Capturing Shadow [Cowboys and Werewolves 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Morgan Fox

  Her dry throat constricted.

  “Because she loves me, too,” Julian said from behind her.

  She snapped her gaze around to see him standing nearby. Inhaling deeply, she returned her gaze to Gavin. She was surprised to see him calm, his expression blank. She assumed that he would be ready to fight Julian again. Instead, Gavin just stared at her.

  “I want to hear the reason from her,” Gavin murmured.

  Shadow’s heart felt as though it would explode from her chest, her body pulsing with awareness. She hadn’t released her hold on Gavin’s hand and he hadn’t pulled away.

  She closed her eyes as his fingers played in her hair and the back of his knuckles skimmed over the heated skin of her cheek. She opened her eyes and the silver glow within Gavin’s gaze fired her blood. Her own wolf purred in her mind, reveling in his touch.

  “I’m in love with you both.”

  Gavin’s lips pressed together and he gave her a curt nod. “That’s what I figured you’d say.” He settled back onto the chair and folded his arms over his chest. “Where does that leave us?” His hard stare shot to Julian.

  Julian moved closer and grabbed a blanket off the back of the sofa and moved to place it over Shadow.

  Gavin waved his hand. “Don’t,” he warned.

  Julian slowly nodded and tossed the blanket back on the sofa.

  “Why?” Shadow asked, feeling his wolf’s need to see her body bare before him. The heat of her skin warmed the closer she sat to him.

  Gavin’s gaze narrowed. “I want to see what belongs to me,” he said matter-of-factly, leaning forward and cupping her cheek. “You do belong to me, don’t you?”

  She licked her lips and her heart fluttered wildly. “I would belong with you even if you weren’t my alpha.” She gripped his wrist before he could move it away. Her eyes stung with tears. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m ashamed that I couldn’t resist the temptations in my heart.” She sniffled.

  “Are you really?”

  His question surprised her.

  “Which one of us would you give up to eliminate your confusion?”

  Neither!

  Her immediate thought echoed in her mind. She would rather die than make that decision. She shook her head, refusing to answer.

  Gavin scoffed. “Come on, Shadow. One of us must hold your heart just a little closer to the breast than the other.”

  She shook her head again, swallowing the nervousness rising up in her throat.

  “Then maybe we should settle the matter for you.” Gavin’s gaze shifted to Julian. “Maybe we should fight to the death.” He returned his gaze to her. “The winner gets to have you.”

  “No,” she shouted, rising to her feet.

  Gavin arched a brow, his gaze drinking her in. “Then you decide.”

  “I can’t,” she admitted, her voice trembling.

  “Why not,” Gavin bit out.

  “I want you both. I love you both.” More tears. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”

  Gavin growled. Standing tall, he grabbed her by her shoulders. “What. If. I. Can’t. Share. You,” he asked through gritted teeth, stressing each word.

  “What if I can,” Julian countered, moving to stand beside them.

  She couldn’t breathe, sensing the challenge from Julian to Gavin. She shivered. Her life was spiraling further out of control.

  “This is why I wanted to leave,” she whimpered.

  Gavin’s intense stare burned into her soul. She took a step back, but Gavin moved with her.

  “No, it’s not,” Gavin blurted out, annoyance etched on his face. “This is just typical Shadow, piling up on the hundreds of excuses you already have to hightail it out of here.”

  Julian’s fingers teased the skin of her arm. “You can’t run from this,” Julian added. “We won’t let you.”

  She frowned. “What, now you’re both ganging up on me?” She shrugged trying to free herself from their touch. “I’m not running. I’m saving us all from heartbreak and disappointment.”

  Gavin laughed, the sound almost a growl. “No, you’re running away like you always do when things get tough. You’ve been running from your life since I met you. You are never happy. You fight with your sister over shit I’ll never understand and you constantly find reason to put a wedge between us. I don’t even know what you’ve done to him.” Gavin jabbed Julian with his gaze. “I’m sure it’s no different than what you’ve done with the rest of us.”

  Shadow’s jaw quivered. “If I’m such a pain in the ass, why do you even bother?”

  Gavin’s gaze grew furious. “Are you serious?” he snapped. “I’m fucking in love with your crazy, emotionally derelict ass.” He released her and shoved a stiff hand through his hair. “Why else would I let you torture me this way?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Tears drowned her eyes as he brushed back the tousled hair from her face. Gavin stroked her cheek with his thumb, his voice low as he told her, “If it were possible to sever the wolf bond I would in a second if I thought that was all it would take to find peace again. But my wolf is not the problem here, Shadow. My heart is.” Gavin’s eyes glistened. “I love you too much to walk away without trying.”

  Shadow’s gaze narrowed. “What if I can’t…don’t…want to be without Julian?” She inhaled deeply, her heart squeezing tight. “Would you try to force us apart?”

  Gavin’s hands dropped to his sides. “Do I truly have a choice?” His gaze darted to Julian. “Other than killing him?”

  She frowned. “Stop teasing.”

  “Who said I was?”

  Julian cleared his throat. “You tried earlier,” he reminded Gavin.

  “Yes, I did, and you should really thank Silence for the fact that you’re still breathing.”

  Julian frowned.

  Her throat closed in and her heart sank to her belly. Gavin’s cold stare turned her inside out. She’d had enough of the games he was playing. She moved from his arms and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped herself in it.

  Gavin’s brow rose as he watched her. Steeling herself, she told him, “Don’t say anything about it.”

  His darkening eyes narrowed. “But I didn’t give you—”

  “I don’t care that you didn’t give me permission. You might be the alpha in this relationship but I’m no subordinate either.”

  His jaw clenched tight and he eradicated the distance between them in a single stride. “But you are my mate.”

  “But why do you even want me? I’ve only managed to make you miserable.” She wiped the fallen tears from her cheek. “I’m a disappointment to you…and don’t deny it, I can see and feel it for myself. You hate what I’ve done to you and I hate myself, but I don’t know how to change.” She glanced toward Julian. “I wouldn’t even if I could. I’ve loved Julian for as long as I can remember. I just never thought it was worth it.”

  “What?” Gavin and Julian asked in unison.

  Gavin blew out a harsh breath. “Oh, boohoo,” he said, rolling his eyes at her. “You think because you lost your family before you should’ve you’re entitled to act like a brat?” He balled up his hands. “I’m sick to death with all your emotional bullshit and your need to run from me, run from things that are serious in your life. You couldn’t even stick around Silent Falls with a fucking hurricane charging up our asses. You ran to be alone. And for the life of me I can’t figure out why.” He growled. “I’ve made my feelings for you known several times in the past and you’ve rejected me time and again. If anyone has the right to be an asshole it’s me.”

  Gavin tilted his chin to stare up at the ceiling and slowly released a breath of air. The tension in his face told her that he was frustrated. She was an emotional mess, but she’d never taken the time to analyze exactly why that was.

  When her parents died, Silence had stepped up and embraced the role as the elder sister, sliding in to become the town sheriff, while Shadow selfishly
remained focused on only herself. She hadn’t taken the time to even grieve over the loss of her parents. Her mother had been the anchor that kept their family together and her father was the protective strength that made falling asleep at night so much easier.

  She remembered a night when she had a bad dream and her father came rushing in to hold her. He had taken all the bad dreams away with just his presence, and with the soft sweep of his fingers that brushed back her bed-tousled hair. His gentle voice lulled her like nothing else could.

  There was something incredibly powerful about a father’s love that could instantly melt a daughter’s heart. Her dad had been her hero and when he and her mother had died, nothing mattered anymore. She’d simply started walking through life robotically, and fighting with Silence had become second nature. Where her sister had dealt with their parent’s death, Shadow never had.

  Shadow couldn’t hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She finally realized why she’d been unable to commit to Gavin and why she’d always kept Julian at arm’s length. She feared being alone, but sadly that’s how she spent most of her time.

  She dropped onto the sofa and sobbed. Her hands covered her face as every emotion she’d every suppressed was released. She was alone, and her parents were gone. The fear of losing Silence, Gavin, or Julian had been too much to comprehend and it had been easier to resist the desires of her heart than to embrace them.

  * * * *

  Gavin ground his teeth together, hating that he’d been such a jerk. He sat beside Shadow and placed his arm around her, pulling her up against him. She trembled, her heavy sobs destroying him.

  “Shadow,” he breathed, grinding his teeth.

  Julian sat on the other side of her, twisting to place his hand over hers. “Let it out, Shadow. Let it all go.”

  Gavin wished he didn’t appreciate the comfort that Julian offered her, but he did. The fae prince wasn’t a complete nuisance. In fact, even as much as Gavin wanted to deny it, Julian was just the opposite.

  Gavin was also shocked at the calmness that consumed him as his gaze lingered on Julian’s hand clasped with Shadow’s. He was stunned that he didn’t have the need to tear Julian’s head clean off for touching her. Normally, his beast would’ve demanded he do just that.

  Could I actually do what Walker was able to do with Silence and Lance? Could I share the woman I love, my mate, with another man?

  Rattled by his thoughts, he shook his head, unclear of his own desires.

  “Shhh, baby. It’s gonna be okay,” Julian told her with his mouth pressed to her hair.

  The three of them sat so close, and strangely a soothing tranquility settled over him. Gavin had struggled for so long to find peace in his life and the night he’d come to her, the night the demon nearly killed him, he realized he’d never obtain that happiness without Shadow by his side. She was the calm in the storm of his emotions, the one that could destroy him, and the one that could make him a better man. She was the air that gave him life, and the blood that filled his heart. Nothing would ever change that, even sharing her with Julian.

  Gavin didn’t know how the three of them would make it work, but he was determined to try. “Shadow?” His voice was gruff and shaky.

  Her gaze lifted to meet his, tears clinging to her long, dark lashes. The redness in her eyes and cheeks burned him right down into his soul. He cupped her face in his hands and brushed away the tears. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

  “You were right,” she whimpered. “I’ve acted like a brat and I’ve treated you unfairly. The pain of my parent’s death hollowed me. I tried so hard not to need you…not to want you as I do.” She rubbed her face against his opened palm. Each time she did that, a piece of his hard shell chipped away. “I thought it would be easier than the risk of…”

  “Shadow,” he breathed, feeling the heavy burden she carried in her heart. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Her eyes widened. “That demon could’ve killed you. Then what would I have done? How could I go on in life without you? My heart couldn’t take it.” She shook her head. “Not again.”

  Gavin felt the warmth of her breath on his face and dipped his head down to brush his lips over hers in a tender kiss. “The demon didn’t kill me,” he reminded her and with a snicker added, “and I didn’t kill Julian.”

  She smiled through the tears.

  * * * *

  Julian marveled at Gavin’s strength. He was not only a man, but a powerful lycan with the heart of a lion. The might and control of Gavin’s wolf surrounded the three of them and instead of alienating Julian it welcomed him into its protective and loyal embrace.

  Julian knew that he would never be enough for Shadow. She was a lycan and would need her mate. He would be a fool to think otherwise, but it didn’t change the fact that, like Gavin, sharing Shadow wasn’t an easy request. But the one thing Julian knew was that he never wanted to be without her. Having her in his life was as vital as the blood that flowed through his veins. A life without Shadow would leave him searching for the light that would fill his empty soul.

  His fingers stroked the back of her hand and the power of the fae people tingled into his flesh. She was so much more than she realized and once she stopped battling against herself and accepted the love they could share, she would finally know her destiny.

  Julian sighed with relief, knowing that Shadow needed him just as much as she needed Gavin. Hearing her admit her love for them both had turned his body inside out. If Gavin hadn’t been in his way, he would’ve kissed her so hard he would’ve left her breathless. Making love to Shadow had filled a part of him that he never wanted void again.

  Gavin might be able to satisfy her wolf’s desires, but she was magic kind too, and only he would be able to show her the power that flowed through her veins. He’d felt the intense energy of her magic charge through them as she came face-to-face with the demon fae. It was her strength that sent him away. Only together could they defeat Eblis. He was sure of it.

  Julian brushed back Shadow’s golden hair and kissed the crook of her neck. Gavin eyed him, but Julian didn’t care. He wanted Shadow, and would take all the ass kicking he had to, to prove it. His fingers trailed over the flesh of her arm and shoulder, moving back down to her legs. He curled the blanket up in his fists and parted the fabric to reveal the smooth skin of her thigh.

  Shadow reached down and grabbed his hand as it pressed against her hot flesh. “Wait,” she said quickly, her eyes shifting from Julian’s hand back up to Gavin.

  With an arched brow, Julian met Gavin’s narrowed gaze head-on. The lycan glanced down and cupped the side of Shadow’s face, kissing her lips. “It’s okay,” he said, giving Julian all the permission he needed to continue.

  Shadow caressed Gavin’s cheek. “Are you sure?”

  Gavin nodded and kissed her again.

  Julian knew this was the hardest thing Gavin had ever had to do. It was no different for him. But the choice was simple, love her together or be separate without her. Julian pushed aside his own fevered jealousy and chose Shadow. He would always choose her.

  Julian placed a dozen tender kisses along her shoulder, the warmth of her skin and the scent of her body teasing him. Shadow’s grip on his wrist loosened as he slid his hand over her smooth flesh.

  While Gavin feasted on her mouth, Julian slowly eased his hand up under the blanket. His searching fingers explored her thighs and hips. Gently, he encouraged her to part her legs and delighted in the discovery of her moist heat.

  She gasped as he teased her clit, delicately stroking her body. With perfect care, he raised her thigh up over his, opening her up for more pleasure. He tenderly plunged his finger into the depths of her body, gliding in and out.

  Gavin shifted beside her, his hand resting on the edge of the blanket just below her arms. “Take this off,” he demanded softly and she immediately raised her arms and he opened the blanket, shoving it off her body. “That’s better.”

&
nbsp; Gavin leaned forward and took her nipple into his mouth. Shadow’s hand came up to hold Gavin’s head in place as he sucked and pleasured her breasts. Julian groaned, his cock hardening with need.

  Gavin returned to kissing her and just as greedily as Gavin sampled her mouth, Julian wanted to touch her body. He glided his fingertips over the silky skin of her shoulders, over the perfect swell of her breasts, and down the flat plain of her belly. His mouth watered as he kissed her navel. Julian wanted more than just the sweet taste of her skin on his lips. He wanted her delicious honey coating his tongue.

  Eager for more, he moved to his knees and positioned himself between her spread legs. Before he could lean forward to sample more of her, Gavin’s hand came down between her legs, blocking him, and diverted Julian’s gaze to his.

  “Wait,” Gavin growled, shaking his head.

  Julian arched a brow and shifted back on his heels, rising up to stand. He wasn’t sure what to make of Gavin’s behavior. One moment he was giving him permission to kiss her, but as soon as he attempted to do more than that, Gavin stopped him. Julian considered himself a patient man, but his patience was beginning to run thin. He rested his hands on his hips, frustration blazing hot within him.

  “Gavin?” Shadow’s voice was a gentle whisper.

  Gavin sucked in a gulp of air. “Not yet,” he said calmly. “I need to do things my way, if we are to do this at all.”

  Julian hid the smile that played at the corner of his mouth and simply nodded. Again he understood the turmoil Gavin felt over their little threesome. To some, there was nothing stranger then making love to a woman while being a part of an audience.

  Julian had lived in another dimension and sex was viewed differently. People were open about their sexual exploits and often had multiple lovers at a time. As a royal prince, he had his pick of fae females. For that reason, it was easy for him to take a step back and let the lycan have his space.

  But even so, Julian was forced to swallow down his disappointment. He was desperate for Shadow. They’d only had one afternoon. He wanted a lifetime.