Luke (A Redemption Romance #1)

by Anna Scott

  Aurora

  It had been ten days since I’d seen Luke. The night of Nolan’s funeral we’d gone to sleep together, but his work phone rang in the middle of the night with an emergency. I realized how strange it had been that he hadn’t been called away at all, the entire week he’d stayed with me.

  He’d gotten up, grabbed his stuff from the guest room, called Rusty to ‘come’, kissed me on the forehead and told me to go back to sleep. I hadn’t seen him since. We’d texted and talked a few times, he told me how busy work was and I didn’t press him. I wasn’t one to chase a man.

  I convinced myself that he was just comforting me, that I had mistaken what he’d meant by wanting to be with me. I remembered him talking about getting me into bed, but either he had changed his mind or hadn’t really meant it in the first place.

  The passionate kisses we’d enjoyed meant a lot more to me than they had to him, obviously. On Monday, over a week since I’d seen him, hurt and embarrassed, I stopped taking his calls, not that there were many.

  He’d called me twice, I let them ring through to voicemail then deliberately made myself wait a while before responding with a quick text, saying that I was busy and would get back to him. One thing that was good at least, the store was so busy I hardly had time to breathe.

  The week before Nolan’s funeral, I hadn’t been in at all so there was plenty for me to get caught up on. Amber had closed the store completely the day of the service and closed early on the day of the viewing. I still didn’t know why they called it a viewing, it wasn’t like the casket was open, but whatever, it didn’t matter.

  I heard the soft melodic chime above the door and looked up to see Reed striding in. I plastered a huge smile on my face for my friend.

  “Hey, stranger, how are you girl?”

  “Hi, Reed, I’m doing all right, you?” I just barely held back a cringe at those words. They brought too many memories of my time with Luke. Was it only a week that we spent together? I had to keep a happy face for Reed, he knew me too well.

  “I’m good, have time to grab lunch? I tried to call but you didn’t pick up, since I was just down the street, I decided to take a chance and stop in.”

  “You never come in here! You always tell me how you’re too manly to be in such a girly place.”

  “Yeah, all the pink and ruffle shit makes my skin crawl, but I am sacrificing my manhood so I can see you.”

  “You just want Thai and you hate eating alone.”

  “That is true, but that pink chair thing is still painful to my masculine sensibilities.” I laughed so hard, tears sprang to my eyes, and I came around the counter to hug him.

  “I’m glad you came by, I don’t think I’ve laughed this hard in weeks.” I felt Reed pull back and look down into my face with a question in his eyes. I realized that I’d revealed too much. In order to avoid that conversation, I pinched his arm, stepped away and yelled to Amber. My purse was at my desk in the back, along with my phone. I’d left my phone back there today, so I would avoid checking it every five minutes to see if Luke had tried to reach me. It was pathetic, really.

  “Let me grab my bag and check on Sadie, I’ll be right back. Amber can take care of the store while I’m gone.” Sadie, slept away most of every day at Indulgence on her soft dog bed in my office. I took her out every couple of hours and sometimes, she would wander out to visit us in front of the store. I had to keep her well-groomed all the time, so her fur didn’t fly all over the high end clothes. That was a small sacrifice though, to keep her with me.

  Just then, the front door chimed again and my friend Gillian Young walked in. Gillian was shorter than me, though not by much. Maybe about five-feet-seven, had beautifully full, shoulder length blonde hair and the most interesting dark blue eyes; they were almost navy. We’d been friends for over two years, since I opened the store.

  She owned the coffee shop down the street. Café Fantasia was the name and they made everything taste so wonderful. Their pastries, cookies and muffins were all made in house and the coffee was to-die-for. She was possibly the sweetest woman I knew, younger than me by a year or two. Her parents had owned the shop before her, but had retired and moved to Galveston.

  I changed course and walked toward her

  “Hey Gillian! How are you sweetheart?”

  She hugged me and we exchanged quick pleasantries. I explained that I was just heading to lunch and that Amber would be here. She needed a dress for her friend’s wedding and had a few minutes to stop in and check to see if I had anything that would work for her.

  Amber came out front to relieve me, greeted Gillian and they started to walk away. I noticed the twinkle in the Reed’s eyes when he looked at Gillian. It seemed like he hadn’t taken his eyes off her since she’d walked in.

  Taking Gillian’s arm, I pulled her toward him, before she and Amber got too far into the racks. As we got closer, her eyes widened as she looked up and up and up to meet his twinkling ice blue eyes.

  “Gillian, this is my good friend, Reed Allen. Reed, this is Gillian Young.”

  Reed’s eyes locked onto Gillian’s, he reached out, grabbed the hand she offered and shook it. Their eyes were fixated on each other, until Amber inadvertently broke the spell.

  “Gilli, what about this one?” Amber called, holding up a light blue sheath dress. The color almost matched Reed’s eyes.

  I saw Reed shake his head, as if to clear it, when Gillian turned to see what Amber had for her, he turned to me and asked: “You ready?”

  “Let me grab my purse.”

  “You don’t need it, it’s on me.”

  I nodded in appreciation and called over my shoulder to Amber “I don’t have my phone, I’ll be at the Thai place if you need me; and check on Sadie will you? I just took her out about thirty minutes ago, so she should be fine.”

  “We’ll be fine! Don’t worry.”

  Reed and I made our way down the block and settled in at a front table. I could see out the front windows and Reed, as always, faced the door and the other patrons; his back was always to the wall.

  “What’s going on with you Aurora? You seem; I don’t know - off.”

  “Just trying to find my new normal without Nolan,” I replied after a few moments of thought. I was also trying to find a way to live without Luke, but didn’t want to talk to Reed about that.

  I knew in my head that nothing serious had happened between us, that there was no reason for me to act like this, he hadn’t made me any promises. Obviously, he hadn’t meant what I’d thought and we were just friends. The kisses could be explained away as expressions of sympathy or comfort; well most of them. The niggling thoughts in the back of my head, that I was just fooling myself were there, but I did my best to tamp those down. I was working hard not to break in two here, I didn’t need the reminders of Luke talking about having daughters with long red hair.

  Reed nodded in understanding, reached across the table and patted my small hand with his beefy one. He was such a big guy, I’d always felt tiny around him, even though I was much taller than most women.

  We ate our meals, exchanging small talk and I enjoyed the time. I forced my mind to the present and away from Luke.

  Reed asked me about Gillian, so I told him about the coffee shop and her parent’s retirement, how we’d met and become friends. He seemed interested in her and I was excited to see if something would happen between them in the future.

  Reed walked me back to the store, gave me a hug and went back to work. I really didn’t want to know what an ATF agent was doing in this area, but he was out here often. He had assured me several times that I didn’t need to move my store, that the area was as safe as it could be which gave me some modicum of reassurance.

  By six o’clock, I was exhausted. I’d been at the store early to try and get caught up on paperwork, so I gathered my purse, and picked up my phone for the first time all day. I had three missed calls; Reed had called twice and Hope had called to check in, but nothing from Luke
. I switched over to check my missed texts. There were four from Luke. My heart skipped a beat at the excitement of seeing his name on my screen, but it plummeted when I read the messages.

  Luke: Hey Rory

  Luke: Aurora, haven’t heard from you, how are you?

  Luke: What’s up, did you lose your phone again?

  Luke: Hey, keep missing you. I’m working tonight, talk to you tomorrow.

  There was nothing remotely personal in his texts. Nothing to show that I’d ever been anything to him, other than Nolan’s little sister. I couldn’t keep this up. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay friends with him, couldn’t pretend that for almost a week, he hadn’t treated me like gold; that for two nights he’d held me in his arms while I slept, didn’t want to let me go so he stayed with me in the bed, because he had. He’d even gotten jealous of my long hug with Reed; was I making this stuff up? Maybe I was just seeing what I’d wanted for so long.

  Throwing the stupid phone into my purse, I walked out to my car and drove home. Once I grabbed a quick dinner and changed, Sadie and I went for a long walk - without my stupid phone. I was purposely leaving it behind, or out of reach more and more.

  For the first few days after Luke left, I kept it next to me all the time, checking it constantly. That took about a week to realize I was obsessing. Then, I tried hard to set it aside. Now, I was determined. The texts from today sealed it, I was letting go of the hope I’d felt, letting go of the confusion and moving forward with my life, without Nolan and without Luke.

  Sunday was my first day off in two weeks. I’d been working so hard to get things done, I hadn’t allowed myself time. I was also trying to give Amber some paid days off to make up for her working so many hours for me.

  I needed to get to Nolan’s house; I’d been there a couple of times since the funeral. I had come by to check the mail, get his checkbook and deal with his bills, but nothing else. He had an old will left over from his deployment, which apparently was still good; it listed my mother as the primary beneficiary but me as the secondary. Thankfully, he’d had the forethought to do that, it made taking care of his affairs so much easier.

  The first week after the funeral, I’d called the cable company, his cell phone carrier, his bank and the gym he belonged to. I got all those accounts closed, thankfully I had the death certificate and the estate judgment I’d needed. He had plenty in savings to pay off his truck and the little debt he had, nothing major. He had a small life insurance policy too, and his house had been paid off for years, it was our childhood home. I didn’t know what I’d do with it all, but since I just had to cover the taxes and insurance, I’d hold onto it until I was more emotionally stable and could make sound decisions.

  I needed to go over and clean out the fridge, and cabinets then go through his stuff. Thankfully, the next door neighbors were old family friends, so they’d offered to keep his lawn watered and mowed until I got a service to come in and take care of it. I was pretty sure that the fridge would be disgusting by now, so I’d ordered a large garbage pickup for Monday and brought my long dishwashing gloves and plenty of cleaner with me.

  First things first, I got through the dirty and nasty chores, and then moved on to the most emotionally painful ones. Luke was kind enough to have the crime scene cleaners come in; they’d taken care of the scene, and even repaired, and repainted the wall, and shampooed the carpeting. There was no longer any trace of my brother’s suicide, only the lingering feeling of pain, but I was pretty sure that was in my own heart, not the house’s fault.

  I was sitting in the middle of my brother’s guest bedroom floor looking through family heirlooms and keepsakes, ones mom had put up in the closet for us years ago. Without anyone living here, I wanted to move this stuff to my house so no one caught wind that the house was vacant and broke in. Most of the items weren’t worth a lot, but it was all sentimental.

  As the landline began to ring, I realized that I had forgotten to have it disconnected. It felt strange, walking through Nolan’s house, answering his phone. Who the hell would be calling here? Who didn’t know he was gone? I’d run into people we knew casually, at the store or around town a few times and had to tell them when they asked about him... That was really difficult, like a punch to the gut every time.

  “Hello,” I greeted hesitantly.

  “Aurora! Fuck girl, there you are! Why don’t you have your phone?”

  “Reed? What’s wrong?”

  “I’m standing on your doorstep, your car is here and you’re not answering the door, your house phone or your cell. I was about to break in. I thought you were in there hurt or something.”

  “How did you figure out I was here?”

  “It was my last guess, I called Luke, thought you’d be over there, but he said he didn’t know where you were, called the other guys, no one knew anything. It was just a hunch, but I tried this number.”

  The reminder of Luke hurt. I hadn’t said his name in a week. Hadn’t talked to him or responded to the couple of texts he’d sent. A few of them seemed irritated that I wasn’t responding, but most seemed totally normal. Not once in the past two weeks had he asked to see me, I’d had to cut myself off completely. Maybe in a few months we could go back to friendship, but not yet.

  “Sorry Reed, I had to get started on stuff over here, Amber dropped me off at the U-Haul place this morning, so I didn’t have to worry about leaving my car there all day. Why are you at my house?”

  “Are you there alone?”

  “Yeah?” The confusion in my voice must have been obvious.

  “Why isn’t Luke with you? You shouldn’t be doing that alone.”

  “Reed! Why are you at my house?” I shouted at him, trying to keep his attention on this one thing.

  “Oh, I was just going to return that little vacuum thing.” He seemed distracted.

  “Cool, just leave it on the porch behind the blue chair.” I was doing everything I could to sound normal.

  “Aurora, what the fuck? I’m coming over there, are you okay? You sound strange.”

  “I’m fine Reed, Jesus! I already cleaned out the fridge, threw out all the perishables and boxed up all the packaged food to donate. Now I’m sorting through some old things of mom’s, getting ready to move a few things to my house. I’m not going to be here much longer, just another couple of hours. I just need to box this stuff up and find a few things I need from his files. His stuff is remarkably well organized.”

  “All right, I’m leaving your little robot thing behind the blue chair. Thanks again, by the way; I’m going to buy one of those things next time I go to Costco.”

  “Good idea, a lot easier to just clean it out than to actually vacuum your own floor all the time. With Sadie’s hair all over the house, I have it run every day.” We finished up and disconnected the call. At least I’d been able to dissuade him from coming over here. I was having a hard enough time keeping him from asking questions about Luke. Thankfully, I’d changed the subject every time he brought it up. I had no idea why he thought Luke would be over here.

  Obviously, Luke had been a great friend to Nolan. He’d been there for me when I needed him most. Honestly, I needed to grow up, stop avoiding him and thank him for everything. He was probably struggling just as much as I was with Nolan’s death. He kept it together that entire week, hardly breaking down at all.

  Realizing how selfish I’d been, how ungrateful I was, I felt like shit. I was acting like a baby because I thought he wanted something from me, something more and obviously I was wrong; but that didn’t take away everything he did, he didn’t have to stay at my house every night for six nights. He didn’t have to help me make decisions on caskets; he did all that out of the kindness of his heart.

  Deciding that I’d been a major bitch, and needed to reach out to Luke, I planned to call him to check on him when I got home, but I’d send an email now.

  Walking into Nolan’s office, I was hit with the remnants of his scent. The comforting presence of my brother s
urrounded me and gave me the strength I needed.

  The office wasn’t much really, just the third bedroom that held his desk and computer, files and stuff. It had worked for Nolan and I certainly didn’t need any more than that right now. Now, I was glad I hadn’t canceled the landline, there was still internet. Stupid me, acting like a twit, hiding from my phone so I couldn’t send him a text. That was just fine, I’d sign on to my email account from Nolan’s laptop and send an email from there.

  It took me a couple of minutes to get it turned on and sign into my account but once I got settled, I was determined to grow up.

  To: Luke Jackson

  Re: Thank You

  Hey Luke, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything you did for me after Nolan’s death. I wish I would have told you, wish I would have been in the right mind to let you know how much your help meant to me. I don’t know what I would have done if it hadn’t been for you. I know it isn’t enough, but I just wanted you to know. I can’t ever repay you for everything you did; you were so sweet to me.

  I’m doing all right and I hope you are too, if you ever need to talk, I’ll always be here.

  Aurora

  I was feeling better: at least I’d told him, I’d reached out to him in some way.

  Walking back into the other room, I packed up the heirlooms. It took another hour in that room, and then I moved into the office to find the paperwork I needed. There was so much to do, accounts to deal with, it wasn’t like Nolan and I talked about our personal bills or where we had accounts.

  I searched through the filing cabinet and found a bunch of papers. Packing a bankers box with files, I moved back over to the desk to look around for anything else. I shut down the laptop and put that in the box and started to look through the drawers.

  I pulled open the middle drawer as I moved from one set of drawers to the other. What I found inside stopped my heart. Lying inside the drawer, neatly stacked were cream colored envelopes. I reached in to pick them up and paused, staring at the one on top. In Nolan’s neat, bold print, it read ‘Aurora’ and the last thing I wanted to do was to pick that thing up. Could I do it? Could I read what my brother had obviously written to me?