SMTG--Iso-bel Aya Shermac

by Barbara G. Tarn

  They didn't talk much. Dadina knew Iso-bel could read her mind. But Iso-bel kept her shields up, reinforcing that armor of ice around her heart.

  "She's so much like Kol-ian when we first met him," she heard Maela say, worried, when she got back to the mansion. The Sylvanian hadn't heard her or Dadina come in. "She's hiding her feelings like an icy Sire! She wasn't like this, Mya, I'm worried!"

  "Hopefully Dadina will help her decompress," Mya answered, thoughtful.

  Iso-bel and Dadina exchanged a glance. Dadina looked both mournful and hopeful.

  "Do you feel better?" she whispered before heading for the living room where her mother was.

  Iso-bel shrugged and went back to her room. Was there any way she could feel better? With that hole in her heart and the broken mind link?

  She found a missed call from Jes-syd. It was probably time to call him. Maybe he could help.

  She placed the call. Jes-syd answered immediately.

  "Iso-bel! I thought you were avoiding me! As if there wasn't enough tragedy in our lives right now! I need to see you! Where are you? Fucking Gweltazians won't tell me for privacy reasons!"

  "I needed time alone," Iso-bel said. Her voice sounded flatter than ever. "I'm at Villa Mansun."

  "Be there as fast as I can," he replied, signing off.

  Iso-bel put down the phone with a sigh. The walk had tired her muscles and kept her mind busy with physical tasks. Maybe she should just go back to Sylvania and resume her training. Physical exercise seemed to work fine...

  Her eyelids were heavy. She dozed off.

  ***

  She awoke nestled against a warm body. Jes-syd's scent filled her nostrils, but she didn't move. It felt wrong waking up next to him.

  And then the memory hit her. Her family was gone. Marc'harid had become a tomb for most Sire and many other Humanoids living and working there.

  Her hand balled into a fist, and that simple movement informed Jes-syd she was awake.

  She felt his lips on her forehead.

  "Iso-bel?" he called tentatively.

  She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. His amber eyes were full of sorrow, much like everybody else's. His unruly blond mane was spread on the pillow, and he squeezed her in his strong arms – to no effect.

  She disentangled herself from his embrace and sat. She felt detached. From him, from everybody else. She was numb.

  "Iso-bel?" he repeated, putting his hand on her shoulder.

  "That's my name," she snapped. "Was. Iso-bel Shermac is dead."

  "You look alive to me," he replied soothingly. "I'll call you Aya if you prefer."

  She didn't know what she preferred. She didn't care which name was used. She didn't think she could keep living with that hole inside her.

  His warmth was so close, though... She threw herself at him, kissing and ripping off his clothes, as if sex could make her feel alive again. She loved him, she must find comfort in him, his body, his mind...

  But her shields remained up. There was no mind communication, only bodies met on the physical plane. Even feeling him inside her wasn't as before – she was so disconnected from everything...

  She lay on the bed next to him staring at the ceiling. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to seek his tenderness or cry on his shoulder or...

  Nothing. She felt nothing. His light caresses didn't send shivers down her spine anymore.

  Five years of a tender relationship meant to become permanent had suddenly lost any meaning.

  "Princess Arica of Sylvania can take us to Marc'harid," Jes-syd said. "We can talk with the starship captains still doing the rounds in the star system. There are Galaxy Police star-cruisers still on duty and whatever is left of the Sire fleets trying to assess the damages."

  "The Imperial planet is gone," she muttered.

  He sighed. "Yes, I'm afraid it is. My parents, yours. Emma-lin, Ran-ald. So many people gone because a meteor shower threw the Mega Arena at the planet. It's nobody's fault, Iso-bel. All we can do is move on."

  She was a descendant of the last Sire Emperor. She was a Sire princess of the House of Shermac. But none of that mattered anymore. Sire aristocrats and commoners alike had shared the same fate. The catastrophe hadn't spared the "superior" House of Vaurabi or any of the other Sire noble Houses.

  Her grandfather had been the first Imperial prince to say the Sire weren't really superior to the other Humanoids. The tragedy of Marc'harid just proved his point. The mighty telepathic Sire hadn't been able to save themselves. Their powerful minds hadn't stopped the Mega Arena landfall.

  "They sent me a message," she said.

  "Who?" he asked, puzzled.

  "My parents. They transmitted to me before dying."

  "They transmitted to you on Sylvania?" He couldn't believe his ears. But then, he didn't know about mind links – that gift that connected her to her family even on different planets, that link that had proved strong enough to transmit as far as another solar system.

  Her family had been strong with mind links. Her father's cousin had resented him because he couldn't do it. He called them Holy Shermacs for their gifts before finding another Sire with the same gift.

  Iso-bel had meant to mind-link with Jes-syd when they got married, when they finished university. They still had a couple of years and she'd find the right time and place to explain to him what mind-linking implied. Or so she thought before the catastrophe.

  Now she started thinking it was a very bad idea. Considering how the severed blood mind link hurt, she didn't think she could take it if she lost Jes-syd and a love mind link. She didn't think she could have a relationship with anyone now that she had lost everything.

  But she didn't know how to tell Jes-syd. So she let him be in charge, as usual. When they were together, he usually led her. He seemed to know what she wanted and what was best for her. It was fine with her right now. She had no decision-making strength left.

  Maela drove them back to the spaceport where Princess Arica listened to Jes-syd's request. No private ships were allowed in the star system at the moment, but she thought she could get in touch with the fleets, since she was the Sylvanian Queen's daughter.

  The other Sire survivors also joined them onboard the Star Dreamcatcher and the starship headed for Marc'harid.

  Iso-bel just watched as Jes-syd and Kim-ash talked and talked about what had happened and why and what they could do now. She had no idea of what she would do. Again she wanted to just fall asleep and wake up only to discover it was just a nightmare that would vanish with the daylight.

  ***

  The admiral of what was left of the Shermac Fleet teleported herself on the Star Dreamcatcher to speak with Iso-bel.

  "We were in the star system, and we saw it happen," she said, eyes wide as if she were still living it. She was a tall middle-aged Sire who had been working for the House of Shermac all her life. "The Mega Arena was on our screens, and then it wasn't, and by the time we got on this side of the sun, it was way out of orbit and speeding towards the sun. When we realized the planet was on the way and tried to warn them, it was already too late. The NePOshields failed and it crashed down... I heard billions of minds scream for a long time..."

  That was why she looked so haunted. She had heard the whole planet's population die. Must be worse than a single message from loved ones.

  Iso-bel nodded, speechless. Jes-syd, Kim-ash and the other survivors were also silent in front of the woman.

  "The Star Nations will welcome refugees and survivors," Iso-bel said flatly. "You are dismissed from service. You can keep the starship and the crew. I won't need any of it. I don't have a house to protect or go back to anyway."

  The woman's eyes filled with tears. "We tried to teleport them onboard, but that debris hit them before we could lock..."

  So she had seen the Haiduc being hit by the debris. Iso-bel had already seen the brief flash of light in Dadina's mind. The Haiduc II had also tried to teleport away the passengers of t
he doomed Haiduc, in vain.

  "You did your best, Admiral," Iso-bel said. "There is nothing else you can do. Get on with your life."

  "It's not easy when one has felt her loved ones die," the woman replied with a rueful smile.

  I know exactly what you mean, Iso-bel thought. She waved her off and went back to her seat. She was done. She'd written off her home planet – once upon a time a blue and green ball of atmosphere, now a brown ball of dust and smoke that sustained no life.

  "Damn, Iso-bel, since when are you so icy?" Jes-syd grumbled, sitting next to her.

  She shrugged. She didn't care what he thought. She. Did not. Care.

  ***

  "The Khamisi Pride has requested to meet with you," Princess Arica announced. "Would you prefer to meet them here or onboard their starship?"

  "What is the Khamisi Pride doing in this quadrant?" Iso-bel snapped, jarred.

  She knew Leo-will Khamisi was the Sire representative at the High Council of the Star Nations. Another lucky survivor, since his job had taken him away from the home planet for three years. Incidentally, he was also her grandparents' first cousin, another Sire aristocrat from the House of Khamisi.

  "They are looking for you." Princess Arica half smiled. "They went on Gweltaz and were told you were with me."

  Of course they'd look for her on Gweltaz first.

  "I think you should meet him," Jes-syd said. "Lord Khamisi is the most powerful Sire alive and..."

  "You saw how powerful the Sire were when it came to save their planet and their lives!" Iso-bel snapped.

  "He is still Sire," Jes-syd insisted. "He has a Sire mind. His mother was a Shermac. He might be able to help you more than I ever will."

  She scowled at him, but he didn't look away. He was darn serious. And darn right. Her grandfather's cousin surely knew something about mind links.

  She averted her eyes first and snorted.

  "Fine, send me onboard the Khamisi Pride," she muttered, rising from her seat.

  Princess Arica nodded and took her to the teleport room.

  Leo-will was in his sixties, a tall blond man with blue eyes who stared at Iso-bel with a thoughtful expression.

  "Shan-leo's face and Mayumi's body," he said. "I hadn't seen you in years, Iso-bel."

  She nodded. That much was true. He was her grandfather's cousin and they hadn't met that often.

  He cleared his throat. "You know, you actually look like Ker-ris when he was sick from the mind link with Kol-ian," he continued. "Did you have a mind link with someone on the planet?"

  "My family."

  "Ah!" He looked relieved. "Blood mind links are weaker than love mind links. But I know what you're going through. My father was killed by the Emperor. Did your parents release you?"

  "What the hell does that mean?" she exploded. "They're dead, for God's sake, and they told me so!"

  "So they managed to transmit a message before going," he said. "And then they broke the connection, is that how it went?"

  "I don't know!" she shouted. "They were there and then they weren't and..."

  He took her head in both hands and sent soothing waves towards her. She calmed down.

  Take down your shields. Show me. I can help.

  She stiffened, trying to resist his transmissions.

  Iso-bel, relax. Let me help you or this will kill you.

  It has already killed me! her mind screamed.

  Then his mind overcame hers. She gave up her struggles and let him peer into her shattered mind. She was so tired... She lost herself in his eyes as blue as Marc'harid's sky before the deadly impact from space.

  Leo-will slowly nodded. Now that she was calmer, she opened up to his intrusion, allowing for a better comprehension of what had happened.

  Her parents had severed the bond to save her. She'd be dead too if they hadn't done it.

  She still felt empty, numb. She still didn't know what to do with herself. She still didn't see any future.

  It shall pass, Leo-will promised, letting go of her head. You're a natural born fighter, Iso-bel. You won your first fight in the womb, after all.

  It jarred her that he knew her most secret thoughts, but he was right. Her mother had had a twin, and Iso-bel had been one of two embryos. Only one had developed into a baby, but that was why she'd been given two names. Aya was for the unborn twin.

  She almost dropped to the ground when he released her. She hadn't realized how weak her knees were. He was fast to slid his hands under her armpits to keep her upright.

  "I have lost my son, my daughter-in-law and my grandchildren," he said. "I feel your pain. I had a blood mind link with them, much like you did with your family. I know it hurts. But you'll be all right, Iso-bel, I promise."

  She finally found the strength to stand on her two feet and nodded. "Keep in touch," she said quickly, backing away. "Please send me back to the Star Dreamcatcher."

  He signaled the man standing by the teleport machine and watched as she vanished from his ship.

  Iso-bel went back to her seat and sat down, feeling slightly better. Leo-will's mind had given her some strength and shared some of his sorrow – which had helped. She felt less lonely in her struggle.

  And he had reminded her who she was and why had chosen the Sylvanian Academy and a military training that she hadn't really needed so far, but could be useful in the future to find work. Because she'd lost all her family's estate, she was no longer a wealthy Sire.

  She wouldn't mind working for a living, though. Might keep her mind busy. And just because her home had been destroyed didn't mean she wouldn't be able to buy a new one eventually.

  "The Star Dreamcatcher is now headed for Gweltaz and then Sylvania," Princess Arica announced on the intercom.

  "Will you go back to Sylvania?" Jes-syd asked both Kim-ash and Iso-bel.

  "I don't really want to..." Kim-ash answered, looking on the verge of tears. Again. Iso-bel had enough of watching her friend cry her eyes out. Kim-ash was doing enough crying for both of them.

  "Probably," she answered absentmindedly, staring into space. She was still pondering the experience with Leo-will Khamisi. There were so many things she didn't know about Sire minds! And now her father was gone... she'd have to ask her grandparents' cousin from now on.

  ***

  By the time they got to Gweltaz, Iso-bel felt alone in a room full of people. Even Jes-syd and Kim-ash stared at her as if she'd gone completely crazy. Which was probably right, since she couldn't bring herself to care. She said good-bye to her friend and her boyfriend of five years and stayed onboard.

  She was going back to Sylvania. She was going to finish the Sylvanian Academy. And then maybe do a Master Degree on Ulba'wis. And then who knew. Anything to keep her body and mind busy. She was a young woman with no planet to go back to. She could apply for refugee status anywhere and live off the Star Nations, but she was never one to sit idle doing nothing.

  She'd been away for less than a month and Shanell looked as worried as the day she had left. Even her teachers looked worried when they dealt with her, which got on her nerves. She had to tell them she didn't want to discuss what had happened – ever – and they should just pretend nothing wrong was going on.

  Shanell wasn't duped, though.

  "You changed, Aya," she said towards the end of the school year. "What's with the eyeliner? You never wore makeup before."

  "To remind myself I mustn't cry unless I want to become a mask of black lines. I'm a fighter, not a girly girl."

  "You never were a girly girl!" Shanell smiled. "Will you be meeting Jes-syd during the break?"

  "No, I'm staying on Sylvania," Iso-bel answered with a shrug. "What will you do during the break?"

  Shanell chuckled. "I'll go exploring Sylvanian beaches, as usual."

  "I could do that," Iso-bel replied. "Haven't done it before, so why not?"

  ***

  She felt at peace with herself – if she didn't think about the past and what she had lost. She lived her life
one day at the time, staying in the present as much as she could. She became very proficient with double swords fighting and got herself two blades of black alloy that made her feel strong and powerful.

  She was preparing for a career in the Galaxy Police, probably, or she could enroll in any Humanoid army that would take her.

  Physical exercise was the only way to be too tired to dream at night. Studying hard was another good way to keep her mind busy. The remaining year at the Academy flew by and she almost couldn't believe it when she got her degree along with Shanell.

  "Now what?" Shanell asked, excited. "I think I'm going to buy myself a small starship and start some business! What about you?"

  "I don't know." Iso-bel pondered. Maybe it was time to get in touch with her people – whatever was left of them. Jes-syd has stopped calling a long time ago and had probably found someone else in the meantime. "I'm not sure I want to live on a starship, though," she mused.

  And then Leo-will Khamisi contacted her, asking her to meet again. His term at the High Council was over, and there wouldn't be another Sire representative, since they were now such a minority scattered through the galaxy.

  Shanell took her to meet with the Khamisi Pride and Iso-bel hugged her roommate good-bye.

  "Take care of yourself, Aya," Shanell said. "And be in touch. Not like you did with your Sire friends, I mean."

  Iso-bel smiled despite herself as the Sylvanian winked with an impish smile.

  "I'll keep in touch," she promised. "If you don't mention my planet or my people ever again."

  "I won't." Shanell pretended to zip her mouth closed and waved her good-bye.

  Iso-bel was teleported on the Sire cruise ship and Leo-will congratulated her for her degree.

  "I wish I could have been there," he said. "Where are you headed now?"

  "I'm thinking of doing a Master Degree on Ulba'wis," she answered. "Should keep me busy for another couple of years."

  Leo-will nodded, thoughtful. "Would you like to have a short cruise with me? I'm settling on Gweltaz afterward, since it's the closest planet to Marc'harid..."

  "How can you bear to say that name?" she asked, scowling.