“I can’t believe this is happening,” Jenny said to Bill that night. “We’re going to have a baby in four months.” He smiled at her and took her in his arms. They had four months to get ready for the most important day of their lives. The day they brought their baby home. Jenny didn’t mind at all that she wasn’t giving birth to it. She would be there when it was born. Bill would have liked to be too, but he didn’t want to intrude on Lucy, so he would have to wait until the baby left the delivery room in Jenny’s arms. It had all worked out in the end. They had lost two babies of their own, and now this fourteen-year-old girl was giving them their dream. It was the greatest gift she could have given them. Jenny told her that every time she saw her, and thanked her for the gift. She and Bill talked about it all the time now when they were alone. It was all Jenny could think about, and she finally admitted to Gretchen that they were adopting a baby, but they didn’t know who the parents were. And Gretchen was so happy for them. Jenny had told her mother as well, who was cautiously happy for them and hoped it would work out well. She was afraid the birth mother might change her mind and Jenny would be disappointed. Jenny assured her that wouldn’t be the case.
Jenny moved her office to a corner of the living room, and they started getting the nursery ready in May. And Maggie had continued coming to the abuse group for the past two months. Her stories were the same as all the others, of being beaten and slapped around by her husband, as she had been for years. But something had changed. She was no longer willing to accept the treatment from him that she had taken before.
And as they waited for their baby to come, Bill never missed an opportunity to tell Jenny that he loved her until the end of time.
Chapter 9
Jenny was painting the nursery one morning in June, when she heard the doorbell ring. Bill had gone off to see Clay Roberts about some repairs they needed to make to the church, and Clay wanted to discuss them with him, as the head of the church board. She went downstairs and opened the door, and found herself looking at Debbie, with three of her children all around her, and the baby in her arms. She looked frightened, she had a huge black eye, and her arm was in a sling.
“Jenny, can you help me?” she said without preamble, and Jenny stepped aside immediately so they could come in. The children were all wearing pajamas, Debbie looked hastily dressed, and she had nothing with her except a shopping bag full of diapers for the baby and some snacks for the kids.
“What happened?” Jenny asked her, looking worried. She went to the fridge to get juice for the kids and poured Debbie a cup of coffee.
“He said he was going to kill me,” she said in a hoarse whisper, as they walked a few steps away, so the children couldn’t hear them. “He thinks I’ve been cheating on him, and I haven’t. He’s crazy. One of his friends came over and tried to help me fix Mikey’s crib. He must have said something to him when they went out drinking together, and Tony came home, threw me down the stairs, and gave me a black eye. I want to go to my older sister in Cheyenne. She said I can stay there until I find a job. I didn’t tell anyone where we were going. I just left when he went out. He’s crazy. I think he really would kill me. He started using uppers, and he drinks all the time now. I can’t stay there anymore, he’s going to do something terrible to me or the children. I can’t take the chance.” She was willing to run away to save her children, but for herself she had stayed there and taken the abuse for years. Jenny was just glad that she had finally gotten up the guts to get out. She was young, and she could start over and have a good life.
“How are you going to get to Cheyenne?” Jenny asked her, and Debbie looked blank. There was a bus, but she had no money, and if Tony saw her at the bus station, he would force her to go back. “I’ll take you,” Jenny said without hesitating, realizing Debbie had no plan. She just threw the diapers into a bag, grabbed her children, and ran, before he returned to the house. It would take him a while to figure out that she had escaped. She had left no note, and for a short time he would think they had just gone out. It gave her several hours’ jump start on him before he started looking for her. Time was of the essence. And Jenny knew that it was a seven- or eight-hour drive to Cheyenne. “Okay, let’s go,” she told Debbie. They would take Bill’s truck. It had a backseat and a front seat, with six seat belts all told, enough to get them there safely, even though they had no car seats, but Debbie could sit in back and hold the baby, and there were seat belts for all the other kids. And whatever they did, it was safer for all of them than staying at their house.
She left Bill a note on the kitchen table for him to find when he got home. “Sorry I hijacked your truck. You can use mine. Gone for a while. Will call you when I can. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Mission of mercy. I’ll explain. I love you, J.” She was afraid to write anything more in case Tony showed up at her house, broke in, and found the note. She shepherded Debbie and the children out to Bill’s truck and settled everyone in. She had grabbed her purse and still had paint on her hands. She hadn’t stopped to change or clean up. She just wanted to get Debbie and her kids out of town as fast as possible. Debbie was finally doing the right thing. And Jenny didn’t want her to lose courage or momentum now. She had been hoping for months that Debbie would leave. And whatever it took, Tony had finally crossed the line.
Jenny drove for two hours until the kids all started to complain that they were hungry. She stopped at a Burger King and bought everyone lunch, and after that they fell asleep. And it was a long silent drive for the next several hours. Even Debbie fell asleep in the back, slumped over, with the baby in her arms, and the seat belt around both of them. Jenny turned on the radio, to keep her awake, and for distraction. It was nearly four o’clock when they all woke up again, and they had been on the road for six hours. It was another two hours before they reached Cheyenne at six o’clock. The kids were hungry again, but Debbie didn’t want to stop and was anxious to get to her sister’s. She gave Jenny directions to her sister’s house.
She was a carbon copy of Debbie, in a slightly older version, and there were children running all over her house, the moment she opened the door. The place was tiny, the living room was full of toys, and her husband was watching TV. He had just come home from work and had a beer in his hand, and her sister hugged Debbie as soon as she saw her. She knew what Debbie was doing there, and Jenny was dismayed, as she followed them in, to see how small the house was. It would be tough for two families to live there, even for a short time. But Debbie’s sister had always promised to help her find a job in Cheyenne if she left Tony, and she finally had. Her sister looked relieved, and thanked Jenny for getting them there.
One thing was certain, Debbie could never go back to Moose. Particularly with Tony so angry now, the risk of being anywhere near him was just too great. Tony’s perception would be that she had stolen their children from him, and it would anger him even more. But it had been the right thing for her to do. She had had no other choice.
Jenny gave her all the money she had in her purse when she left. She didn’t want to linger, as she had an eight-hour drive ahead of her through the night. She had given Debbie less than two hundred dollars and it wouldn’t take her far, but it was better than nothing. Afterward Jenny thought she should have tried to cash a check, and given her more, but she didn’t think of it until she was on the road again. She stopped at a gas station to put gas in the truck for the trip home and called Bill. He answered on the first ring and had been frantic, wondering where she was. She’d called earlier from a gas station on the way to Cheyenne, but no one had answered.
“Where are you? I’ve been sick with worry. I came back and you were gone.”
“I’m sorry, baby. Debbie showed up with her kids, with a black eye and her arm in a sling, and she finally decided to bail. She asked me to get her to her sister in Cheyenne. I just dropped her off. I’m heading home now.”
“I’m supposed to be the angel of mercy around here, not you. I don’t want him coming after you if he figures out yo
u helped her escape. I want you to be very careful and keep the doors locked from now on. What time will you be back?”
“I’m leaving Cheyenne now. I’ll be home in seven or eight hours.” He hated the idea of her driving for so many hours with no one with her. But there was nothing they could do, and she was a good driver.
“I hope she stays there,” Bill said, sounding worried about Debbie.
“She will. She’s never coming back. She’s too afraid of Tony to even think about it.”
“Don’t be so sure. Abuse victims have a way of returning to their abusers. It’s an addiction that’s hard to break.” He had learned that from working with abused women. Too many of them went back to their abusers and paid a high price for it in the end.
“I don’t think she’s addicted to him. She just had nowhere to go, and her sister’s place is too small. She has to find a job soon.”
“Just come home now, Jenny. And drive carefully. If you’re tired, pull over and sleep.” If she drove straight through, she’d be home around three in the morning, even later if traffic was bad leaving Cheyenne.
“I will. I promise,” she told him, and she was wide awake. She had been on edge all day, trying to deliver Debbie and her children to Cheyenne safely. She put the radio on when she got back in the truck, and had bought coffee at the gas station. All she wanted now was to get home to Bill. She had completed her mission and hopefully delivered Debbie to a better life.
She drove through the night and got home at two-thirty—she had made good time. And Bill woke instantly, the moment she slipped into bed. She had taken off her clothes and dropped them on the floor, and was wearing her underwear and a T-shirt, when he put his arms around her.
“Thank God you’re home,” he said, sounding sleepy in the dark. “I was worried about you all night.” He had finally gone to bed around two.
“I’m fine,” she said, cuddling close to him, and nestling her face in his neck. She was asleep in two minutes and woke up late the next morning. Bill was downstairs making coffee when she got up.
“What a day that was,” she said as she sat down at the kitchen table, looking exhausted, and he handed her a mug of coffee. She had driven sixteen hours the day before, and she felt dazed and was still stunned by Debbie’s escape to Cheyenne with her children. Jenny wondered how she was doing—Debbie had promised to stay in touch.
After breakfast, Jenny went back to painting the nursery, and they finished it together that weekend. They had bought nursery furniture in a shop at the mall, and Jenny put appliqués of little teddy bears on it when they were finished. It looked adorable, and she was pleased. The baby was only five weeks away now, and Lucy was uncomfortable and frightened of what lay ahead. She wasn’t emotionally prepared for what she’d have to go through in the delivery, but her mother and Jenny were determined to get her through it, and the doctor at St. Mary’s was sympathetic and experienced at delivering girls her age. He had promised to make both labor and delivery as easy as possible for her.
And then it would be over, she could put it behind her and go back to her life as a sophomore in high school in the fall. They were letting her take her exams at St. Mary’s, and she had to do homework every day. The nuns told her that with time, it would seem like it had never happened, and she would forget. Jenny knew that was an even bigger lie than the ones the boy had told her to get her to have sex when she didn’t want to. How would she ever forget giving birth at fourteen to a baby she was being forced to give away? Jenny couldn’t imagine anything worse, and she still felt guilty at times that her greatest joy would cause Lucy so much pain, not just physically but emotionally, when she gave the baby up. But Lucy was in no way prepared to have a child, and her father had not relented, although her relationship with her mother had improved markedly in the last three months. Maggie was stronger and calmer after her months in the abuse group, and she was determined to help her daughter, and protect her when she got home. At least they all knew the baby would have a loving home. Of that there was no doubt.
It was all Jenny could think of now, and she was in town at the general store, buying diapers and nursery supplies two weeks later, when Debbie walked in with her kids. Jenny’s jaw nearly dropped when she saw her, and she walked over to her with a look of panic. She had heard nothing from her since she left her at her sister’s in Cheyenne, but Jenny had assumed she was safe.
“What are you doing here?” she asked in a whisper. “Why aren’t you in Cheyenne?” She was terrified for her, seeing her back in town. She wondered if Tony knew she was there.
“I couldn’t find a job,” Debbie answered nervously, glancing over her shoulder. “Tony showed up and brought me back.” Her eyes were deep pools of despair.
“How did he know you were there?”
She hesitated for a fraction of a second. “I called him. I had no money to feed the kids. My sister couldn’t help me out, and there was no work for me there. I couldn’t afford to pay a sitter.”
“You should have called me. I would have helped.” Jenny felt guilty again for not leaving her more when she left Cheyenne, and then she remembered what Bill had told her, that abuse victims often went back to their abusers and came to a bad end. She didn’t want that to happen to her. She had walked right back into the lion’s mouth.
Debbie looked at her imploringly then. “Don’t come by the house. Don’t call me. He really will kill me then. I’ll call you if I can.” And as she said it, Tony walked in, looking surly, and grabbed Debbie’s arm. He walked right past Jenny as though he hadn’t seen her, and didn’t care. He told his wife to hurry up, and walked out again. Jenny watched in horror as she gathered up her children and left.
Jenny told Bill about it when she got home, and Gretchen when she saw her that night. She had come to admire the nursery, and shook her head when Jenny told her about seeing Debbie at the store.
“Poor kid. He’s such a bad guy. Tony always was. She’d have been better off starving in Cheyenne with her sister, than back with him.”
“I’m afraid of what he’ll do to her now.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it, Jenny. She has to free herself, however long it takes. No one can do it for her. She probably feels trapped, with no money and all those kids.” Jenny nodded, and they ran the abuse group together that night. Gretchen had never been an abuse victim, but she was good with the groups. And Lucy’s mother Maggie was there as usual that night. She hadn’t missed a meeting since she started and seemed to have gained confidence in the three months since Lucy was at St. Mary’s. Maggie seemed like a different woman, and she was attending Al-Anon meetings too.
Jenny was having breakfast with Bill the next morning, when Gretchen called her in a shocked voice. At first Jenny didn’t even recognize who it was.
“Oh my God, you were right” was all she said at first, and Jenny could hear that she was crying, and then realized who it was.
“About what?”
“He killed her last night. Tony killed Debbie. He came home drunk and threw her down the stairs. She died of a brain hemorrhage this morning. I just saw her mother.”
“What about the kids?” Jenny said, sounding panicked.
“They’re okay. They’re with her mother. Apparently, he called the cops himself and said she fell, but they found evidence that he’d beaten her badly before he threw her. He’s in jail, being held for murder. You saw this coming,” Gretchen said in a choked voice.
“And I didn’t stop it,” Jenny said, devastated by what Gretchen had just told her. A few minutes later she hung up and told Bill. He had already figured it out from her end of the conversation, and he wasn’t surprised. She had signed her death warrant when she came back. He had seen it happen before.
“I should have been more forceful with her,” Jenny said, looking at Bill mournfully. “I didn’t want to upset her. She was always so afraid to piss him off.”
“It wouldn’t have made any difference,” Bill said, as he put an arm aroun
d her. “You couldn’t make her leave him or stay away.”
“I thought when she went to Cheyenne, she’d never come back.” She had lasted two weeks and called him. And now her children had no mother, and she was dead at twenty-four.
Jenny was depressed about it all day, and to distract herself, she went to see Lucy. She was miserable in a summer heat wave and cried every time she talked about giving birth. She didn’t want to go through it, but there was no turning back now. She clung to Jenny like a small child, which in many ways she was. And she was about to grow up. Fast.
Jenny stopped in to see Gretchen on the way home, and they talked about Debbie again. She told her what Bill had said.
“He’s right. I don’t think any of us could have stopped him, or gotten her away. She was too tangled up in his web, and too used to the abuse.” But that seemed like such an easy excuse to Jenny. Gretchen asked about their birth mother then, to change the subject. All she knew was that they were adopting a baby in New York in July. She had no idea that the baby was Lucy’s, whom she knew, which was their agreement with Lucy’s parents.
“It’s all going along fine,” Jenny said, smiling. “It won’t be long now. They’re going to call us when the baby is born, and we’ll go pick it up and bring it home.”
“I’m surprised you don’t want to be at the birth,” Gretchen commented. It seemed like what Jenny would want to do, knowing her as she did now, and Bill just as much so. They were very warm, loving people who would want to be there the minute their child was born.
“The mother doesn’t want us there. She’s very young,” Jenny said smoothly, and as she did, Gretchen gave her a long look.
Until the End of Time: A Novel Page 13