Pride and Porters

by Charlotte Greene

  He finally looked up, and his smile faltered for a second. A knowing grin followed, and he winked at them.

  “My apologies for intruding. Jen and I forgot our growler. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Not a problem at all!” Erin sprang to her feet with nervous energy, hurried to the little table, and then carried the beer over to him. “We were going to drink it if you didn’t come back.”

  “Got here just in time, then,” he said. He met Erin’s eyes, and, from the merry twinkle in them, Erin could see that he knew exactly what he’d just walked in on. “Anyway—thanks. You two have a good night, now. See you in the morning.”

  He turned and went outside, and Erin closed and locked the door behind him. She stood there for a moment, breathing heavily, trying to calm down. She finally turned around, and Darcy had a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter.

  “Jesus,” Erin said, chuckling. “Two minutes later and he would have had a real show.”

  Darcy continued to giggle, and then she wiped her eyes. “I guess I should have locked up when they left.”

  Erin put a hand on her hip, pretending to be put out. “So you were planning this all along?”

  Darcy laughed. “Of course. I’ve been trying to get you alone for a while now.”

  Erin grinned at her, amused. She’d thought Darcy was flirting on a couple of occasions today, but she hadn’t been sure. “Oh, you were, were you?”

  “Yes.” Darcy’s face was serious now, her voice quiet. “I find you very attractive, Erin. That should be obvious by now.”

  Erin experienced a momentary thrill of triumph, but the feeling faded almost as quickly as it came. Darcy was beautiful—stunning—but she was also dangerous. Just judging from their own minimal interactions, she was changeable, unreliable. Erin had already seen her coldness and indifference to others’ pain, including her own. Was this really someone to get involved with? At the very least, it would be awkward for the rest of the time she and Charlie were here. It wasn’t as if they would suddenly become lovey-dovey with each other like Jen and Charlie. How would they act around each other? As if nothing had happened? Erin didn’t think she could. If they had sex, Erin’s world would become a thousand times more complicated and confusing, and she didn’t need that.

  Darcy got to her feet and came closer, her face wrinkled with what seemed to be concern. She took Erin’s hands. “What is it? You look…I don’t know, scared?”

  Erin shook her head. “Not quite. I don’t know what I’m feeling. But I’m starting to regret something we haven’t even done, and I don’t think that’s a good sign.”

  Darcy frowned slightly and released her hands. They stood that way for a long time, gazing into each other’s eyes.

  Finally, Darcy nodded. “You’re right. It might be a dumb thing to do.”

  Relief flooded through her. “Not that I don’t want to! But yes…”

  “It would be a bad idea. I’ll be gone soon, and I’m sure we don’t need any,” Darcy paused, “complications.”

  Neither of them moved, both seeming to wait for the other to make the final decision. For a moment, Erin almost pulled her into another kiss. Her desire, which had died down significantly in the last few minutes, was still there, roiling underneath the damper she’d thrown over it. It would be back instantly if Darcy gave any indication she was ready to act on it.

  Finally, Darcy broke eye contact and turned away, going to the small kitchen sink and grabbing a rag. “I think we spilled some beer. I’ll clean up while you get ready for bed.”

  Still, Erin hesitated. She watched Darcy move around the room, bending down and standing up again as she cleaned. Erin’s temptation was so strong she had to fight an urge to rush over to embrace her. She closed her eyes, took one deep breath, and then grabbed her little bag of toiletries before heading into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her, resting her forehead on it for a moment, breathing heavily. Finally, she turned toward the sink to brush her teeth.

  Once in bed, she tossed and turned, both overheated and worked up, her mind whirling with regret. Finally, when the light outside started to turn the fuzzy purple of dawn, she fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.

  * * *

  Erin could barely move her head the next morning without feeling sick. When everyone met outside by the car, Charlie and Jen seemed a little shamefaced, too, so the entire ride down to Loveland was awkward, tense, and painful. Erin kept her sunglasses on the whole time, barely speaking to anyone, and by the time they arrived at the brewery, she was ready to burst from suppressed anxiety. She popped out of the car almost the moment Charlie parked and rushed toward the brewery before Jen called out to her.

  “Jeez, Erin, you could at least say good-bye.”

  Erin had to stop and take a deep breath to keep from shouting at her, but she managed to plaster a smile on her face and turn around. She walked the few steps and shook Charlie’s hand. “Sorry, Charlie, just anxious to get to work. I need to do about a million things today. Thanks so much for the trip. It was…fun.”

  Erin was so embarrassed she hadn’t met Darcy’s eyes all morning. Still, she couldn’t help but glance her way once in parting. Darcy, however, wasn’t paying attention to her. Instead, she was looking at something behind her, in the direction of the brewery, and when Erin turned her head to follow the direction of her gaze, she was surprised to see Darcy staring at her sister Lydia. Lydia was standing next to some guy Erin didn’t recognize. Lydia was working the opening shift today and was clearly waiting for them. Darcy seemed unhappy, angry even, at the sight of her, and Erin wondered what the hell that meant. She was about to ask, but Jen was suddenly there, giving Darcy a light hug.

  “It was so nice to hang out with you yesterday, Darcy. Thanks for keeping my sister occupied.”

  Erin was amused to see both Jen and Darcy blush. Erin didn’t think Charlie had told Jen what he’d seen last night, so both of them were thinking about different things, but for the first time that day, Erin almost laughed.

  “We need to get going, Jen.”

  Jen sighed. “Okay, Erin. Jeez. Go let Lydia in, and I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Knowing Jen wanted a good-bye moment with Charlie, Erin excused herself and went over to the front door. Lydia and the man she was with were leaning against the glass windows, and Erin had to suppress the urge to yell at both of them—they were leaving a smudge. Lydia seemed washed out and pale, as if, like Erin, she’d been up all night. The man she was with had shoulder-length, dirty hair and threadbare clothes. Erin had the impression she’d seen him before, but she couldn’t place him.

  “Took you guys long enough,” Lydia said.

  Erin glanced at her watch. “We don’t open for ten minutes.”

  Lydia rolled her eyes. “You’re the one that always yells at me if I’m not thirty minutes early, Erin.”

  Erin sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. We should have been here half an hour ago.” She looked over at the man. “Who’s this?”

  Lydia smiled. “This is my boyfriend, Geo. We met at Oktoberfest.”

  “What’s up?” the man said. He didn’t hold out a hand to shake, so Erin didn’t offer hers. She remembered him now. He and his punk-rock friends had come in to drink during Oktoberfest, and Lydia had been mooning over them all night. She’d disappeared with them, but as far as Erin knew, that had been the last of it. Apparently not.

  “Hi,” Erin said. “Nice to meet you.”

  As she turned to unlock the door, Lydia and Geo embraced, and Erin kept her eyes firmly in front of her to give them privacy. Once inside, she glanced back a single time to see both of her sisters in their respective lovers’ arms. Darcy was leaning against the side of Charlie’s car, arms crossed over her chest, bored or impatient. Erin continued to watch her for a moment, and a momentary sting of longing pierced her. She dismissed it immediately. The last thing she needed was to get involved with someone who lived so far away. She’d made the right decision last nigh
t. The same could obviously not be said of her sisters. Both of them were headed for heartache and pain. The only question now was when.

  Chapter Seven

  The Northern Colorado Brewing Festival is held in Fort Collins at the end of October. Most of the breweries in attendance submitted two types of beers for a competition between themselves. The competition and festival were open to the public, which was queried on preferences and tastes, but the public’s opinion accounted for only 40 percent of the total score submitted for each beer. A panel of judges blind-tested the beers at a special event before the public festival, and they determined the bulk of the score.

  Last year, BSB had been a fifth runner-up in the porter category, but their second beer had been completely ignored. This year, Erin had decided to submit their porter again, in part because she thought it much improved over last year’s recipe. After a lot of debate, they’d also submitted their gose in the fruit-and-sour category. Jen had a lot of reservations about using the gose, since it was so unusual, but Erin had argued that its strangeness would make it stand out. It remained to be seen whether the gamble would work. The winners would be announced that afternoon.

  Jen and Erin had worked overtime in the week preceding the competition, trying to manage both their regular work at the brewery and the setup for the competition. Erin had wanted to man the booth at the festival herself, with one or two helpers, but Jen had wisely—and perhaps cunningly—suggested that they use two of their employees with an All-American attractiveness that served them well in the taproom. It had been a good strategy, as the brewery had been so busy that Erin and Jen hadn’t had time to go to the festival until the last afternoon. Also, by all measures, the two employees managing the booth had been a success, as Erin had needed to take keg after keg of their beers up there for tasting. She’d taken the last of them this morning, deciding that if they ran out today, the public votes they’d already received would simply have to do. She’d returned to Loveland for a couple of hours to work, and then she and Jen finally managed to head up to the festival together for the last afternoon and the announcement of the winners.

  They got out of Jen’s little Beetle several blocks from the festival warehouse, and Erin was struck not only by how many cars were here, but also by the large number of people she could see heading inside. Given that it was Sunday afternoon, she’d expected the crowds to have thinned out by now, but, if anything, there were more people here than yesterday. She felt a little tremor of anticipation, suddenly terrified that she’d made poor choices with her beer selections for this weekend. While beer connoisseurs might like the nutty malts of their porter or the biting tang of the gose, neither one was really what one might call a people’s beer. Though public opinion was only 40 percent of the vote, if they completely bombed out with the public, they wouldn’t even make the top ten in either category.

  As if sensing her anxiety, Jen pushed her arm. “Hey, Erin, lighten up. You look like someone died.”

  Erin laughed. “Not someone—something. My career.”

  Jen stopped and waited until Erin turned to her. “What are you talking about? This kind of thing can only help us—you know that. Lots of people that come here learn about our beer for the first time. Even last year, when we didn’t really stand a chance of winning, we managed to generate a lot of new customers because we competed.”

  Erin nodded, and they continued toward the warehouse together. Near the door, they saw Lydia and her boyfriend Geo waiting for them, and for a moment, Erin’s annoyance replaced her nervousness. She and Jen had dressed up a little today, just in case they won and were called to the stage and, in general, because they wanted to look professional as they walked around the festival. Lydia and Geo wore ratty, faded, black clothes, and both of them were pale and sickly. Lydia had lost some weight recently, and Erin wondered if she was sick or simply not sleeping well. She’d been calling into work a lot lately—not that that was anything new—but now Erin wondered if she might actually have a reason for her absences.

  “Hey, girls,” Geo said, lifting a hand in a halfhearted wave.

  Erin had to stop herself from snapping out a response. She hated it when anyone, especially men, called grown women “girls.” Jen saved her by warmly greeting both of them and giving Lydia a quick hug.

  “Are you feeling okay?” Jen asked as she pulled away. “You’re burning up.” She held a hand on her forehead, and Lydia pushed it away, obviously annoyed.

  “Stop it, Mom. I’m fine. Just getting over a cold.”

  Jen continued to peer at her closely, clearly concerned, and Erin felt moderately better about her earlier judgement. She wasn’t the only one who saw the changes in Lydia’s appearance and demeanor. While she was never the most reliable employee, she liked getting a paycheck, and she used to keep her absenteeism under control—once or twice a week, tops. Now that Erin thought about it, she couldn’t actually remember the last time Lydia had come to work, and when she had come sometime last week, she’d been late. All of this had happened since she started dating Geo, and Erin suspected it all stemmed from him.

  Lydia sighed, clearly becoming annoyed. “Can we just get going already? I don’t know about you, but I actually wanted to drink some beer today.”

  Geo rubbed his hands together. “Yeah, man, me, too.”

  Jen and Erin shared a quick glance, and Erin shrugged. It wasn’t the time or place to get into it, but they would need to talk about whatever was going on. Jen raised her shoulders, and the four of them turned toward the festival entrance.

  Each brewery received only two special brewers’ passes into the festival, so Erin had to pay for both Lydia and Geo to attend. The entrance fee for drinkers was quite expensive. Neither one agreed to be a designated driver, who could get in for free—so Erin had to cough up fifty dollars for each of them.

  The noise inside was nearly deafening, and Erin estimated at least a couple of thousand people were here. The event used to be held outside, but with Colorado weather so fickle, after it had been postponed a couple of years in a row because of storms, the organizers had decided to move it inside. With the autumn as warm as this one, it was a shame to be inside today, and Erin sighed, remembering how much nicer the festival had been when held outside in the park and streets near Old Town.

  Lydia and Geo almost immediately disappeared into the crowd, neither one of them thanking or acknowledging Erin for paying their entrance fee. She and Jen shared another look, but, like outside, this wasn’t the time or place to talk. Fighting the crowds, they made their way back to their booth, and by the time they got there, they were stunned and amazed to realize that the longest line they’d seen was for BSB.

  “Holy shit!” Jen said. “Look at all the people!”

  “No kidding,” Erin said. “What the hell?”

  “Why don’t we ask someone in line? Why they’re waiting, I mean.”

  Erin nodded, and they walked over to a young couple, both of whom smiled as they approached.

  “Hi,” Erin said. “How are you?”

  “Good,” the man said, still smiling.

  Erin cleared her throat, suddenly nervous. This guy didn’t know who they were, and she didn’t want to give herself away as the brewer. She indicated the long line in front of him. “What are you waiting for?”

  “Only the best beer in the whole place,” the woman said, grinning widely.

  Erin flushed with pleasure. “Have you had it before?”

  “Yeah,” the man said, “a couple of hours ago. Then we walked around and tried some others, but both of us wanted some more BSB.”

  “Really?” Jen asked.

  “It’s really good,” he said. “I like the gose, and she likes the porter.”

  “Wow,” Erin said, still stunned. “It must be really good if you’re willing to stand in this line.”

  “Totally worth it,” the man in front of them said.

  “Absolutely,” a woman from behind piped up.

  “Maybe
I’ll get in line, then,” Erin said.

  “You should,” the woman from the couple said. “Rumor has it they’re almost out of the porter.”

  “Already?” Erin said, glancing at her watch. She’d dropped off the kegs a little over two hours ago.

  The woman grinned. “Exactly. If I don’t get some more today, I’m going to drive down to the brewery and get it—it’s really that good.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” Erin said.

  She and Jen moved away from the line, both of them grinning like fools. Erin had long thought that she and Jen made some of the best beer in the region, but this was one of the first times she’d seen that other people thought the same thing.

  “So what do you want to do until the announcement?” Jen asked.

  Erin turned toward her to answer and saw that Jen was peering around them, almost wildly, as if searching for something. Or someone, Erin thought.

  “Do you want to go find Charlie?” Erin asked.

  Jen stared at her, and her skin turned a rosy shade of pink. Erin laughed. “You’re not exactly subtle, Jen. You can go look for him if you want to. I’ll talk to some of the other brewers.”

  Jen smiled, and then her expression faded a little. “I don’t want to leave you on your own. Why don’t you come with me?”

  “I don’t want to be a third wheel.”

  “You won’t be—I promise. Anyway, you know more about the beers than I do. I’m sure Charlie will be interested to hear what you have to say about them.” She paused. “And Darcy’s here with him anyway. If anything, you’ll save her from being a third wheel.”

  Erin went hot with embarrassment. She’d been trying not to think about what had happened with Darcy last week and had done a fairly decent job avoiding her. They’d seen each other a few times in passing, but Erin hadn’t said more than necessary—just quick greetings or good-byes. Every time she thought about that night in the cabin, she felt foolish and ridiculous. She should never have let herself get into that situation, no matter how long it had been since she had sex or how physically attractive she found Darcy. She could blame it on the alcohol, and had tried, but something like loneliness had made her stupid that night. She’d been a little fragile, yes, feeling like she’d been left behind by Jen and Lottie, but that didn’t excuse her actions. Darcy was a ticket to heartache, and she had to avoid her.