Possess

by Laura Marie Altom

  —

  I woke two days later in the stateroom of a yacht.

  Though I felt better on this afternoon than I had in a while, I was glad for the strong, reassuring beat of Liam’s heart beneath my ear. I pressed my hand to the wall of his chest. Never had I appreciated his strength more.

  “Hey…” he said when I looked up to see his dear face. Even though a glimpse at the rolling Atlantic outside the window promised breathtaking views, I was positive there was no sight I would ever appreciate more than this man, my love. “Welcome again to the Seychelles. You were pretty out of it when the customs agent boarded the jet.”

  “Any problems?” I was as terrified of his legal issues following him as I was of Blaine following me.

  “No.” Instead of taking his own jet, “Jack Jones” had chartered one. Same with the boat.

  He’d even surprised me by inviting Nathan and Carol to tag along.

  All of us had fake names and passports and lives. I hated that I’d dragged them into my nightmare, but was profoundly grateful they’d come along on this crazy ride. Liam had insisted on spiriting me out of the country—at least until devising a plan to officially end my marriage. In my heart, I no longer believed it was possible, but all of us could use a vacation. Or maybe what I really should call this respite was a calm before the inevitable storm. There would come a day when Blaine and my parents would have to be faced. I knew this. For my own sanity, I’d have to sit down with them all one-on-one to relay my version of the events in a manner they couldn’t refute.

  “Hungry?” Liam asked.

  I nodded.

  “Want to eat here or on deck?” He kissed the tip of my nose. “Once that decision’s made, what’s your dream menu?”

  “There is one thing I’ve been craving…” For his sake, I tried being upbeat, but couldn’t offer more than a wistful smile.

  “Let me guess…” He traced the outline of my lips. “Rice Krispies Treats?”

  He knew me so well. “I love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  I pushed myself high enough to kiss him. The simplest touch of our lips filled me with false security. The suite’s opulence, the boat’s gentle roll, turquoise peeking through the window, and Liam—always, Liam—all combined to further confuse me. How easy it would be to spend the rest of my life afloat. No alarm clocks or to-do lists or all-consuming goals. Just a delicious vanilla daze. But was that living? Or merely a drug-free extension of my time at the clinic?

  I didn’t want to merely exist, but thrive. I wanted to be that girl with the Frisbee in her belly that soared. I hated this limbo. I hated the power Blaine’s stunt had proven. He wasn’t just stronger than me, but also Liam—all of us. If he could reach into the heart of Liam’s most private sanctuary, where could he not find me? Sure, we currently had the illusion of safety, but was that enough? Was I willing to settle for anything less than 100-percent real?

  “What are we doing?” I whispered, losing myself in Liam’s emerald gaze.

  He cupped my cheek before kissing me again. “I know what I’d like to be doing.”

  His flippant answer worsened my mood. “What’s it going to take for you to get it?”

  I wriggled off of the bed.

  “Babe…” He grabbed my arm to tug me back, but I gave him a hard shove.

  “What are we doing here?” I waved at our freakish surroundings—glowing wood and mirror-sheened brass. Sumptuous upholstery and leather. It was all too much. “Do you honestly believe that by hiding we’ll ever win? All you’ve done by bringing us here is place a pricey bandage on a gaping wound.”

  “So what? You and I both have just been through hell. Where’s the harm in taking a breather? I agree that Blaine’s going to have to be dealt with, but in your current condition, you can hardly stand, let alone fight.” He sat on the bed’s edge, then snagged me around my waist to draw me in. “You think I’m looking forward to the prospect of what’s waiting for us back in the real world?”

  I shook my head.

  “Unfortunately,” his voice had softened, “you’re right. Our problems aren’t going anywhere. But until we’re home, why not steal this time—these few days in heaven—to reconnect? To remind ourselves what we’re even fighting for?”

  “I-I want to be happy, but how? The last time we wore nothing but smiles, you saw what happened. Blaine snatched me. He swooped in from out of nowhere and just took me.” The fear I’d tamped down rose into a bubbling fury. “Do you have any idea how out of control and scared I’ve been? All those drugs reached deep inside and stole everything. Blaine stood by and watched as that doctor of his turned me into a walking vegetable. I can’t go through that again—I won’t. I’d rather be dead.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “Y-yes, I do.” Liam held me, but his warmth no longer sunk in. Fear of Blaine’s next inevitable move encased me in ice. Even worse—what if Liam and I somehow defeated Blaine, only to have our happiness jerked out from under us all over again by Liam being sentenced to years in prison? I wanted to believe that with all of his money, that could never happen, but I’d be a fool to think it couldn’t. What Blaine had done proved that very bad things can and do happen to good people. “Can we get off of this boat?”

  “Sure.” He leaned me back to search my gaze. “I’ll have one of the deckhands take us ashore. I was topside earlier, and you’re not going to believe the paradise waiting just beyond our stateroom’s view.”

  His words were profound, only not in a way he’d ever intended. I wanted so badly to believe the rest of our lives were just that—a paradise waiting to be discovered. We might not be able to see it now, but with the subtlest shift in attitude, it was all there for the taking. I wanted to believe, but how many times had I forced myself back up only to be shoved down? Blaine always won.

  Even though he was a million miles from the boat, from the water lapping the hull, he might as well have been right behind me, whispering in my ear, U R Mine. Don’t ever forget.

  The letters he’d carved into the undersides of my breasts burned.

  My head knew the wounds had long since fully healed, but try telling that to my heart.

  “On second thought,” I said, terrified of possibly never feeling whole again—I climbed back under the covers—“I’m going to stay here and sleep. But you go on ahead.”

  “Babe…”

  Dealing with Liam’s disappointment in me was too hard, so I feigned sleep and he eventually walked away.

  23

  Liam

  “Where’s Ella?” Carol asked the next morning from the breakfast buffet the stewards had assembled.

  “Shower.” I glanced up from the tech article I’d been trying to read in the Wall Street Journal. Mostly, I’d scanned the same paragraph a half-dozen times.

  “Why aren’t you with her?” She winked while easing into the seat across from me at the aft-deck table.

  I growled.

  “Okay…” She bit into a piece of toast. “We’re on the Love Boat, so how come you two lovebirds aren’t off cooing?”

  “Nosy much?”

  She shrugged. “It just seems to me that after you’ve spent the past month mooning over her, you’d never again let her out of your sight.”

  “That was the plan…” Christ, she’d pissed me off. “I mean, look where we are. How can she be depressed in a place like this? I thought we could just escape it all, you know? But she packed all of our emotional dirty laundry and shoved it in a fucking drama suitcase.”

  Carol winced.

  “Sorry. I just planned on things being different—better. Instead, it all seems worse.”

  “She has been through a lot,” Carol said, all too happy to point this out while spreading mango chutney on her latest piece of whole wheat. “You can’t expect her to instantly bounce back. They had given her a lot of drugs—takes time to recover from that. She’s a woman—not a yo-yo.”

  “And there you have it—the world ac
cording to Caroline Moore. I should have that shit needlepointed on a pillow.”

  “Stop acting like a spoiled brat—or more likely, a horn dog who was looking forward to a long morning between the sheets. Try seeing this from Ella’s perspective.”

  “Aren’t I paying you to be on my team?”

  “I thought Ella joined your team…” She winked before sipping from her coffee.

  “Have you always been such a smart-ass?”

  “Yes.” She met my stare head-on. Directness topped the list of her best qualities. She never told me what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear. “That’s why you love me.” She reached across the table, placing her hand over mine. “Besides Garrett and Owen, I’m the only one not afraid to tell you the truth. Then, along came Ella. Now, she also tells you the truth, but you’re in too deep to recognize that as a good thing. Relax. Not sure how, but given time, everything’s going to be okay.”

  I snorted. “From your lips to God’s ears.”

  When Ella said she’d rather die than relive the past weeks, I had to wonder if what she felt for me was anywhere near what I felt for her. To preserve what we shared, I would belly-crawl through the worst imaginable hell on a loop. To learn she didn’t feel the same was crushing. But she hadn’t meant it, right? It had been lingering drugs talking or exhaustion, but I refused to believe she wasn’t fully invested in us.

  Carol asked, “Wanna go for a swim?”

  “Sure.” Why the hell not?

  The yacht was moored within swimming distance of an enchanted, palm-ringed island.

  After our refreshing trek to shore, Carol and I walked side by side without saying a word. In the years we’d worked together, we’d been to some great places—Paris, Milan, Tokyo—but this topped them all. It was so pristine, so postcard perfect, that I felt as if we were strolling through a living travel brochure. Only, without sharing it with Ella, it all felt as flat as glossy paper.

  I asked Carol, “Am I an ass for being here with you instead of Ell?”

  “Probably, a little.” She grinned. “But maybe you two need time apart to process everything that went down.”

  I kicked a piece of driftwood. “I just want to know when all of this will stop feeling bad. On New Year’s, when I proposed, I’d never been surer about a decision. You helped just before then—remember? That day at the office when you asked if I loved her. Before then I hadn’t thought about it, but prompted by your question, I realized that yeah—I did love her. Still do.”

  “Perfect. So what’s the problem?”

  “Exactly. That’s my point. We shouldn’t have any problems, so what should I do?”

  “Let’s finish exploring this island, then we’ll go back to the boat for a nice lunch. After which I’m sure you and Ella will both feel better.”

  “You’re probably right.” For only an instant, I squeezed her hand. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”

  “Yeah, yeah…Forever trapped in the friend zone. Just where I want to be.” She reached high enough to rub my buzz cut, then teased, “Bet you can’t beat me to those rocks!”

  I took her challenge, running for all I was worth, praying that when I reached our destination, the exertion would have swept away my confusion.

  24

  Ella

  “You’re looking better today.” Nathan approached me on the upper deck.

  I summoned a grin. “Is that your glossed-over version of telling me I looked like hell yesterday?”

  He laughed, drawing me into a hug. “You know damn well you look beautiful every day. God, you gave me a scare. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “Thanks.” I leaned into him, glad for his support. “Me, too.”

  “Where’s Liam?” he asked once we’d drawn apart.

  I pointed to the island that seemed to float in water so clear and pale it hardly looked real. “We had a fight, and now he and Carol are playing tag on the beach. He’s awful.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  I wiped tears from my eyes. “No, I don’t. And I know the two of them are just friends, but wasn’t the whole point of this detour for us to be together? I mean, geez…”

  “Relax. He loves you.”

  “I know,” I said with a sniffle. “And I love him. We’ve been apart for thirty minutes and already, I’m out of my mind. It took all my energy just to make it up here. I was hoping to find Liam.” She laughed. “I didn’t think I’d see him chasing after Carol. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?”

  “Stop. He’s not chasing after her, but blowing off steam. The man is crazy about you—only you.”

  I finally exhaled. “Thank you—not just for talking me down, but for being here.”

  His eyes shone. “Where else would I be?”

  We shared a hug.

  “How about I help you down a few decks to where they stow the water toys? Then I’ll set you on an inner tube and float you to the beach so you can see your guy. The water’s bathtub warm. Trust me, you’ll feel better. But first, let’s get sunscreen on your zombie-white skin.”

  “I know I’m pale, but do I look that bad?”

  “Depends on your definition of bad.”

  “You’re so mean!” Even as I said the words, I was laughing. It was the kind of thing he’d have thrown out back when we worked at Wal-Mart. The sensation felt right. Like old times. My earlier frustration with Liam melded into gratefulness for him having been thoughtful enough to include my friend on our journey—especially when I knew Liam wasn’t Nathan’s biggest fan.

  —

  Nathan had been right about the water—it was warm and silky and for as far as I could see, at least a dozen serene shades ranging from pale aqua to vibrant turquoise. The air held the faintest hint of brine and was so pollutant-free that the mere act of breathing gave me a high. Toss in the island’s white sand and swaying palms, and the power of it all had me swallowing a knot of gratitude in my throat.

  Yes, I did need a break before resuming my fight with Blaine. Why hadn’t I seen that before? Why had Liam and I even had that stupid fight?

  By the time Nathan steered my inner tube ashore, my earlier frustration had been replaced by a curious calm. Maybe the difference in my current frame of mind was the fact that I wasn’t trying to pretend the worst may be yet to come in facing Blaine. Now that I’d stoically accepted the challenge before me, I needed to embrace this respite and Liam, letting both restore not just my strength, but my will to fight.

  I rocked forward, spilling from my ride into warm, shallow water.

  Sun drenched my freshly lotioned skin and I tipped my face back to drink in more.

  The only thing that could up this moment’s magic was Liam, and when he rounded a bend to leave Carol and run splashing to me, my heart felt consumed by love.

  “I’m sorry,” we both blurted when he reached me.

  We laughed, and then he floated me into his arms, walking me out a little deeper, and then he was kissing me, kissing me until I couldn’t remember where I left off and he began. But did it really even matter? Our connection wasn’t something I could define or even understand—it just was, and I hoped would forever be.

  “What do you want to do today?” he asked when we’d stopped kissing to visually take each other in. His skin had already bronzed, and water droplets glistened from his forehead and newly cropped hair.

  “This…” I kissed him again. “Your new haircut makes you look more like a sexy military type than a computer geek.”

  “Thanks. I think?”

  After playing in the water and beachcombing for hours, we all met for lunch at a table the yacht’s crew had assembled in a palm grove. The shade was as welcome as the pineapple-coconut punch they’d concocted. We feasted on lobster salad and crusty baguettes slathered in sweet butter. Mangos and more pineapple and watermelon.

  Carol and Nathan indulged in a one-up game of raunchy jokes that ended in a draw, with me laughing so hard my sides hurt. The laughter was as
healing as the reassuring glances and touches Liam ensured I was never long without.

  After lunch, Liam set me back onto my inner tube and towed me to the boat.

  From there, we went off to nap—thankfully, not as a foursome.

  I woke still tired—or, maybe languorous was the better term.

  I rolled over in a scene reminiscent of that morning, only everything had changed. My fear had been replaced by a steely determination to make the best of whatever time Liam and I had to share.

  He was beautiful in his sleep. Hard jawline shadowed with stubble. Strong nose and forehead. My living fantasy man stretched out beside me. I had to pinch myself to believe this was my life—even if for only this brief moment. I didn’t know if we’d share the next five minutes or fifty years. But since dwelling on that fact only stoked my worst fears, I made a conscious choice to focus on the here and now—on fluttering my fingers along his abs’ ripples, his pecs, collarbone and shoulders.

  The more I touched, the more I wanted.

  I moved my explorations lower, slipping my hand beneath the sheet to cup him, relishing the wonder of him growing with my every touch and stroke. I took him into my mouth. He tasted of sun and salt and sea.

  He groaned, arching into me. “Is this a dream?”

  I paused, grinning up at him. “Yes and no.”

  “Good enough for me.” I lavished him with attention until he pushed me back. “Not yet. Are you sure you’re strong enough?”

  “Depends…” I couldn’t help but smile. “Could this potentially be overly taxing? Like, do you have a sex swing or stripper pole you’re wanting to use?”

  He laughed. “Not on this boat—although I’m not opposed to giving either a try once we’re home. You’d make a sexy-ass stripper—but only if you’re taking it off for me.”