A Wedding at Mulberry Lane

by Rosie Clarke

  Janet’s gaze moved round the crowded bar. It was ages since she’d seen as many people in. Ellie from the hairdresser’s was having fun. She seemed to have picked up a couple of young Army chaps, who were buying her drinks and vying with each other for her attention. Janet wondered what her husband would think if he walked in and saw her knocking back gin and orange like a trouper; she normally only drank a small port and lemon. Still, it wasn’t Janet’s business, even though she suspected the girl was getting in over her head.

  She served a regular with half a pint of beer, but as she turned from the till to serve the next customer, her heart skipped a beat.

  ‘Ryan…’ she said and caught her breath. ‘You didn’t say you were coming…’ Janet had replied to his letter and told him it would be better if he didn’t visit, but seeing him here had knocked the breath from her body and she hardly knew what to say. It was only after the initial shock had worn off that something in Ryan’s eyes warned her that he was under a great deal of stress. ‘Is something wrong?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said tersely. ‘May I speak to you alone?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ She lifted the hinged counter for him to come through. ‘Go to the kitchen and wait. I’ll be there in a few minutes. It’s the call for last drinks so I can’t desert Anne at this time…’

  Ryan nodded grimly and went through the door at the side. He knew his way and Janet tried to ignore the desperation she’d seen in his eyes as she served the customers with last drinks for the evening.

  Once the rush was over, the bar started to empty and she looked at Anne. ‘Can you manage to lock up now?’

  ‘Yes, of course,’ Anne smiled at her. ‘We’re nearly done here. I’ll go out the back after I’ve put the lock on the pub door, Janet.’

  ‘Yes, thanks, a lot, Anne. You’re a pal. I’ll come through and finish clearing up later – and Nellie will wash up anything we leave in the morning…’ She left Anne to it and went through the side door to the kitchen. Ryan was standing in front of the range, his back to her, and she could see the anguish in the set of his shoulders. ‘What’s wrong, Ryan?’ she asked softly and when he turned to face her, she saw the tears trickling down his cheeks. ‘Oh, my dear, something bad has happened – hasn’t it?’ She went to him, her arms going about him and holding him as he suddenly started to sob. ‘Your family…?’

  ‘Dead, all of them,’ Ryan said in a muffled voice against her hair. ‘My wife had fetched the boys home for the Easter holidays and… It was a direct hit on the house.’ He raised his head and she saw the hell in his eyes and felt an intense rush of pain – his pain, because he’d adored his wife and his sons, even if he did feel more than he should for her. ‘It’s a punishment…’ he said at last. ‘It’s my fault because I wanted…’ he choked and couldn’t finish. ‘It’s my fault.’

  ‘No, my dearest; it’s this damned war,’ Janet said and stroked the back of his neck to comfort him, forgetting in the overwhelming sadness and sympathy that she was married to a man she loved and feeling only the forbidden ties that were drawing her in closer to this man. ‘It couldn’t be. You loved them, you still love them – we didn’t do anything wrong: nothing that could hurt them.’

  His eyes were drenched with tears as he met her look of kindness. ‘But I wanted to, Jan. You know that – and so did she. She sensed it somehow and we’d had a tiff over it. I was angry with her and told her she was foolish, but she’d seen your letter in my pocket and she knew…’

  ‘But there was nothing between us.’

  ‘She knew I wanted there to be,’ he said brokenly. ‘I felt such guilt, Jan – as if I’d been having a love affair, which of course in my mind and heart I had.’

  ‘No…’ Janet shook her head. ‘It was just a few foolish thoughts. You would never have done anything to hurt her.’

  ‘Wouldn’t I?’ Ryan looked at her sadly. ‘I think you knew I would, if you gave me the chance. You were the loyal one, Jan – you were the sensible one. You stuck by your husband.’

  ‘Don’t think it was easy to write that letter,’ Janet told him. ‘I know there’s something between us; I’ve felt it too.’

  Ryan gave a moan and then his lips fastened on hers and her arms went up around his neck. Their kiss was long, passionate and with all of Ryan’s desperation in it. He spoke her name over and over against her hair as he continued to hold her close, his whole body shuddering. Jan held him until the shudders passed and then gently pushed him away as she felt the quickening of his need. For a moment she was tempted just to give into his need and her loneliness. It was such a long time since she’d felt the warmth of a man’s love and known the satisfaction of physical love, but then she thought of Mike in hospital and her resolve strengthened. Mike was her husband and she couldn’t betray him.

  ‘No, Ryan, not like this – and not now,’ she said softly. ‘Please don’t think me uncaring, but it shouldn’t happen this way. You’re grieving and I’m not sure – I don’t know what I want yet, and I don’t want it to be like this…’

  Ryan stared at her and mutiny flared in his eyes, but then he inclined his head. ‘Yes, I know, it isn’t right – but you’re not sending me away for good?’

  ‘I’m saying we should wait and see,’ Janet said and touched his cheek. ‘I do care for you very much, Ryan, but I have a husband and he needs me too, even if he doesn’t know it.’

  ‘I’ll go…’ he said and turned to leave, but she caught his arm.

  ‘No, stay and sleep here on the couch. You shouldn’t be alone. I’ll make a hot drink with some brandy in it and we’ll talk. You can’t be alone tonight, Ryan. I’ll talk to you and sit with you, and we’ll share this terrible thing and perhaps it will ease the horror and grief.’

  ‘No wonder I love you,’ he said. ‘We’ll have that hot drink and we’ll talk, but then I’ll go, my dearest. I don’t want to take advantage – though I was ready to just now, but I’m sane again. And that’s because of you.’

  Janet looked at him, and then nodded. She’d known Ryan liked her and fancied her but loving was something more and she didn’t really know how to answer him. Perhaps it was best that she didn’t, because it would be easy to stray and she had to keep faith with Mike, even though he didn’t remember her and seemed not to want her near him.

  Chapter 9

  Peggy opened her eyes and stared in bewilderment at the plush surroundings. Where on earth was she? This wasn’t her room at the pub… Suddenly, she realised that she was in one of the best bedrooms at the Savoy Hotel, where the American top brass had given their dance for British friends. Able had taken her to the lavish affair, where champagne had flowed as freely as it had before the war – however that was possible – and Peggy had got more than a little tipsy on both vintage wine and flattery.

  Able hadn’t been kidding when he’d told her all his friends would want to dance with her. She’d been complimented, called beautiful and swell, and a lot of other flattering things that had made her laugh in a way she hadn’t for ages. It was as if the years had rolled back to when she was young, before she’d met Laurie – except that she’d never been to a place like this or had a dress that made her look like a film star. At least that was what several young officers had told her. Peggy was normally a sensible, level-headed woman, who took compliments in her stride, but either the excitement or the wine went to her head and she’d giggled and teased Able in a way she would never normally have done – and this was where she’d ended up. In bed with a man she hardly knew and feeling rather foolish and a little regretful. It seemed that she’d behaved like an immature girl…

  ‘Hi, beautiful,’ Able’s voice said teasingly and she saw him come in from the adjoining bathroom. ‘How’s the head this morning?’

  ‘Rather delicate,’ she said, realising that she was wearing nothing but the lace French knickers she’d worn under her evening dress, because it had been structured so that she didn’t need a bra. ‘I think I must have had a little too much of that won
derful champagne last night.’

  ‘It was good, wasn’t it?’ Able said and sat on the edge of the bed. ‘I’ve ordered some coffee to be sent up when we’re ready – and it will be drinkable, because we supplied it, as we did the wine last night.’ He leaned in to kiss her on the mouth. ‘You look good even in the mornings, and you taste nice too.’

  ‘I’m sure I look a fright,’ Peggy said. ‘I’m sorry if I made a fool of myself last night. I rarely drink more than one glass of wine in an evening, but it was all so gorgeous, the food and the champagne – and after months of managing on so little, I’m afraid I indulged a little too much…’ She gave an embarrassed laugh.

  ‘You did nothing of the sort,’ Able said and touched her cheek. ‘A lot of you English folk are buttoned up and stand-offish, you know? My friends thought you were natural and lovely – and they all envied me.’

  ‘Oh, Able…’ Peggy sighed. ‘What happened last night? I don’t mind if we made love – but I would rather have known what was going on the first time.’

  He laughed delightedly, and flicked her hair back from her face with his fingers. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you, darling Peggy. I want us both to know all about it when it happens, believe me.’

  ‘We didn’t?’ She looked at him shyly, hardly believing that it hadn’t happened.

  ‘You thanked me very nicely for a lovely evening and then went to sleep like a little kitten. I carried you up here, because you fell asleep on a sofa in one of the rooms downstairs. I must admit I’d hoped for a different ending – but seeing you sleeping so peacefully was kind of cute.’

  ‘After all the trouble you went to, hiring this room and bringing me here…’

  ‘I wanted to give you a nice evening and you were happy; that’s kinda nice, Peggy. I’ve wanted to give you lots of thing; food, coffee, stuff we can still get – but I didn’t want it to look as if I was trying to buy your favours.’ He reached out and touched her hair, letting it slip like silk through his fingers. ‘I think you know I don’t come to the pub just for your great apple pie. I want you – and I think I’ve fallen in love with you, Peggy, but I knew you were married and I didn’t expect you to risk all you have for me, because I don’t think things could stay the same if we became lovers.’

  ‘Oh, Able,’ Peggy said and smiled at him. ‘You’re so nice – no, don’t pull a face. A lot of men don’t have your scruples, and I love your manners.’

  ‘But you still love your husband and you think I just want an affair?’ He arched his brows half mocking, half in entreaty.

  ‘I’m not sure about either of those things,’ Peggy told him truthfully. ‘Laurie went away on government business; you knew that, of course. I can’t talk about it, even though I know so little – but I do know he has someone else… a younger woman who means something to him.’

  ‘He’s a fool to throw away your love,’ Able said. ‘Men are often fools. Yet I don’t think I would have let you go if you were mine.’

  ‘I’m over forty,’ Peggy said. ‘You’ve seen my daughter and my son, and of course my granddaughter… you’re younger and there will be lots of women in your life, Able. If-If we did have an affair I wouldn’t expect it to last forever…’

  ‘Would you mind if it did?’ he asked, looking deeply into her eyes. ‘Supposing that I asked you to leave everything here, and come back home with me when I go? Would that be asking too much, Peggy? I don’t live in a grand mansion, but my Pa left me a property in town; it’s just a small country town in Virginia, but OK. It isn’t a pub, but I guess we could turn part of it into an eating house if you wanted… or we could sell and start a new life over here?’

  ‘It’s too soon to ask a question like that,’ she said. There were a lot of questions she wanted to ask, but this was the first time Able had mentioned his family. She hadn’t liked to probe, but she was going to have to talk to him seriously one of these days. ‘Why don’t you get us that coffee? I need to wash and go home. I have a business to run.’

  ‘You didn’t answer my question.’

  ‘Because I can’t yet,’ Peggy replied and leaned in to kiss him on the lips. It was pleasant and she enjoyed it, just as she enjoyed his company and his compliments. ‘We need to know each other a lot better before we think about the future. We have to talk, tell each other things…’

  ‘Yeah, I guess,’ he said and grinned. ‘My mom says I always did grab the shiniest toy the moment I saw it. She’s still alive, but lives with her cousin in Wyoming. I never see her or any of my family since my Pa died. Will you come away with me one weekend, Peggy? Go somewhere we can be alone – find out whether we like each other? It doesn’t have to end with us sleeping together, but it might.’

  ‘Yes,’ she said and this time she had no hesitation. ‘Yes, I will, Able. I said yes when you asked me out, because I felt resentful of what Laurie had done – but this is different. I didn’t realise how much I was going to like you. I should like to get to know you much better.’

  ‘Great. I’ll let them know we’re ready for coffee and then I’ll take you home in a taxi.’ He grinned at her again. ‘If the neighbours see you walking up the street in the dress you wore last night you’ll have no reputation left…’

  *

  In the end it had got too late and Ryan had fallen asleep on the kitchen sofa. He was still there when Janet came downstairs to see to the fires and make a cup of tea. She warmed a bottle for Maggie, who had been weaned from the breast for some time and now took some soft foods, but still liked a bottle of milk first thing in the morning. Just as she was about to take it upstairs to feed her daughter, Ryan stirred, opened his eyes and looked at her.

  ‘God, is it morning? How much brandy did you give me last night? I must have gone out like a light.’ He sat up and looked at her ruefully. ‘I’m so sorry, Jan. I never meant to stay all night.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. No one needs to know about it,’ she said. ‘I don’t think Mum came home last night anyway. I looked in her room before I came down and the bed hasn’t been touched since she left.’

  ‘I’ll go,’ Ryan said in a rueful tone. ‘I’m sorry about last night. I was desperate and I had nowhere else to go.’

  ‘You’ve lost your home as well as your family,’ Janet said. ‘I know how that feels, Ryan. I’m not going to let you go off just like that. You can use the bathroom upstairs and one of the guest rooms. You’re not far off my father’s size. Some of his older shirts will fit you. I’ll lend you one – but his trousers would be too big…’

  ‘I’ve got a few things at the office and I’ll get myself whatever else I need on the way to work, if you’re sure your mother won’t mind?’

  ‘Of course she won’t,’ Janet said. ‘I’ll take you upstairs so you can have a wash and shave. I’m sure there’s some kit in the bathroom, either Dad’s or Pip’s, and then I’ll get you some toast and a cup of tea before you go. I just have to give Maggie her bottle and change her.’

  ‘I’m such a nuisance. I shouldn’t have come here…’

  ‘Of course you should, we’re friends,’ Janet said and led the way upstairs. She showed him the bathroom and the spare room, which was opposite, and then fetched one of her father’s shirts from the wardrobe in her mother’s room, leaving Ryan to freshen up while she fed and changed Maggie.

  Ryan was just emerging from the guest room when she carried Maggie down to the kitchen and put her in the playpen while she filled the kettle and set it on the range, which was heating nicely.

  She’d made toast and provided some of Peggy’s home-made marmalade and Ryan had begun to eat when the back door opened and Peggy walked in. She looked startled and then a little flustered.

  ‘Oh – I didn’t realise,’ she said. ‘I’m not sure what to say…’

  ‘It isn’t what it looks like,’ Janet said quickly, because she could see Ryan’s embarrassment. ‘Ryan had some bad news last night, Mum. I made him sleep on the couch and he’s borrowed one of Dad’s older shirts – be
cause his house was bombed and everything went in the fire…’

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Peggy said. ‘That is awful for you. I’ve just come from up West and I’ve seen some of the fires are still smouldering this morning. We had a little one in the yard when an incendiary hit our shed once, but apart from replacing the windows in the pub a couple of times, we’ve been lucky.’

  ‘Mum…’ Janet glanced apologetically at Ryan, because it wasn’t like her mother to babble on, but he shook his head.

  ‘I’ll just go up and change my dress,’ Peggy said and now she was the one to look embarrassed. ‘I’m afraid I had a little too much champagne last night and I’m told I fell asleep. If there’s anything we can do, Ryan, please say. You’re welcome to stay here. It isn’t easy to find a room these days. Folk are always asking me for a room, but I don’t want a permanent lodger – however, you would be very welcome to stay for a while…’

  ‘Thank you, Peggy. That is kind of you. If I really get stuck I might take you up on the offer.’ He swallowed the last of his tea, picked up his half-eaten toast and rose to his feet. ‘I’ll get out of your way, Jan. Thanks for the brandy and sympathy. I have to get to work.’

  He left the kitchen, taking his toast and eating it as he went.

  Peggy looked at Janet and then they both smiled awkwardly.

  ‘I don’t have a leg to stand on,’ Peggy said. ‘I’m not going to play the heavy-handed mother when I’ve just got home at this hour – but people do talk…’

  ‘Let them,’ Janet replied. ‘My conscience is clear – and Ryan was in a bad way last night, Mum. He lost his whole family as well as the house. His sons were home from school for a holiday and they all died; he can’t understand why they didn’t go to the shelters and he was devastated.’