by Bri Izzo
“There’s nothing you can say or do-” I begin before he stops me. It’s an interruption that his lips create to make mine stop puking up words. It’s a 1-0 pitch; you never know if it’s going to be a strike or another ball. I sort of thought maybe he was going to kiss me, but I also considered he just really sucks in the romance department and wants to confuse me. The kiss is hard, but his lips are soft as are his hands placed on the back of my head and on my right side. I’m melting into him, like he’s Aladdin and I’m Jasmine sweating in my undercover disguise from being a princess. We finally found each other and he’s not intrigued by my royalty because he doesn’t know about it. He doesn’t stop kissing me when he needs a breath; it’s like now that he’s started this, he doesn’t want it to end. I know I don’t want it to ever end. I’m making out with the guy I’ve been in love with my entire life. He pulls me closer, almost as close as that night on the lake last summer when lake patrol caught us. I feel like I’m floating on a cloud, like this can’t be real. I want to have him pinch me, but he tastes too much like heaven to let go. Just when I think it can’t get any better, he slips his tongue into my mouth to gently brush mine. I hate that he’s clearly experienced, but I can feel his protectiveness anytime he’s with me, even when we’re losing ourselves in each other for the first time. After a few minutes he begrudgingly pulls our lips apart but rests his forehead inches from mine, and I assume he’s trying to read me.
“That should’ve been your fucking first kiss,” Skyler whispers passionately.
6 Skyler Swanson
This kiss is a long time coming, but apparently Buzz thinks differently. She looks completely blissed out, like she wants more, but her words are dead opposite.
“What about your girlfriend?” she blurts out, keeping her mouth slightly open like she’s mentally replaying our kiss. Damn that’s sexy.
“Seriously? You’re the closest thing I have to a girlfriend. I don’t know where you heard that shit from, but I’m not dating anyone,” I clarify as we head back to my Jeep and I take us back to my party. I can’t look at her without wanting to kiss her again, so I avoid looking at any part of her while driving. As we walk up the driveway I can’t take my eyes off of her; maybe when everyone leaves the party we can go in my room and make out some more. That would be the best fucking birthday present ever. For tonight being her first kiss, she’s pretty damn good at it. The only reason I ended our kiss was because I could barely breathe and her knees were about to buckle from under her.
Everyone at my party is horribly gossipy as we walk back into the house like we never left. Buzz was quiet the entire car ride, but she has a glowing radiance about her that tells me she’s soaking in what just happened on the baseball diamond. Over the years I’ve seen her do some crazy things that pump her adrenaline, which is one of her motivations for being so daring and adventurous. Seeing that her reaction to my kiss parallels those heart pumping moments she longs for makes it completely worth it.
However, her brother and our close friends don’t agree. At all. When we walk into my house, they’re the only ones standing in the kitchen waiting for us. Alex, Tiffany, and Benny are fuming, causing Buzz’s high to come down. I hate that they do that to her. Just fucking let her be happy.
“I need to talk to you,” Alex demands, pointing at me.
“Yeah, me too,” Benny chimes in. He’s calmer than Alex, which makes me feel better about escaping to a secluded room with them and no ally.
“Bianca, can I talk to you in the living room for a second?” Tiffany requests in a mumble, less forceful than the boys.
Before we go our separate ways and I can prepare for the beating I’m about to receive, I glance at Buzz to exchange a silent moment of encouragement. At least that’s what I hope it means because I know I’m going to need it. I wish they would do these interrogations together so I can hear what Tiffany is saying to Buzz, and we can team up against them all. They know we’re stronger together; that’s why they do it like this.
Alex and Benny pull me into the laundry room off the kitchen and slam the door. I assume it’s so no one can hear what they’re going to say, but apparently they don’t care. They’re as loud as Tom Hanks yelling, “There’s no crying in baseball!” in A League of Their Own.
“Where the fuck did you take her?” Alex yells. He never swears, so I know he’s seriously angry. He also knows how close Buzz and I are, so he has to think something horrible for him to be this upset.
“The baseball field,” I tell them both, but they clearly don’t believe me by the way they change into sarcasm.
“A home run on a baseball field! That’s perfect,” Alex sighs disgustedly as he throws his hands up in the air.
“Did you run all the bases or just go for the long ball?” Benny snaps. It’s like the three of us aren’t best friends or teammates and haven’t grown up together. He’s acting like Buzz is his actual sister; he’s more involved in her life than his own sister’s.
“Guys, what the fuck do you think I did?” I want to know before I just let them pummel me into the ground. They’re insinuating that Buzz and I had sex on the baseball field, which is absolutely crazy.
“Tell me you did not fuck my little sister,” Alex commands, and I swear I see steam coming out of his ears. I’m not sure how this rumor got started, but I’m about to put it to an end.
“For the smartest kid in our class, you’re pretty fucking stupid. Alex, I didn’t fuck your little sister. I didn’t fuck anyone,” I explain. “I took her out there to pitch to me. I’ve been helping her for almost a year.”
“Why wouldn’t she have asked Alex or Allen?” Benny questions me like I’m on trial in a court room. Because Buzz didn’t want her brother or dad to scold her.
“I’m a catcher. It just makes sense,” I claim.
“She looked pretty damn happy when you two walked in here just now,” Alex points out, still hung up on thinking me and his sister fucked on a baseball diamond. I guess I wouldn’t put it past us if I were them either; it sounds pretty fucking awesome and like something the two of us would totally do… if we were going to hook up. Buzz is and will always be more than that, though.
“She’s probably excited because she’s been pitching so well that she has a chance to make varsity as a freshman next year,” I confess.
“No way,” they chorus and then look at each other in confusion. They become more like brothers every fucking day. It’s starting to get creepy.
“Yes, but I don’t want to jinx it for her, so this stays between the three of us,” I request.
“So you’re not fucking my sister?” Alex clarifies, finally relaxing.
“No,” I confirm, my heart racing inside my chest so fast that I’m sure they could hear it if there wasn’t a party going on around us. But I did kiss her…
“Good because if you were I would kill you,” he threaten.
“She’s fourteen,” I announce as if we don’t already all know.
“She’ll be in high school in September, and I don’t want you getting any ideas,” Alex continues. “You grew up with her for God’s sake; she’s practically your sister.” Not the image I want in my mind right now.
When the party dies down and it’s only me and the guys and they all go to sleep, I text Buzz, hoping she’s still awake. She and Tiffany must’ve left before my interrogation was over because when I came out they were gone. This is the first chance I got to pull out my phone and text her; Alex and Benny were both watching me like I was a new episode of The League.
Me: You awake?
Buzz Ferrari: Yeah, why?
Me: You were gone when I came out from my trial with your brothers.
Buzz Ferrari: Tiff and I left. Sorry.
Me: Is everything okay?
Buzz Ferrari: Yeah.
Me: Are you lying?
Buzz Ferrari: Yeah…
Me: What’s wrong?
She never answers me. I don’t know what the fuck Tiffany or Alex said to he
r after my birthday party, but I know I don’t like the result of it. Next week we have a bunch of day games, and while Buzz usually sits on the bleachers behind me while I’m catching (and doesn’t think I know she chooses that spot on purpose), she doesn’t sit there at all. She paces back and forth behind the bleachers throughout all the games. As soon as the games end she gets on her bike and rides home, totally avoiding me, Alex, and Benny. By the looks of things she barely talks to Tiffany, too. When we’re packing the cars to head up north for the weekend to celebrate my birthday, Tiffany texts me.
Tiffany Locket: She’s not coming.
Me: WTF, why not?
Tiffany Locket: She said she’s staying at Chloe’s house instead.
Me: Why?
Tiffany Locket: I don’t know.
Me: Yes, you do. Fucking tell me.
Tiffany Locket: It’s probably about your party last weekend.
Me: What did you say to her?
Tiffany Locket: Just to be careful because you’ve been friends for so long.
Me: I’m not going to fucking hurt her.
Tiffany Locket: I didn’t say you would. I just said be careful.
“Sky, we’re leaving!” my mom calls upstairs to me. I hear her grabbing the last of the food bags on the kitchen counter and lightly closing the garage door behind her.
When I come outside, everyone is already in the Explorer just waiting for me. I walk up to the driver side window to my dad and ask, “Is it okay if I drive up myself?”
My parents exchange a look after noticing the dark skies down the road, and my mom says that it’s my dad’s call. “You think you’re ready for a long trip already?” he questions me seriously. If I say yes, he’ll let me do it.
“Yeah,” I answers firmly, allowing no hesitation.
Sighing a big burly breath, my dad announces, “There’s another GPS in the study. Let us know when you’re leaving and lock up. We’ll see you up there.”
“Thank you,” I tell them both.
As soon as they pull away and head down the street, I call Buzz on my way back inside the house. After three rings, she answers.
“Hey, what’s up?” she replies chipperly. She’s totally faking it.
“Are you at home?” I hope.
“Yeah, but not for long,” she tells me.
“Don’t leave until I get there,” I order her. And I hang up before she can refute.
Literally two minutes later, I lock the doors and have the GPS and my bag in the Jeep heading towards the Ferrari household. I pray that everyone has already left and Buzz will be alone. Alex will kill me if he knows I’m upset that she isn’t coming to the cabin. Maybe because it’s an extension of my birthday, I luck out on my prayer being answered. Walking up to her front door, my only goal is to get her in the Jeep with me so we can go to the cabin with everyone else like every other time.
“Hey, c’mon in,” she greets me with a bounce in her step.
“What’s this I hear about you not coming to the cabin?” I get straight to the point.
“I didn’t think it was such a good idea,” she drops her cheery act and mumbles as she turns away from me.
“Who fucking gave that to you?” I wonder, staring at her body language from behind. Relax. She wants to come. She feels like it’s not her choice.
“Gave what to me?” she asks, turning back to look at me.
“That horrible idea,” I snicker.
“Rex, Benny, you, Tiffany - stop me any time because the list goes on,” she throws back at me. Her attitude shows that she respects everyone she listed, including me, but that none of us are giving her what she wants to hear. It’s just so unlike her to do something because that’s what she thinks everyone around her wants.
“Buzz, I know I speak for everyone when I say we want you there,” I argue lightly. “You’re a big part of our group. Fuck, you’re the fun part of it.”
“I don’t want to cause any problems with anyone. If I go, that’s all I’ll do,” she tries convincing me.
“You’re way too selfless,” I blurt out.
“No, I’m not. I’m selfish. That’s how I got into this mess,” she disagrees, running her hand through her long straightened hair. She’s trying to torture me. She’s standing up abnormally straight so her legs look a mile long in her short shorts, and her hair is flowing gorgeously all the way down her back.
“What do you want, Buzz?” I ask her, trying to ignore her slight movements that are having a large affect on me. I step closer so my chest is almost touching her shoulder blades, but I refrain from touching her for many reasons. If I lay a finger on her I’ll have to kiss her again. I have very minimal self control around her once I’m touching her. The night of my birthday proved that. Her breath catches as she feels my nearer presence, and I have to take a step back.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” she insists.
“What about what I want?” I throw that out as bait, hoping she’ll bite. “It’s my birthday weekend; I fucking want you there.”
Her big hazel eyes glare up at me over her shoulder like she’s a toddler awaiting her punishment. When I don’t budge on my stance behind her, she caves. “Fine. But… one condition.”
“What’s that, sweetheart?” I tease her. She knows whatever it is, I’ll agree to it.
“What happened at your birthday party… nothing like it can happen again,” she states firmly. I applaud her effort to be mature and try to please everyone even if it means she isn’t happy herself, but I see right through her. She wants it to happen again just as badly as I do.
“Deal,” I confirm to her demands. I may not be able to kiss her, but there are other things I can do to flirt with her until I get her and everyone else to come around.
7 Bianca Ferrari
It doesn’t really take too much effort, but Skyler convinces me to go up to the cabin for his family birthday weekend after all. I wasn’t sure exactly where we stood with each other after his birthday party, but I knew my brother wasn’t happy with us. I’m hoping this weekend I can get back to thinking straight. Ever since Skyler kissed me I’ve been so messed up going back and forth between whether or not it’s a good idea to get into something beyond friendship with him.
Gloomy and dark skies await us up ahead. I usually love thunderstorms, but Skyler has had his license for barely a week, and we’re already heading into a two hour drive filled with storms. I don’t want to panic because it will possibly make him nervous, so I’m just lightly gripping onto the door.
“You okay?” he wonders, observing my defensive movement. The rain is splattering down all around us but visibility is still decent. When I nod silently, he sees right through me. “Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure,” I reply wearily.
I assume he wants me to text his parents or something, but instead he orders, “Reach into the backseat in my duffle bag and grab my sweatshirt that’s laying on top.”
“It’s June, and you’re bringing a sweatshirt to the lake?” I question as I loosen the seat belt and turn around to dig in his bag.
“I knew it was going to storm, which usually makes the temperature drop. Besides, you know our parents love to crank the A.C.,” he informs me. Rolling my eyes, I tug the sweatshirt out and throw it over the seat and into my lap. Before I can ask if he wants to wear it, he tells me, “Put it on.”
“What?” I reply, scrunching my eyebrows at him in confusion. With the air conditioning pouring out of the vents and the storm brewing above us, I’m cold with a mix of nervous hot flashes. I want to know that everything is going to be okay. I know it’s ironic that as a daredevil I’m afraid of riding in a storm, but everything is out of my control and that’s what makes me nervous. I also want to make sure everything is going to be okay between me and Skyler and all of our siblings and friends. I hate this “every person for his or her self” shit we’re playing.
“Put it on,” he repeats.
Still confused, I oblige to his odd requ
est and suddenly am grateful to be wrapped in what feels like a giant teddy bear hug. It’s a zip up hoodie that’s extra fuzzy like a lamb on the inside. I’m drowning in it, but it only makes me feel more snuggly.
“How is this a favor for you?” I wonder, stretching the sleeves so my fingers can feel the fuzzy inside, too.
“I want you to feel safe, and since I can’t even fucking hold your hand right now because I’m using both of mine to drive, I was hoping my sweatshirt would make you feel okay and be able to trust me,” he explains. He lets this idea sink into my head and then asks, “Better?” It’s definitely the most heartfelt thing I’ve ever witnessed him do; well, besides tackle me away from the bunny and let it bite him instead of me. Is Skyler Swanson getting soft?
Actually I’m pretty sure he’s just as nervous as I appear. I’m not as anxious as I look because I know if something happens to me, Skyler will be right here next to me. It’s us against this storm…
The rain turns into a downpour as thunder and lightning crackle around us, but I nod truthfully. When the radio starts to get fuzzy ten minutes later, I can’t determine if it’s from the storm or from crossing county lines, but it makes me a little paranoid.
“Sky, you can see okay, right?” I try to ask calmly.
“Yeah, I got my lights on,” he assures me. I reach to switch the radio station and a clearer one comes in so I leave it alone and breathe deeply. “If you want me to get off and let some of this pass, I will.”
“Just if it gets any worse,” I tell him. I have to trust that he’ll keep me safe.
We drive for about a half hour until we’re directly in the storm’s eye. Before I can even ask, Skyler is slowly getting off at the next exit. He pulls into a nearby Ma and Pa diner parking lot.
“You want to eat or just sit here and wait it out?” he offers me.
“Let’s eat,” I decide, throwing the hood of his sweatshirt over my head. We both get wet just going the twenty feet from his Jeep to the door of the diner, but it’s only enough to make us cold. When the waitress escorts us both to a booth, Skyler follows me into one side like we’re waiting for two more people to join us. Except we aren’t.