Ashes of the Firebird (The Firebird Fairytales Book 2)

by Kuivalainen, Amy

  Aleksandra used her weight to push him against the heavy wooden pew to slow his progress. His chest and stomach felt hard and strong against her. He stopped struggling and went dead still under her touch.

  “I…I’m sorry.” Aleksandra pulled back, horrified and embarrassed. She turned her back to him, grabbed her gloves off the chair and cursed aloud as she struggled to put them on. She looked up to see him step up on the pew to get past her, stepping down off the other side of her. He hesitated a moment before he reached over the pew, gripped her shoulders tightly and kissed her. The kiss was like him, dark, passionate and angry. She stumbled backwards as he released her roughly.

  “You got what you wanted,” he said coldly. “Don’t ever come here again.” She watched him walk away, too shocked and upset to try to stop him.

  Chapter Fifteen- The Rhythm of Nature

  It had been a week since Trajan had vanished with Cerise in his wake. She texted once a day to let them know that she was okay and that no, she hadn’t found him. Anya was trying to keep busy with lessons with Aleksandra. Mostly, she paced Silvian’s house and the frosty gardens. More than once, she had spent her time sipping vodka and staring at the gates that led out of the grounds and into the streets of Budapest.

  Anya still liked to delude herself that she could walk away at any time. Now that the farm was destroyed and she had no money to repair it, she really had nowhere to go. Although that thought rarely factored into her scheme of leaving. Nor did she factor in that the Illumination and that the Darkness would apprehend her as soon as she tried to leave. So she stared at the gates sullenly knowing that she was trapped. That was where Aramis found her, staring at the gates, buried deep in Eikki’s dark red coat, the burn of vodka on her lips.

  “Anya…”

  “Yes.”

  “You aren’t considering walking out of that gate, are you?” Aramis was moving slowly and purposefully towards her.

  “Why? Are you going to try to stop me?”

  “I know you’re worried for him, but leaving is not the answer. If Cerise can’t find him I don’t believe you would have much more of a chance.”

  “It’s not only Trajan. It’s this place. I’m stuck in a strange city that I can’t even explore. I am in a city full stop.”

  “You are claustrophobic,” he said as if the thought had only occurred to him.

  “What do you think? I grew up in a village of less than two hundred people, on a farm surrounded by forest. I have been yanked from one city to the next. I’m over this, Aramis. I want to go home. There is nothing left of my home except what I managed to get into a bag,” she laughed high and bitter. Aramis took her hand, his magic wrapping around hers. It helped to calm the jerky sensation under her skin.

  “I have somewhere I could take you. It’s not home but it will help,” he said gently.

  In the time that it took for Aramis to get a coat and some car keys, he and Anya were driving out of the city. Anya was silent until she couldn’t handle it any longer.

  “Will you hurry up and lecture me? I don’t like being in suspense,” she said.

  “Lecture you about what?” Aramis changed up a gear smoothly making Anya wish she had learnt to drive a car.

  “Lecture me about having sex with Trajan and nearly dying as you predicted.”

  “I’m not your father, Anyanka,” he replied, though his lips were set in a grim line. “I’m happy that he didn’t kill you.”

  “I think that the world would be better off.” Aramis’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.

  “Where are we going?” she asked finally.

  “The Danube-Ipoly,” he replied which didn’t narrow it down for her.

  The pulled up on a side road on the Kóspallagi Way, and Aramis got out of the car without a word. The Danube-Ipoly turned out to be a national park and Anya followed Aramis as he made his way through the snow and into the trees.

  “What are we doing out here?” Anya called to Aramis’s back. He stood out in the snow like a navy blue inkblot on white paper.

  “You said you needed to get out of the city and I thought this would be a good place to start.” Anya was embarrassed. The thought of him trying to cheer her up hadn’t occurred to her. “Do you remember when we first went back to Russia I taught you how to listen to the earth?” he asked.

  “It was screaming,” Anya cringed at the memory. The wind was moving through the trees around her, shaking the snow off the branches and blowing it over them. It did feel good to be out of the city. A quietness in the forest started to move over her and settle in her mind.

  “Listen to the forest,” Aramis whispered, his palms facing down towards the frozen earth. “Find its rhythm. Feel its energy.”

  Anya followed his lead and closed her eyes. She could smell the ice and the trees, the wet smell of pine and vegetation. She let the quietness fill her mind and roll up through her feet, calming parts of her slowly. The forest was sleeping, the heavy stillness of winter blanketing its world. There was a trip in Anya’s mind and her magic flowed out of her and into the dormant power of the forest. She could feel Aramis tapping into it, a speck of light in a long web of glowing energy. Anya concentrated and made herself one more connection for the life of the forest to travel through.

  She could feel the trees growing slowly around her, feel the animals hibernating, the birds in their nests huddled in trunks. Some distance away, there was a pregnant bear sleeping. Anya felt the fish swimming in the little rivers deep under the ice. She felt the promise of spring deep under her feet.

  Anya didn’t know how long she stood there but she finally found her mind going back into her body and consciousness returning to her. Her eyelids felt heavy as she opened them. Aramis was smiling and glowing softly, his eyes and hair bright. He had dropped some of his human glamour the way he had on the train.

  “Aramis…” Anya whispered.

  “My kind are very connected to the earth, to all living things. What you did now, connecting with the land, is what we do naturally. It replenishes us, joins us, and tells us who we are. You will rarely find the Álfr in a city.”

  “You suffer being there as well, don’t you?” Anya asked softly and took his hand, combining her power with his. “How do you stand it?”

  “I tolerate it because I must, Anya. Being here today has helped though. How do you feel?”

  “Calmer…”Anya bit her lip in hesitation.

  “But?”

  “I still don’t know why he left, Aramis. Why does anyone I get close to leave? What did I do wrong?” Aramis took her in his arms and held her tightly to him. He rarely touched her without permission so Anya gripped him, their magic mingling in a seamless wave. She was crying softly, too many sleepless nights and too much worry was finally getting the better of her.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong, little one. Trajan panicked and left of his own will. Cerise will find him and bring him back. I know you care for him as he does you. There will be a reason for his absence. He will return. Izrayl tells me Trajan has done this many times before. He always comes back. It was the first time he had sex, which is no small thing.” Anya looked up sharply to see if he was teasing her. There was no smile but his eyes were mischievous.

  “Do you think sex with me would be frightening enough to scare away a Thanatos?”

  “Well, something scared him.” Anya shoved him hard, as he grabbed her coat to steady himself she slipped and they tumbled backwards into a snow bank. Anya grabbed a handful of snow, shoved it down his shirt and scrambled to duck behind a tree as a snowball hit the side of it.

  Anya balled together some ice as the earth beneath started to tremble. Aramis stood with his back to her, his hands raised and shaking. He was using his magic, more than she had seen him use before, causing her body to shake. Snow rolled towards him in a large wave before it collided together. His hands were moving as quickly as a sculptor, feathering and shaping. The snowball in Anya’s hand fell onto her shoe in a sloppy mess
. The snow had stopped moving and Aramis turned and laughed loud and breathless at her astonished face. Before her stood a castle made of ice and snow.

  “I don’t believe it,” she whispered as she stumbled towards him. It was a miniature of a castle, still big enough to run behind the walls and climb up onto the battlements. Aramis followed her smiling like an overindulgent parent. Anya stood looking from the walls and out over the treetops.

  “This is amazing!” she beamed as she yanked at his hands.

  “This is magic and a child’s trick at that. Magic isn’t all work, it can also be incredibly fun and occasionally rewarding,” he said, his smile still fixed, open and carefree.

  “How is it rewarding?”

  “It has cheered you up, hasn’t it? I would say that it’s rewarding.” They spent the next hour playing and joking through the ice palace before making the trek back to the car soaked to the skin.

  ***

  The ground was hard and frozen as Cerise pulled out her bone-handled knife and scratched glyphs into the dirt. When they had first met, Cerise had promised Trajan that she wouldn’t use the old ways to summon him. She hadn’t even dared to do it when he was kidnapped in Paris. Cerise was tired of searching for him by the regular methods. She was angry and when a keres got angry all bets were off. Trajan had promised her that he would never run away again. She figured that she was entitled to break her promise too.

  She was afraid for him in a way she never had been before. It was a select art to kill a Thanatos but still possible. If Trajan thought he had killed Anya, then he would be inclined to do damage to himself and that made her panic.

  Cerise pricked her finger and let the few drops of blood land in the centre of the glyphs. Taking a deep breath she spoke in a language not known to anything earth bound. In the middle of the incantation, she spoke Trajan’s true name.

  There was a stirring around her and then silence, as if the world had taken a large breath and waited. A sound began to build around her, like rocks cracking and rumbling before breaking apart. With a final crash that made Cerise fall back with aftershock, Trajan appeared in the centre of the glyphs. He was naked and suspended somewhere between his true and human form. He was also frozen. A red eye opened slowly as ice and frost began to melt and break from him.

  “I see you have been trying to freeze yourself to death again,” Cerise muttered as she took out a blanket from the boot of her car and wrapped it around him. “Where was it this time? Antarctica?”

  “Iceland,” he wheezed as his lips unstuck. “Why did you summon me?”

  “Because Anya is alive, you moron, and we fucking need you.”

  “Anya doesn’t need me around. I’m poison to her.”

  “You aren’t poison.”

  “You can’t keep me here. As soon as I’m ready, I will be going again.”

  “You aren’t going anywhere, you insensitive prick!” Cerise shouted. “I am holding you to the oath you made to Ilya to protect his family! The only place you’re going is back to Budapest to fulfil your duty.”

  “I cannot risk her life again,” Trajan said as his hands and arms broke free of their icy hold.

  “Then don’t risk her life. Protect her life. If that means breaking her heart and not being in a relationship with her, then so be it. You want to be a human so badly? Now is your chance to man the fuck up.”

  “You are starting to sound like Hamish.”

  “I don’t care. Get in the fucking car, Trajan.”

  Chapter Sixteen- Dust

  Anya’s hair was damp and her eyes were bright when they arrived back at Silvian’s that night. Hamish met them at the door looking uncharacteristically grim.

  “We’ve been waiting for you,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

  “Trajan is back,” Aramis said without taking his eyes of Hamish.

  “He’s back? He’s here?” Anya raced through the house to the room that Trajan had slept in last. The sight of him standing next to the tall glass windows, dressed meticulously in pressed trousers and red shirt, his waistcoat buttoned up, filled Anya with joy and longing. She started toward him, stopping mid step as he backed away from her.

  “Trajan? What’s wrong?” she frowned at him. She hadn’t been cautious in touching him in months, but now she hesitated, panic replacing her joy almost instantly.

  “Anyanka,” Trajan cleared his throat nervously, “I’m sorry I can’t do this.”

  Anya looked at him blank and afraid. Trajan felt a tight squeezing in his chest as she slowly sank to the couch.

  “Anya, I almost killed you. I thought I had. No amount of pleasure is worth that. I held you limp and lifeless. I fed off you without any control.”

  “Trajan, don’t do this. I’m fine. I knew what I was in for when we first kissed. I don’t care what you are. I love you and…”

  “And I love you but I won’t risk your life, Anyanka. I made a promise to Ilya when he set me free to care and protect his family. How is this fulfilling my oath? I’m not human. I know of pleasure and I won’t take your life to feel it.”

  “So what now? You go back to like we have never touched? That all we have shared was a lie?” Her voiced was raised and there were tears building in her eyes.

  “Anya, please try to understand…” Trajan began. He thought if he explained then she would listen to him. Tears thick and hot ran down her skin. He went to brush them away with a thumb and she knocked his hand back.

  “I knew this would happen! I dared to hope that you would be different. That you would stand by me no matter the odds. Was everything some kind of experiment to you? To try to understand humans and their emotions?” She was gasping for breath. Trajan wanted to kiss her, to soothe the hurts away but he held himself in check. “You know all this time everyone has warned me about you,” Anya continued, her voice becoming angry despite her tears, “They have told me that you aren’t human. That you don’t understand human emotion, I have fought that every inch of the way and now you do this. I love you, Trajan, and that means nothing to you.”

  “You forget that I nearly killed you, Anyanka! You wish me to have that guilt on my head? I would rather die than hurt you.”

  “Then you have failed!” Anya shouted, “because you, Trajan, you…” She leaned forward and kissed him angrily, “…you have just broken me.” Confronted with her tears and anger, Trajan slowly stood to his feet and began to fade.

  ***

  There was dust underneath the bottom shelves of Silvian’s walk in pantry. Anya knew about the dust because she had been lying on the floor looking at it for hours. She swigged from a freshly opened bottle of Finlandia. The last empty bottle was now an improvised footrest.

  There had been few times in her life when Anya had been irrationally and emotionally angry like she had been hours before. Trajan had told her in the midst of her tears that he would fulfil his duty to Ilya but would no longer be laying a finger or any other part of his anatomy on her. Then Anya had started to yell, the months of anger, fear and frustration that she had been holding in since the night that Vasilli destroyed her farm burst out of her.

  Anya had torn the room apart until she stormed out in search of vodka. She didn’t see anyone in the halls of the house. There were too many creatures with preternatural hearing for them not to know what had happened. Hamish had known it was bad news and would have warned her if she had the sense to stop and listen.

  The door to the pantry cupboard opened, flooding the dark space with unexpected light. “What is it about beautiful women and this particular part of my kitchen?” Silvian asked. Anya looked up at him and she saw him take in her condition. He sat down on the floor beside her but didn’t attempt to touch her.

  “You have drunk a whole bottle of vodka. That’s impressive for a girl.”

  “I used to brew my own and it was twice as strong as this regular stuff. You should have seen me when Yvan found me.”

  Anya thought of that time so long ago wh
en her biggest problem was drinking herself to sleep every night. She started to choke up and before she knew it, huge tears started to roll down her face. “What am I going to do now?”

  “Endure like we all have to. There is something very intrepid about you; this is one more thing to take into your stride.” The scent of warm desert, sandalwood and masculine heat was flooding the room. “You need to go and sleep it off.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re drunk and hurt. Sleep is the best thing for you.” He stood up and offered her his hand. She took it, managed to drag herself off the floor and grab the bottle with her other hand.

  “I had a feeling this is where she disappeared to,” Yvan said from the kitchen door.

  “You can imagine my surprise when I went for a night cap and found a drunk Tonttu in my cupboard. I was sure I didn’t order her,” Silvian said as he steadied her.

  Yvan had a stern look on his face that he saved for when she got drunk. It was not quite disappointment though something akin to it. He saved the disapproving look for when he saw she was in the cupboard with Silvian.

  “You should take over from here, Prince Yvan,” Silvian suggested. “Drunken emotional women aren’t my forte.”

  “How surprising, a type of woman you’re not interested in,” Yvan said scathingly. Silvian gave him her hand and she stumbled forward.

  “How clever your banter is tonight. Take care of her.” Silvian grinned before wandering out. Yvan gave her a long steady look until finally something softened in his hard blue eyes.

  “Come on, shalosť,” he sighed. Her legs gave out again, and before she hit the floor, he had caught her up in his arms.

  “I can’t make it too easy for you,” she slurred.

  “You wouldn’t be you if you did.” When they got to her room, he helped her to her feet and she ran up and started jumping on the couch.

  “Come jump with me!”

  “Careful! You will fall off and hit your…head,” Yvan said as she lost her footing and landed on the ground. She started laughing manically. Yvan walked over and sat on the carpet next to her.