by Frost, H. Q.
“Ian!” She hit his chest. “Why are you here?”
“I live here.” He kissed her again. Grinning, she pulled away to turn the music down. “I heard there was a free concert.”
“Ian.” She turned to face him, wanting a real answer.
“You have the best voice, baby. Make me some music—”
“Ian!” she snapped then chuckled that he kept skating around answering.
“I wanted to be with you.”
“You’re going to be with me all week.”
“I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” He let out a scoff not sure why she was upset he was home.
“You have work to do.”
“No, actually that’s you. Justin Borg called today.”
Lilith quickly looked at him.
“He wants you for Saturday. He’s willing to pay good money.”
“Saturday should be fine.”
“Baby.” He walked over to her, grabbing her sides. “Don’t you think it’ll be too soon?”
“I’m not having sex with him, Ian,” she snickered. “If it’s good money, set it up.” She pulled from his arms and walked down the hall toward the bathroom. Leaving the door open a crack, she called to him, “Why are you really home early?”
Hearing her urine stream, he laughed. “I wanted to be with you, baby. I just want to spend the week together, here, no one else, nowhere else. Nothing but us—”
With a wince, she interrupted him, “Ashley’s coming over. I didn’t know you’d be home. I thought you’d be out late.”
“I couldn’t focus,” he admitted.
Attentively, she approached him and softly asked, “What about Karen?”
“I told her I needed a week off.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, her attentive gaze turned to reluctance.
“From what?”
“Pretty much her.”
“How’d she feel about that?”
“She asked if I was cheating.” He continued to say the least amount as possible until she pushed for more.
Her annoyance was peaking, she wanted the whole damn story at once.
“And?”
“I said no I just have shit going on and she can deal with her problems her way and I’ll deal with mine my way.”
With a loud laugh of offense, she boasted, “Oh! I’m a problem! That’s great, Ian.” Angry laughter carried with her stomping steps toward the kitchen.
“No, baby, come on,” he snickered, following her. “That’s not what I meant.”
“At the end of the month Shaun will be in town. I’ll be with him for the week and like suggested, I’ll get an apartment so we won’t be here.” It came out as if she wanted to hurt him because he hurt her. It was childish and it was exactly what she was doing.
Taken aback by her arbitrary confession, he asked, “When?”
“Second from last week in October.”
“That’s my mother’s birthday weekend.”
“I’m well aware. There’s really no reason for me to be there.”
“You’re going to be my wife, Lily.” He spoke to her dully.
Lilith began to laugh. “Can’t wait to make that announcement, honey. Maybe we can have Karen gather everyone in the family room for it.” She rolled her eyes. “You know you’re really bad at this. This is your big fucking secret, Ian, and I’m the only one trying to keep it. Make up your mind because I’m not into torturing Karen until you decide for the truth to be out.”
“I’m not trying to torture her.”
“Then stop your stupid games.” She started to laugh again. Laughter was her only way of expressing her anger without physical contact. “It’s all a stupid game. I thought we were in an understanding at what this was? I love you and want you, you love me and want me. I want other people and you want Karen—”
“I did not say that!” he retorted.
“No, you’re right, you said you love me and Karen. I, on the other hand, only love you. You know what?” She grabbed his face. “I love you, baby.” She kissed his lips with a quick, meaningless peck. “I’m not going to fight over this. Go change, you’re soaking wet. I’m leaving soon.”
“Leaving where?” He pouted. Not only was he a cluster fuck of irrational emotions that day, she was too.
“Out with Ashley.”
“You said she was coming here!”
“Go back to work. Go be with your girlfriend.”
“I want to be with you.” He put his hand on her hip.
“I want to be with you too, baby, but you’re frustrating the hell out of me today. I’m in a good mood for the first time in days and you’re really ruining that. Go spend time with Karen.”
“I don’t want to be with her,” he said with a pout, sitting on a stool.
“That makes two of us.” She walked into the bedroom; he pinched the bridge of his nose.
When Ashley walked through the door, Ian looked at her perturbed.
“Lilith, I hope you’re naked!” she called out, not noticing him. When she turned, she groaned, “Ugh, never mind,” then scowled at him. “Why are you here?”
“Ashley, please,” he muttered.
“Aw, little brother, you stressing yourself too much from all the bullshit you’ve caused?” Her delighted grin disgusted him.
With a sweet smile, Lilith walked out of the bedroom.
“Hey.” Her lips were popping red and she had her hair messily pulled back. Ian looked at her, he liked when she was happy, but it was pissing him off. What’d she have to be happy about?
Her prayers for rain
I love the rain today. Everything seems more peaceful today. Ian was starting to piss me off, but once I got away from him, my mood bounced back. I don’t know if I’m beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel because I’m taking care of my mistake, or what it is.
I’m excited Shaun’s coming to town and I’m happy Ian’s been really attentive. At least yesterday. We spent our entire Sunday in bed and it was perfect. Oh, also Ian told me I’ll be seeing Justin Saturday and I’m looking forward to that. I’m also looking forward to Sunday; Ian’s meeting my mom and her side of the family. My life is either going to get more chaotic, or a little more interesting.
While Ashley and I are headed to Caesar’s, so he can develop a few pictures for us, Ian texts me.
IAN: Karen said she saw Sloan Mac being arrested today.
I don’t know why I should care, it involves my two least favorite people, but I respond.
MY FREJYA: About time. Please don’t forget about Sunday and please book the job for Saturday, also please put the clothes form the washer into the dryer <3
He doesn’t respond, but that’s okay, I know he’s pissed. He seems to be having a bad day and I probably should have stuck around, but I don’t want him ruining my good mood. I also don’t need him begging me not to go through with tomorrow.
“So I need this mailed out by Friday. She’s eager and I want my money.” Ashley’s talking about Janet; we still haven’t settled on which photographs to send her.
“Yeah, I need to get paid. I want to buy a new car.”
“What?” She laughs at me. “You just got a new car.”
“I want a Lincoln.” I can’t stop my grin. “Don’t tell Ian, but I’m gonna have him sell the BMW. I like it, I just want a Lincoln.”
“A Lincoln.” She grimaces.
“Oh shut up!” I laugh. “I want a Bentley, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford that, so I’ll take a Lincoln.”
“Well as soon as she pays me, you’ll get paid. Not enough to buy a car, but a nice piece. I’m having an art show in a couple weeks. Heidi’s pulled some strings and there’s gonna be some important people there. You know anything to do with you, you get a percentage.”
“I want to go.” I haven’t told her about Heidi yet, what Ian told me.
“Of course you’ll be there, slutty.”
We usually agree on most things, but
today we can’t agree on anything and I can’t help but think she’s feeling a little against me today for what I’m about to do tomorrow.
“I need to eat,” I mutter; my good mood has gone way down due to hunger.
“Let’s eat. Heidi wants to meet for dinner and drinks. You up?”
“Yeah.” I force a smile. I’m not going to tell her. I decide, instead, to attempt to make Heidi uncomfortable through this dinner. “Just have to take out my contacts,” I mumble. My eyes have been burning all day, maybe because I sleep in my contacts too much, or maybe it’s because I need new contacts. But I’m going to blame it on being pregnant.
I look in the mirror and I haven’t seen my mom in a few days. With my glasses on I look like a trite sexy librarian. I laugh as I try to tame my hair.
“Fuck it,” I mumble, leaving the bathroom. “We’re not going anywhere important, right? I really don’t want to change.”
“No. You look fine.”
Black skinny jeans and a black polka dotted sweater with a collar, add my glasses and I look like a huge book nerd; consider my makeup and I’m a book nerd about to shoot a porno. I don’t want to go anywhere high-end looking like this.
As we approach the table, Heidi’s waiting and she looks surprised to see me. I’m pleased by this. That’s right bitch, you should just assume I’ll be everywhere Ashley is. I almost laugh out.
She puts on a fake smile as she hugs me and says, “Lily, it’s nice to see you.”
“A little less indisposed,” I say while hugging her. I smile and sit, then look at Ashley, giving her my sweetest smile.
“No Ian?” Heidi says, because she’s a bitch.
I chuckle, my defense tactic today. It’s better than physical violence, right?
“No.” I keep a smile plastered on my face. “He’s at home planning the wedding. I have nothing to do with this wedding. The tables are turned; I’m apathetic about it all and he’s groomzilla.”
Ashley lets out a confused laugh.
“He’s eager.” Heidi smiles and directs her attention to her menu. “I like your top.” She glances at me over the menu.
“Ian bought it for me,” I lie.
Throughout dinner, I find a way to talk about Ian as much as I can and I think Ashley knows what I’m doing, but she doesn’t say anything. It’s really making Heidi squirm. My poor Ian. I’m inadvertently making him seem completely obsessed, head over heels for me. I’m ready to go home and apologetically fuck him for making him seem so desperate for me.
***
“Ian?” I call into the dark house. His car’s still in the driveway so I think he’s here. “Baby?” Heading down the hall, my steps slow as I hit the candlelit living room.
I smile, looking around; there’re flowers everywhere. The smell is a little overwhelming, but I won’t tell him that. There’s at least thirty candles lit around the dining room and living room.
“Ian?” I call out again, laughing and walk into the bedroom.
Candlelight’s dancing on the bedroom walls and he has rose petals covering the bed. This makes me laugh loudly; I can’t believe he did this. He steps out of the bathroom and grins.
“Been busy?”
“Not really.” He saunters over to me. “I missed you today.” He kisses me then pulls back and looks at me oddly, but with a smile.
Descent so low He cannot feel the fire
She’s really fucking cute when she wears her glasses. I rarely get to see her in them because she either has her contacts in, or walks around partially blind. She’s smiling and holding back laughter. This is by far my most sissy display of affection I’ve ever pulled off, but I think she likes it.
“Bath?” I ask.
We’ve never taken a bath together. I’ve tried several times but it just never happens. When I first got with Karen, she loved taking a bath together, she said it made her feel closer to me. I never really understood, but if it has the same effect on Lily then that’s what I want to do.
She raises one eyebrow and narrows her other eye. “What’d you do?”
I start to laugh, I should be offended, but I hope she’s joking.
“Fell in love with an amazing woman,” I say, pulling her into the bathroom. “You’re my Freyja.”
With a confused look at me, she laughs. “Freyja?”
I smile with a nod while I undress her.
“I’m not following.” Her voice gets small. She does this when she’s unsure about something she thinks she might understand. With her uncertainty she scrunches her nose and it’s fucking cute, then she says, “Norse goddess?”
“Would you rather be Greek? Aphrodite’s got nothin’ on Freyja.”
“I’m not Scandinavian.”
“But I am.” I grin. “You’ve had me in you.” I wink at her and she laughs hysterically.
When she stops laughing she’s still smiling, staring at me. She’s looking at me in a way I look at her, happy, fucking ecstatic with the knowing that this is so right as hard as it might get.
“You know I’m Greek right?” She giggles and I look away briefly because I didn’t know that.
“With a little Scandinavian in you—”
“I little!” she boasts in laughter and throws her arms around my neck. She pushes her nose to mine and says, “A lot. A whole lot.” Her teeth sink into my lip, making me growl.
I’d love to fuck her right now but that’d negate the whole bath idea. Closeness and comfort, not having to fuck every time we touch, some crap like that. I should just fuck her. Letting her go, I decide I’m not going to skip this bath; we distract too easily. On my knees, I start to untie her shoes.
“So you’ve all of a sudden decided to change my name?”
“No.” I push her pants down. “I’ve been calling you that for a while now. You’re saved in my phone as ‘My Freyja’.”
Still on my knees, I’m staring at her shaved pussy; she smells like . . . my Freyja. She’s nothing like any other woman I’ve seen, smelled, encountered. She’s by far the best thing I’ve ever come in contact with and she smells like home and comfort. I think all those elements make this true love.
“Ian.” She’s self-conscious and covering herself with her hand.
“Stop.” I grab her wrist, pulling her hand away. “You’re perfect, baby.” My lips go to her lower stomach, hoping she believes me when I tell her that stuff, because I mean it. She’s imperfectly perfect for me.
“You’ll have to brief me on Norse mythology.” She chuckles and steps into the water.
“Freyja is the goddess of love.” I glance at her while removing my shirt. “Beauty, sexuality, war, gold. She’s an all around badass that’s sexy as hell.” I left out fertility and death. For obvious reasons.
She’s laughing at me. “Who was the goddess that looked over the dead? She got half. . . .” She’s thinking really hard and I want to laugh because of course she’s going to force me into mentioning Freyja’s also associated with death.
“That’s you too.” I smirk and step in.
The water isn’t hot enough for me, but I know she likes lukewarm water when showering and I’ve seen what her porcelain skin looks like after getting out of a hot shower.
Now I have to tell her I also associate her with death. “She got half of the dead who died in battle and the other half went to Odin—”
“Why do you know this stuff?” She’s laughing at me as she sits in front of me.
“Come on, who doesn’t know who Thor is? And Odin’s Thor’s dad—”
She interrupts me, laughing harder. “That doesn’t explain why you’re into Norse mythology.”
“I’m into a lot, baby.” I pull her to lie back on me and kiss her temple.
“I’d like to know that stuff.” She sounds disappointed she doesn’t know this stuff about me.
There’s a lot we have to discover about each other; we haven’t known each other long, but I don’t need to know what kind of things she nerded out on when she was a ki
d to know I’m insane over her. I need this woman.
After an hour, we’re not talking anymore. Both silence and conversation comes naturally when I’m with Lily. With Karen, if she’s not constantly talking it’s because I’m fucking her, but even through that she talks too much.
The water’s only getting cooler, but I don’t want to move. My fingers have pruned and I hate that feeling, but we’re so relaxed I could sit here for a few more hours.
“Ian?” She sounds about as relaxed as I am. We haven’t even moved in the last twenty minutes.
“Hmm?” I lean my head down to kiss the side of her face.
“What do you call Karen?”
I know I shouldn’t be, but right now I’m so comfortable talking to Lily about Karen I’d tell her anything she wanted to know. As demented as it is, I feel like Karen is a project we have together.
“Kare usually.”
“What else?”
“Sometimes honey.”
“Do you call her baby?” She looks back and up at me.
“No.” That’s the truth, I never have. She calls me babe, but I’ve never used that on her. I don’t know why and I don’t know how I got to calling Lily baby, but she’s the only one.
“What does she call you?” She’s rubbing her pruned fingers together. I even hate the way pruned fingers look.
“Usually babe.”
“Sloan used to call me sweetheart. I can’t stand sweetheart anymore. Never call me that, oh, and Lil. I hate Lil!” she growls.
I chuckle, kissing her head again.
“You’re my Freyja and my baby,” I tell her and bring her pruned fingers to my lips.
“I like that.” She turns to face me, kneeling between my legs. “We’re going to have to start using protection at least for a month after I start my pills.”
“When do you think we’ll have sex again? Can’t be anytime soon.”
“They sent me paperwork, it says at least seven days, but fourteen is more ideal.”
“What’s the risk?”
“Infection.” She shrugs.
The thought is nauseating. All of it. I don’t know what the procedure is and I never thought I would. Having to wait that long to have sex with her is rough, but I’ll wait a damn month if it means nothing will happen to her like infection. This shit isn’t a relaxing conversation topic I want to have.