by Frost, H. Q.
“Don’t you dare.” Pushing him, he stumbled back a few steps. As she tried walking out of the parking garage, he grabbed her wrist. “Ow, Ian!” she shouted.
“Get in the car.”
“Get away from me. Now,” she warned him.
“Get in the car.”
“Now!” The high-pitched shriek that bellowed from her drew the attention of passersby.
The last thing he needed was to go to jail because of his fiancée, then have to explain that to his girlfriend, and so, he got into the car and watched as she hailed a cab.
Assuming he wouldn’t be far behind, Lilith locked herself in the bedroom, unable to remove herself from the anger she felt toward him. It wasn’t even clear where it was stemming from, but when she thought about him, she would begin to shake and grit her teeth. When he didn’t show up, disappointment miserably bathed her and tears lulled her into a restless sleep.
His sleep was just as restless, and being with Karen only made it worse because she insisted on sleeping in the bed with him.
***
“Hi mom,” Lilith muttered into the phone while staring out the back door at the sun that was deceptively bright. The twenty-six degree day appeared like a warm spring morning.
“Lily, where’ve you been?”
“Barbados.” With her chin resting in her hand, her depressed tone was evident.
Peachey laughed, “What! Lily!”
Lilith ignored her excitement. “Can I come for the weekend?”
“Are you still looking for a place to stay, honey? You know you can come home.”
“I got a place. Can I just come for the weekend?”
“Yes! Please.” Peachey’s enthusiasm to see her put a genuine smile on her face.
ASHLEY: Shoot tomorrow at the club. I have this amazing idea and I need you in this element. XXo
Lilith rolled her eyes and stopped packing for Peachey’s, but only briefly. Before driving to her stepmother’s, she quickly responded to Ashley’s text.
SEXY LILITH: I can’t. I’m at my mom’s for the weekend. Can we do it next weekend? I really just need to get my head cleared. You understand?
ASHLEY: NP babe. Cheer up. Things could be worse. You could have to help Caesar wax his ass and balls…..like he nominated me XXXXXoo
“Oh my god,” Lilith giggled, shaking her head.
***
With twelve bouquets of flowers strategically placed around the living room and candlelight illuminating the condo, giving it the romance Ian felt might get Lilith out of her dysthymia, he waited for her at the condo. Dinner was cold, all the wax in the candles had turned to liquid, and the stench of flowers were finally making his eyes water.
Looking at her ringing phone and seeing herself, Ian, and beautiful Barbados she huffed, “Shit.”
“Who is it?” Peachey asked, looking up from her plate.
“Ian.”
“Ian? Who’s Ian again?”
“I’ll be right back, k?” Lilith walked up the stairs and answered.
“Baby, are you coming home?” he asked immediately.
“No,” she responded guilty.
“What?” Strangling down his anger, he asked, “Where are you, Lily?”
“I’m at my mom’s.”
Hearing him huff, she leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.
“I’m so unhappy, Ian,” she whispered, sliding down the wall. “I just need to clear my head. I’ve been having insane mood swings and I can’t control them. Let me get my head clear, okay?”
An uneasiness kept him silent. He was going to lose her.
“Ian?”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he changed the subject. “Robert Tanaka called today. He needs you next Wednesday.”
“I didn’t sleep with him.” The blurt pushed its way out.
“I know, baby,” he breathed. “Lily, I’m sorry for whatever I’ve done or am doing. I don’t know how to fix this, but just give me time and you’ll see how happy I can make you.”
She put her hand to her face and rolled her eyes.
“Don’t give up on me,” he said quietly.
“I just want the weekend away. I’m going to tell my mom about us tonight.”
A small smile turned his lips because if she was going to tell her mother, she wasn’t giving up yet.
“I love you, Lily. Please call if you’re overwhelmed, please. Promise me you will—”
“I will, Ian,” she huffed with anger at his persistence. “Shit.”
He furrowed his brows. All he wanted was for her to be happy, but doubt was filling his thoughts and incomprehension was weighing on his heart. They were meant to be, how could it not work?
“I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Good night,” she muttered.
“Night, baby.” After hanging up, he tossed his cellphone to the table and it loudly thudded, bouncing off the table to the floor and knocked over one of the twelve vases.
Water rolled across the wood floor, parting around the other vases to make an unstoppable sea of destruction in its path. . . just like their lives were becoming.
Infuriation filled him. “Fuck!” he screamed.
He is trying hard to be here
I’ve been in bed since Friday night and Karen’s been at my side, on and off dozing ever since. She’s on so many pain pills I’m amazed she can keep her eyes open at all. It’s three on Saturday afternoon and Lily hasn’t called or text and I don’t want to bother her, I want her to clear her head or whatever she needs to do, but I miss her. I need to speak to her on a daily basis, that’s why I’m making the damn woman my wife! I need her.
Since we’ve returned from the Caribbean she’s been avoiding me, cursing more, angry, physical, moody, and depressed. Fuck! This is so aggravating how everything changed when we came back. Things went from beyond perfect to complete shit all in the matter of a five-hour flight.
Ashley has called me nine damn times today and I know what she wants because she’s also text me three times. She’s going out to a club tonight and wants me to come along. I’m not going to a fucking club without Lily.
My phone rings again and before I throw it across the room, I decide to check if it’s Lily. Not Lily, but it’s Mitch.
“Hey, man,” I answer in a low tone, looking over to see if I woke Karen. She’s snoring, out cold.
“I wake you, dude?”
“No, Karen’s sleeping.”
“Karen?”
I think when I left Barbados he thought it was just going to be me and Lily. We didn’t really talk it over. He just said he’ll be at the wedding, and really, this isn’t something I want to explain.
I change the subject. “How’s it goin’?”
“You’re missing out on paradise. Ashley made me call you.”
“Ahh, you slimy bastard, I thought you cared.”
“I don’t. Call her, she’s on my ass.”
“Man, I think you need to stay away from my sister.”
“I’m tryin’. She’s addictive.”
“Fuck you, dude,” I chuckle and hang up, not willing to hear about his infatuation with Ashley. Unfortunately I was subjected to more than I wanted while in Barbados.
I call my sister and the second she answers I know I’m going to the club, forced or willingly.
Inquietude chokes Her like razor wire
“Lily, honey, I know there’s something going on. You can talk to me.” Peachey says while we’re watching TV Saturday afternoon. This is all we’ve been doing; TV, puzzles, and reading and it’s perfect.
“I went to Barbados and I didn’t want to come back.” I shoot her an innocuous look; she’s not buying it.
“Who did you go to Barbados with? I didn’t even know you had a passport, Lily.”
I smirk; I’m such a recluse even my own mother doubts me.
“I went with friends. My friends Ashley and Ian.”
“Oh, the twins?” She smiles and I smirk because she remembers the thin
gs I tell her.
“Yeah. We stayed at their friend Mitch’s.” I can’t stop smiling.
“And you all had a pleasant time? Did you go for a long week?”
“I went for three weeks, mom.” I want her to know how despondent I am because we returned.
“That’s so long, Lily. When we talked, you were in Barbados?”
“Yeah.” I nod, staring pointlessly at the TV.
“Oh, I’d love to go. Was it beautiful?”
“So beautiful.” My voice is low and I’m zoning now, going back to Barbados.
“Lily?” she says a few times and I snap back. “Are you depressed, honey?”
“I think so.”
“How’s school?” I can tell by her face she’s trying to change the subject because she doesn’t know how to help me.
“I dropped out—”
“You what!” she squawks, getting to her feet.
“I’m getting married,” I blurt, thinking that’ll fix everything.
“What in God’s name are you talking about? Are you on drugs, Lilith?” Her face is red and her hands are on her hips; she’s pissed. I stare at her, but she’s becoming a blur and I can’t get out of this tunnel. “Lilith!” she shouts.
My eyes focus again and I can see how upset she is; she’s slightly shaking and not only is her face red, but her chest and arms are becoming splotchy.
All I think to do is throw my left hand into her face to flaunt my beautiful ring. Fuck me. She fainted.
“Mom!” I choke and pull her onto the couch.
I’m fanning her with my book and grab my phone to call an ambulance, but she starts shaking her head and mumbling.
“Fuck,” I mutter and wipe sweat dripping from my forehead.
I want to go home! I miss Ian.
*LUXE*
Lilith got Peachey settled with a beer then divulged as much as she could about Ian without mentioning Karen.
She stared at Lilith with worried eyes. “You don’t think it’s a little fast?”
“I think I’m madly in love with him, mom. I thought I was in love with Sloan and then I met Ian and I don’t even think I was in love with Sloan at all. I loved him, I mean there was feelings there, but I’m crazy about Ian.”
“I would be too,” Peachey muttered, looking the large diamond over. She raised her sad eyes to Lilith and Lilith somberly smiled. “You’re with him for the money?” she softly asked with a gasp, misreading Lilith’s expression.
“No,” Lilith huffed. “Not at all. I have a job, two jobs. I make good money.”
Unaware Lilith was working, Peachey proudly smiled. “What do you do?”
“I model.” She left it at that.
Peachey’s brow furrowed again. “Lily, I’m happy for you if this is really what you want, honey.”
“I think it is. I don’t know. It’s just so complicated. I don’t want to be without him and when we were in Bridgetown everything was so perfect, but then we had to come back home to reality.”
“What reality? You’re still in love aren’t you?”
“Yeah. I just feel hopeless in life. And it’s not because I dropped school.”
“Well what is it? Is it Ian?”
“Partially.” Lilith regrettably nodded. “I feel like I’m not enough for him. You know? Did you have that with dad?”
“Did I think your father would cheat?” She chuckled. “He wasn’t sober enough to know the difference between a man or a woman, honey. I knew he’d never look for another woman.”
“I just never thought Sloan would do anything like he did. He betrayed me in other ways than cheating and I think that’s causing my apprehension with Ian.” She looked at Peachey, who was frowning.
“Lily honey, if you think he would cheat, this is not who you should be with.”
“I don’t think he’d cheat, I think he has a lot of options. I think I hate myself,” she blubbered, putting her face in her arm on the table.
“You need to see a doctor, Lilith. You need to be evaluated for depression. It wouldn’t surprise me. Your father was depressed.” She casually shrugged. “You may be bipolar. Have it looked into.” A caring hand pressed onto Lilith’s arm.
“Yeah,” Lilith huffed, standing. “I’m going to take a nap,” she mumbled while walking to the stairs.
“Honey, it’s four in the afternoon,” Peachey called to her, but that didn’t stop her.
***
A big client from Germany needed a girl to fly home with him and play maid for the month while also sexually satisfying him.
“That’s completely feasible,” Ian agreed, not sure who he’d send.
Luxe was down three girls, well technically two because he had Lilith, but she was least available out of all the girls and he wanted to keep it that way.
“What features are you looking for?” Ian pulled at his tie when his phone beeped for the third time. The itch in his fingers to check if it was Lilith taunted him, but he was in a meeting, he absolutely wouldn’t check.
It wasn’t Lilith, it was Ashley and she was threatening to show up at his apartment.
BABY BROTHER: I will fucking meet you! Chill the fuck out Ashley. I just got out of the meeting. It’s only ten
With the intention of only staying an hour or two, he went directly to the club. The main reason Ashley insisted he go was because the owner was a client and Ian could get them all in without the wait in the cold Chicago air, or the exorbitant entrance fee.
After getting a drink, he sat in their booth, strongly expressing his annoyance with being at the club.
“Don’t fucking bother me,” he said, loosening his tie, then yanked his phone from his pocket.
Caesar sat next to him. “What’s got you pissy?”
His response was simple. “I don’t want to be here.”
“You want to be home with the wicked witch? How’s that working anyway? Can she like move and talk?”
Ian glared at him; Caesar scooted away.
Lowering his voice a little, he asked, “What happened to you and Lily?”
Keeping his eyes locked on his phone screen, Ian replied, “Nothing,” with a shrug.
“So Karen’s the one then? You let hot lips just run off with another man in Barbados—”
Ian interrupted him, snapping, “Don’t fuckin’ call her that. She didn’t run off with another man.”
“Like hell!” Caesar boasted. “I saw that fucking rock. Who the hell is Shaun anyway? You meet him? He’s a fuckin’ cop?”
Ian’s glare somehow turned colder as infuriation filled him.
“She told you about him? She told you he proposed to her?”
Sensing he may have said too much, Caesar bumbled, “Uh.”
During his tantrum, Ian stomped away to find a quiet spot to call Lilith, but she didn’t answer. She was sleeping away her winter depression. Drawing in a few breaths, he was grateful she didn’t answer. It would have been a futile fight.
His finger on the pulse
I don’t fucking want to be here so I start pounding drinks. I haven’t talked to Lily since yesterday. I don’t know if she’s okay. I don’t even fucking know if she’s ever coming home again.
My meeting with Ulf Werner didn’t go as planned. He offered me ten thousand less than standard and it’s not acceptable, except he’s a good client and I want his business in the future, but sending one of my best girls away for a month for ten thousand less is taking a hit.
Caesar has pissed me the fuck off. I feel like I’m being lied to by Ashley, or by Lily. By someone! Caesar talks to Ashley everyday, how can he not know the truth about Lily and me?
Ashley’s a sweaty mess as she approaches the booth with a man close enough to be her tail.
I look at her and she laughs. “What’d you tell Caesar?”
“What’d you tell Caesar,” I snarl.
“Nothing.” She wipes her forehead. “That’s your and Lilith’s place.”
“Well according to him, Lilith
told him her ring was from that cop. What’s fucking going on?” My eyes narrow.
“What’s going on?” she snickers and sits with her lackey shadowing her movements. “You’re marrying my best friend and fucking my worst enemy.”
This is not the place to piss her off; she’ll cause a scene and I really don’t want attention drawn to me.
It’s hard, but I manage to appear calm. “Did she tell Caesar he gave her the ring?”
She rolls her eyes. “Jokingly.” Her drink presses to her lips and she’s swallowing like it’s water and not a sixteen dollar Tequila Sunrise. “She didn’t tell him anything.” Getting to her feet, she kicks my shoe with her obnoxiously pointy toe. “Have some fun. Fuck, you’re a miserable prick since meeting Lily.”
I think that’s true.
At the bar, I’m approached by a man who immediately pushes his hand into mine and says, “Hey. Ian Jacks.”
I don’t know him, or I don’t remember him.
“I’ve bought from you before,” he says and I give him a firmer, friendlier handshake. “Ally? Alice?”
“Ally.” I nod.
He inhales through his teeth. “Nice girl. Real nice.”
“Thank you.” I turn back to the bar.
“Let me get your drink.”
Biting back my irritation, I tell him, “I’m all right, thanks. If you need anything, you have our number.” Taking my drink, I walk away as quickly as I casually can.
I’m not going to conduct business in a nightclub and I’m not going to let him buy me drinks with the hopes of cheaper rates on my girls.
There’s a girl sitting at our booth. It’s my fucking booth! When I come here I request the same booth every time and I get it. I approach the table and glance around, seeing she’s alone.
“You sitting here?” I ask; obviously she’s fucking sitting here.
“I’m waiting for Ashley.”
I slightly shake my head and sit.
“I’m Nic—”
“I’m married,” I interrupt before she says anything else.
Extremely offended, she snickers, “I’m gay.”
Now I realize this is catfight Nic, Nic that scratched my girl, Nic that I don’t like.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, wanting to know why she’s around.