by Rosie Clarke
‘It stinks in here,’ the doctor said and frowned. ‘Get a window open and clean this mess up, nurse.’
‘Yes, sir. I was just going to…’
Sister frowned at her and she gathered the dirty sheets and almost ran from the room, feeling like a scolded child. It was hardly her fault that the patient had been sick minutes before the doctor arrived. Dumping her soiled linen in the basket, she washed her hands at the sink and went back into the small side ward.
‘What’s this?’ the doctor was staring at the glass of water. He glared at Maureen. ‘Nil by mouth means nil by mouth. No wonder your patient vomited. It’s a good thing he hadn’t had surgery or his wound might have opened.’
Maureen opened her mouth to reply and then closed it when Sister shook her head. Doctor’s word was law and you didn’t argue; it was one of the first things she’d been taught – even though she was being unfairly accused, she had to accept it.
She was relieved when he nodded over her chart, wrote something on the bottom and then went through the curtain to Nurse Simmons.
‘I’ll speak to you later,’ Sister Martin hissed at her and followed him.
Maureen made her patient more comfortable with an extra pillow as she could see he was struggling to sit up. He looked distressed and she asked him if he was in pain.
George shook his head and whispered, ‘I need to relieve myself…’
Maureen nodded. ‘Bottle or bedpan?’ she asked and he whispered back that he needed the pan. She fetched one from a small cupboard at the side of the room and slid it under him, helping him on to it and settling the covers as the doctor emerged from behind the curtains. George gave her an agonised look and relieved himself; the pungent smell made the doctor glance at him and wrinkle his nose. He left the room immediately and Sister followed, casting an amused glance at Maureen’s patient.
‘Sorry about that,’ George said as Maureen retrieved the pan minutes later and covered it with a white cloth. ‘It’s a bit embarrassing – especially after he got on to you about the smell when I was sick.’
‘It’s all right,’ she said and laughed. ‘When you’ve dealt with as many of these as I have, you get used to it. Is there anythin’ else I can do for you?’
‘Can I wash myself?’ he asked, still a bit uncomfortable at having opened his bowels in the presence of two nurses and a doctor. ‘I think some of it went over me – and maybe the bed…’
‘I’ll fetch a cloth and give you a bit of a wash when I’ve dealt with this…’
‘Ahh!’ George had discovered his hands hurt as he tried to pull back his covers. ‘It bloody hurts…’
‘Yes, I’m sure it does,’ Maureen said sympathetically. ‘Don’t worry about anything yet, George. I’ll change your under sheet if it needs it and clean you up…’
‘I feel like a damned kid…’ he said, looking acutely embarrassed. ‘Sorry to be such a nuisance…’
‘You’re not and couldn’t be,’ she assured him with a smile. ‘It’s what we’re here for…’
She went out and fetched some water and soap and returned to find that he’d rolled to one side of the bed, trying to find a way of escaping the mess, and in the meantime had caused himself more pain. His eyes were filled with tears, which he rubbed at with his bandaged hands.
‘I’m a bloody useless idiot,’ he said fiercely, but Maureen smiled and went to help him roll further away from the mess. She deftly removed the under sheet and placed a clean one underneath, then she wrung out her cloth in the warm water she’d brought with her and gently sponged his back, drying him and settling him back comfortably. By this time George was thoroughly exhausted and tears of weakness were trickling down his cheeks. ‘Sorry, nurse, but it hurts – my hands feel as if a thousand bees are stinging them…’
‘Is it very bad?’ Maureen asked and he nodded. She checked his sheet and saw that he wasn’t due for any more painkilling medicines for another hour. ‘I’m sorry I can’t give you anything more just yet.’
Nurse Simmons had been out of the room but returned with some fresh sheets for her patient. Maureen took her to one side and explained what had happened.
‘I think changin’ the sheets and washin’ him was too much – should I have left him as he was?’
‘We have to keep our patients clean,’ Nurse Simmons said and looked at the patient and then his chart. ‘Nothing you can do yet, Nurse Jackson. Speak to Sister when she comes and tell her the medication isn’t lasting the full six hours. She will ask the doctor if he can go on more…’
*
It was late when Maureen finally got to bed. Rita was out and Carol didn’t lift her head even when she asked if it was all right if she put her light on for a while. The little shaded lamp by her bed shouldn’t disturb the other girl and Maureen really wanted to read Gran’s letter. She hadn’t had time to open it all day and she wanted to see what Gran had to say because it was only a few days since her last letter and something made her wonder if her grandmother was all right.
Tearing the envelope open, she read her Gran’s words.
I’m sorry to worry you, Maureen love, but I’ve had a letter from that lot at the farm in Essex; it seems that Shirley’s grandmother died suddenly last month and they’re finding it difficult to cope with the child. Mrs Hunter went on about all the work she has to do and I’m sure she’s busy, but I think the trouble is she doesn’t like Shirley. We both know she can be troublesome, but the poor kid will be feeling upset with her gran dead. They say you’re responsible for her now, love, and they want you to fetch her as soon as you can – and I know that’s not easy for you…
I know you can’t look after her now you’re working as a nurse and I’m willing to take her on here, at least for a while. You can write to her father and explain what has happened and he’ll get leave and come home to make other arrangements when he can, but I can’t fetch the child so you’ll have to arrange that, Maureen. I’m sorry to put this on you but didn’t know what else to do. Can’t leave the poor little thing with the misery guts who doesn’t want her, can we?
Love from Gran.
‘Oh no…’ Maureen stared at the letter for several minutes in dismay. She was concerned and upset for Shirley, Gordon Hart’s little girl. She remembered the day he’d come in the shop before the war started and asked her if she would have the care of Shirley if anything happened to his mother – and to him out there – and she’d said yes, of course she would, never thinking what it would mean because she’d expected Mrs Hart would live for years yet. Gordon had made Maureen her guardian if he died and now she felt the weight of that responsibility on her shoulders. Gran was willing to look after Shirley for a while, but she was getting on in years and it wasn’t right or feasible for her to have the permanent care of her. ‘Damn…’
‘Is something wrong? Is it bad news?’ Carol was sitting up in bed looking at her with an odd expression in her eyes.
Maureen sighed. ‘In a way – a friend has died and there’s no one but me or my grandmother to look after the child. Shirley’s father is in the army and I promised I’d look after her if anythin’ happened – but that was before my father married and I signed on to become a nurse…’
‘What will you do?’ Carol asked. ‘You can’t give your job up for a child that isn’t yours especially after you wouldn’t give it up for Rory…’ Carol’s cheeks went pink and she couldn’t meet Maureen’s eyes. ‘I mean – you said that…’ She stumbled and looked guilty, because Maureen hadn’t told her anything of the sort, which meant it had come from Rory.
‘Is that what Rory told you when you met him the other evenin’?’
The other girl’s eyes avoided hers as she said, ‘He talked about you all the time, said you’d been wonderful to him and how much he wanted to get married, but you wanted to finish your training and – I’d give it up in an instant if he asked me…’ Carol was really red in the face now as she floundered. ‘I mean he wouldn’t of course because he loves you, but…’<
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‘You’ve fallen for his charm haven’t you?’ Maureen stared at her, half in anger, half in sympathy. She’d felt the same the first time Rory had smiled at her, telling her she was wonderful and the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. Carol wouldn’t be the first or the last young woman to do that, she thought as the girl looked embarrassed. Even with the scars on one side of his face and the backs of his hands, Rory was still too good-looking, but more than that he had a way of smiling and looking at you that could melt any heart. His scars just made him look heroic, enhancing his appeal and Maureen knew only too well how it felt to love a man who belonged to another woman. Sympathy for the young girl overcame the anger. ‘Don’t be upset, Carol. I know you don’t mean any harm. Rory is very attractive…’
Carol raised her head then and looked her in the eyes. ‘I’m in love with him,’ she said defiantly. ‘I don’t care about you – you don’t deserve him. You could marry him, but all you care about is yourself – and another man’s kid. Well, one of these days Rory is going to get fed up waiting and I’ll be there…’
Maureen was shocked, because it was a declaration of war and she felt hurt and bewildered that a girl she’d liked and thought of as a friend would say such a thing to her – and mean it.
‘I think you may regret sayin’ that in the mornin’,’ she said, holding her temper. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way, Carol – but what I choose to do is my business and Rory’s – and if he chooses you over me then he wouldn’t be the man I think he is…’
Placing her grandmother’s letter in her bedside cabinet, she snapped off her light and got into bed without bothering to undress. As far as Maureen was concerned she had nothing more to say to the girl in the bed next door. Yet she lay without sleeping for ages, puzzling over the problem Gran had set her and thinking about Rory.
*
‘I’ve been given leave to go and fetch her and take her back to London this weekend,’ Maureen told Rory. ‘Gran is goin’ to look after her for the time bein’, but I think Peggy might have her at the pub if it’s too much for Gran.’
Rory frowned. ‘I don’t see that it’s up to you to worry over her future, Maureen. Gordon Hart is nothin’ to you – is he?’
‘No, of course not,’ Maureen said, feeling uncomfortable. ‘It was before the war. I thought I’d still be at the shop, so when he asked if I would look after her if anythin’ happened I said yes – and he made me her official guardian until he returns…’
‘Supposin’ he doesn’t?’ Rory’s voice was harsh. ‘You’ll be stuck with the kid for the rest of your life – and where does that leave us? I’m not prepared to work to keep someone else’s kid – especially his. I don’t like him. I saw the way he hung round you at that church social…’
Maureen was chilled by his tone and his looks. She’d known he could be selfish, but surely he wasn’t so heartless as to abandon a child?
‘Rory, we’ve only ever been friends. You can’t be jealous?’
‘I thought we’d go somewhere on your next weekend off,’ he said, glaring at her. ‘Now it will be ages before you get another one…’
‘Perhaps we could go down together, perhaps spend the night somewhere on Saturday and then fetch her Sunday mornin’ and take her back to Gran’s – we’d be together all weekend, Rory…’ Maureen heard the pleading tone in her own voice and hated it.
He hesitated and she saw the uncertainty in his eyes. A part of him could see the benefits, because they would have all Saturday alone, but he wasn’t sure about fetching Shirley.
‘I’ll go down on the train if I have to – but you could borrow a friend’s car like last time, couldn’t you?’
‘Yes, all right.’ Rory relented and it was like the sun coming out when he smiled, making her want to melt in its warmth. ‘I’ll take you – but Hart better come home and arrange his daughter’s future, because I’m not gettin’ stuck with her. I want kids of our own when this lot is over…’
Maureen smiled, kissed his cheek and thanked him, but inside she felt as if she were carrying a dead weight. She loved Rory, but he could be very selfish and she was hurt that he hadn’t taken her feelings into consideration. Rory was a charmer when he wanted to be but he also liked to dominate and that made her uneasy for the future. She pushed the doubts that had started to come into her mind to a far corner. Rory was entitled to his point of view and naturally, he didn’t want the burden of another man’s child – though Shirley wouldn’t be a burden to her.
*
‘We shouldn’t quarrel,’ Rory said and stroked Maureen’s hair as her head lay against his on the pillows. They stopped the night at a small hotel on the way to Essex, Maureen wearing the wedding ring he’d bought her, and booking in as Mr and Mrs Mackness. ‘I don’t know why I do it, because I adore you, Molly love. I’ve been with other women, but none of them ever meant anything to me. You’re the one I love – and I’m lucky you put up with my temper.’
Maureen leaned over to kiss him on the lips. They’d made love several times that weekend and it had been wonderful again. When Maureen was in his arms she felt as if everything was perfect. Happiness made her smile as she ran a finger down his cheek and kissed him on the lips. Rory could be thoughtless and selfish, but she did love him and she believed he loved her.
‘I want to spend the rest of our lives together,’ she murmured. ‘You won’t be cross tomorrow when we fetch Shirley will you? As Gran says, we can’t leave her there, because they don’t want her – and I did promise I would look after her. She’s only seven and she hasn’t had a happy time of it lately.’
‘Her father should never have asked you,’ Rory said and got out of bed. ‘I don’t mind fetchin’ her and I’ve no objection to you sendin’ the girl things and helpin’ to look after her, but I don’t want to be stuck with her forever. It’s hard enough bringin’ up a family as it is, Maureen. Just make sure Hart makes other arrangements for her if he gets killed over there…’
‘With any luck he’ll come home…’
‘Yeah, but he may not.’
Maureen didn’t answer, because she hated to think that Gordon might be killed out there, realising that she would miss him and his letters more than she’d bargained for. She didn’t want to let Gordon or his daughter down, but Rory had a point. It wouldn’t be fair to expect him to bring up another man’s daughter, although Maureen would’ve been quite happy to contribute from her earnings, but obviously if she had kids and was at home looking after them, the burden would be on Rory and he was partially disabled, even though he never complained that his eyesight was troubling him.
‘Yes, all right, I’ll write and tell him,’ she promised. ‘Now come back to bed, because it will soon be time to leave for the farm…’
‘Just going to the toilet,’ Rory said. ‘Keep the bed warm for me, love…’
Maureen turned over and sighed. She felt so awkward over this business of Shirley, because she’d given her word to Gordon, and she didn’t want to let him down – but she didn’t want to quarrel with Rory over it more than she already had.
*
‘I could take her if your gran thinks it’s too much for her,’ Peggy offered when Maureen saw her on Sunday. ‘You mustn’t worry about the girl, love. You know I like havin’ kids around. Anne is stayin’ here with me at the moment and she’ll know about fixin’ up a school for her. They’ve opened a few of them up again, because a lot of kids are comin’ back now the blitz is over.’
‘Oh good,’ Maureen said, feeling relieved. ‘I didn’t want to ask, because I told Gordon I’d look after her…’
‘Things change,’ Peggy said. ‘You’re doin’ a good job, love. I’m just here same as always, cookin’ and cleanin’, and one small girl doesn’t make much difference to me. I’d enjoy havin’ her.’
‘Thanks so much, Peggy. I’ll write and tell Gordon not to worry, though I expect he will have had an official letter about his mother, but he’ll want to know if Shirley is OK. They might give
him compassionate leave, but it depends how bad things are wherever he is…’
‘Yes, of course. Now stop worryin’. I shall look forward to helpin’ where I can, and so will Anne. We look out for each other here, love…’
‘Yes, thank goodness for the women of Mulberry Lane…’
She felt much easier now, because Gran would have Shirley for a while and then Peggy would take her on to give Gran a rest now and then. It would work for the time being, but Maureen realised she was going to have to ask for a transfer back to London as soon as she’d passed her next round of exams – and she wasn’t sure how Rory would feel about that. She’d told him he must wait but now she was thinking about transferring to London for the sake of another man’s child. Rory was going to be angry…
Chapter 21
‘Tommy!’ Alice Carter hailed him urgently as she saw him leaving the yard of the Pig & Whistle that morning in July. ‘I want a word with you, lad.’
Tommy ambled across the road to her good-naturedly. The sun was shining and he’d just earned five shillings from Peggy and all was right with his world. Alice was always wanting something and he was happy to help out where he could, but something about her manner made the back of his neck prickle and he realised she was upset.
‘Is somethin’ the matter, Alice?’
‘It’s your Sam,’ Alice said. ‘I was going to the market this mornin’ and I saw the warden puttin’ up notices on some of the bomb sites. I asked him what was wrong and he said they’d discovered an unexploded bomb in one of the ruins and were warnin’ people to keep away because there might be more…’
‘I’ve told Sam a hundred times it’s dangerous…’ Tom said and swore beneath his breath. ‘Have you seen ’im?’
Alice nodded vigorously. ‘He’s up the other side of the market. I think he was headin’ for what used to be a second-hand jewellery shop before it was bombed. The police ’ave put a cordon up round it, orderin’ people to keep orf, but you know what the kids are like, Tommy. I’ve seen half a dozen of ’em diggin’ around. I expect there’s a lot of valuables there somewhere…’