by C. Shell
"Why did you say no right away?" He asks looking vulnerable as though my answer has the power to hurt him but I know better. What we have is fun and intense but fleeting. He will lose interest once he feels I am no longer a challenge and a new plaything for him to figure out.
Swallowing hard I answer honestly. "I have accepted the fact that running from you and denying this chemistry between us is a losing battle but I am not ready to turn it into something more than what we already have."
He cocks his head to the side and stares at me as like he is trying to figure out a puzzle. "Who broke you Jessica?" He asks softly.
I shake my head slowly darting my eyes around the room needing to look anywhere but at him. His words hurt and hit too close to home. I feign ignorance. "I don't know what you are talking about Alex. Stop trying to figure me out or this, whatever we have will end right now." Despite my best attempt my voice cracks as I speak.
"I will drop it for now but this conversation is nowhere near over, just postponed." Reaching for my hand he pulls me up and into his arms pressing his body solidly against mine. His lips crash into mine milking away all the stresses of the morning, making me forget all about why I have been upset with him.
Pulling back he whispers against my ear, "Let's go find you a dress beautiful."
Chapter 9
"Jessica don't you dare fall asleep on me! We are finishing this movie together than you are free to fall go to bed. There is no way I can finish watching The Thing alone." I duck just in time to miss the pillow that goes sailing by my head.
"I am awake I promise." I laugh. "Why must you always torture us both by watching movies that scare you? You really should stick to romance and comedies." I tease.
It is taking everything I have to keep my eyes open. If a scary movie is not enough to keep me from sleep than not much will.
"When is that party you're going to will Alex again?"
"It's a charity event and it is this Tuesday." I say on a sigh. "As much as I don't want to go I do think it could be a good way to get our foot in the door with some other local magazines and people within our profession."
"I totally agree. I would have kicked your ass if you had turned him down."
"Only you would try pimping me out for business connections," I say throwing her pillow back at her. "Seriously though do you really like my dress?" I ask worried. "I know it is pretty but do you think it is too much?"
"Hell no. It is beautiful and you will look amazing in it. That was very sweet of Alex to buy you a dress and all the accessories to match. "She says heading to the kitchen to refill her drink.
"Yea it was but I would of felt better if he had let me pay for it. I don't like feeling like I owe him anything."
"Oh please you don't owe him shit. He asked you to go so if anything you are doing him a favor. Plus the man is loaded and it would take more than a measly dress to put a dent in his check book."
My phone starts singing Crazy and we both look at each other knowingly and roll our eyes. Looking down at my screen I watch as Master of the Universe blinks back at me on the screen.
"Hi Alex." I say on a sigh.
"Hey baby, have you changed your mind yet?" Hearing his gravelly voice makes my nipples peak.
"Sorry Alex I am not changing my mind and staying at your house tonight. You're being greedy. You had me all day yesterday and you will see me again in two days for the charity event. "
I really wanted to go to his house but talked myself out of it all day even though he keeps calling trying to change my mind. Jane and I spent the day together cleaning the apartment, buying groceries, and doing our laundry. She has really been missing David so I promised her tonight would be a girl's night with the movie of her choice and pizza.
"That does not work for me Jessica. I miss you and I think I need to remind you why we are good together. If you won't come to me than I am coming to you. It has been too long since I have had the pleasure of hearing you call out my name."
What? Oh hell no.
"Alex that is not happening. I don't need reminding and you don't get to make all the rules and tell me how things are going to be done," I say my voice hitching a little.
"See you in twenty minutes." he growls out before the line goes dead.
He hung up on me. Controlling bastard. I glance over at Jane who is obviously enjoying my misery.
"He says he is on his way over. Do you mind?" I ask unsure of whether she will be ok with this or want to throttle me. "I have no problem kicking him out if you want to keep it strictly a girls only night."
"I don't care. Actually I find it amusing. You can claim all you want that you will be able to keep him around only as your boy toy but you really have met your match with him. He is as stubborn as you are. That man has no plans on letting you go anytime soon," she laughs.
That is what I am afraid of.
"It doesn't matter what I want. Alex is not the type that to be able to handle anything long term and serious. He is a pure playboy who can have practically any woman he wants."
"I love you Jess, but sometimes you can be so delusional. You better sit in here with me until my movie is over. There is no way I will be able to sleep until I know the ending and you know I can't watch scary movies by myself."
"There is no way I would leave you before the movie finishes. I am afraid if I did I might find you curled up in bed with me later," I tease.
I managed to sit through the rest of the movie with Jane without her freaking out and hiding underneath the blanket. I don't even remember what the rest of the movie was about because I can't stop freaking out about Alex coming over. It is insane. After everything we have done I should not be nervous about seeing him.
While cleaning up the kitchen and putting away the rest of our left over pizza I hear a heavy knock on the front door. I quickly wipe down the counter tops but before I can finish Jane has already jumped off the sofa and let him in. I wait a few beats to join them once I hear them talking in the living room. Jane is a good judge of character so I will let them talk some and get her honest opinion later on what she thinks of Mr. Strong Arms now that he is calm and not yelling at Jax.
Throwing away the last pizza box I round the corner and join them. All my nerves are quickly put to rest when I find them seated on the sofas laughing and talking as though they have been best friends forever. I let out a deep breath of air that I didn't even realize I had been holding in.
We all sit together watching re-runs of Private Practice and drinking wine until Jane excuses herself to go call David before he goes to bed. I curl up on the soft next to Alex resting my head on his chest and enjoy the comfortable silence. Between the wine, busy weekend and the soothing sound of his heart beat my eyes are fighting a losing battle to stay open.
Pulling me in his arms Alex sweeps me up off the sofa, cradling me like a child as he carries me towards my bedroom. "Come on baby, let's get you to bed," he whispers in my neck.
"Mmmm," is the most response I am able to muster.
Stripping me of my clothing and pulling a night shirt over my head he lays me down in the bed pulling the covers over me. I expect him to turn and leave but instead he starts taking off his own clothes and climbs into bed next to me pulling me against his hard chest. My body turns rigid against his and all thoughts of sleep fly out the window.
Spending the night with each other because of sex is acceptable but staying together without sex dips into a gray area. I like keeping things black and white and simple so there are no questions left unanswered. This is something couples do and we are not a couple. I am struggling to find the right way to tell him he needs to leave without sounding like a complete bitch.
"Stop over thinking it Jessica and go to sleep."
"How do you always know what I am thinking?" I ask frustrated with his inapt way of reading my mind. "It is creepy when you do that," I murmur.
He laughs and I can't help liking the way his chest rumbles against me when he does it. "You are
easy to read my love. Sleep baby. You need to get some sleep," he says placing a kiss on the top of my shoulder.
Clearing my mind I cuddle further into his embrace and let the sleepy fog invade my senses and quickly drift off.
********
"Rise and Shine baby doll." My eyes flutter open to find Jax sitting beside me staring down at me with an amused smirk smeared across his handsome face.
The previous nights events roll through my mind and I nervously sit up expecting to find Alex but instead find a note sitting on the pillow he used. A wave of relief washes over me. The thought of having to endure an awkward morning good-bye and both of us rushing off to work at the same time pulls us back into that gray area that we seem to be drifting more and more into lately. Those are things I did with Travis not Alex. Especially not with Alex.
Jax reaches over and thumbs the note. "In case you were wondering, lover boy left early this morning right after I arrived to take Jane to the gym with me. We talked a bit and he is not as bad as I previously thought. He is starting to grow on me."
I hit him in the chest with my pillow. "Don't start on me Jax," I warn. "By the way what time is it?"
"A little after seven 'clock."
"Shit! I cannot believe I overslept," I scream out more to myself than to Jax. Of all morning to sleep late this is the worst day I could possibly have chosen to do it.
"I have a big meeting this morning at eight-thirty at the office that I can't be late to."
"Jane is just finishing up. Go shower and get ready and I will make coffee and get you a breakfast meal to go ready," he says kissing the top of my head.
"You are the best Jax," I call out as I head towards the shower stripping off my night shirt on the way.
I should get an award for the fastest shower. I managed to get in and out of there in less than ten minutes. That is an all time record for me. Without enough time to dry my hair I towel dry it the best that I can spaying some product in it to keep the humidity from turning it into a frizzy mess.
Choosing my favorite red silk sleeveless blouse and black pencil shirt out of my closet I throw them on cinching it at my waist with a black and gold belt. I love wearing red to work meetings; it reminds me of power and helps to give me a confidence boost. Studying my shoe options I settle on my new pair of black open toed Jimmy Choo stilettos. They might not be the most sensible option but I really love how they make my calves look long and sleek.
A little mascara, lip gloss, blush and a spritz of perfume and I am ready to go with ten minutes to spare. Walking into the kitchen I collect my paperwork along with the coffee and bagel smeared with crème cheese Jax so diligently prepared for me before taking my last five minutes to sit and say good mornings to my two best friends.
"You ready to talk about last night and that hunk of yours yet?" Jane jokes winking at me as she looks around for her car keys. I swear she would lose her head if It was not screwed on tight.
"No and he is not mine to discuss," I snap back irritated with her line of questioning.
"You are in denial. What did the note say that he left you?"
"Shit. I was in such a hurry I forgot to read it." I shoot Jax a dirty look for already squealing about my note and go back into my room to retrieve it. He throws up his hands in defense laughing at me.
Returning to the living room with note in hand I waver on reading it out loud or keeping it all to myself but knowing my friends there will be hell to pay if I shut them out. I smile seeing that he wrote on my SpongeBob stationary my niece gave me for Christmas. I would have loved to see his expression when he found it.
I hold up the note so everyone can see," It says 'Thanks for the sleepover. Next time we will do more than just sleep. Looking forward to many more, stop over thinking and just say yes."
I place the note in my purse as my eyes roamed over my friends' faces trying to read their expressions. There was not denying that the note made me happy in an I am so screwed type of way.
They both just nod and smile at me as though they know a secret that I was not yet privy to which makes me nervous.
"Jane we really need to get to work. Let's go please," I say ushering her and Jax out of the door.
We arrive at the office just in time for me to set out some drinks and pastries before a group of five men in expensive suits arrive ready to hear my business pitch. The meeting goes well and after answering several questions and presenting our portfolio they leave with the promise to let us know an answer within in few days. I was pleasantly surprised to find out they would also be attending the charity event I am going to with Alex tomorrow night. This event is looking better by the minute. I think it is exactly what we need to help push our business to the next level.
I will never admit that he was right. It would only add to his over the top ego.
Plopping down in the chair next to me Jane exclaims," I need food. Let's go grab something at that little bistro down the street. Jax said they have amazing onion soup."
"Sure why not. Let me grab my things and I will be ready." Glancing at my phone I notice I have missed a text from Alex saying 'Good morning sexy" and a missed call from another private number.
Who is calling me from a private number?
As we walk into the Bistro I cannot stop thinking about the strange private phone calls I keep receiving. I have not mentioned it to Jane yet because I thought it was a mistake but now I am not so sure. It just seems too much of a coincidence now that I got another one.
Once we are seated I start to tell her about them but am brought up short when I notice Alex seated across the restaurant from us. He is not alone.
"Jess what's wrong? You look sick, are you ok? Jessica talk to me, you are starting to worry me."
I try to answer her but words evade me so I just point behind her and watch as she turns around to see what I am staring at.
"Mother Fucker," she exclaims. "Who is the blonde bimbo?"
"No clue. I can't get a good look at her from this angle," I say feeling numb. I could only see the back of her head. I keep watching them begging for her to turn so I can get a look at her face. When she finally does I immediately recognize her from the photo I saw at Alex's house. She was the woman in the picture with his family.
What is she to him?
Our waiter comes to our table and Jane thankfully takes over and orders for us. My appetite has diminished leaving me with a thick heavy knot in my chest. As hard as I try I cannot take my eyes off of them. They seem to be in a deep private conversation and I would give anything to know what it is about. It can't be just business, there is an intimate familiarity in their manner towards each other.
As upset as I am with him my eyes roam over him eating up how handsome he looks dressed in an elegant dark gray suit paired with a light blue dress shirt and silver tie. His hair has that just fucked looked he gets after running his hands through it a few times.
I wonder if she has run her hands through it?
"Do you want to go over and say something or would you rather leave?"
"I am not running away," I say coolly pulling out my cell phone from my purse. "I am going to text him and see if he tells me where he is or if he lies." I try and ignore my shaking hands as I type.
Me: What are you doing?
I watch as his phone beeps and he pulls it out of his pocket. He stares at it for what seems like forever before texting me back. The blonde asks him something but he dismisses her.
Alex: Having a meeting. Can I call you later?
Me: Sorry to bother you. Are you at the office?
Alex: Dinner tonight?
Me: No thanks, I am busy.
The blonde is obviously irritated over his rude manners while being in her company but he continues. I watch as he pushes a hand through his hair and his mouth turns to a hard line. The blonde reaches over the table and runs her hand down his arm and it takes everything I have not to run over there and pull her hair out.
Alex: Stop trying to pull away
from me. Busy doing what and with whom?
Me: None of your concern. Enjoy your "meeting".
I place my phone down as our meal arrives and I quietly recap our text messages with Jane. Her eyes darken with concern. I hate the gnawing feeling of jealousy that is flowing through me. I have nothing to be jealous about. We never promised each other anything and I am the one who was adamant that there was nothing more than just sex between us.
My concerns about him being like Travis seem to be true.
My phone beeps again and I place it on vibrate before putting it back in my purse. I don't want to know what he has to say anymore. They are probably just more lies anyways. I push my food away not able to stomach eating anything.
Jane has the waiter place our meals in to-go containers and we quietly leave before he has a chance to see us and head back toward the office.
"I don't have any other meetings today so I am going to grab a cab and head on home if you don't mind."
My phone keeps on buzzing with more text messages but I refuse to read them. I just want to get home and sort out my thoughts alone. In the back of my mind I know I am probably overreacting but that does not stop me from hurting.
"I have some more paperwork to do than I will be home soon to check on you," she says giving me a reassuring hug. "Sweetie you need to talk to him before you jump to any conclusions."
I nod my understanding than walk to the curb and jump into one of the awaiting cabs giving him my address. Pulling out my phone I read the dozen of text messages he has left, each one of them more frantic and desperate than the last.
Alex: Babe answer me
Alex: Damn it Jessica you are scaring me
Alex: What did I do?
Alex: Where are you? We need to talk about this
.......and they just kept going on from there.
I shoot him a quick text back hoping to stall for some time before I have to face him.
Me: I am fine. Just need some room to breathe. Talk to you later.
Alex: Stop over thinking! I need to see you now. Stop saying no or I will spank that beautiful ass of yours.