The You I'll Love Forever

by Alison Kent

  “Ha Ha. Ha,” she said, waving him away.

  He left her in her room, where she made one more critical check of her dress, the evenness of the hem in the back, the flatness of her tummy in the front. She pulled and fluffed at the spikes of her hair, wiped a smudge of shadow from beneath her lower lashes, ran her tongue over her teeth and blotted her lips. The package was as good as it was going to get.

  Hmm. Except for an aggravating wisp of hair. She really did need to find a pair of scissors and even up the section of bangs. But she’d have to do with a spritz of hair spray at the roots for now.

  She turned toward the bathroom and stopped, heart rising into her throat when she saw Carson leaning negligently against her door frame.

  She hadn’t been sure what he would wear. He was the photographer for the evening, after all. But he’d gone all out. The tux was black, the shirt crisp and white. The elegant simplicity wasn’t as easy to pull off as it might’ve seemed.

  Most men didn’t have that elusive sense of presence that hovered around Carson. He looked like the spin of the earth waited for his command, like the sands shifted with a snap of his fingers, like the moon pulled at the tides when he gave the word.

  She’d made love with this man. She loved this man. And this man loved her. Which was why before the end of this magical night she would tell him the truth of their history. Her feelings. The events. Everything she’d left out up to this point. Everything she wanted him to know.

  “Are you just going to stand there and undress me with your eyes? Or are you going to fix that piece of hair that’s bothering you?”

  Arrogant man. She stuck out her tongue. “How did you know it was bothering me?”

  “Because I know you. You were contemplating scissors, but didn’t want the clipped hair to ruin your dress.”

  She narrowed her eyes in his direction. “You’re uncanny, you know that?”

  “No. You’re just practical. Even when you modeled you hated messing with your hair.”

  She couldn’t believe he remembered. How many times had he taken the scissors out of her hands? “I was only going to make a little snip. But, in deference to the dress, I’ve opted for hair spray instead.”

  He pushed off the door and walked into her bedroom and in a circle around her, studying her from all angles. The look in his eyes once he finished the tour made her glad she’d gone to so much trouble. That look, that appreciative devouring gleam was worth anything.

  “Is the dress new?”

  She nodded. “I bought it in New York.”

  “Nobody else has seen you wearing it?”

  She shook her head slowly. What was he up to? “Only Zack.”

  “Good. Because every time you wear this dress,” he said, dipping a finger into the hollow of her throat just above her neckline, “you’re going to think about me.”

  “I am?” Her breathing quickened, her knees trembled.

  He gave one lazy nod. “You’re going to think about this.”

  She’d expected his finger to move lower. Instead, it rose. Slowly, slowly, upward, his touch following the line of her neck, stopping at the point of her chin which he lifted, demanding she look into his eyes.

  “You’re going to think about how much I want you. How much I want to see you standing there in nothing but your heels and your stockings.” His nostrils flared, his eves flashed. “How much I want to lay you down and move into your body and lie still until we can’t lie still anymore. When you wear this dress, I want you to think about me.”

  Eva couldn’t think about anything else. Inside the dress, her body had melted. She’d have to be peeled out of the silk.

  “Now. Let’s go take some pictures and dance.”

  Chapter Twenty-four

  CARSON COULDN’T TAKE his eyes off Eva. He’d finished with the portraits an hour ago and once he’d packed away his gear, had stayed as a volunteer chaperone. He shouldn’t have bothered. He had no idea what the kids were getting away with right under his nose because Eva had his full attention.

  She, on the other hand, was checking up on her young charges, deftly separating those who stood too close to one another, rounding up those who stood too far away from the crowd. But it was the way she accomplished both tasks that had Carson’s face aching from the grin that wouldn’t quit.

  Like a nymph, a sprite nipping in and out of a field of flowers, she flitted and flirted her way through Lake City High’s darkened cafeteria decorated in silver and blue. The kids either laughed or dropped their jaws in awe. This age group was too young to have known who Eva had been during her two years in the industry. But word was circling like a wagon train.

  Eva was in her element. As much as she hated any reminders of her days in New York, she had survived and gone on to build this life here with her son. She had survived worse times as well: the loss of her mother, the loss of the man to whom she’d been married—the man who’d been the father of her child.

  Eva had told Carson she didn’t know if they stood a chance of making this thing work the second time around. She was wrong. Having been with her here the last month, he knew without a doubt she was wrong. They might not have been able to make a go of the relationship they’d had in their younger years. But now they had what it took.

  Standing just inside the cafeteria door watching her, he was suddenly stuck with an overwhelming sense of all that he was feeling. The emotional and the physical had long since ceased to be two separate entities.

  What he felt for Eva was love, complete with all the emotion’s complexities and simplicities. He couldn’t concentrate on any one aspect without the rest coming away attached. And the power of what he was feeling was something he needed to share with her. Now.

  He moved into the room, hugging the perimeter as he began his advance and seduction. After a moment of reconnaissance, he found where she had landed. The poppy-red butterfly had found her offspring and was gettin’ down with an energy that rivaled Zack’s and Katie’s. He recognized several of the teens’ friends. Holly and Aaron. Bonnie and Ben.

  Hands stuffed in his pockets, Carson ventured forth into unfamiliar territory. He acknowledged Katie’s wave, the lift of Zack’s chin, but had no real attention for anyone but Eva.

  He wanted to lick away the bead of sweat rolling from her temple to her neck. He wanted to make quick work of her dress, even if it was with the scissors she’d been contemplating earlier. None of those were possible with an audience, or even practical from any point of view.

  He had to get her out of here. He took hold of her upper arm. She glanced his way and asked him a question with her eyes. He inclined his head with a silent, “Let’s go.”

  She smiled and answered, “Were you looking for me?”

  Had there been a time in his life when he hadn’t been looking for her? Hadn’t half his travels around the globe been in search of what he’d found here in Lake City, Texas?

  “I can’t decide who’s having more fun. The kids or the chaperone who thinks she’s a kid,” he said, as she walked beside him off the dance floor.

  “I never had a prom,” she reminded him. “I finished high school with a tutor’s help and graduated by correspondence. I missed Homecoming and Valentine’s and Sadie Hawkin’s. So don’t give me a hard time.”

  The hard time he had in mind for her had nothing to do with the prom. He glanced back over his shoulder, a furtive check to see if they were being watched. And then he propelled Eva out of the school cafeteria.

  The hallway was empty and quieter, though not silent. Eva’s heels clicked against the tiled floor. The bass from the band playing in the cafeteria boomed and rattled the walls. He heard as well the beat of his heart in his ears. And the cadence of his labored breathing.

  Finally they reached the door to the gymnasium. He put a hand flat on the sign that said, “No Admittance—Photographic Equipment in Use,” and pushed. The cavernous room, dimly lit and darkly shadowed, echoed the sound of Eva’s laughter.

 
; “What are we doing in here, besides breaking more than a few rules?”

  “We’re adults. The rules are for the kids.”

  “We’re chaperones.”

  ‘Most of the kids are gone. The chaperone ratio won’t be undermined if you slip out for a quickie.”

  A quickie?” she asked, and her eyes flashed. Even in the dimly lit room, her eyes flashed.

  He placed his hands on her shoulders. His palms skimmed both red silk and flesh. “I’ve wanted to get my hands on this dress since I walked into your bedroom.”

  “You have?”

  He nodded, skated his fingers down the line of her spine and dragged his palms to her sides. He measured both the strength and the muscles of her back, and the decidedly female indentation of her waist. “I’ve wanted to get you out of this dress since I walked into your bedroom.”

  “I don’t think this is the time or place.”

  Her voice quivered, and he knew she was only giving lip service. His hands had reached her stomach now. He opened his fingers wide and pressed upward, cupped the fullness of her breasts. “I’m going to get beneath this dress and I’m not going to wait until we get back to your bedroom.”

  “Here? Now?”

  Her unbound nipples pebbled in the center of his palms, and she pulled in a thready breath when he tugged. “Now? Yes. Here?” He glanced around. “Not exactly.”

  He took her hand and drew her forward, past the doorway to the weight room, the dressing room, and then around the corner and down the narrow aisle that separated the gymnasium bleachers from the wall.

  And there in the darkest corner, he blocked her body with the bulk of his, reached behind her, and tugged up the hem of her dress to expose her bare bottom and her garters.

  “Carson. I don’t think we should be here.”

  He didn’t care what she thought. He grabbed her bottom and squeezed. “Unzip my pants.”

  She did, lowering his zipper and lifting him free from the confines of his shorts. She had him in her hands and his pulse pounded into her fingers. She licked her lips, and it was all he could do not to ask her to drop to her knees.

  “You’re wet already,” he said, and his nostrils flared. “I can smell you.”

  “Then what are you waiting for?” she asked, and he didn’t wait any longer.

  He cupped the backs of her thighs and lifted her upward, positioning himself to drive home. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He held her still, but she squirmed, seeking to draw him in deeper.

  He warned her to be still with a gentle, “Shh.” But she couldn’t be stopped. With her heels digging into his backside, she rode up and down against him. He had a hand on her back to brace her, a hand on the wall to brace himself.

  He felt the hardness of her desire with the desire of his hardness. He couldn’t wait any longer, not with her words urging him to completion. Not with her body pulsing around his. And when he came, he knew with utmost certainty that he held the rest of his life in his hands.

  IT WAS NEAR DAWN AND Carson sat on the floor of Lake City High’s cafeteria amidst blue and silver glitter, confetti, and crepe-paper streamers. He’d spread the jacket of his tux on the floor beneath Eva, who was asleep with her head in his lap. Zack’s jacket served as a makeshift blanket. Carson couldn’t have been more content.

  He’d had a lot of unanswered questions when he’d come here so many days ago. He knew now why she’d left him, and had no one to blame but his own youthful self. He and Eva would be leaving this school an hour from now. Once they stepped out into the morning sun, they’d be stepping into the future together.

  If the past month of living and working with Eva and Zack hadn’t proved that to the three of them... well, he couldn’t think of a more convincing argument that he had changed, that he and Eva belonged together, than the fact that he was sitting here on the floor of a high school cafeteria after a night spent chaperoning a junior class of wild and crazy teens.

  Carson Brandt and teenagers. Wouldn’t Bailey bust a gut laughing over this one? Carson Brandt who, for seventeen years and until he’d broken his ankle, had not taken any job where he had to work with anyone, interact with anyone, be responsible for anyone but himself. He chuckled lightly. Judith Montclair would think he’d gone off the deep end.

  He knew Eva couldn’t be blind to the differences, the changes, in the man he was today. He loved her, knew that she loved him. It was time to go home and finalize this relationship once and for all. He was ready to settle down.

  Zack walked up then, caught Carson in his musings, and lifted a hand in greeting so as not to disturb Eva’s sleep. He hunkered down and wrapped his arms around his bent knees. “How’s it going?”

  Carson had never smoked in his life, but had the strange urge for an after epiphany cigarette. “Doing great. Your mom went down for the count about thirty minutes ago.”

  Zack grinned. “All that dancing got to her, I guess.”

  “Got to quite a few, I’d say.”

  Zack’s gaze followed the direction of Carson’s around the room, where teens sprawled exhausted and spent. “Yep. And everybody’s safe. Nobody’s out being stupid.”

  “We all have our stupid moments. But I have a feeling you haven’t had too many in your life.”

  “Guess I’ve just never been the rebel type. I grew up watching my mom bust her butt to provide for the both of us. And I knew that giving her a hard time wasn’t going to win me any points. She’s always been pretty no nonsense about stuff like that.”

  Carson glanced down at Eva. He wanted to brush back the feathered hair that had shifted in her sleep to settle over the shell of her ear. But he didn’t want to wake her. “Your mom had to grow up pretty fast, too. The modeling she did was more to help out her mother than anything she did for herself.”

  Zack looked down at his mom. “I guess she’s been working all of her life, hasn’t she?”

  Carson nodded. She had. And she deserved a break. He planned to see that she got one.

  “I remember when my dad died.” Zack drew in a deep breath, pushed it out slowly. “I was so scared. I was only five and didn’t really understand about death and all that. But I knew that dying meant a person didn’t come back. My mom had died a couple of years before and I’d never seen her again. ”I knew she’d be happy to have my dad with her. But I was so scared I was going to be left alone. Thing was, I wasn’t. Mom was always there.”

  Zack’s expression grew tender as he watched Eva sleep. “That’s probably even the last time I thought about Mom not being my real mom, ya know? It’s just like she’s always been there. And been the only mom I’ve ever known.”

  Carson had stopped breathing about five sentences back in Zack’s speech. He swallowed hard to find his voice. “What do you mean, your real mom?”

  Zack lifted his head, his gaze moving up to meet Carson’s. “I was about three when my real mom died. It was cancer, but I didn’t know that at the time. I guess Mom married my dad about a year later. It must’ve been my granddad she went to work for when she came back from New York. I didn’t know anything about that either, but it sorta makes sense now.”

  There was nothing that made sense now. Absolutely nothing.

  You’re so incredibly beautiful, he’d said. I wish I’d seen you pregnant. It’s so hard to believe of this body. Well, I have been pregnant, Carson, she’d answered.

  “Yeah.” Carson nodded. “That does make sense. I guess your dad and your mom never had any other kids, huh?”

  “Nope. Just me.” Zack’s grin widened with memories. “I remember bugging them to give me a little brother. I wanted someone at home who I could practice beating up. So I’d already know how to fight when I got to school. Dad would wrestle with me and tease me that the Virgin Mary had been the only one to pull off an immaculate conception. Like I knew what that meant.”

  Carson inserted a smile. Hoped it was convincing.

  Zack went on. “I found out later that
he’d been, uh, snipped, ya know, before he’d even married Mom. I guess that was because of my real mom getting sick and all. So they wouldn’t ever have to worry about her getting pregnant.

  “Anyway,” Zack said, running both hands down his tired face, “I’d better get back to Katie. I told her mom I’d have her home at seven. And I definitely want to be early.”

  “Got it. Good idea,” Carson said, hoping his response made some sort of sense, because his brain was still stuck in the same gear. He watched Zack walk off. Zack, who was not Eva’s son. Eva, who had never been able to become pregnant with Bobby Shelton’s child.

  I have been pregnant, Carson.

  I have been pregnant, Carson.

  I have been pregnant, Carson.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  EVA COULDN’T HAVE SLEPT more than an hour on the cafeteria floor before the lights came on and the after prom party was over. Her mind craved another eight hours of shut-eye, her body demanded ten or twelve. What had she been thinking, dancing like she was sixteen?

  Carson had to be exhausted as well. He’d been unusually quiet on the drive home. No doubt his fatigue accounted for the strained set of his jaw and the bloodshot whites of his eyes, as well as his continued silence.

  She hadn’t been asleep long enough for anything to have gone wrong between them, but she couldn’t shake the worry that Carson’s mood was due to more than exhaustion. He had to be hungry, for one thing. Food and then sleep. And then things would be better.

  Later this afternoon, with her mind rested and her thought processes fresh, she’d tell him about the baby she’d lost. Their baby, with which she’d been pregnant when she left New York.

  She’d tell him how she’d gone home to sort out her thoughts and her feelings. How she’d never expected to see him again and had seen no point in looking him up to tell him about their joint loss. She’d loved him. She’d wished him nothing but success in his life. And so she’d borne the burden alone.

  To this day, she stood by her decision as being the right one. But now that their situation had changed, she owed him honesty, owed honesty to herself most of all. And if this truth was going to come between them, let it come between them now before either of them had invested more emotion, more of themselves in the other.