The following messages are from Ally screaming that she can’t believe she’s best friend with the woman on EMZ with the world’s most popular rock star. I load up my laptop while Ally rattles on about calling her back. EMZ has tons of pictures of me and Brayden on their site. They have us entering the restaurant the first night we met and one of us eating once inside. From the angle of the picture it must have been taken by the two women that noticed us when we walked in.
The most recent picture they have is of us embracing less than an hour ago in front of Waldorfs. The headline to that picture reads, ‘Socialite Kerrington Mills breaks Rock-stars heart in crushing good-bye.’ Brayden is gripping my face desperately and the angle of the camera shows the sadness in his expression perfectly. I never understood why the press loved to paint me as the evil one in all situations. When I caught Jeremy with that woman the press had claimed, ‘I chased him into the arms of another with my icy demeanor’.
Coincidently, Jeremy voice booms through my machine, ‘Kerri what the fuck is going on? How can you do this to me? Everyone has seen these pictures of you and that man. Is this about payback? This is very petty of you.
I hit delete on the machine before he can finish. Everything in the world of Jeremy was always about him, I couldn’t possibly be happy with someone else. To him this was about revenge. I no longer cared enough about Jeremy to try to make him jealous. He’s way off my radar, overshadowed by the bright beam of light that is Brayden Quinn.
After gushing to Ally about my amazing weekend with Brayden I eat dinner alone, sulking on my couch wishing I could wrap my body around Brayden’s while we watch another movie together. I drift into a restless sleep, woken by my phone ringing an hour later. I quickly answer when I see his name on the display.
“Did I wake you?” he asks in that unmistakable accent.
“Yes, but I’m happy you did. I needed to hear your voice. How’s Philadelphia?”
“Lonely, I left the sexiest brunette I ever met in New York.”
“I know the feeling I let the sexist Irishman I’ve ever met slip through my fingers.”
“Trust me, you still have me firmly in your grasp.” I hear a knock come through the phone. “I got to go love, Mandy’s at the door.”
“Wait,” I snap. “Are you dressed?”
“Would you like me to get undressed for you?” he chuckles over the line.
“I’m serious Brayden. Yesterday you paraded your naked ass and much more in front of that woman.”
He chuckles, “Kerri please, Mandy is like one of the guys. She’s always bursting into our dressing rooms, it’s nothing. She’s seen us all naked.”
It’s impossible to make him see how much she wants him; he’s blinded by their long-time friendship so I have to play another hand. “Would you like me walking around naked in front of my male friends? Maybe Angelo?” I quip.
His sharp intake of breath confirming my point is made. “I get it, I’ll cover it up around her if it makes you uncomfortable.” The knocking at the door turns into banging. “I got to go before she breaks the door down, call you tomorrow ok?”
“Ok,” I answer hearing the line go dead.
I drink a glass of wine and curl up under my cool sheets alone.
An hour later my phone buzzes, I glance at the screen a little surprised to see a text from Chase.
Hey Beautiful, was thinkin of you
Why would u b thinkin of me Chase
I don’t know but I can’t stop
Well stop!
I power my phone off wondering why Chase’s texts were getting to me. He’s been sending me flirty text all week. What he’s trying to do to Brayden is wrong and I just don’t understand why he would want to hurt his friend. But even knowing how wrong it is a little part of me is thrilled that Chase feels anything towards me.
I toss and turn for a while before falling asleep, dreaming about my dark haired rock star and oddly, a certain blonde haired drummer.
******
I keep my head up as I walk into Mills Headquarters the next morning. I used up a couple personal days in order to spend the last two days with Brayden. The curious and resentful stares I receive as I stroll into the elevator unnerve me. I hate that people judge me, thinking I got this job because I’m daddy’s little girl. They couldn’t be further from the truth. I spent all my college years interning here while maintaining a 3.8 GPA. My dad loves me but doesn’t play favorites when it comes to his business.
I usually ignore the negative energy thrown my way but today’s different; today their judging my relationship with Brayden, tainting it with their false assumptions. When the news of what Jeremy did to me hit the papers the looks of pity were mixed with satisfied smirks. If I couldn’t get used to the attention that came with being a Mills I’d need a psych evaluation. So I developed my icy demeanor. It’s a public façade, a mask to safeguard me from people who fed on my emotional reactions.
I open my office door to find my father sitting behind my desk. Great, the perfect start to an already fucked-up day. Don’t get me wrong my Dad is great as a Dad but going by the look on his face, he isn’t here for an 'I miss my little girl' visit. Today he’s my boss and he’s pissed.
“Sit,” he says. When Nicholas Mills commands, people drop everything to accommodate him. I set my briefcase down and sit opposite of him.
“You’ve been busy this weekend,” he states. I nod my head, averting his intimidating glare. “What’s the first lesson of business I taught you?”
“Never let your personal life interfere with business,” I mumble.
“You didn’t show up to work for two days, then pictures of you carrying on around the city with that singer surfaces. How do you think that makes you look as a top executive at this company?”
I don’t know what to say so opt to remain silent. In many ways he’s right but he’ll never understand that I was capturing my one chance at happiness. His relationship with my mom is more business-like than love based. She attends functions and keeps his life well organized while he provides her the status and lifestyle she craves.
“You’re an asset to this company but the next time you pull a stunt like this you’re fired.” He walks to the door and pauses with his hand on the doorknob, “and call your mother, she’s driving me crazy with her ranting and raving.” He exits leaving the door open behind him.
Half way through the day the instant messenger pops up on my screen. I’m not surprised to see a message from Chase. He’s been slowly worming his way into my life with his texts and messages.
Instant message between Chase and Kerri:
Chase-me49: How’s work?
KMills: other than being scolded by my father, it’s great
Chase-me49: Why’d u get in trouble?
KMills: Skipped work to b with Brayden
Chase-me49: Yeah I haven’t seen him much, he’s being distant
KMills: Why?
Chase-me49: He knows I want u
KMills: U shouldn’t want your best friend’s girl
Chase-me49: U wouldn’t understand
KMills: Understand what Chase?
Chase-me49: That it shouldn’t b this way
KMills: What do u mean!?
Chase-me49: U with Bray and me on the side
KMills: How should it b??
The screen remains blank for five minutes and I wish he would just say something. Then he finally responds.
Chase-me49: Forget it. I’ll leave u alone
My heart tightens at his message but I know it’s for the best if we keep our distance. I don’t want to hurt Brayden. I throw myself into my work leaving satisfied with my somewhat productive day. I text Brayden on the taxi ride home from work.
Miss you. Call me after your concert. No matter the time.
I meant that when I sent it. Unfortunately I fell asleep at eleven-thirty missing his phone call. My phone reads two missed calls and one text when I open the screen the next morning.
Sor
ry I missed ur text beautiful. Call me when u get this. No matter the time…No really, no matter the time.
Of course he doesn’t forget to add a laughing emoji at the end.
He answers on the second ring, his voice groggy from sleep, “If it isn’t the beautiful lady Kerrington. I’ve been waiting all night to hear your voice.”
“Sorry about last night I feel asleep, how was your show?”
“You know, screaming women throwing their panties at me. No beautiful, indifferent ladies ignoring me in the front row,” he snickers.
“That girl was an idiot, she almost missed out on a chance of a lifetime.” I reply honestly. I put him on speakerphone while I get ready for work. We talk until I step through the doors of Mills headquarters where I reluctantly say goodbye and step into business mode.
Soon as I power up my computer, Chase pops up. He texted me last night to say good night but I ignored him hoping he would back off. I wish I could brush him off but I always find myself responding to him.
Chase-me49: r u pissed at me
KMills: No
Chase-me49: you never texted me back
KMills: I thought you said u would leave me alone
Chase-me49: Is that what u really want
KMills: I don’t know Chase
KMills: It’s what I should want
Chase-me49: I missed u
KMills: I missed ur texts too
Chase-me49: No. I. Missed. You.
KMills: Let’s not do this again
Chase-me49: If that’s what u want
KMills: Can we just b friends
Chase-me49: I’ll try
Chapter 8
I live off Brayden’s phone calls and Chase’s silly texts for two weeks, craving them more than food. On Monday, almost three weeks since he departed, he calls from his hotel room in Ohio.
“Hey, turn on your laptop.” He demands
“Why?” I ask.
“Skype me, I want to see your beautiful face.” I smile quick firing up my laptop.
When his face pops up on my screen I feel giddy. I’m an adolescent girl again and I don’t care because I missed his gorgeous face.
“You look as amazing as I remember,” his eyes twinkling with excitement.
I walk around with my laptop for hours chatting to his computer image. Mid afternoon we end our call so he can go to a business meeting with queen bitch Mandy. He promises to Skype me back later so I take the time to do some laundry and organize my closet. In my rebellious years I revolted against my mother’s strict organizational methods. We had maids and butlers and every possible domestic worker possible but as ladies of the house we were to keep everything tidy.
Last night I finally dared to take a trip to the Manor to visit my mother. It was a big mistake and I wish I had kept my distance.
“I had brunch with Jeremy last week,” She began. “He’s still willing to take you back.” She informs me in her cool matter of fact tone.
“I’m sure he is mom but I’m not.”
She huffs, “Why are you being so difficult. Is it because of that miscreant you’ve been dallying with,” she snaps.
“No mom it’s because he banged some bimbo in my living room.” I don’t even know why I stayed this long. I should have left soon as Jeremy’s name came up. Now she’s insulting Brayden and I’m getting pissed.
“Kerrington darling, you’ve always been such a romantic. Men are unfaithful by nature. You don’t leave a man over something not within their control. You expect far too much. As long as he takes good care of you and keeps his extracurricular activities discreet you and Jeremy can work things out.”
A whole new light just shined on my parents’ marriage. I won’t even let my brain venture into thought of my dad having a mistress. I should be traumatized by this turn in events but I honestly don’t care. I learned a little while ago that what my parents considered a perfect life would never work for me. My mother is seriously demented and dense when it comes to affairs of the heart. I’m seriously considering the fact that she might not have one, or it’s at least frozen solid. I get up quietly gathering my purse and keys.
“I can’t accept your assumptions of what men and relationship are supposed to be. I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than accept less than what I deserve from a man. You’re worth more than the luxuries dad affords you; you deserve love. You just can’t see it.” I turn to leave and collide right into my father’s solid chest. I look up into his face as he stares at my mother.
“I’ll walk you out,” he says. The silence as we walk out the Manor unto the front lawn is awkward. He walks me to the car, watching me fumble with my keys.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on your mother.” He says to my back. My hands stay at his words. “She doesn’t know how to fully accept love from either of us.”
I feel really awful about my dad hearing what I said. My dad has always been my life preserver in this family. As fierce as he was in business at home he was a fiercely loving father. It’s impossible for me to believe the man I watch coddle my mother for all these years is an adulterer.
As a little girl we would take trips every year. Just me and him, my mom wasn’t interested in hiking and fishing. Once we even decided to go to Bali hoping the warm weather and beaches would entice mom but she refused. Apparently she had previous engagements that just couldn’t be rescheduled.
That vacation turned out to be our best. We went snorkeling, rafting, climbing and still had time to lounge on the beach. I was sixteen and perfectly content watching the sunset behind Pura Ulun Danu Bratan, while my friends spent spring break on Daytona beach. He taught me what life is like outside of the Manor. I was his little girl and he taught me that I was worth more than anything else he had in this world.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her. I’m sorry daddy,” I wrap my arm around his back, enjoying the safety I always feel in his arms.
“I know sweetheart,” he respond placing a kiss on the top of my head. “And for the record, I’ve never cheated on your mom. She just won’t let her heart believe otherwise.”
He leaves me standing in the driveway watching him disappear into the house. I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Knowing the one man I’ve loved with all my heart my entire life wasn’t living a double life was a relief. Thoughts of a secret family with brothers and sisters I’d never met had begun cumulating in my mind.
******
I finish organizing the hodgepodge that is my closet thinking maybe my mother is on to something when it comes to tidiness. I lay on my bed eating ding dongs with my laptop open anticipating Brayden’s call. Chase texts me and I’m glad I’ll have something to do while I wait for Brayden.
What r u doin?
Waitin for Brayden to Skype me
Mandy keeps him busy. Skype me. I want to see ur face.
Very bad idea. I feel safe when we communicate through text. Like I’m not crossing any lines. If I look into his face I know I’ll feel things that I shouldn’t be. As much as I know it’s wrong once the option to see his face is in front of me I take it.
When his face finally pops up on my screen I’m in mid bite looking like a total pig. He shakes head and wags his finger at me in disapproval. “How do you eat all that junk and stay so sexy?”
“I’ll have you know I do a lot of yoga and I deserve this treat.” I stick my tongue out at him-childish. God he looks better than I remember. His hair is sticking out in every direction and it only makes him look hotter. I notice Brayden’s jacket hanging on the rack behind him.
“Are you sharing a room with Brayden?” I ask. He smiles at me and looks behind him.
“I always share a room with Bray, even when he’s pissed at me for wanting his girl.”
“You two are pretty close, huh?” I feel like shit for coming between them.
“He’s my only family. I see that look on your face Kerri. Brayden and I will be fine so stop thinking you’re a problem for us.” He licks his lips
in the same way Brayden does and I wonder if he would be as good with his tongue as Brayden.
“You just got that ‘I’m horny come fuck me’ Chase look on your face.” He arches an eyebrow and laughs at me.
“I did not.”
“You know it would be really good right?” His smile disappears and is replaced with a look of longing.
“What would be good?” I play dumb because I want to hear him say it.
“It would be good when I lick you till you come then fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to scream my name.”
Holy shit, I think my panties just caught in fire. Hot liquid pools between my legs and I have to squeeze my legs together to relieve some of the ache.
“We need to talk about something else Chase.” I say, I can’t handle any more dirty talk from those sexy lips.
“Fine. Do you have scramble with friends on your phone?” he asks, waving his phone at the screen.
“No”
“Download it now so we can play.”
“Are you serious Chase?”
“Come on it will be fun. It’s either that or I show you how hard you made me.”
I downloaded the game quickly because if he whips his cock out we would defiantly be crossing that line. We play for an hour before Ally shows up and I hang up with Chase to have a girl’s night in.
******
Brayden calls me the next morning and apologizes for not calling me back. As the front man of the band Mandy has him on a busier schedule than any of the other guys.
“So how was your meeting?” I ask him.
“Boring, I kept looking at my watch wanting to get back here to see your face. Then I got to thinking maybe you could come spend a couple days on tour with me?” his eyes beg me to say yes.
“I can’t just up and leave work; I already got myself into some deep shit for missing a couple days when you were here.” My heart aches to scream yes and jump on a plane without a backwards glance. I know I won’t do it. I hate to disappoint my dad.
“How about for the weekend?” Oh, this is well thought out; how can I turn him down now. The only problem resides in me being able to return on time. The temptation to stay with him will be insurmountable.
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