She grabbed a quick shower and threw on a white flannel shirt, ankle boots and a pair of jeans.
As she left her cottage and headed toward the Park, she had no idea her life was about to change so dramatically.
When Kristan was a no-show, Liz tried not to take it too personally. After their impromptu pizza on the beach the other night she had wanted to invite her over and cook for her. Yet every single time she had bumped into her at the Park Kristan had been in a rush, usually not alone, looking incredibly busy. And even though she always looked happy to see her, Liz had been unsure what to do.
She was used to dinner parties and she was not shy about making friends, so surely she should have been able to just walk up to Kristan and ask. Yet she felt a little too attracted to the woman to consider an invite to dinner as just that.
Who was she kidding? It would have been a date, a serious one at that, and she was feeling nervous.
So eventually she settled on sticking a note to her door and cooking a vegan chili for two in the hopes that Kristan would join her.
All in vain it seemed.
Liz told herself that she had probably been delayed, probably had not even been home yet. She tried to stick with that thought for a little while, but eventually she could not resist taking the short walk over to Kristan’s place, and when she got there she realised that her note was gone.
So Kristan had found it after all.
Disappointed, Liz turned around.
She was just walking past the cafe on her way back to her pitch, wondering about Kristan, when her new friend came flying around the corner.
Liz’s heart jumped in her chest at the sight of her.
"Hey Kris," she called out, smiling, “wait up!”
Kristan glanced sharply in her direction, slowing down as soon as she recognised Liz.
She headed fast toward her, and as she watched her approach Liz's smile literally died on her lips.
"Oh my God," she exclaimed. "Are you all right?"
Kristan came to a sudden stop in front of her, looking dazed.
Liz grabbed her and steadied her.
"What happened?" she asked fervently. "Are you hurt?"
Her eyes jumped over several bright patches of blood on Kristan's face and on her chest. She had blood all over her, on her jeans, on her hands, and on the side of her neck. She was breathing hard and Liz could not really tell whether it was anger flashing in her eyes or pain. It might have been fear.
Whatever it was, Liz knew for sure it was nothing good.
"Kristan," she called again. "Hey!"
She reached for her and rested a hand on her cheek, gently turning her head toward her.
“Look at me, Kris,” she said firmly.
Kristan finally rested her eyes on her.
She seemed to come back to her senses all of a sudden.
"It's okay," she mumbled. "I'm okay, Liz."
She became aware that Liz was touching her. Her hands were all over her, urgent, searching. Kristan eventually noticed the way the doctor was looking at her, and she glanced at her shirt and understood why.
"It's not me. Not my blood," she said, and her voice broke.
She started to cry.
Liz pulled her hard against her.
"What happened?" she asked again, more firmly this time, more calmly.
"I got your note."
"Okay. Then what?"
"I was on my way to you when I remembered I’d left my wallet in the office..."
Kristan took a deep breath, finding it hard to talk all of a sudden.
Liz felt her heart tighten in response.
"Okay. Come on over here," she said, and she led Kristan to a picnic table and bench and sat down by her side. “You’re in shock. Just take a few deep breaths, try to relax.”
She rested a hand on her back, kept the other one wrapped tightly around her wrist.
"Better?” she asked after a while, and Kristan nodded. “Okay then, Kris. Tell me what's going on."
"It's Mike," Kristan said through clenched teeth.
Liz tightened her hold on her as a sliver of apprehension snaked its way down her back.
"Mike? Is he hurt? Where?" she asked.
Kristan took a sharp intake of breath. She stared into space, her eyes intense, apparently lost in thoughts.
Liz had to shake her again.
"Talk to me, Kris. Where is Mike now?"
"I found him in the middle of the office lying down. He was bleeding. The back of his head was… He was cut... He was cut really bad."
Kristan glanced at her shirt and jeans again, and she shook her head a little.
"There was a lot of blood... Such a lot of blood... I called for an
ambulance."
She seemed to get lost in the memory again.
Liz ran her fingers through her hair softly and pulled her closer.
"So Mike is on his way to the hospital right now, is that right Kris?" she asked.
She needed to make sure, so she had to keep her talking.
Kristan blinked a couple of times.
"Yeah," she mumbled. "Yeah. He’s on his way to the hospital."
She turned suddenly and the look of despair in her eyes was overwhelming.
"There was so much blood, Liz," she murmured. "What if he’s really hurt…"
"Hey, listen," Liz interrupted. "Head wounds always bleed a lot. Okay?"
But Kristan continued as if she had not heard her.
"He was so still in there, I thought he was dead. What if they can’t bring him back, Liz?"
Liz leaned forward and she kissed her; because she simply had to. She needed that connection and she knew that Kristan did too. It was the only way that she knew to express exactly how much she cared. The kiss was almost unconscious. It was a reflex action, pure heart, no thinking involved.
She felt Kristan's reaction. It was shock at first, surprise, hesitation, and then Kristan leaned into the kiss and poured her entire soul into it.
"I'm here for you," Liz whispered against her lips. "Mike is going to be okay, and so are you."
Kristan was trembling.
Liz wrapped her arms around her and she held her tightly.
"It's okay, honey," she whispered. "It's okay."
Several hours later she pushed open the door to Mike's private hospital room and peered inside. It was dimly lit, quiet apart from the soft hum of the machines surrounding him.
Kristan was sitting on a chair close to her partner's bed, holding on to his hand. Her eyes were fixed on him and her gaze was intense, as if he were on the verge of opening his eyes.
Liz slipped inside and closed the door quietly behind her.
"Hey Kris," she said softly. "Can I come in?"
Kristan glanced toward her, looking a little as if she were coming out of a trance.
"Sure," she murmured. “I was wondering where you’d gone.”
She let go of Mike's hand and stood up. She smiled weakly.
Despite everything that had just happened, the sight of Liz standing there affected her in a powerful way. She could not really remember the drive over to the hospital. Or the sequence of events after she had found Mike unconscious in a pool of his own blood. Things were a little foggy. But Liz was real. She was an anchor.
When it had become obvious earlier that Kristan was in no state to drive, Liz had quietly taken her car keys and held the passenger door open for her. She had driven hard and fast, the way Kristan would have done. At the same time she had explained, patiently and in great detail, what the ambulance crew would be doing now, what the doctors in the ER would be doing to prepare for Mike's arrival, and exactly how skilled and dedicated these people were.
She had kept a careful eye on Kristan as she drove, making sure that she was breathing okay, making sure that she remained present, hating the sight of so much blood on her and wishing she could make that haunted look in her eyes disappear.
Now when she opened her arms Kristan stepped into her em
brace without a single word. For several long minutes Liz was silent as well. She held Kristan until she felt her relax against her, until she felt her start to breathe deeper and slower.
Then and only then did she speak.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"Yeah. I’m fine."
Liz nodded.
She pulled back a little until she could look Kristan in the eye. Her gaze was searching, questioning.
"I'm okay," Kristan repeated.
She shivered a little and Liz squeezed her hand.
“I found this in your car,” she said, “do you want to put it on?”
Silently, Kristan pulled the heavy black hoodie over her head, and it made her want to cry again when she realised it was one of Mike’s.
"Why don’t you sit down, Kris, and I can fill you in."
“Have you spoken to the doctors?”
Liz nodded and she squatted down in front of Kristan, looking up into her face, one hand resting safely on her knee.
Kristan’s eyes were red from crying and a little hazy, and every other second she would glance toward Mike. She was pale, and dark circles stood out under her eyes like she had been punched. Liz steeled herself for what she was going to have to explain to her.
"Mike has suffered an extremely serious injury," she said quietly, her eyes on her. "The blood flow to his brain was interrupted, and as a result..."
"That’s why he's not breathing for himself right now?" Kristan interrupted.
"Yes," Liz answered, and this was not what she had been about to say.
Once again Kristan glanced over toward her partner. She purposely avoided making eye contact with Liz as she refused to acknowledge the truth that was staring her in the face. Slowing things down, delaying the inevitable.
"There's nothing wrong with his heart," she stated. "So he's going to be okay. Right?"
Liz knew what she was doing and she could not allow it.
"The heart can function independently of the brain for a while," she said patiently, "so long as it has oxygen."
"Yes."
"Kris, the ventilator is what is keeping it working right now."
Kristan gave a sharp nod.
"Yeah, I know. So if his heart is okay, then as soon as he wakes up, we can..."
"Kristan," Liz interrupted. She knew she had to put an end to this and do it quickly. "He is not going to wake up, darling, I’m sorry."
"Of course he is," Kristan argued.
She stood up suddenly and walked over to the bed.
"He's just in a coma right now. People recover from that all the time!"
Liz went to stand close to her and simply took her hand in hers.
"Sometimes when someone has a catastrophic brain injury," she said slowly, "it is irreversible. Mike's brain has stopped working, Kris. There was a blood clot. He's not in a coma. The machine isn't keeping him alive; it is only a way to keep oxygen going to his organs until they can be recovered.”
Liz felt Kristan start to shake as she finally demolished the last of her illusions. She hated doing it to her. She was a surgeon, and it was not the first time she had told someone that their loved one had died. But it was the first time that she had had to explain it to someone she cared so much about.
Up until that very second she had not even understood how much she cared about Kristan. Now she knew. She would have done anything right now to be able to take her pain away. But she could not bring Mike back.
“I’m sorry, darling,” she murmured. “I am so, so sorry.”
Kristan stood there looking down at her partner's body, tears rolling down her face.
Liz took a couple of steps back. It was so hard.
"I'll give you some time, Kris. Okay? Take as long as you need. I’ll be right outside when you’re ready."
Kristan came to find her in the waiting room thirty minutes later. Liz was standing up at the back, staring out the window with a tired look on her face. But as soon as Kristan walked in she looked in her direction, and the smile she gave her would have been enough to power the entire city.
“Kris,” she said softly. “Come here.”
Kristan walked up to her and Liz immediately pulled her against her in a tight hug.
“Hey there,” she murmured.
“Hello, doc,” Kristan said tiredly. “Thank you for staying.”
She knew that the doctors wanted to speak to her about Mike; the police wanted to speak to her; she had to get back to the Holiday Park and cancel today's helicopter flights and possibly all of them for the week ahead. She had to speak to her staff. She had to get back to the office where she had found her partner unconscious, and take care of things there as soon as the police said she could. This would be a manslaughter investigation now.
Kristan's head was spinning, and it was a huge relief to find that Liz had waited for her.
“As if I would simply go without telling you,” the woman replied, looking deep into her eyes. “How are you doing?”
Kristan shrugged a little and stared at a spot on the wall behind Liz’s head, trying her best not to cry again.
“Mike just looks asleep,” she reflected. “He’s warm. He looks like any second he might wake up and smile…”
“I know. I wish that were true.”
Kristan met Liz’s eyes.
“I felt it,” she said slowly. “I’m sure I felt it. He was still there when I walked into the office and I found him unconscious, and then it was like something shifted…”
Liz rested her hands on her shoulders gently.
“You probably did. When you are this close to someone, it is not unusual to be able to feel these things,” she explained softly.
When Kristan said she was ready to get going she simply nodded. She had not expected her to do anything about Mike straight away, so for now she was happy to leave.
"I can drive now," Kristan told her.
"Sure, no problem," Liz nodded, and she handed her the keys to the big Ford Ranger truck.
It was early morning, unusually cold and raining a little, and she shivered as they walked quickly across the car park. In the truck Kristan switched the heating on to high, and she was mainly silent as they drove back toward home. As they neared the end of town, just before turning right onto the main road, she leaned forward in her seat and slowed down a little.
Liz had been about to ask her if she could help with all the things she had to do at work later when Kristan suddenly hit the brakes, and pulled hard over onto the gravel side. Liz turned to look at her, and she was surprised and alarmed when she saw the angry look in her eyes.
"Kris, what is it?"
Kristan jumped out of the car without a word, and she took off in the general direction of the town, walking fast, almost jogging.
Liz stared after her.
She spotted the man walking toward them on the other side; tall, lean, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and carrying a rucksack.
He looked a little familiar.
"Did you hit him?" Kristan screamed at him.
The man frowned.
"What?" he asked.
Kristan stopped in front of him with fury in her eyes.
"Because he wouldn't give you a job? Right?"
She rested her palms against his chest and shoved him back.
"What the fuck are you on about?" he snarled.
Kristan pushed him again, and he stumbled and dropped his rucksack.
"Don't you fucking start," he threatened.
Liz had caught up with them by then. She took Kristan's arm and pulled her back just as the woman was about to lean into James again.
"Don't," she ordered. "Kristan. Kris!"
She stepped in front of her, right in between them, as the man started to laugh a little.
"You want a fight, uh?" he goaded her. "Want to hit me? Come on then!"
Liz kept her hands firmly on Kristan's shoulders, frightened at the intensity on her face.
"Who's that?" she asked.
His expression did not really change when she said that, but he did go a little still.
"You what?" he said.
"Mike is dead, James," Kristan repeated. “Want to tell me about it?"
"You fucking junkie bitch," he exclaimed, and he took a threatening step toward her.
"That's enough," Liz snapped as he stopped only inches from her, breathing hard. "Both of you, stop it! Kristan, call the police."
She glanced back toward her and grabbed her arm to get her attention. Slowly, Kristan met her eyes. She looked lost, as if Liz had just pulled her back from a different reality.
"Kris, do it now," Liz ordered.
"You little cunt. You won't pin that on me," James spat.
He was so close now Liz could smell the alcohol on his breath. He looked dirty, as if he had been sleeping rough. Kristan got on the phone and started talking to the police, and he was still yelling at her. Liz grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her back with her toward the car.
“Come on,” she urged.
"What, you think I would kill my own brother?" he shouted. "Coke fried your brains or fucking what!?"
"We're just outside of town," Kristan was saying into her phone. At the same time she was walking backward, her eyes on James, ready to react if he tried anything. "Yes. Quick as you can," she said.
He lunged toward Liz, but Kristan stepped quickly in front of him and tripped him up.
"Liz, get in the car.”
James stood up and launched himself at Kristan but she easily deflected the blow, and this time she sent him to the ground hard.
The man picked himself up off the floor and screamed.
“Kris, get in,” Liz yelled at her from inside the truck.
She hit the locks as James smashed his fist on the bonnet and started banging on the door.
“You fucking bitch!” he shouted.
“Let’s go,” Liz said tightly. “We need to move, now.”
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