telugu, India) supplies given to any great personage on a journey, and furnished gratis by those who reside on the route

  Even if you never actually go:

  kara-shutcho (Japanese) to pay or receive travel expenses for a trip not actually taken (literally, empty business trip)

  Travellers’ tales

  Always remember that, as the French say, ‘À beau mentir qul vient de loin’, travellers from afar can lie with impunity:

  iwaktehda (Dakota, USA) to go home in triumph having taken scalps

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  To beat about the bush

  y aller par quatre chemins (French) to get there by four paths

  iddur mal-lewża (Maltese) to go round the almond

  å gå – som katten rundt den varma groten (Norwegian) to walk like a cat around hot porridge

  menare il can per l’aia (Italian) to lead the dog around the yard

  emborrachar la perdiz (Spanish) to get the partridge drunk

  13.

  Home Sweet Home

  Padres, primos e pombos. Os dois primeiros, não servem para casar. Os dois últimos só servem para sujar a casa (Portuguese)

  Priests, cousins and pigeons. The first two are not good to marry. The last two only make the house dirty

  Location, location, location

  ‘Choose the neighbour before the house’ goes an old Syrian proverb; and it’s as well to check out the people living nearby before you move in:

  kwarts-idioot (Dutch) next door to an idiot

  espreitadeira (Portuguese) a woman who spies on her neighbours

  geitonopoulo/a (Greek) the boy/girl next door

  buurvrouw (Dutch) a neighbour’s wife

  búa-grettur (Old Icelandic) a quarrel between neighbours

  keba (Myanmar) a village reserved for outcasts and beggars

  Nesting

  If you have space and time, and hopefully some good materials, your best bet is probably to build your own:

  u’skwææi (Mingo, USA) a brick (literally, cooked stone)

  skvore
ts (Russian) a person transporting building materials to a dacha in a car (literally, a starling – with reference to nest building)

  méygirathu (Tamil) to cover a house with grass, leaves, etc.

  maaia (Yamana, Chile) to build wigwams here and there, as a large number of people flocking to a place will do rather than crowd into two or three existing wigwams

  Pulling together

  Things always work out better if you’ve got people to help you:

  akittlttuq (Iñupiat, Inuit) a stitch used for sewing a tent made by having one person on the inside while the other is outside (the one on the inside pushes the needle out so that the other person can pull the thread through; the person on the outside then pushes the needle in for the other person to pull); the same stitch is used for sewing a window into place

  dugnad (Norwegian) working together in everyone’s interest without getting paid (for example, moving into a house, painting, building a cabin, etc.; also applies to parents coming together to paint a kindergarden, or everyone in an apartment building cleaning inside and outside the house together)

  imece (Turkish) a social gathering at which everyone pitches in to help a neighbour undertake a large task

  False friends

  abort (German) Iavatory

  bang (Korean) room

  dig (Gaelic) ditch

  sir (Arabic) crack of the door

  street (Norwegian) gate

  rub (Croatian) edge

  Flagging the beam

  In Surinam, when the main roof beam of a new house is in place they have a celebration they call opo-oso, at which a flower or flag is nailed to the end of the beam, some beer is sprayed on the front of the building and then the builders, owner and others have a drink to celebrate.

  Dutch decor

  The Dutch have two useful expressions: kneuterig describes a particularly bourgeois type of stinginess which someone might display if they spent a fortune buying a new house and then furnished it with the cheapest fittings available, all in the name of saving money; and its opposite een vlag op een modderschuit, excessive decoration of a common thing, or trying to make the ugly beautiful (literally, a flag on a mud barge).

  Chinese whispers

  It is an increasingly common practice to transliterate foreign proper nouns into Chinese characters that sound similar to the original word but give the Western name a highly positive connotation to Chinese ears:

  adian Athens proper law

  zhili Chile wisdom benefit

  deli Delhi virtue hometown

  faguo France method country

  henghe Ganges everlasting river

  haiya The Hague sea tooth

  ingguo England country of heroes

  lundun London matching honest

  meiguo America beautiful country

  niuyue New York bound agreement

  taiguo Thailand Peaceful country

  Frog in a well

  The Germans have the wonderful word Gemütlichkeit for that particular quality of cosiness you can only ever feel at home. In that always-descriptive language, someone who prefers to stay at home is a Stubenhocker, literally, a room sitter; and in the end, however splendid the house, it’s our intimate individual eyries we actually spend our time in:

  pung (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to keep to one’s room

  sucilwa (Mambwe, Zambia) a man who never leaves his hut (literally, all smoked up)

  kúpa-mand úka (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) one who never leaves his home, one ignorant of the world (literally, a frog in a well)

  The emperor’s throne

  Different cultures have very different approaches to what we euphemistically call the smallest room in the house. The Spanish have excusado, with its polite suggestion of excusing yourself, whereas the German term wo sogar der Kaiser von China allein hingeht literally means ‘where the emperor of China goes by himself.’ Once there, though, we all go through the same motions:

  engkilu’ (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) sticks or leaves used as toilet paper

  zasedat’ (Russian) to sit on the toilet for a long time (literally, to preside)

  Toilet museum

  Some insist on trying to make us forget why we’re there at all:

  toirebijutsukan (Japanese) a trend whereby young women moving into an apartment alone for the first time will go to extreme lengths to decorate their lavatory, scent it with perfume and stock it with interesting literature (literally, toilet museum)

  Spatially aware

  We all know these domestic places and spaces; but not all languages have such precise words for them:

  bakatoo (Mandinka, West Africa) the space between the bed and the wall

  izungu (Mambwe, Zambia) the space between the bed and the ground

  caukā (Hindi) a clean corner in the kitchen for having meals; a rectangular slab of stone

  Giftschrank (German) a cupboard where things are kept that may only be lent out to someone with special permission (literally, poison cabinet)

  antardvār (Hindi) a private door inside a house

  rincón (Spanish) the internal corner (the external corner is esquina)

  Besucherritze (German) the gap where the middle of three people lies when two single beds are pushed together (literally, a visitor’s trench)

  Crumb thief

  The same is true of the clutter we fill our rooms up with; until, as the Russians say, ‘Igolku nygde votknut’, there’s nowhere you can throw a needle:

  dur dicki mengri (Romani) a telescope (literally, far-seeing-thing)

  hap laplap bilong wasim plet (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a dish cloth

  kruimeldief (Dutch) a hoover (literally, a crumb thief)

  Staubsauger (German) a vacuum cleaner (literally, dustsucker)

  yötwёnukwastahkwa’ (Mingo, USA) radio (literally, people use it for spreading their voice out)

  dinnilos dikkamuktar (Romani) television (literally, fool’s looking box)

  Flimmerkasten (German) television (literally, flickering box)

  Whatever our circumstances, in the end, perhaps, we should just be grateful that we are á-panna-griha (Sanskrit), someone whose house has not fallen in.

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  To make a mountain out of a molehill

  tehdä kärpäsestä härkänen (Finnish) to make a bull out of fly

  se noyer dans un verre d’eau (French) to drown oneself in a glass of water

  til ka taad banaana or rai ka pahaad banana (Hindi) to turn a sesame seed into a large tree or to turn a mustard seed into a mountain

  arcem e cloaca facere (Latin) to make a stronghold out of a sewer

  narediti iz muhe slona (Slovenian) to make an elephant from a fly

  14.

  Dinner Time

  kopeklerin duasi kabul olsa gökten kemik yağardi (Turkish)

  if dogs’ prayers were accepted it would rain bones from the sky

  Rushed breakfast

  When it comes to eating there is, of course, no such thing as a typical meal:

  munkavacsora (Hungarian) a working dinner

  kamatuao (Gilbertese, Oceania) a meal for one who wakes during the night

  bulunenekinoo (Mandinka, West Africa) the first meal cooked by a bride

  ottobrata (Italian) a country outing or picnic in October

  hwyaden (Welsh) the small amount of breakfast a newly married man has time to eat when leaving home for work after intimacy with his new wife (literally, a duck)

  My tapeworm is talking

  And there are still many parts of the world where you can’t take any kind of refreshment for granted:

  kemarok (Malay) ravenously hungry after an illness

  hiukaista (Finnish) to feel hungry for something salty

  paragadupu (Telugu, India) the state of the stomach before a person has broken his fast

  fulumizya (Mambwe, Zambia) to cook quickly for somebody who is very hungry

  étaomêhótsenôhtóvenestse napâhpóneehéhame (Cheyenne, USA) being very hungry
(literally, my tapeworm can almost talk by itself)

  Sampling

  Particular skills are often required to make sure you’ve got the very best of the ingredients available:

  kupit’ arbuz navyrez (Russian) to buy a watermelon with the right to sample a section

  pale (Scots) to test a cheese by an incision

  athukkugirathu (Tamil) to press a fruit softly with the fingers

  Stirring it up

  And then time must be taken to get things correctly and thoroughly prepared:

  jiigi (Buli, Ghana) to stir with much energy, to prepare a hard food that cannot be stirred with one hand

  ri-noo-ko che-he-kuo (Car, Nicobar Islands) chopping up with spoons and forks

  tikudeni (Maguindanaon, Philippines) to put the correct amount of rice into a pot to be cooked

  loyly (Finnish) the wave of heat that engulfs you when you throw water on the hot stove

  Surprise water

  Now is the moment when a cook’s individual skills can make all the difference to the end result. As the Chinese wisely say, ‘Never eat in a restaurant where the chef is thin’:

  tliwat (Tagalog, Philippines) to pour a liquid several times between containers to mix or cool it well

  bikkuri mizu (Japanese) a small amount of cold water added to a boiling pot of spaghetti or other noodles just before they are cooked (literally, surprise water: i.e. the cold water surprises the noodles)