Ashes of the Firebird (The Firebird Fairytales Book 2)
Page 18
“Why are you so against the idea of saving Yanka?”
“I think it is suicide for a start. Do you realise how vengeful she is going to be when she gets free? You think that building will be left standing with no dead bodies? It will end up being declared an all out war between you and the whole of the Illumination. Don’t think the Darkness will sit back either.”
“Stop acting like you’re concerned for our safety. The Illumination are already baying for our blood so saving Yanka isn’t about to change their opinions of us,” Aramis said honestly.
Vasilli being in the city was worrying him. It could be a coincidence. Aramis doubted it. They needed to get out of Budapest as soon as possible. Silvian made a valid point about how furious Yanka would be her captors. Aramis was more concerned about how furious and vengeful she was going to be at him.
***
“Mychal saved you from demons. Wow,” Katya said as she wiped her eyes with a tissue. Aleksandra had censured the violence and horror of the attack on the tribe and Katya didn’t push for details. They agreed not to go to the site, leaving it to the winter. Aleksandra was wanted by demons and Katya was in danger by default.
“I feel like I got a vice squeezing my chest,” admitted Katya.
“I know, be grateful you didn’t have to see it.”
“Demons,” Katya muttered, “Who would’ve thought we would have had to deal with a full force demon attack.”
“There’s nothing you could have done. You’re an amazing hunter and even you wouldn’t have been able to stand against it. If it wasn’t for Mychal I would be gone too.”
“What’s going on between you two anyway?”
Aleksandra saw her sister looking for a distraction and she felt bad for not being able to give her one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. We are both demon marked. Mychal feels he owes me a life debt. We are slowly accepting that whatever mess we have gotten ourselves into we are stuck in it together.”
“Here I was thinking that you were trying to convince him to come and be sociable.”
“He’s shy, like I am. I wouldn’t dream of pressing anything on him.” Katya gave her a cheeky look and Aleksandra rolled her eyes. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, come on, you have thought about it. Any female would.”
“You shouldn’t because you’re with Izrayl,” Aleksandra snapped. Katya looked taken aback, and then started smiling again.
“You so like him, sis. You’re even getting jealous already.”
“Like I said, you don’t know what you’re talking about. We have bigger things to focus on.” Katya sobered once more.
“That’s true. Baba Zosia deserved to die better.”
“She went out fighting and she wasn’t afraid. If only we could all go with such dignity.”
“Pretty, neat deaths aren’t for people like us.”
“Wow, aren’t you two cheery today,” Izrayl said as he walked in and kissed Katya’s cheek. He pulled back and Katya stared deeply at him. Tears started to pour down Katya’s face again and without needing to know details Izrayl pulled her close to his chest. Aleksandra suddenly wished that she had someone to comfort her like that. Mychal had for brief, stolen moments but they didn’t have that deep connection that Izrayl and Katya had.
“Tell me, Aleki,” Izrayl said. She gave him an abbreviated version and he pulled her into his embrace as well. Aleksandra held Katya and Izrayl as they wept for what they had lost and all that lay before them.
***
“Cigarette?” Cerise appeared out of nowhere. Anya was hiding on a large balcony that looked out at the snow covered city. She had been sitting out there for a while, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. It was an attempt to clear her head. The voices wouldn’t calm or leave her in peace.
“No,” Anya said.
“What are you doing out here in the cold?”
“Thinking about trying to fly,” Anya replied and looked down at the ground. She had decided that she would need a much taller building if she were going to leap off one.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Cerise’s voice rose accusingly. Anya shrugged and took a long drink from the flask in her hand. She had stopped carrying a bottle because it was too obvious and Yvan had been taking them from her.
“I think we both know I’m more trouble alive than dead.”
“If this is about Trajan…”
“It’s not about Trajan, it’s everything. I can’t seem to catch a fucking break and I’m so tired of the running. To start with, it was about getting Yvan away from Vasilli and closing the gates. Somehow it has become this twisted mess of fear and lies.”
“You can’t talk like that. What has happened you cannot change. They would have come after you eventually, Anya. They know whose bloodline you belong to.”
“Oh, I had almost forgotten my hundreds of years old, matriarchal grandmother that is still alive somehow.”
“Yanka was one of the Powers. She is immortal.” Cerise lit another cigarette.
“Of course she is.”
“Look, I know it seems like things are terrible at the moment honey, but they could be worse. We are all still alive for starters.”
“Give it time.”
“Trajan loves you. That’s why he is still here,” Cerise said quietly. Anya flinched. She really didn’t want to talk about Trajan. She had been steering clear of him and he had been doing the same.
“It may be better if he left. I don’t see a point of him staying around even if it is to protect me.”
“He has a promise to fulfil to Ilya. That was the only reason he came back. Trajan was trying to freeze himself. Did you know that?”
“I must have been terrible in bed.”
“You are hurt so I’m going to let that slide. He thought he had killed you and now he won’t risk it again. He will keep watching over you like he promised. Trajan is the closest thing I have to family. I won’t let him try to end himself, not over this, not over you.” Anya hugged her chest and didn’t argue with her. Trajan protecting her for an eternity and her not being able to touch him was another kind of torture. A flash of gold caught her eye and on the highest chimney sat the firebird. It was still magnificent even without its fire in the milky grey light.
“He is getting some air,” Cerise followed her gaze. “Yvan won’t let it fly around too much. They come out here every day.”
“It’s beautiful,” Anya said softly. As if the bird heard her, it stretched out its wings and glided down to land on the balcony in front of her. Its long tail curled and brushed the ground. “How could I jump with such beauty still left in the world?”
“Beautiful like a wild fire is beautiful. I would be more concerned about what’s inside the bird if you tried killing yourself.”
“Yvan would be better off. He could go back to Skazki and live his life…” Anya faltered. The firebird was twitching and shivering. She knew what was coming. The bird tumbled onto the icy pavers and started to stretch and morph.
“You’re going to be in trouble,” Cerise said. Wings were starting to become arms, the body filling out and elongating. With a final cry the bird disappeared, leaving Yvan crouched down and wreathed in flame. Anya took the blanket from her shoulders and offered it to him as he stood up tall. She saw Cerise looking at his naked brown skin with an appreciative smirk. A jolt hit her low in the stomach and she glared at her. Cerise pretended not to see. Yvan took the blanket and wrapped it slowly around his waist, staring angrily at her.
“I think I hear Isabelle calling me,” Cerise said and stubbed out her cigarette. “Try to get some sleep Anya.” She moved past them, closing the balcony door behind her.
“Are we back to this?” Yvan asked. “Back to you having a death wish like when I hatched? Is your life worth so little to you that you think of throwing it away so easily? Do you have no thought for the ones that love you that will be left behind?”
“Do
n’t start on me…”
“Are you so weak that you’re going to fall apart over a man? Where is your courage, where is your pride?”
“Yvan please.” Tears were spilling out of her even though she had sworn that very morning that there would be no more tears. The intensity of Yvan’s passionate outburst had once again undone the fragile stitches of her heart. Yvan let out a sigh of frustration before putting his arms around her.
“You must overcome this, Anya. There is more at stake than our lives and our happiness. You’re destined for things impossible to imagine. Use the pain and turn it into something magnificent. Do not let the anger taint your heart and poison your goodness. Do not let your heart harden. You have a great capacity for love, Anya. You wouldn’t be hurting if you didn’t.”
“What am I going to do?”
“You live, like we all must. I do not wish to hear you speak of ending your life again. Do you understand?”
“I wasn’t going to do it, Yvan, I swear I wasn’t,” she sobbed into his chest.
“Then stop scaring me all the time.” His grip around her tightened. “You need to rest, Anya. You wouldn’t be this upset if you were sleeping. Rest now while you can. I don’t believe leaving Europe is going to make you safer.”
“I promise I will try.”
“Please do because I don’t want to be watching you all the time to make sure you do not harm yourself. Don’t ask me to bear the weight of your death, Anya.”
***
Faded and invisible, Trajan watched Anya cry as Yvan tenderly held her. He wanted to step out of the shadows and take her from him. Trajan would have let her strike him over and over if it was going to ease her pain. She wouldn’t talk to him, wouldn’t give him a chance to properly explain why he couldn’t be physical with her. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t stand to be near him. So he faded and he watched her, yearning once more for her company and having it denied. This, he decided, was what pain was.
***
Anya was walking in a forest. It wasn’t Yanka’s forest but she knew she had been there before.
“Hey.” Honaw was leaning against a tree. He wore a pair of black buckskin pants, his brown chest and shoulders bare except for a long beaded necklace. His hair hung in long black waves, framing his strong face.
“Bear!” Anya ran to him and into his arms.
“You looked surprised to find that I am the man of your dreams,” he laughed, then he realised she was sobbing. “Hey, don’t cry. What is it?”
“I just…I really miss you.”
“Bull shit. What has that Thanatos done?” He tilted her head back so he could fix her with his dark stare. “Okay, big deep breath,” he soothed when she couldn’t seem to speak. He rubbed her back in long slow strokes. “Tell me.” Anya opened her mouth and out it came. At some point, Honaw positioned her on a nearby log and built up a fire. When she finally finished she felt empty.
“That’s messed up, Anya. I know it won’t give you any kind of comfort now. I have lived a very, very long time.” Honaw took her hand and his husky voice deepened and sounded old. “I have seen the very lay of the earth change, seas and rivers that have come and gone. I have loved, lost, and loved again. The pain that you’re feeling, it will pass. Such things of mystery always demand a sacrifice and a union like that will always end in tragedy. You are mortal. He will live forever. Eventually, the tragedy of death would have separated you. I have felt that pain of watching the women I have loved die in my arms. In a way, you have spared him the agonising pain of having to witness that.”
“What about my agonising pain of having to see him every day without being able to touch him or talk to him,” Anya whispered. “It’s torture. He eased my pain.”
“You should never look to someone else to ease your pain or grant you happiness. People will always disappoint you. No one can hurt you as deeply as the ones you love. I know you well enough to believe that you would sacrifice yourself for the ones you love. That is an honourable thing. A lot of people would say that they would but not everyone would go through with it.” They sat quietly for a while watching the flames and Anya finally felt a peace settle through her.
“I wish you didn’t leave,” she said finally. “I feel better when we are all together.”
“Only so you can keep your eye on us all. You can’t protect everyone. We had to come back. Our magic is strongest in our own land. It’s like we are not whole when we are away from it. Don’t worry, we will see you soon. I will meet you at the airport if you want.”
“I would like that.” Honaw took off his necklace and slipped it over her head before kissing her forehead, sending her spirit back to body and to dream other dreams.
***
Aleksandra was brushing her teeth when she looked up into the mirror and saw Mychal standing in the doorway. She gave an involuntary squeak, which turned into a cough as she choked back toothpaste. There was low chuckle behind her.
“God, you’re jumpy tonight,” he said when she managed to catch his eye.
“What do you expect when you sneak up on me like that,” she said, hastily wiping the spit off her chin. Aleksandra realised that she didn’t have her gloves on and grabbed a hand towel to cover them.
“Why do you do that?” he asked curiously.
“Because I don’t like other people seeing them.”
“I think you’re over reacting. It’s not like they are deformed stumps.” Despite his words, or maybe because of them, she turned her back on him and slipped on the plain black cotton gloves that she usually slept in.
“It’s not like you walk around with your shirt off.”
“It’s a little different.”
“No, it’s not,” Aleksandra said as she tried to button the top of the glove. He made her so nervous that her hands were shaking. “You wouldn’t take your shirt off and show me your scars if I asked, would you?” She didn’t see or hear him move but he was beside her, his fingers brushing against the glove she was struggling with and did up the button.
“How do you know I wouldn’t?” he asked teasingly. She refused to be baited. She already felt like an idiot around him majority of the time.
“Because you’re a priest and you’re not allowed to,” Aleksandra answered as she pulled her arm back. “Besides, you forget I’ve already seen the view.” She pushed passed him and sat down on one of couches tucking her legs underneath her. He followed and sat in the chair opposite. “So you only visit people at night?”
“I don’t sleep at night,” Mychal said, the blunt tone back in his voice. All the teasing was gone. He reached into his pocket and brought out a tiny clay vial.
“What is that?”
“It’s monza ampullae. It’s very old, very sacred holy oil from Palestine that was made in the fifth century. It repels demons. I’m going to put some on your doors and windows so even if they find you, they won’t be able to get in.” Aleksandra felt a wave of relief wash through her. She thought she was going to have to stay awake all night.
“How did Katya take the news?”
“Badly, as expected. I thought she would be storming her way into Skazki to find a way to track the demons and kill them all. Six months ago, she would have. Izrayl has matured her in that way. He is a great comfort to her.”
“She wouldn’t have found anything to track even if she did go back. Demons don’t leave a trail, especially ones such as this.”
“What do you mean?”
Mychal leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. It was a simple movement making Aleksandra edgier the closer he got to her. Katya was right about his aura. Mychal had something about him that made you never forget how dangerous he was. It oozed out of every pore of his being and sent your senses humming.
“From what you have told me the demons attacked the tribe in a large concentrated group. Not only that, they used their true form, something that very rarely happens. It’s almost like a hit squad that was sent to wipe every trace of you
and your tribe off the face of the Earth. Don’t think for a moment that you would have been able to give yourself up and save them because you couldn’t have. They don’t work that way.”
“I know there is no real answer to this question but doesn’t it seem extreme? I’m nobody. My talent is a fickle thing and I think the only reason why I tuned into you was your connection to the tribes. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was that blood is still in your veins, it’s who you are.”
“The blood in my veins might be gypsy but it is not who I am.” Something flashed through Mychal’s black eyes and for a moment, it was like something else was looking out. His normal aura slipped like a radio getting static and then he was Mychal once more. He rubbed his eyes and then re-focused on her.
“I don’t know why they went after you like that. The only thing I can think of is that they know you saved me and want to punish you for it. You’re right. Why send a horde of demons when one could do as much damage.”
“Maybe they are afraid that you have recruited a partner. Someone who can see them before they can see you. A demon hunter’s spy.”
Aleksandra picked up a cushion that was on the couch and clutched it to her. Mychal frightened her almost as much as the demons did. There was something lurking underneath the surface and Aleksandra wasn’t sure if it meant her harm or not. She had seen him slaughter demons like swatting flies. That wasn’t normal even for supernaturals.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any answers for you. All I know is if they are near they will be forced to pass over the house and won’t be able to get into it.”
“If they did, they wouldn’t only kill me they would kill all of us.”
“Vasilli and his ilk are small pickings compared to this. Getting you out of the country might help for a while. They would expect you to travel through gates. If you left by conventional methods and didn’t use your magic at all then maybe they won’t perceive you as a threat and forget about you.”