Size Matters

by Alison Bliss

  Leah must’ve realized it, probably from the way he was flaring his nostrils. When her mother tried to maneuver around her, Leah stepped in her path and shoved the salad and plates into her mom’s arms. “I’ll get the silverware!” The words flew out of her mouth, fast and forceful, as if she was afraid Sam would say something to Nancy about her demeaning comments.

  Her mother nodded and turned back to the dining room but stopped in the doorway. “Sam, dinner is on the table. If you would like to join—”

  “Hold your goddamn horses, Nancy. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  Surprised by his gruff tone, the woman paused and blinked at him, as if she wasn’t sure what to say. He grinned at his small win, knowing that a pushy woman like Nancy probably didn’t back down from many things.

  But then another figure filled the doorway next to her. “Samuel Ryan Cooper!”

  Oh, shit! “Mom?”

  * * *

  Leah swayed in stunned silence.

  Mom? As in Sam’s mother? No, that wasn’t possible.

  But Sam regained his composure and stepped toward the woman. “W-what are you doing here, Mom?”

  A tall man with gray streaks in his hair stepped out of the dining room. He looked like an older, handsomer version of Sam. “I think the better question is why are you speaking to Nancy in that tone of voice. I raised you better than that, young man.”

  Sam grinned sheepishly. “I was…uh, just kidding around with her.”

  “Well, it sounded disrespectful,” his mother chastised. “I believe you owe her an apology.”

  “You’re right,” Sam agreed, then turned to Nancy. “I’m sorry. I hope you will forgive me.”

  She smiled. “Of course. But only if you forgive me for sneaking your parents into town without telling you. I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

  What the fuck, Mom? Leah’s mouth gaped open. “Wait. Mom, how are you responsible for his parents coming in? You didn’t even know them.”

  “Oh, they were easy enough to track down once Sam gave me their names and told me where they lived. So I called his mother and introduced myself. We had a lovely chat. And when Sharon mentioned she wanted to come for a visit, I thought it might be fun to surprise the two of you.”

  Sam shook his head. “I…don’t know what to say. I mean, I’m definitely surprised.” Then he reached for his mom and hugged her. “It’s great to see you.” When he released her, he shook his father’s hand and gave him a manly thump on the back.

  His mother’s gaze landed on Leah. “So you must be the elusive woman I’ve heard so little about,” she said, wearing a good-natured smile. “I’m Sharon, and this is my husband, David. Our son is in big trouble for keeping you all to himself.”

  “I’m Leah,” she said, extending her hand. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

  Nancy clapped her hands together. “Well, now that introductions are out of the way, I think Sam has something he wants to announce to his parents.”

  Sam pulled at his shirt collar with one finger. “No. Nothing I can think of.”

  Nancy giggled. “Oh, Sam, stop kidding around and tell them the good news already.”

  His mom’s brow rose. “Okay, what am I missing here?”

  “It was just something I was going to mention. But it can wait until after dinner,” Sam said, trying to buy himself some time.

  “Samuel…” his mother said, her tone sounding much like a warning.

  He wiped away the sweat beading on his brow. “Okay, fine. I was just going to tell you that Leah is my…f-f-f….” The word died on his lips.

  Oh, fuck me. “I’m his fiancée,” Leah blurted out.

  Sharon’s eyes widened, and her mouth hinged open.

  Leah hadn’t meant to shock the woman, but Sam obviously had a hard time saying the word, and she couldn’t take it any longer. Besides that, she wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t going to call her his “friend,” which would have tipped off her own parents about the fake engagement.

  “You’re getting married?” Sharon said, blinking at her son. “I…I can’t believe it.”

  Sam shrugged casually. “Yeah, I can hardly believe it myself.”

  “I mean, I had a feeling something like this was going on, but when I didn’t see a ring on Leah’s finger—”

  “Oh, that’s because it’s at the jeweler’s getting resized,” Leah cut in. “We’ll have it back soon.”

  “I see. Well, congratulations to both of you then. I think it’s wonderful news.”

  David squeezed his son’s shoulder. “It’s fantastic! We should make a toast, don’t you think?”

  Leah’s mom grinned. “The wineglasses are already filled. Why don’t we go sit down at the table before our dinner gets any colder? Leah, would you be a dear and get the silverware, please?”

  Everyone started for the dining room, while Leah grabbed the silverware from the kitchen counter. As she turned to head back to join the others, she ran smack dab into Sam’s chest. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you with the others?”

  “Leah, we need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “Look, I know we said we’d end this tonight, but…”

  What? No! “Sam, don’t you dare say it. You promised.”

  He hung his head and sighed. “I know. But that was before I realized my parents were here.”

  “So?”

  “So you saw my parents’ reaction to what I said to your mom. If I pull that kind of shit while they’re sitting there, my mom is going to have a heart attack and my dad is probably going to take off his belt and smack me with it.”

  “Damn it, Sam. Then give your mom an aspirin and stuff a pillow in the back of your pants and take it like a man.”

  “Leah…”

  “God, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me again.”

  “Hey, it isn’t my fault. It was your mom who invited my parents into this whole mess. Blame it on her.”

  “Don’t even go there with me. If you hadn’t started this fake engagement to begin with, then your parents wouldn’t be involved in it. This whole thing is your fault.”

  Sam scrubbed a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that about your mom. Once my parents leave, we can figure out how to end all of the insanity and get back to our normal lives. Until then, we’re going to have to keep playing the happy couple. Think you can do that?”

  Frustrated, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Unfortunately, Leah didn’t have a choice. Or did she?

  Yeah, she had a choice all right. Whether Sam liked it or not. He can’t back out on me again, damn it. I won’t let him.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Sam and Leah settled into their side-by-side chairs and waited for his father to finish toasting their engagement. When he was finished, Leah’s dad took his place at the head of the table and began carving the roasted chickens, while Nancy passed Leah the salad bowl with a big smile.

  Sam was sure it was supposed to be a subtle hint, but Leah ignored it, probably used to dealing with that kind of crap from her mother. Leah only took a small helping before passing the salad bowl to Sam, who crinkled his nose at it. The ugly brown dressing didn’t look very appetizing and was probably just as diet-friendly as everything else on the menu.

  Once her dad had finished cutting up the two birds and sat in his chair, they took turns passing around the silver platter until everyone’s plates held a serving of herbed chicken, steamed asparagus, and baby carrots.

  Sam stabbed his salad fork into a chunk of red leaf lettuce dripping with the brown ooze and glared at it warily. “What kind of dressing is this, Nancy?”

  Leah’s mother dabbed politely at her mouth with a white linen napkin before answering. “It’s a new version of a balsamic vinaigrette. You’re going to love it. It’s low in calories, fat, and carbs.”

  Sam cringed inwardly, but before he could respond, Leah blurted out, “So is semen. At least
that’s what Sam keeps telling me.”

  Oh, Jesus. She did not just say that! The entire room went still, except for Leah, who speared a carrot on her fork, popped it into her mouth, and grinned her ass off as she chewed.

  Sam rubbed his hand across his face, avoiding his parents’ expressions. His father coughed a little to stifle a strained chuckle, but by the way his mother’s fork had clanged clumsily against her plate, Sam imagined his mom sitting there with wide eyes and an open mouth.

  He had a feeling he knew exactly why Leah was smiling like that, and it wasn’t a good one. Normally, Leah would never say something so inappropriate, especially in mixed company. But since she had, only one reason came to mind.

  Sam slumped over his plate and continued eating. If he pretended he hadn’t heard what Leah had said, maybe it would discourage any more conversation for the remainder of the meal. God, he hoped so.

  But of course, he couldn’t get that lucky.

  “Sorry we took so long getting the silverware,” Leah offered. “Sam had something he wanted to discuss with me.”

  “And it couldn’t wait until after dinner, son?” his mom asked.

  Sam didn’t even get a chance to answer her.

  “No. He’s impatient like that at times.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s my own fault though. Sam keeps telling me when he says jump, I should ask how high. I just never learn.” She smiled politely at them, though both sets of parents stared at her as if she’d sprouted two heads, one on each shoulder.

  Sam scowled at her. “That’s, um, not exactly what I said, sweetheart.”

  “Well, I would hope not,” his father stated, snorting at his son like an overprotective bull guarding a herd of females. “That kind of sexist attitude has no place in the world today.”

  “Oh, no. Sam isn’t sexist, David. He believes in women being complete equals. That’s why I open doors for him, instead of the other way around. He even trained me to leave the toilet seat up.”

  Sam’s stomach soured. He pushed his plate away from him and crossed his arms. “Is it time for dessert yet?”

  Leah grinned. “See how impatient he can be?” She stood and stacked her dinner plate on top of his.

  His mom stared at Leah’s plate in confusion. “But, honey, you have barely touched your food.”

  “I know, but Sam wants his pie. And what Sam wants, Sam gets,” Leah stated plainly, as if she were his obedient submissive or something. “I’ll just grab it from the kitchen.”

  Christ.

  “I’ll help,” Sam said, scrambling out of his seat.

  Once they were out of their parents’ earshot and standing in front of the kitchen sink, Sam leaned in and whispered, “What the hell are you doing?”

  Leah squinted at him. “I’m getting the pie you wanted,” she whispered back.

  Sam sighed. “No, I mean, why are you making me look like such a jerk?”

  The dishes clanged together as she set them in the sink. “Well, maybe you don’t want to go through with the original plan, but I do. I can’t keep doing this. It’s ending tonight, whether you like it or not.”

  “The plan was to make your parents hate me, not make mine disown me. Besides, I was supposed to do it. Not you.”

  “Does it really matter?” she asked, stretching up on her tiptoes to grab the dessert plates on the top shelf.

  He leaned over her from behind, pressing his body against hers. His cock pushed against her ass, which had him holding his breath. Once he’d pulled the plates down, he set them on the counter. “Hell yes, it matters. You’re making me look like a chauvinistic prick.”

  “Me?” She laughed and shook her head as she turned and plucked forks and a pie server from the silverware drawer. “Hardly. You did that on your own when you smacked my ass and started making sexual remarks about me to my dad while we were on vacation.”

  “Maybe. But my parents hadn’t been there for any of that.”

  Leah stilled, and her eyes narrowed. “So it’s okay to do all of this to my parents, but yours are off limits? I don’t think so, Sam.”

  He sighed wearily. “Look, that’s not what I meant. I know you want to put all of this to rest, and we will. Just not tonight.”

  “We’re just going to have to agree to disagree,” she stated, stacking the plates and utensils on top of the pie box.

  When she started to lift them, Sam said, “Here, let me get those for you.”

  “I’ve got them,” she said hastily, then hurried toward the dining room.

  Apparently, she didn’t need or want any more favors from him.

  As they rejoined their parents, his dad took one look at her and then glared at Sam. Most likely because he had come back empty-handed while Leah had carried everything in. That wasn’t Sam’s fault, of course. But it’s not like he could defend himself without telling him that they’d been arguing in the kitchen.

  Leah set the stack down and opened the box, containing the presliced pie she’d stolen from her own bakery. Using the pie server, she began placing wedges of the pie on small dessert plates and passing them around the table.

  Sam closed his lips around his first bite and moaned appreciatively with a sound that was purely orgasmic in tone. Leah glanced up at Nancy, who was staring at him in horror. “What can I say? He loves my desserts,” Leah explained, taking a bite of her own slice of pie.

  “I do,” Sam agreed. “I could eat your cherry pie all night long, if you’d let me.”

  Leah choked, then quickly reached for her glass of wine.

  Sam hadn’t meant what he’d said to come out sounding so…sexual. Now that it had though, he couldn’t help but grin at Leah’s shocked expression. Served her right. But when he noticed his dad’s red face and how his hand fisted on the table, Sam decided to cool the sexual remarks. His parents were probably horrified enough with the things Leah was saying about him.

  Great. He’s going to have some major explaining to do after tonight.

  He couldn’t let things spin farther out of control than they already had, but there was no way to stop Leah from saying whatever the hell she wanted. And that knowledge only pissed him off more.

  Once they’d finished dessert in silence, Nancy suggested they move to the parlor. Sam couldn’t believe her snooty ass even called it that. It was a goddamn living room, if you asked him.

  “Leah, why don’t you and Sam make yourselves comfortable on the settee,” Nancy said, motioning to the prissy-looking love seat with the ugly-ass flowers. “Sharon and David can sit on the one across from you, Bill will sit in his recliner, and I’ll sit over here in my reading chair.”

  Sam rolled his eyes. Now they had assigned seats? What the fuck were they—kindergartners? And did this pretentious woman have to have a fancy name for almost everything in her home? What was wrong with just calling it a sofa or a couch? He dragged himself across the room and sank down next to Leah.

  “So tell me, Leah, what drew you to my son?” David asked, making conversation. “Was it his dynamic personality?” He leaned back and smiled at Sam with genuine pride.

  “Not really,” Leah replied. “I’m pretty sure it was the size of his package that did it for me.”

  “Leah!” Nancy exclaimed, shaking her head. “I swear. I’m not sure what’s come over you tonight. The god-awful things that are coming out of your mouth are…Well, it’s just not like you to say such things.”

  A grin spread across Leah’s amused face. “Hey, I’m not the one asking the questions here. I’m just answering them.” She gestured to Sam. “If you ask him what he liked about me, I’m pretty sure he’ll say he liked my big boobs.”

  Sam closed his eyes and breathed out heavily through his nose. Okay, so her breasts had been the first thing he’d noticed from across the bar the night he met her. But he’d damn sure never told Leah that. And it wasn’t at all what drew him to her. Not really. “Actually, it was your eyes,” he said, gazing at Leah as he spoke the truth. “The moment I saw those gor
geous emeralds up close, I was a goner.”

  His mom smiled at him, and his dad nodded in approval. But Leah cocked her head, as if she was trying to figure out whether he was making it up on the spot. He wasn’t. Then a glossy sheen fell over her eyes. She blinked it away.

  He placed his hand on hers, but she stood up quickly. “It’s getting late. I should probably get home and go to bed. Bakery hours start early.”

  “Leah…”

  “Sam, can you please just take me home?”

  * * *

  Yawning, Sam plopped down in the chair inside the small construction trailer, kicked his feet up onto the solid oak desk, and leaned his head back until it was cushioned by the top of the chair. Then he closed his eyes.

  It was noon, and most of the guys had already clocked out for their lunch break. But Sam didn’t want to go to lunch. What he wanted was to take a damn nap. He hadn’t blamed his parents for being upset with him for not explaining what the hell was going on. But he’d promised to call them later in the week and give them some answers. Maybe by then he’d actually have some.

  He’d spent the entire night tossing and turning, and then he’d gotten up earlier than normal so his parents wouldn’t miss their flight. The airport was only a thirty-minute drive from Granite, Texas, but they’d left the house early to avoid any rush-hour traffic. Thankfully, there hadn’t been any. But Sam had spent the rest of the morning fighting exhaustion and couldn’t wait for this workday to be over.

  He would have taken his lunch hour to go talk to Leah, but he didn’t think that an hour was enough time to resolve everything between them. Not after she’d become emotional last night and had wanted to go home. He would have tried to talk to her then, but with his parents in the truck, that would have been an awkward conversation, for sure.

  As it was, the ride to her house had almost been unbearable. Leah had sat in silence the entire way, not looking at him even once. When they’d arrived, she slid out of the truck, pausing only long to tell his parents that it’d been nice to meet them. Then she’d walked inside.

  The trailer door flung open, and Max climbed inside. “Hey, you just get back from lunch?”