Retribution Boxed Set (Books One and Two)

by Stark, Cindy

  “What? He shrugged as though innocent, but his grin told her otherwise.

  “Uh-huh,” she said, holding on to his shoulder as she swung her leg over the seat. The large expanse of his back was inches from her, and she was tempted to run her fingers over him to get a feel for his strength and power. He was more or less nestled between her legs, and shocking currents of energy vibrated there. She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands, so she rested them against his sides. Every nerve she had was functioning at high capacity, sending her senses into overload.

  This ride might be more than she could handle after all. It suddenly occurred to her that the danger might not be from other drivers, but from the man in front of her.

  He gave the bike some gas, causing her to grip him tighter. She was sure his smile had grown bigger from her response. He’d said he had to be careful being so near to her because he wanted more, and yet, he’d more or less locked them in a cage of freedom. They might be able to go wherever they wanted on the bike, but they wouldn’t get far from each other.

  As they drew closer to the downtown streets of Portland, traffic increased, making her more nervous. Bumps in the road inched her closer to Sam, and the need to stay safe caused her to hold on tighter. The next thing she knew, there was no space between them at all.

  She didn’t care. The wind rushed past her, silent fingers of air plucking her cares from her and tossing them by the wayside. The sun coursed down on them, washing them in its brightness, and suddenly, all seemed right with the world. Months of fear and worry peeled away, leaving nothing but the essence of who she really was.

  A good person. Deep down, a happy person despite the anguish she’d experienced in her life. A cook. A lover.

  The last thought made her pause. Yes, a lover. Someone who wanted that deep connection with another being. And she’d find it. She couldn’t be afraid to look. Somehow she’d have to find a way to trust herself enough to explore that area. Otherwise, she’d be alone with her empty, dark space for the rest of her days. She didn’t want that. She wanted to be loved, to experience joy in all facets of her life.

  The busy streets of Portland soon turned to quieter suburbs. Houses grew farther apart as they headed east, and greenery began to replace buildings. The air turned cooler, fresher. She loosened her hold on Sam as she began to relax, but he placed a hand over hers for a quick second before she could slip farther away.

  The gesture made her smile. He liked having her near. She liked being near. Maybe that’s all she needed to worry about for the time being. Most people without her vulnerability would react that way. Perhaps she needed to pretend she didn’t feel so empty, and in time, the space would be filled without her having to worry so much.

  The thought made her relax even more. One day at a time. One moment at a time. If she searched for moments like these, she’d be fine. No need to live life so scared. She closed her eyes, tuning into the feel of cradling Sam between her legs and the invisible energy that raced between them. She searched for any of those odd little feelings she’d had with Paul that she’d dismissed because she’d wanted him to love her. Those same feelings that hindsight told her she should have been aware of.

  There was nothing. For now, all was well.

  They’d gone pretty much in a straight line for a while when suddenly the road turned, and the Sandy River became their traveling companion. Janie caught glimpses of the shimmering water between the trees, and when Sam turned onto the bridge that crossed the river, he slowed so they could both catch the view.

  As they continued east along the Historic Columbia River Highway, sunlight dappled the curving road ahead of them. Janie had visited this area several times since moving to Portland. Viewing Multnomah Falls for the first time had stolen her breath. But she’d never viewed the splendor of the area from this vantage point. Instead of cruising by while glancing out a car window, she was actually part of her surroundings. It had a whole different feel.

  An hour or so into their ride, Sam pulled into the small town of Cascade Locks. The town was so tiny, she could almost see one end of it from the other. The mighty Columbia River rushed by to the north while hills and mountains climbed on the south side. The residents of Cascade Locks had carved out a space in between.

  Sam slowed, swung around, and then parked on the north side of the road along a grassy area. Ahead of them, people crowded in a line in front of a small building. He shut off the engine and climbed off the bike, offering a hand to her.

  She took it and climbed off, her legs feeling a little stiff. He removed his helmet, so she did the same.

  “I missed lunch. Do you mind if we grab something? This place has killer hamburgers and fries.” He narrowed his gaze. “Unless the food might insult your refined tastes since you’re a chef and all.”

  “Are you kidding? I adore a good hamburger.”

  He smiled, seeming pleased with her answer. “Good. I found this place as a teenager. The first time I took off on a bike on my own, to be exact. I’ve been coming here ever since when I need to escape. We’ll grab our food and eat next door.”

  They chose one of the few tables scattered across a grassy area next to the restaurant and sat with their burgers and fries. From her vantage point, she could see the Columbia beyond Sam’s shoulder.

  “Are you having fun?” Sam asked before sinking his teeth into his burger.

  “The best time. Thank you for bringing me. I really did need to get out of the house.”

  “Yeah. Life’s been a bit of a bitch for both of us lately. You more than me, but still.”

  “Your job?” she prompted.

  He studied her for a moment before speaking. “I probably shouldn’t tell you this. Confidential police info and all that.” He sighed, the stress of his job showing in the telltale lines feathering out from his eyes. “I think we have a mole.”

  “A mole? Like a traitor or something?”

  “There’s been a few odd things happening. People gaining information that they shouldn’t have. Other times, things come up missing.”

  She swallowed her french fry and took a sip of cola. “That sounds bad. What do you do now?”

  “It is bad. A complete pain in my ass. I wish I could figure out who and get him or her the hell out of there. Work is hard enough without someone compromising cases.”

  “Have you thought about setting up a sting? They do that in the movies all the time.”

  “Internal affairs has tried it a couple of times with some of the guys I think might be capable of it. That’s such a tough call though. They are people I work with every day. People I trust my life with, you know? The thought that one might not be above board is difficult to swallow.”

  “I know what you mean. Trust is a hard thing to gain and even harder to let go because by the time you realize you need to let go, you’ve invested some of yourself in that person.”

  She glanced at him and realized he was staring at her.

  “That’s exactly right.”

  She knew that all too well.

  “Is that why you stayed with Castell?”

  “Maybe. In the beginning. After that, it was just fear.”

  “I watched my sister deal with something similar.”

  Her gaze jumped to his, but he looked off into the distance as though watching the few cars that passed. The look of heartbreak twisting his features broke hers. He blinked and then focused on her. “That’s how I met Hunter, how I became involved with this group of guys.”

  The fact that he was talking about his group of “friends” surprised her. She’d been hesitant to ask him again, but him speaking of them seemed to imply that she and Sam had gained a level of trust with each other. A warm feeling trickled down through her heart. “What happened? Hunter wasn’t hurting her, was he?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Hunter—you might remember seeing him at Nicole and Xander’s wedding.”

  “I remember Christian, but that’s it.”

  “Hunter
was the initial force behind our group. In one way or the other, we’ve all been affected by people who’ve escaped justice. Hunter brought us together.”

  “Isn’t that kind of wrong? I mean using information you learn at the police station or lying about stuff to them, couldn’t you get into trouble for that?”

  He met her gaze dead on. “Absolutely.”

  “Then why do you do it? It’s kind of an oxymoron to me. You stand up for justice and then you do illegal things.” She held up a hand. “Please don’t be offended or take this the wrong way, but doesn’t that make you something of a traitor, too?”

  He heaved a heavy sigh and nodded. “I’ve struggled with that since the beginning. It goes against everything I was brought up with. But when you watch a man beat your sister to death and then walk because of a missed loophole, it kind of changes a person’s perspective. I used to see things in strictly black and white. Time and pain have altered that.” He captured her gaze and held it, intensity emanating from his eyes. “I’ve never abused that power. We’ve never gone after a person that wasn’t one hundred percent guilty.” Except Nicole, but those were unusual circumstances, and in the end, they’d caught the true criminal.

  “How can you know for sure? Isn’t that what the justice system is for? Innocent until proven guilty?”

  “We’d all like to think so, but there are many people behind bars who don’t belong there, and plenty who escape justice. We’re doing what we can to help people who’ve been let down by the system.”

  A few moments passed in silence, and she let them. They were talking some heavy stuff, and they both needed a minute to let it settle.

  “Do you want to tell me about your sister?” she finally asked in a quiet voice. She didn’t want to push him. Didn’t want to examine old wounds if he didn’t. She knew well enough from her own experience how painful that could be.

  He smiled, but it was tempered with sadness. “Diane was great.”

  She didn’t like the way he said “was”.

  “There was barely a year between us, so we grew up very close. We didn’t fight like most siblings did. I don’t know what it was, but we just liked each other. We understood each other, you know?”

  She nodded. She didn’t really understand because she’d never had that kind of a relationship, but she could guess at how nice it would be.

  “We stayed close after high school even though we attended different colleges. Then one day, she stopped calling and texting like she usually did. I asked her about it, but she said life had gotten busy. She’d decided to drop out of school, and she had a new job and a new boyfriend. It all made sense. She sounded happy on the phone. Until the night she called from the emergency room, saying they wouldn’t release her unless she had a ride home.”

  He compressed his lips, raw pain radiating from him, planting a deep ache in her heart. Not that she had anyone to watch her make her stupid mistakes, but it still gave her an insight on what it felt like to see a person be destroyed from the inside out. She stood and walked to his side of the table, and pulled his head against her chest. He wrapped strong arms around her, and she held him like that for a few minutes until he pulled away.

  But she didn’t let him go completely. She ran her fingers down his jaw line, trapping his gaze with hers. “I’m so sorry. I understand where she was coming from, but I’m so sorry for the hurt it caused you.”

  He pulled her hands from his face and tugged her down next to him. He faced inward on the bench while she faced outward. “Unlike you, she had somewhere to go. People who loved her. People who would have helped her. If my dad didn’t kick the guy’s ass, I would have.”

  She swallowed and nodded, wishing she could have known that kind of devotion from her family.

  “She hid it,” he continued. “Made excuses. And of course, we wanted to believe her. When we did see her, she acted like she was completely in love, and we wanted her to be happy. By the time we figured out it was all a lie, it was too late. She was in a coma in the hospital. She’d been beaten so badly she never woke up.” His voice hitched, and he cleared his throat. “I wonder if she was too ashamed of what she’d let him do to her that she didn’t want to face us.”

  “No.” Hot tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m sure she knew how much you loved her and knew you would support her if she’d asked.” She wiped her cheeks. “Sometimes, things creep up on us, and we find ourselves embroiled in dark situations that we think we can get out of. We don’t ask for help because we’re embarrassed and because we think we can manage.”

  He watched her now with an intense gaze as though she had all the answers in the world. Maybe in some way, he could learn something from her, too.

  “The night Paul attacked me, it took me by surprise. Up until the point he pushed me into the shower, I didn’t think he’d actually be capable of hurting me beyond healing. I’m sure it was the same for your sister. Maybe she had plans to get out, too.” She took his hand and squeezed. “You can’t second guess her. But from what you told me about her, I know she loved you, and that she wouldn’t want this hurt for you.”

  He nodded, a solemn look on his face.

  “She’s at peace now, you know? She might not be here, but she’s not in pain any longer, either.”

  “I know. But she should be here, damn it. She should be here so she can meet you.”

  His words snuck up on her and blew her away. That he would think her important enough to meet his sister. She nodded, unable to speak, and leaned over to hug him. He buried his face in her hair, and she held him like that for a long time. His sister’s story brought home exactly how close to death she might have come. She’d always thought she could survive Paul, but what if she wouldn’t have? She thought of all the things she’d miss. A chance at love. The rare snowfalls in the city. Babies. The joys and pains of growing old.

  The thought of it overwhelmed her.

  “Can we go for a walk?” she finally asked. “It’s such a beautiful day, and I think the best thing we can do is enjoy it. For your sister’s sake, okay?”

  They both stood and dumped their remaining food and wrappings into a nearby garbage can.

  Before they started down the grassy hill toward the river, he pulled her into another embrace. “Thanks for that. Sorry I unloaded on you. We were supposed to be blowing off steam, not creating more. I hope I didn’t ruin our day.”

  “Of course not.” She was touched he’d chosen to share such a personal experience with her. It had certainly given her a new view on both of their lives. She searched the depths of his eyes, amazed at how they mimicked the surprising depths of his soul. She skimmed his face with gentle fingertips.

  She’d meant the caress to be comforting, but the second she touched him, it sparked into something more. A flash of desire burned the sadness out of his gaze. She tried to remove her hand, but he quickly caught her and held her fist to his chest. She relaxed her fingers, his heartbeat thundering beneath her hand.

  “Janie,” he whispered as he drew closer.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sam’s mouth claimed hers as unbelievable heat flared inside Janie. His kiss was gentle, coaxing her to open for him. She tilted her head to access him better. He pulled her tighter to him, and she fisted his shirt in response. The slightest touch set her on fire, leaving her with little control.

  She didn’t know how he’d broken through her security measures so easily, but he had. Instead of following her first instinct and fighting the emotions he stirred in her, she allowed them to resonate inside her. A warmth like she’d never felt filled her, the intensity of it scaring her until she pulled away. She released a nervous laugh. “Wow,” she whispered.

  He grinned, apparently liking how he affected her. “I’d ask you if you liked that, too, but I can tell you did.”

  His playful arrogance made her laugh and broke the tension that had compounded inside her. “Are you sure about that?”

  “Pretty damn sure. If I wasn’t, I’d
kiss you again right here, right now.”

  She wanted to dare him to, but couldn’t. Instead, she smiled. “Fine. I liked it, okay?”

  He puffed out his chest. “I knew you did.” He held out the crook of his arm. “Let’s take a walk.”

  They couldn’t get super close to the river because of the train tracks that raced along the side of the massive Columbia. But that was okay with her. The river was so big and so deep, if she fell in, she’d be a goner.

  They walked for a ways in silence, and she couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about. Her? His sister? Their heated kiss? She had no clue where they’d take things from there, but then she decided she wouldn’t worry about that at the moment.

  She was learning there were good things in the world. Perhaps she just needed to let them come to her.

  He halted and used her forward momentum to twist her toward him. A mischievous grin tilted his mouth. “You know, I…” He hauled her to him and claimed her with scorching lips. She didn’t think he realized exactly how much his tender assault shook her to the core. She leaned into him as a gasp of pleasure escaped her. Then he set her aside just as quickly. “Sorry. I needed one more taste.” His gaze zoned in on her mouth again. An electric current tied her to him. Then he kissed her. “Make that two. I’ll behave now.”

  Lighthearted joy bubbled inside her. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

  “What? He put a hand on his chest and gave her a wounded look. “I swear. If you want another kiss, you’re going to have to make the move.”

  Warm excitement shot through her, but she didn’t answer and instead, sent him a teasing look.

  They made it down along the river and back to the motorcycle before she gave in. He took his helmet off the seat, and before he could put it on his head, she surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into her kiss.

  She made sure it was long and heated before she leaned away. “Didn’t want you to think I wasn’t interested.”