“Gunnar! Down!” one of the men shouts.
“Hey, you’re up. Are you all right?” The other guy walks toward me.
“I… I don’t know.” My eyes quickly dart from him to the big black bundle of fur lying on the floor. It’s not a bear. That wouldn’t have made any sense. It’s a dog. The biggest dog I’ve ever seen.
“Hey, I’m Derek, okay? But I go by Razor. You can put down the poker, we’re not going to hurt you.” He soothes me, holding his hands up to show me they’re empty.
I stare into his crystal blue eyes and see nothing menacing in them. Just honesty and concern. Spinning my head around to the other man, I see he’s got more of a smirk twisted up on his lips. His gray eyes are dancing with amusement at my little show. Not in a sinister way, just like this is the best entertainment he’s seen in a while.
Well, it is Alaska. It probably is the most interesting thing he’s watched for quite some time. Except maybe my naked body. The thought intrudes my mind and makes me cringe.
“Where am I and how did I get here?” I want to sound tough. Like there’s a chance these two would regret messing with me, if that was their intention. Instead, my voice comes out warbly.
“Hey, how about you give me the poker.” Razor eases toward me like a cop on one of those shows where they’re trying to talk calm and gain the trust of the guy pointing a gun at someone’s head. “I’m sure you’re hungry, right? We’ve got some warm caribou stew you can eat and we can fill you in, sound good?” He takes another step.
I grip the poker tighter, but my stomach growls as loud as a plane engine coming to life and I ease up on my grasp. Food does sound good. I’m not sure when I ate last, but my body is telling me it’s been a while.
“Fine.” I hand over the wrought-iron and decide to trust my intuition. It’s telling me these guys don’t intend to turn this into a horror movie.
“Great.” Razor smiles and all I can do is blink.
I must look like I’m trying to communicate with him in Morse code. It’s just that he’s so distractingly handsome. They both are. Razor has a boyish charm about him, with his freckles and bright blue eyes. If it weren’t for the grizzled scruff over his strong jaw, he’d look too young for me. The other guy is tall and brooding with sandy hair and striking gray eyes, I’ve never really seen that color before. It reminds me of late nights around the campfire when the coals finally give off their last burst of heat and all that is left is the soft gray ashes and the memories.
“Here you go.” The nameless man ladles some stew into a bowl for me and places it on a large wood table. It looks like it must have been handcrafted, which is nothing new out in the Alaskan wilderness. What is new is the level of detail that’s in it. Carvings of polar bears and moose sprawl down the large legs.
“Thanks.” I practically lunge at the seat and dive into the food. I feel like I haven’t eaten in a week. The truth is, I have no idea if it’s been that long or not. There’s nothing in here to help me get a sense of the time and out the window is just a wild storm whipping snow around.
After I devour the entire bowl, the gnawing in my gut finally eases enough that I can concentrate again.
“So, like I said, I go by Razor.” He smiles and I can’t help but return it, despite my hesitation. “And the rude one, not introducing himself over there, he goes by Ace.” He jerks his thumb to the dark-haired man.
“Hey, I’m the one who fed her. Give me a break, will ya?” Ace answers, shaking his head. “Always gotta be busting my balls, man.”
It’s easy to see that they’re close. The banter between them reminds me of how my ex-husband used to be with his brother.
“I’m Caitlin.” I remember that I still haven’t told them my name yet.
“Nice to have a name with the face that’s been sleeping in my bed for the past twenty-four hours.” Razor watches me like he’s taking notes.
“I’ve been out that long?” I squeak. “How did I get here? What happened?”
“Want another bowl of stew?” Ace interrupts and the rumble in my stomach makes me nod in agreement.
He fills it back up and I dig in, but I actually eat it like a person this time, not like I was raised by wolves.
“Your plane crashed,” Ace answers my hanging question bluntly. I gasp and choke on some food, sputtering for my breath. I manage to get it under control before anyone has to come help me out.
“Qilaq, is she salvageable?”
“What’s that?” Ace raises his eyebrows.
“My plane, can I fix her?”
“Oh that, no there’s zero chance of that happening.” He laughs and I fight back tears.
“Hey, it’s okay. The main thing is you’re alive. This all could have ended much worse, right?” Razor walks to my side and lays a comforting hand on my shoulder as he shoots his friend a look.
“I guess.” I sigh and stare down into the stew. “So, you guys rescued me?”
“We pulled you from the wreckage and you were unconscious so we got you back here and tended to you. Razor is an ex-military medic.” He nods at the man standing next to me.
“SEAL medic,” he corrects Ace and then looks at me. “We were both SEALs, we retired up here. So, you can trust us okay. We’re the good guys.” He flashes another one of those grins and I find myself smiling back as my cheeks flush with heat.
“Wait,” I give my head a shake and look from Ace’s gray eyes and crisply shaved face to Razor’s sky-blue ones, “if my plane crashed and I was knocked out, why didn’t you guys get help?”
8
Ace
“Get hellllp?” I stress the word sarcastically. “Oh shit, I knew we forgot something. Razor, why did we just hole this girl up in our cabin without trying to get help.” I pretend to knock the meat of my palm against my forehead like those old V8 commercials just to add to the theatrics.
Caitlin isn’t amused.
Her lips twist down and I watch a storm roll in over her hazel eyes. She wears every emotion on her face, it’s impossible to look away. Like when she came out here with the poker, I’m guessing she thought she looked tough or intimidating. Not like a frightened child trying to scurry into their mother’s bed after a clap of thunder.
I shouldn’t laugh at her fear, not even just inside. I can understand how she’d be freaked out to wake up in a strange bed and then find two big guys she doesn’t know waiting for her in the kitchen. Still, the way her thoughts seem to play out in every expression she wears, well, it’s a lot more interesting to keep my eyes on her than Razor, I’ll say that.
“We did try to radio for help,” Razor reassures her. If you ask me, he’s enjoying talking her off a ledge. Damsels in distress always were his type.
I roll my eyes and sigh, but then stop myself. Caitlin doesn’t actually strike me as the damsel type. I mean, now that I think about it, her coming out here to square off with us might have made me laugh, but it was also pretty brave. A damsel type would’ve tried to do something a lot more stupid. Like hop out the window in her nightgown and try to run away.
“There’s a huge storm coming down.” I point to the window. “No planes are coming in or out for a week. We were told to keep you comfortable and try our best to keep you alive, and we did,” I cut to the point.
“Well, thank you for that.” She sounds genuinely grateful. Her shoulders relax and she finishes up her stew but then that cloud rolls in over her eyes again, turning them from sweet honey to the dark, serious brown of a strong cup of morning coffee. She furrows her brows and looks down at the table.
“What now?” I can see the question forming in her mind, but I don’t know what it is.
She twists up her long, silky hair and then lets it fall over her slender shoulder, where it hangs down over her perky breasts. I force my eyes to travel back up to her face. Not that I mind. Her striking beauty is only more hypnotic now that she’s awake. The way her eyelids flutter her lashes as she searches for her words. The way the corner of her f
ull lips twitch. The way the pink blush kisses her round face. It’s impossible to look away.
“Why am I in my nightgown?” She looks up from the table quickly and then back down, like she’s not sure she really wants to know.
“That would be his doing.” I point at Razor, tossing him under the bus as he gives me a pointed glare. “He said you needed some bandaging up.”
“You did,” he explains, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “If you check your ribs, you’ll see you have some minor scrapes. Same story on your shins. Your other clothes were all bloody, so I changed you into something comfortable and washed them.” Pink stains the tips of his ears, making him look like that same little kid that stuttered as he tried to explain how the hundreds of newspapers ended up behind the old run-down house when we were young.
“Oh.”
That’s all she says, but I can hear the relief in her voice. Razor shoots me another pointed look telling me wordlessly that I’m an asshole and I give him a grin to let him know I’m okay with that.
I don’t mean to laugh. I know this is overwhelming for her and all that. Still, something about this small, beautiful woman taking us to task just gives me a kick. The laughter just sort of escapes my mouth and they both look at me like I’m the worst kind of person.
Maybe I am.
“And what were you doing while your friend undressed me? Watching?” She sniffs at me as an angry hue of red splashes over her cheeks.
I narrow my eyes and grit my teeth. “Listen, lady, I’ve never been desperate enough in my life to spy on some unsuspecting woman, and I didn’t start with you. Sorry to burst your bubble, princess, but I’m not into unconscious girls, and I’m definitely not into being accused of shit I would never do.” I spit out my words like venom and don’t even feel bad when I watch her eyes grow wide with fear.
Who the fuck does she think she is? I’ve given her no reason to think I’m that kind of man.
“Well, I just…” she starts to sputter.
“You know what? I’ve heard enough. If you’ll fucking excuse me, I’m going to go get some wood outside. ’Cause, you know, I’m such a piece of shit, I go out of my way to make sure that you don’t freeze to death.” I storm out of the kitchen and over to the front door.
I don’t even bother zipping up my coat, I just fling it on and step into my boots and slam the heavy wood door behind me. The wind is cold and whipping around me as snowflakes melt against my skin. Perfect, I need to cool down, and there’s no place like Alaska in the winter to do that.
But if I’m honest with myself, it’s not just my anger that’s keeping me fired up inside. Deep down, Caitlin has stirred something in me. As I walk over to the woodpile and begin to grab an armful of kindling, my anger subsides, but a different kind of heat still burns like embers in my belly. I try to push it away or ignore it, but it won’t cool off as quickly. But then, desire never does.
9
Caitlin
The cabin windows rattle as Ace slams the door behind him. I can almost hear the ground outside thunder as he takes each angry footstep across the snow. When I can’t see him out the window anymore, I glance up at Razor. His boyish charm has slipped away now and been replaced by a sad, disappointed stare. His lips are tugged down in the corners and his blue eyes have grown solemn. He runs his hand over his short beard and looks from me to the door and back again.
“Hey, so, I can see you’re feeling defensive right now, and I get it.” He holds up his hands to me like he’s surrendering. “I can only imagine how vulnerable you must feel being a beautiful woman who woke up in a strange bed only to find out that you’re in a cabin owned by two guys and one of them changed your clothes.” He sighs like he’s utterly exhausted. “Totally understandable, okay?”
I nod, feeling about three inches tall. Even if he did say I’m beautiful and make my heart flutter for a second, the way he’s talking to me makes me feel like a puppy that pissed on the floor or a kid that stole some pocket change out of their mother’s purse. It’s that old “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” tone that my father used to use on me. It was always ten times more effective than any amount of yelling or punishment was.
“However, like I already told you, we’re not bad guys. We’re people you can trust, Caitlin. That comment you just made to Ace was a low-blow. He’s an honorable man. The best guy I know, and after serving in the SEALs that’s saying a lot.”
“I’m sorry.” Heat splashes down the back of my neck and my shoulders slump forward as I pick at an imaginary speck on the table. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I’m not feeling great and I just let my emotions get the better of me,” I admit.
I don’t tell him how it’s hard for me to trust men after my cheating scumbag ex-husband broke my heart. How I’ve spent years trying to harden my heart and control every aspect of my life so I never have to feel that pain again. I don’t confess how all of this feels so far out of my control that it’s terrifying. And I definitely don’t mention how my attraction to them is just making this whole thing even more confusing and out of my control, which makes me want to shut it all down and try to reel it in.
“I know.” Razor gives me a smile, but it’s tight-lipped and forced. My apology hasn’t smoothed everything over magically. I can understand that.
“Thank you for saving my life,” I mutter. I clear my throat and manage to speak a bit louder, “And for giving me a bed to sleep in, and for the food.” As I list off everything the guys have done for me so far, I feel even more like a bitch for what I said.
“No worries.” He smiles again, but it looks less strained this time. “So, how long have you been a pilot? That’s a pretty cool skill to have.” He walks across the kitchen and opens a cupboard door. A line of mugs sits inside. “Would you like a coffee?”
“Coffee? Sure.” I wonder how much of this headache thumping behind my eyes is just from cutting out the caffeine for the past twenty-four hours. I’m the kind of girl that always has a coffee cup in her hand, day and night. I can only imagine that my body must be in some kind of withdrawal. “I learned to fly when I was twelve.” My eyes mist over as I remember that the plane my father and I traveled in, the plane that he willed to me when he died, is completely destroyed. “Qilaq, my little Cessna, I was only a few months old the first time my father took me on a flight in her.”
“Really?” Razor’s eyebrows shoot upward as he pours the coffee into our cups.
“Yeah, obviously I don’t remember that time, but most of my childhood memories seem to revolve around her. My father always said we were sisters.” I give a dry laugh. “I think that was just his way of telling me he loved the plane the same amount he loved me though.” I smile.
“I’m sure that’s not true.” He chuckles. “What do you take in it.” He nods to the mug full of black coffee and I want to leap across the kitchen and grab it from him. My hand trembles, wow, I really am an addict.
“Just black is great.” I stand up to walk over and get it, but my head spins and my knees buckle, plopping my ass back down in the chair. Huh.
“Are you all right?” Razor walks over and studies my face.
“Fine. I’m good, don’t worry.” I brush it off, but I’m not really sure.
He waits beside me for a minute, like he doesn’t fully believe me. Razor’s eyes travel over me, soaking me in. I can feel the heat coming from his body and I fight the urge swelling up inside me to just reach out and grab him. To touch him. I wonder how it would feel? His hands on my body. His lips on my neck. His cock in my…
Okay, yeah, I might be a little out of sorts. This bump on the head has me acting more impulsively than I normally do. Or at least wanting to.
Is that a bad thing? My thoughts whisper in my ear. Would it kill you to live a little?
I flick my fingers by my ear, as if I can actually push the voice nagging me away. Razor takes it as me dismissing his concerns though and he stops studying me so closely, relaxing.
“Thanks.” I hold up the coffee cup to him and then take a long sip of my fix. My eyelids flutter closed and I can’t help the “Mmmm,” that escapes my lips as I swallow down a big mouthful. When I open my eyes back up I can see Razor watching the whole thing with a strange look etched into his face.
“Anytime.” His voice is deeper. A bit gruffer than it was only a second ago. He turns his back on me and clears his throat, running his hand through his dark hair. Grabbing his own coffee, he faces me again and I can see a glint of fire dancing behind his eyes that wasn’t there a moment ago.
“So, you guys were in the SEALs? What made you move up to Alaska?” I shatter the tension in the room and try to get our conversation back on track.
“Hmmm?” He gently blows the steam from over his coffee cup and my mind flashes to him doing the exact same thing over my wet nipple. The image grows stronger and I see Ace, naked and pressed up behind me, tugging my hair back toward him and bruising my lips with a rough kiss.
I’m back to blinking in Morse code again.
“Yeah, Ace and I retired. Well, more like they wanted us out. On our last deployment one of our vehicles blew up and killed almost our entire team of guys. We just needed as much space from all that as possible. Alaska felt like a good fit for a couple guys who needed some distance and a fresh start, you know?”
“I’m really sorry to hear that.” I do understand what he means about starting over here. Although I never moved here. Alaska is where I was born. But I’ve seen enough mainlanders try to begin again up here that I know it’s what people do.
I blink and my eyelids don’t open back up. My mind seems to slip sideways and fall, like someone tripping down a steep hill.
“Hey, are you okay?” Razor’s voice is loud with concern and I manage to snap my eyes back open.
I know they must have been closed for less than five seconds, but I swear I started dreaming.
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