Size Matters

by Alison Bliss

  Leah turned and simply walked away. His stomach lurched with regret, and his chest ached from the acute pain of her absence. He didn’t blame her for being pissed. She’d obviously been hurt and embarrassed by what he’d told Max earlier in the day. But he needed her to know the one thing he hadn’t been aware of until this very moment.

  He loved her, damn it.

  That he knew for sure now. Because only losing someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with would hurt this fucking much.

  Max stepped up beside him and nodded toward the direction Leah had gone. “You going after her?”

  “No,” Sam said, cringing at his own answer.

  It took everything he had to stay put and not run after her while begging her forgiveness. But no matter how badly he’d screwed things up with Leah, he refused to deprive her of the one thing she had needed most of all: self-confidence.

  That damn sure didn’t mean he would give her up for long though.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Leah pulled up in the circle drive out front of her parents’ home and turned off the engine. She dreaded the idea of going inside but didn’t have much of a choice. It was her birthday party after all.

  Still, birthday or not, she had no interest in attending a party where all eyes would be on her. Especially since she planned to tell her family the truth about Sam at last. Since they were no longer on speaking terms, she would just have to face her family alone. Thanks for that, Sam.

  It had been over a week since she’d last seen him, and she couldn’t believe he hadn’t so much as called to apologize. Not that she planned to accept it or anything. Or even answer her phone. But he could have at least acted like he felt bad about the whole thing. Instead, he had let her walk away without saying a single word.

  Guess she’d been right all along. He hadn’t cared at all.

  Now she just needed to figure out how to break the bad news to her family. She’d considered telling them that Sam had broken up with her, but that was hitting a little too close to home. Because although they hadn’t actually dated for real, it was a breakup of sorts. He probably wouldn’t refer to it as that, since he obviously didn’t give two shits about her, but that was the way she looked at it.

  Oh well. She was tired of lying to her family anyway.

  Sure, telling them the whole thing was a ruse would be embarrassing as hell, but it was about time she finally stopped worrying about what other people thought and worried more about herself. Besides, nothing could compare to how mortifying the whole situation with Sam had been standing in the middle of the bar.

  Thank God it was all over. Well, except this one last thing.

  Time to face the music.

  Sighing heavily, Leah climbed out of her car and lifted a large white bakery box from the backseat before kicking the sedan’s door shut with her foot. When she reached the front door of her parents’ home, she balanced the cake box in one arm while she fumbled the door open and stepped inside.

  The house was eerily silent, as if no one was home.

  “Mom? Dad?” she called out, though no one answered.

  Leah walked into the kitchen and set the box down on the counter. She was about to go check the dining room when she heard murmurs coming from the patio. Ah, so that’s where they are.

  She hesitated, dreading the moment she would have to face up to the lie she’d been living for the past two weeks about her fake engagement. But it was time to come clean about everything once and for all. It would suck, but it was nothing compared to how bad Sam had made her feel. She had gotten through that though, and she would get through this too.

  Leah turned and started toward the patio, but her feet froze in place.

  The single back door of her childhood home had been replaced by a pair of fancy French doors made out of clear glass framed in solid pine. But that wasn’t what had her feet stalling beneath her.

  Through the glass, she spotted Sam on the back deck, sitting at the table with her family surrounding him, looking as comfortable as ever. He pulled the sleeves of his white Henley shirt up his forearms and smiled as he reached for the open beer on the table in front of him. Before bringing the bottle to his lips, he said something to the others that she couldn’t quite make out, though they all roared with laughter.

  Lava flowed through her veins, and her eyes lit with pure fire.

  Though she didn’t think he was talking about her, it pissed her off that he was even there, much less that he was entertaining her family with the same easy charm he’d used on her. She marched over to the newly installed French doors and threw them open, loudly banging them against the inside wall.

  Everyone’s eyes shifted onto her, including Sam’s. The new red dress she wore suddenly felt even tighter with his eyes glazing over and scrutinizing every curve the way he did. “What the hell are you doing here?” she sneered.

  He seemed to snap out of his trancelike state. “You’re here. Good. Excuse us for a minute, folks,” Sam said to the others, rising to his feet and moving quickly toward Leah. “I need a minute alone with my fiancée.”

  “Well, then you better go find her…because we both know you aren’t talking about me!”

  Her mother blinked at Leah’s harsh tone then shook her head. “Now, Leah, don’t say things like that. Nothing Sam’s done could be so bad that you want to back out of marrying him.”

  Leah rolled her eyes so hard they hurt. “Back out of it, my ass. We were never—”

  Before she could finish what she was saying, Sam tugged her into the kitchen, slamming the doors quickly behind them. “Stop. I didn’t tell them.”

  “Well, you obviously told them something,” she accused.

  “Only that I had done something that upset you and we were having a lovers’ quarrel. But I assured them I would make it right, and that they didn’t need to worry about it at all.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Leah leaned on the counter with both hands, trying to figure out why the hell he’d do such a thing. “God, Sam. I’m telling my parents the truth today. Are you purposely trying to make this more difficult for me?”

  “No, Leah, I’m not. But before you say a word, just promise that you’ll hear me out. Please. Give me to the end of the party. If you still want to tell them the truth, I won’t like it, but I won’t try to stop you.”

  “Well, I don’t give a shit what you like. It’s over. There’s no point in dragging it out any longer. I know where I stand and—”

  “No. You don’t.”

  “The fuck I don’t,” she said with a biting tone. “It was all perfectly clear. And you know what, Sam? I’m not even upset that you don’t want me. I just wish you’d have told me so before having sex with me. What a joke that was. Biggest mistake of my life.”

  Sam’s eyes narrowed, and his jaw tightened. “Why is it that you’ll make excuses for everyone else in your life to mistreat you—your mother and Gavin, in particular—but you won’t let up on me for one second and let me explain why I said what I did?”

  “Because their words never hurt me as much as yours did!” Her voice cracked, and her eyes clogged with tears. Cringing, she turned away. Damn it. She hadn’t meant to say that to him. It was the truth, but she hadn’t wanted him to know what kind of power he held over her.

  “Leah?” When she didn’t answer him, Sam stepped around her and tilted her chin up, using his thumb to wipe away a tear from her cheek. His eyes softened, and he leaned down to touch his lips to hers.

  “Don’t,” she said, moving away. She wouldn’t be able to stand him kissing her again, knowing that he didn’t feel the same way she did.

  He started to speak, but the French doors opened and her dad poked his head in. “Everything all right in here? Is it safe for us to come in now?”

  She gazed up at Sam, and his eyes pleaded with her to give them a few more minutes, but she didn’t want to hear any more of his excuses. “It’s fine, Dad,” she said glumly.

/>   As the family piled into the kitchen, Sam glanced at the bakery box on the counter. “Did you bring that with you?” When she nodded, he added, “It looks good.”

  She knew what he meant, but she wasn’t in a real charitable mood at the moment. “It’s a box,” she said dryly.

  “I meant what’s inside the—”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know,” Leah said, rolling her eyes so hard they probably resembled the spinning reels of a slot machine after the lever had been pulled. “You have an addiction to sweets. We get it.” She shook her head in irritation and reached for the dessert plates. “Who wants a piece of the stupid cake?”

  Her brother laughed. “Damn, Sam. You must have really done something bad to put this big of a bug up her ass.”

  “Ethan Martin! Watch your mouth,” their mother warned.

  “Just sayin’,” Ethan said, grinning widely.

  Leah had had enough of this. She just wanted to get it over with and move on with her life. Like ripping off a bandage. Get through the pain quickly so that she could start to heal. She pulled the box over to her and threw open the lid, revealing a dark chocolate cake with elegant swirls of icing decorating the top.

  Her mother glanced over, and her mouth hinged open. “Oh. I thought you were going to make a carrot cake for tonight.”

  “I didn’t want a carrot cake,” Leah said firmly. “I wanted a chocolate cake. And since I was making it and it’s my birthday, I made the one I wanted to eat.”

  “Okay then. Well, don’t eat too much of it. You don’t want to put on any more weight than you already have before we start shopping for wedding dresses. It’s going to be hard enough to find one in your size as it is.”

  Leah stared at her point blank. “Mom, knock it the fuck off.”

  Her dad’s eyes widened, Sam grinned, and her brother stifled a cough. But her mother’s hand flew up and covered her mouth. “My goodness, Leah. What in the world?”

  “I’ve had enough of your insulting comments and demeaning remarks. You’ve been picking at me for years, and I, for one, am damn tired of hearing it. One slice of cake won’t kill me, nor do I need your constant reminders about how overweight I am. I own a mirror, and I have eyes. You don’t need to constantly point out my flaws.”

  “I—I’m sorry you feel that way,” she said, folding her hands in front of her.

  Leah shook her head. “No, you aren’t doing that to me either. That’s not an apology, and I’m not going to sit here and let you make me feel bad about myself anymore like your mother did to—”

  When her mom winced, Leah stopped talking. She hadn’t meant to bring any of that up, especially since she knew it would upset her mother. And it had.

  Her mom’s eyes misted over, and a deep-rooted pain surfaced in them as her chin quivered involuntarily. “It’s okay. You can say it…like my mother did to me.”

  Leah cringed. “I’m sorry, Mom. Grandma died a long time ago, and I know you don’t like talking about the past.”

  “No, it’s not the past that bothers me. It was her. Always her.” She wrung her hands together. “You have nothing to apologize for, Leah. I, on the other hand, do. I’m sorry, honey. I…guess I didn’t realize how much I sounded like her. After she died, I swore I would never treat my children the way she had treated me, but it seems I’ve been doing just that.”

  “No, it’s nothing like what you went through. Dad told me stories about how cruel Grandma was to you, and I hate that you grew up that way. But you aren’t like her. You just sometimes say things that…”

  “Aren’t very nice,” her mother finished for her. “And that’s what makes me just as bad as her. She was a cruel woman, but it was never my intention to make you feel bad about yourself. I don’t want to do that to you. I love you, Leah, and I’m very proud of the woman you’ve become…even if I don’t always show it.”

  Tears pricked Leah’s eyes. “I love you too, Mom. And I know you’re proud of me. I just wish you would tell me more often, rather than dwelling on my imperfections. I just want my mom to accept me for who I am.”

  Stunned, her mother sat there staring at her daughter for a long moment as if she was finally realizing something. “It’s…exactly what I wanted too.” She dashed at the moisture beneath her eyes, then glanced over at her husband. “Bill, would you please set up that appointment for me to see the therapist you mentioned? I think I would like to talk to her after all.”

  “You bet,” Leah’s dad said, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.

  Leah moved closer and wrapped her arms around her mom. “I’m proud of you, Mom.”

  Her mother obviously hadn’t been told that much in her life because it took her a second to hug Leah back. “I’m proud of myself too. For raising a beautiful daughter—inside and out.”

  After a few minutes of hugging and wiping their eyes with the tissues Bill passed to them, Ethan rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, enough with the mushy stuff. Let’s eat some stupid cake already.”

  Sam eyed her brother’s orange shirt warily. “Don’t you want to change your shirt first? I thought you said you didn’t like that color.”

  Ethan’s jaw dropped open. “God, Mom! Why? Why do you keep doing this to me?” He stormed toward the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

  “Maybe I should make an appointment for Ethan too,” Bill said, making the others laugh. “I don’t know what’s come over him lately.”

  “Must be those damn teenage hormones,” Sam said, grinning at Leah.

  She didn’t smile back though. It hurt too much seeing him there with her family, knowing she loved him and he didn’t love her back. “Mom, Dad…can you give me a minute alone with Sam?”

  “Sure, honey,” her mother said, then headed for the living room with her husband on her heels.

  Once they were out of earshot, Leah spoke. “I just wanted to forewarn you that I’m going to tell them the truth. You don’t have to stick around though. You can slip out the back door and leave without any of them even knowing you’re gone.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, Leah.”

  “Sam, it’s okay. I don’t need you at my side when I tell them. Besides, I don’t want my dad to take a swing at you.”

  “Why not? We both know I deserve it after the way I treated his daughter.”

  Pain surged inside her, but she shook her head. “No, you don’t. You can’t help the way you feel any more than I can.”

  “Will you at least open my presents before you throw me out?” He walked over to the far counter and lifted two boxes, setting them in front of her.

  She gazed at the white boxes tied with pink satin ribbons. “You didn’t have to get me anything for my birthday.”

  “Open them,” he encouraged.

  She smiled and slid the ribbon off the first box, then flipped open the lid. Inside was a pair of shoes—the same kind of sandal she’d lost at the beach. “How did you…”

  “Know what shoe size you wear?” he asked, grinning. “You left your old sandal in my truck.”

  “No, I mean, where did you find them? I must’ve hit every store in Texas and couldn’t find them in stock anywhere.”

  “Maybe you should’ve tried Florida.”

  “Huh?”

  He chuckled. “I asked my mom to help me locate them. She found them in a store near her and shipped them to me.”

  Leah squinted at him. “Why would she do that after the way I acted in front of them?”

  “They liked you. Thought you were a bit crazy, but I explained to them that you had a few too many glasses of wine before we arrived to dinner that night.”

  Leah’s head spun. “What? No, I didn’t.”

  He shrugged. “They don’t know that.”

  She wanted to ask him why he would come to her defense, but before she could ask the question, Sam pushed the other box in front of her. “Open this one.”

  She hesitated, then yanked on the ribbon, letting it fall off the box before opening it, revea
ling something she would never have expected from Sam. Her breath caught in her throat, and her eyes watered, making her vision blur.

  “It’s chocolate,” he told her. “That’s what you said you wanted, right?”

  “Y-you made me a cake?”

  “With my own two hands.”

  Yep, she could tell. The lopsided cake had sunk in toward the middle, and crumbs littered the uneven clumps of ugly black frosting. But somehow it was the most beautiful cake she’d ever seen. And she knew that box had looked familiar. He obviously had gotten it from the bakery. Damn it, Valerie. Stop supplying the enemy with ammo.

  “I…don’t really know what to say,” she said, swallowing hard. “Thank you, Sam. You didn’t have to—”

  “I wanted to. Mine may not look or taste as good as yours, but it was my first time making a cake. I’m sure I’ll improve each year. No matter what, my wife isn’t going to make her own birthday cake ever again.”

  She sighed. “You can stop with the wife stuff. My family can’t see or hear us from the living room.”

  “Good.”

  Without warning, Sam wrapped his long fingers around her neck and bent his head, slanting his mouth across hers. She shuddered as he held her against him, feeling the warmth of his body seeping under her skin.

  But she didn’t want him to touch her. Not anymore.

  She needed to stop all of this. Now. Because the dull ache in her chest was only becoming worse after being around him for even a short period of time. Maybe they could eventually be friends, but that would have to wait until her feelings for Sam no longer existed. And judging by the way she struggled not to kiss him back, she didn’t think that would ever happen.

  Leah backed away from him, and he let her. She didn’t know why he’d kissed her but didn’t get a chance to ask him before he spoke. “I have one more present for you,” he told her.

  “No, Sam. No more presents. I think you should leave now.”

  “I already told you I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his eyes glittering.

  “You have to. This isn’t going to work. We can’t be friends.”

  “God, sweetheart, that’s what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want to be friends with you.”