Full Count (The Catcher Series Book 1)

by Bri Izzo

  “Buzz,” he replies back.

  “I thought we couldn’t,” I recall. I’m thankful that he hasn’t released his hands from me or else I’ll probably crash onto the ground.

  “And why not? Because of what everyone else says?” he questions me with his signature sternness on his handsome face. He makes it so easy to want him excruciatingly bad. Any guilt is washed from his face. Skyler… just… wants me?

  Shrugging, I answer, “You told McCallum we weren’t-”

  “And we weren’t. Not officially. But now… things are… different,” Skyler confesses, but his lips stay straight across with no sign of a smile coming. He’s so serious, and I can feel it on my skin. I’m trying to process what he’s saying; we weren’t officially… dating… a month ago, but now things are different? I’ve always wanted him as more than a friend. I just never thought I could really have him in that way. He’s looking at me right now as if he’ll be so hurt if I deny him. This isn’t his guilty conscience talking; it’s his heart. “If you’re worried about what people might say-”

  Brushing my thumb over his neck hair, I quietly shake my head and flirt, “Us against them, who wins?” My smile takes over my face as I await the usual response. I don’t give two shits what other people are going to say. Hell, even if Skyler loses his job as my official pitching coach, he’ll still do it off the field. If he wants to do this… whatever this is… “officially” be with me, I cannot say no for any reason. Every younger version of me would hate me.

  He adds his favorite word to our saying to make sure I understand. “Us. Every. Fucking. Time,” he counters. He sweeps his lips over mine once more but it’s a much quicker interaction than the previous one that I want on replay the entire night. Damn I like that answer.

  “How?” I ask.

  “How what?” he throws back. I start to wonder if he ever blinks because his eyes are glued on mine like he’s winning a staring contest. His guilt appears to be gone, so it’s fine by me if he looks at me like this all night long.

  “How… can this… happen?” I stumble on my words since I’m not exactly sure what Skyler wants, but I’m pretty sure it’s specifically against what Coach McCallum wants.

  “We’ll have to keep it a secret for a little while,” he admits in a begrudging manner. His shoulders slacken but his eyes stay on me to register my reaction. I feel like I’m on a ventilator; the air is being shoved into my lungs in an almost suffocating way and I can’t breathe normally even if I try. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” he demands nervously.

  “I’m thinking I don’t want to be a secret again,” I mutter as I control a deep breath. It kind of seems like I’m denying him, which isn’t my intention, but what I say is true. Being a secret sucks. “I’ve always been a secret: with you before and then with Chase. And I always end up getting hurt. How do I know you won’t hurt me?”

  “I know. I wish it wasn’t a big fucking deal to McCallum, but it is. I want to be your pitching coach again, but I want to be with you more,” he proclaims. Skyler Swanson is in a league of his own. He hits his answer so far out of the ballpark that it’s in Lake Michigan. I’m swooning so hard for him. “I won’t hurt you,” he pleads.

  “Sky…” I warn.

  “B, you’re my girl-” he starts, and I just want to hear the sound of his voice owning me on repeat forever.

  “I know,” I tell him, interrupting his perfect declaration. I know? I mean, I guess I kind of always had a feeling, but I wasn’t really sure.

  “I’m sorry… you know that you’re my girl?” he repeats with equal disbelief, and I instantly blush. He caught me. I know we have chemistry and flirt a lot, and I’ve always considered myself to be his. However, he didn’t know this, and I didn’t know he considered me his, too.

  “Yes. Everyone knows,” a voice behind Skyler laughs.

  Busted.

  30 Skyler Swanson

  Tiffany is a fucking life ruiner. It’s like she has a radar in her head of whenever Buzz and I are having a real moment, and she has to come personally destroy any hopes of it actually playing out.

  “What? You two are attached at the eyes,” Tiffany continues her intrusion when she joins us outside on the patio during the dance. Go the fuck away.

  “Is there a fucking reason you decided it was a good time to interrupt our conversation?” I snarl at her. Buzz hangs back and watches us banter back and forth; it’s one of her guilty pleasures that I can read all over her face.

  “Is there a reason you decided to be such a fucking asshole?” Tiffany barks back, but she knows better than to hope for an actual answer from me. She resumes her interruption: “The guys are coming out here. I thought I’d spare you having to explain whatever ‘this’ is to them.”

  “Tiff-” I call out to her in an annoyed tone, wondering how much she fucking heard of our conversation before she made her presence known. But then the rest of the crew trickles outside. This makes Buzz step away from me, but it’s to go greet her brother with a hug.

  “I noticed you were both gone. I thought maybe something happened,” Alex explains to Buzz. I know he’s concerned about her, just like I am, but his definition of something happening isn’t always on the same page as mine. At the moment I’m not sure if he means something happening with Buzz or with Buzz and me. Either way he needs to back the fuck off. I’ll take care of his sister if he would just let me.

  “The music was too loud inside. It’s better out here though,” she grins, like the solution to her noise problem is her greatest accomplishment. In a way, it is; instead of complaining, she did something to change her situation, to make it better. Add that to the list of things that make her fucking incredible.

  “Hey, she alright?” Benny whispers to me as we stand a few feet away from the bonding siblings. It’s cute, really, that even at sixteen and seventeen when most siblings hate each other that Buzz and Alex are so close. But it also complicates things.

  Nodding, I confirm, “Yeah. It really was just the music. I’m just going to stay out here with her for as long as she wants.”

  “We can all stay out here,” he suggests. The resemblance of facial expressions between Alex and Benny is so apparent right now that I actually do a double take. He could easily pass at Buzz’s brother, too, with his dark brown hair and bright eyes. Even Benny and Alex’s jaws have the same bone structure, hard and narrow. It makes me feel like I have to get the approval of both brothers in this situation.

  “We’re staying out here? Thank God,” Sam groans as he sits on top of one of the picnic tables. Unfortunately he’s my clone; however, his personality couldn’t make him appear more different. He’s super awkward, and I’m, well… not.

  And for the rest of the night our group chills outside on the patio away from everyone else. I can tell that Buzz enjoys having the support of her best friends and brother, and personally, it helps me in making her feel better for a night.

  Once the final song rings out we disperse to our cars and head to the Ferrari household for our quiet after party. I’m pretty sure Benny finagles this so he can see Baylee, but I secretly hope she’s in bed by the time we get there. Of course, she’s fucking waiting up for him.

  “Why are they still a thing?” I quietly ask Alex once we get into his basement and start emptying the pantry of snacks.

  We both look over at Benny twirling Baylee around like they’re ballroom dancing. She must feel left out that we just attended a dance. “Probably because you and I have been focusing so much on Bianca, they saw their opportunity to do it without getting drilled,” Alex offers a reasonable explanation.

  “Not an image I want in my mind,” I whine, the dirty concept clearly on the forefront.

  “There’s something wrong with you. I didn’t mean it like that,” he argues. His face grows uneasy, and I’m glad we’re on the same wavelength again.

  “Mean what like what?” Benny butts in as he reaches between me and Alex for a bag of chips.

  “We
need a guys’ night,” I cover up, giving Alex a “just play along” kind of look.

  “Yeah, just a night of cards - no girls,” Alex agrees, staring into his twin’s eyes.

  “Okay. When, Friday?” Benny suggests. He’s completely oblivious that this no-girls-allowed club meeting is mostly to keep him away from a future jail visit.

  “Sure. My house; 7:00,” I tell them. No way will we be able to have a guys’ night at the Ferraris’ if Buzz and Baylee are home, and Benny’s house is no better with Tiffany there.

  Tonight we’re in the middle of watching late night re-runs of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when I notice everyone but me has passed out. I’m sitting on one side of the giant cushion with Buzz sprawled over my lap and see Leah and Alex spooning under a blanket, Tiffany and Sam under their own blankets and about a foot apart from each other, and Baylee curled into Benny’s chest with a leg draped over his waist. Everyone looks so natural and comfortable, except for me, of course, because I’m sitting straight up. Tiffany’s feet are a few inches above Buzz’s head, and all I can imagine is her kicking her in her sleep.

  I scoop Buzz into my arms and start carrying her up the stairs so she can sleep safely and comfortably in her own bed. After the accident I never asked Buzz how much of that day she remembers: if she remembers hitting the dock, me carrying her, or anything in the hospital. It just doesn’t matter. But tonight as I carry her the same way I carried her the day of the accident, she actually opens her eyes in a panic.

  “Sky,” she whimpers.

  “Yes, sweetheart?” I answer calmly, stopping on the bottom stair of the main level about to go up to her bedroom. If she’s going to squirm I’d rather not be climbing stairs while she’s doing it.

  “What’s going on? Am I okay?” she wonders in a daze, but I’m glad it’s only sleepiness taking over her and not pain. Her voice is trusting; she knows if something’s wrong I’ll take care of her, and that’s the best feeling in the world.

  “You’re fine,” I chuckle quietly. Her eyes slowly close after my statement, like she’s a tired newborn.

  “Then why are you carrying me?” she grins.

  “Because you’re tired and I want you to sleep in your bed,” I explain, resuming my journey up the stairs to her room. She already changed into comfortable clothes once we returned from the dance, so all I have to do is lie her down and pull the covers over her. I let my kiss linger on her forehead for too long because all it does is make me want to stay with her. But I know I can’t, so I stand up and head for the door, hitting the lights off while I watch her squirm around for a moment.

  “Sky?” she calls out, reaching her arm across her bed to the empty space next to her. Damn it.

  “B, you’re okay. Just go to sleep,” I command even though I want nothing more than to lie next to her. I know when I go downstairs I’ll spend the whole night worrying about her, but one of the Ferrari house rules is that only family members sleep upstairs. Even though I’m pretty much family, the rule still fucking applies to me.

  “Come here,” she whispers loudly, using her finger to direct me towards her. She’s killing me, but I can’t deny her. It’s not in my genes.

  “You know I can’t stay,” I remind her as I crawl onto her bed. This is a horrible idea.

  “I know. But we never got to finish our conversation at the dance,” she mumbles.

  “What, that I want you to be mine?” I summarize myself from earlier. Her short term memory still isn’t the greatest, but I’ll never fucking hold that against her. I’ll tell her I want her to be mine a hundred times a day if she keeps forgetting.

  “But in secret?” she adds in a devastated manner. This girl is determined to break my fucking heart, I swear.

  “Just for now; for a little while,” I sigh, hoping she’ll understand. I’m using all of my self control to not touch her even a little bit, not even a gentle hand brush on her cheek. “Unless you don’t want me to be your coach anymore. I’m all in, B. I’ll fucking quit if it means I can have you.”

  “No, I want you as my coach,” she whines, but she’s smiling so it’s tolerable. “But this has to be a secret from everyone, even Rex?”

  Fuck. The moment of truth. “Yes. He’s not exactly crazy about the idea of us being together,” I remind her.

  “But he let us go to homecoming together,” she points out with a positive expression like she truly believes that’s the only confirmation we need for him to accept this. She’s wrong though.

  “I know. But full on dating is different. We have to be careful,” I warn her.

  Her head nods, showing she acknowledges what’s at stake. “He’ll have to choose sides if it doesn’t work out or lose both of us,” she determines.

  I drill my eyes into hers, furious that she even mentions that we won’t work out. What the fuck? Why does she think that already? That’s not okay. We’ve been best friends for years, and she’s acting like if we separate it won’t kill her. “It’ll fucking work out. Don’t worry about that,” I promise her.

  “What if he finds out and makes you choose between me and him?” she wonders, worry making her eyes and lip tremble. Where is she getting this shit from, Samantha? Jesus.

  “He won’t do that. But if he does, I’ll choose you, B,” I declare. And I mean it.

  “I don’t want your whole life to revolve around me,” she says, and it’s cute to hear her be selfless. I think part of why she has always liked me is because her brother is friends with me, like he thinks I’m cool enough to be around so she does, too.

  “Do you not want to be mine then?” I offer another alternative, one I fucking hate. “Because you’re coming up with a lot of excuses.”

  She pulls on the collar of my t-shirt and brings me only a breath away from her. Our noses touch, but our lips are separated still. “I’ve always been yours,” she seduces me. Her eyes dart back and forth between mine, and God, I fucking lose it. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who fucking thinks she’s always been mine. “But I need you to be sure about everything, including telling me things I need to know, even if they might upset me.”

  “I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure because I can’t risk losing you. We either do this and get married or we don’t do this at all. It’s all or nothing,” I tell her.

  “I want it all,” she confirms.

  I reach to hold the back of her neck as I drop my lips onto hers. She tastes as good as a home cooked meal, something I always cherish. The feeling of her hands running all over me lights me on fire. She goes from almost completely passed out to sexually turned on in less than two minutes, and I fucking love it. I guess hearing that someone wants to call you theirs can flip the switch immediately.

  In the next moment I can completely confirm this statement.

  As I hover on top of her, careful not to press my body weight on her, she throws her head back to extend her neck, which I take as an invitation to kiss her there. My lips peck at her skin, hoping for a shiver to run down her spine. Seeing her like this is so new yet so familiar from all the years of thinking about it.

  “Skyler Swanson,” she moans, a little out of breath. Holy shit does she make my name sound good. “I want you to be mine.”

  I stop kissing her neck so I can look into her moonlit eyes. Her blinds are open giving us the appropriate amount of light for our mood. “I am yours,” I promise her. Then I grab her hips and pull them up towards mine as my arousal presses onto her, only our shorts separating us. That’s when I realize this is the first sexual encounter beyond kissing that Buzz and I have ever shared. I half expect it to be weird - we grew up together, after all. The fantasy could’ve been better than the reality. But damn, it’s perfect with her. It almost doesn’t feel real.

  When I pull away from her for a second, Buzz already has her hand ready to go down the front of my pants. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to do anything, that just knowing she’s mine is enough, but then her hand touches my bare skin
under my boxers, and my mind goes blank. Just the little teasing stroke she makes with one finger along my length fucking excites me. I go in for a kiss and our tongues simultaneously connect, and the abundance of contact we have with each other’s bodies is invigorating. It’s like we have been doing this together for years even though she’s touching me there for just the first time ever.

  Before I know it Buzz pulls my shorts off, leaving me only in my boxers. She has seen me in them numerous times; every time she sleeps over that’s what I wear to bed. But this is so damn different. I can see the passion in her eyes as they scale me up and down. Then her shirt flies over her head, exposing her strapless bra that’s cupping her breasts. She isn’t in a bikini top parading her toned body down by the lake or outside at her pool; she’s in a fucking bra for my eyes only. I lean down and brush my lips over each breast before magnetizing our lips together again. Her breath deepens and quickens, and it almost feels like we’re doing CPR on each other as we exchange kisses. Every kiss brings me a new life.

  I drop my elbows to either side of her head as I slither my fingers into her tangled hair and gently graze my thumb over her scar before kissing it. Pulling my lips back allows us to both catch our breath and for me to get on her thought wavelength. I know she’s daring, but sex isn’t something to be taken lightly. I don’t know her sexual expectations with this. It kind of feels like she wants to go all in, but I don’t want to risk fucking us up that quickly by moving too fast. Sex has the power to do that, unfortunately.

  “How’s your head feelin’?” I ask her. I seriously hope she’s still okay and we can continue making out because I’m so severely turned on. If she isn’t a hundred percent, though I’ll stop immediately and suck up having blue balls. I love her enough to make any sacrifice necessary.

  She has grown to love when I massage her head, so I give her a little one while I wait for her answer. “Besides a million things running through it, it’s fine,” she tells me, closing her eyes to absorb my touch on her head.