Just Married...Again

by Charlotte Hughes

  “He’s being too nice,” Michael grumbled. “I don’t like it.”

  “Maybe he’s learned a big lesson since running away.”

  He snorted. “Yeah, like don’t get married.”

  “That’s not fair to couples who’ve been happily married for many years.”

  “I don’t have to be fair, Maddy.”

  “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about, Michael. You don’t even remember me. You don’t know what flavor ice cream I like, you don’t know what type of books I read, and you know nothing about me.”

  This amnesia business was really beginning to work against him, he thought. But he couldn’t conveniently regain his memory just because it had served his purpose for a time. He would have to start remembering things gradually, or she’d suspect the truth.

  “I may have temporarily forgotten bits and pieces of our life together, Maddy, but my heart remembers. Why do you think making love to you last night and again this morning was such a natural thing for me? I seriously doubt either of us have ever shared that level of intimacy with another person. And you can give me that crap about being cold and reaching out to someone all you want, but you still feel something for me or you would never have given of yourself the way you did.”

  He stopped talking when he noted her bowed head and clenched fists. “What’s wrong, Maddy?” He put a finger beneath her jaw and lifted her head so that he was looking directly into her face. Her eyes were bright and glistening with tears. They trembled precariously on her eyelids before falling to her cheek. “What’s wrong, babe?”

  She gulped back a sob. “Why are you doing this to me?” she cried. “Why are you punishing me?”

  He shook his head. “I’m not trying to punish you,” he said emphatically.

  “You have no idea what it’s like being married to a person who doesn’t even know you’re alive.”

  “That’s not true, Maddy!”

  “How do you know? You can’t even remember how badly you treated me.”

  He gritted his teeth. How the hell could he defend himself when he was supposed to have amnesia? He stared back at her. “How badly I treated you?” he echoed. “Please be kind enough to fill me in.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” She started to get up.

  He pulled her back down beside him. “That’s too bad, because you’re going to talk about it until I have a clear understanding of what a rotten husband I was to you. Now, then, did I cheat on you? Was there another woman?”

  She sniffed. “No, it was nothing like that.”

  “Did I beat you?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.”

  “I suppose I wasn’t a good provider.”

  She was getting tired of his questions. “You were an excellent provider. We had everything we needed.”

  “I was a lousy lover, is that it?”

  She glared at him.

  “Surely, I did one nice thing during our marriage,” he said, determined to make her remember the good times they’d shared.

  She heaved an enormous sigh. “You attended a few plays with me,” she said. “And a couple of artsy movies. You didn’t enjoy them, but you attended anyway and never complained. Satisfied?”

  “That’s it?”

  “You said name one, and I named two.”

  “If that’s the only thing I ever did for you, then I’d want out of our marriage, too.”

  “What’s the point of all this, Michael?” She saw that he wasn’t going to give up. “Okay, I suppose you want a blow-by-blow of every little thing you did for me. If that’ll make you feel better, fine, but it’s not going to make a difference to me because I’ve already decided what I want and don’t want in life.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Let’s see now.” She tapped a finger against her chin. “You always got involved in the charities I was interested in. You worked with me every year to collect food and toys at Christmas, and you hounded everybody at work to give. You always collected more money than anybody else when we walked for the March of Dimes. And you always gave blood, even though you don’t like needles.” She looked at him. “I’m sure I’ve missed something, but that’s all that comes to mind at the moment. Let’s suffice it to say you were a good neighbor to those in need.”

  He nodded thoughtfully. “Well, that’s fine and dandy, but I was more interested in hearing if there were things I’d done for you personally.”

  She glanced away quickly. “Of course there were,” she said, trying to sound casual about the whole thing. “I just can’t remember them at the moment.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  She didn’t answer.

  Michael stood and walked over to the fire. He grabbed the poker and stirred it, then placed a fresh log at the top. He continued to stand there and stare at the flames, wondering where their conversation was leading, afraid it might not lead anywhere. He couldn’t force Maddy to love him any more than he could force the sun to come up in the morning. For someone who’d always needed to be in charge of his life and the situations around him, he suddenly discovered he was helpless. He could feel himself getting angry because of it.

  “When my car’s air conditioner went out last summer, you drove my car for a couple of days until it could be fixed. You didn’t want me to have to deal with the heat.”

  Michael turned and looked at her. A single tear slid down her cheek. He wanted to go to her but didn’t. He made himself stand still and keep quiet.

  “And when I was hit with a really bad case of the flu, a couple of years back, you stayed home with me for three days.” She swiped at her tears. “You got so far behind at work that you couldn’t take off when it was your turn to get sick.”

  Michael remembered she’d packed a thermos of soup for him each day during that time. And when he dragged home from work, she’d have a bath run, his pajamas laid out, and his cold medicine waiting. He’d climb shivering into bed, only to find the covers already warm from the electric blanket, and when he had turned his nose up at food, she’d driven halfway across town for his favorite peanut-butter milkshake. He’d almost hated to get well.

  He rejoined her on the sofa. “Sounds like we had a pretty good marriage, if you ask me,” he said at last. “I can’t believe you actually want to divorce me.”

  “Believe it, Michael. You should have a copy of the separation agreement in your possession. That will offer you the proof you need.”

  “Speaking of the agreement,” he said, clearing his throat. “You obviously haven’t studied up on divorce laws in this state.”

  “I know that we have to be living separate and apart for one year before filing for a divorce.”

  “Separate and apart,” he said, nodding in agreement, “and without resuming our marital relationship. You know what that means, don’t you?”

  His meaning didn’t sink in at first, but when it did, Maddy felt the color drain from her face. They’d had sexual intercourse; they’d resumed their marital relationship. How could she have forgotten something like that?!

  The look on his face told her he hadn’t forgotten. He was an attorney, and the amnesia obviously had not affected that part of his memory. He’d taken advantage of her neediness and voided the agreement completely.

  She flew to her feet. “You slime ball!” she said, just as she had begun to remember some of his more redeeming qualities.

  “Now wait a minute,” he said, standing as well. “You are the one who came on to me last night.”

  “You knew the consequences; you should have put a stop to it.” She was angry enough to spit. “I should have done more than hit you over the head with that poker,” she said.

  He caught a brief image in his mind of what she would have liked to do. Half-afraid she might actually go for the poker again, Michael stepped between her and the wrought-iron fireplace tools. “You’re getting upset, Maddy.”

  “Damn right, I’m upset,” she said with a look of sheer hostility. “I do
n’t want to have to start this whole procedure over. Can’t you get it in your head; I don’t want to be married to you any longer than I have to.”

  Her words sliced through him like knives. “Don’t say things you might regret later.”

  She had begun to cry, but her tears were angry ones. “You want to know if there were good times in our marriage?” she asked. “Sure there were. When you were home,” she added. “But you were seldom home, you see, so it wasn’t much of a marriage at all. Most mornings I got up alone, I ate alone, and at night I went to bed alone. The only way I knew you’d come home was if you’d eaten the plate of food I left sitting on the stove or if you’d hung your wet towel over the shower door. And when Sunday rolled around and I dreamed of us doing something together, I’d always end up spending that day alone, too. Finally, when I told you I just couldn’t take it anymore, you told me to get a cat.” She swiped at fresh tears. “Like that was supposed to make it all right.”

  “I’m sorry, Maddy.”

  “You didn’t care about me, what was happening in my life or with my job. All you cared about were your clients and impressing the partners. I was nothing to you. I was just there to run your house and pick up your dry cleaning and take your phone messages. I figured I must be the worst wife in the world to make my husband prefer working eighty hours a week to coming home. Finally, I was convinced you were having an affair, and I started spying on you. I’d go through your wallet while you were in the shower or peek inside your briefcase. I even started listening in on your phone conversations.”

  She could barely talk through her tears. “That’s when I realized I had to get help.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I’ll bet you never knew I was seeing a therapist, did you?”

  He hadn’t known any of it. He just looked at her, feeling as though his heart would break.

  “It took several months for me to come to terms with the fact that our marriage was over. I had already begun looking for a place to live when I discovered I was pregnant.” Her eyes took on a glazed look of pure anguish. “And I deeply regret that you don’t remember the scene that followed when I told you.”

  He remembered. As badly as he wished he could forget, he suspected that memory would stay with him forever. “All I can do is apologize, Maddy,” he said.

  She picked up a pillow and hit him with it. “It’s not enough. It doesn’t even come close, after you accused me of trying to trick you,” she added, slamming him with the pillow again and again. “It never occurred to you that maybe I was so depressed over our crumbling marriage that I completely forgot to take my birth-control pills. You never once stopped to consider that I was just as shocked and scared as you were.” She hit him square in the face.

  Doing his best to dodge the blows, Michael finally snatched the pillow from her. “Maddy, for God’s sake!” He grabbed her and she collapsed against him. She gave a tortured cry that was followed by deep heartrending sobs. Michael held her close, trying to offer what little comfort he could. He suddenly realized his own eyes were moist.

  “They didn’t even call it a baby when it died,” she said, her voice muffled against his sweatshirt. “They called it a fetus, and they disposed of it as though it were nothing more than waste material. I was supposed to go on like nothing had happened. There was no grave, nothing. No place to visit and take flowers.”

  Michael knew he should say something, but he didn’t trust his voice at the moment. He simply held her in his arms and rocked her gently while she wept. Danny came into the kitchen and grabbed a soft drink from the refrigerator, then paused as though wondering if there was something he could do to help. Michael shook his head, and the boy hurried down the hall and closed the door.

  “Maddy, listen to me,” Michael said. “You’ve got to let go of these painful memories so you can go on with your life. They’re holding you back, sweetheart. And you’ve got to let yourself forgive me once and for all.”

  She tore away from him. Her eyes were swollen, but they were filled with accusation. “Forgive you?” she said, as though the mere thought were too outlandish to consider.

  “Not because I deserve it, babe, but because it’s doing harm to you to carry those feelings around. Surely, you can see that.” She looked doubtful. “You can go on hating me for the rest of your life,” he said. “But it’s not going to change the past, and it’s not going to bring our baby back.”

  She looked unmoved by his brief speech. “Sure, I’ll forgive you, Michael, when hell freezes over.” Without another word, she flung herself away from him and hurried down the hall.

  Feeling dazed, Michael dropped onto the sofa. He waited until he heard the bedroom door close before he buried his face in his hands and sank into despair.

  Chapter Ten

  When Michael finally raised up, he found Rambo lying at his feet and Muffin curled beside him on the sofa. Danny sat in the chair nearby, absorbed in a detective magazine. Michael patted the female dachshund on the head, and her brother wagged his tail and nudged his other hand so he could get attention as well. Half expecting the animal to try to take off his other thumb, but too miserable to care, Michael reached down and stroked him under his chin. Rambo surprised him by licking his hand.

  “Well, now this is a change,” Michael said. “I wish I could convince your mistress to like me.”

  Danny looked up from his reading. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just worried about you. I’ve never seen you sit still for so long.”

  “This magazine is awesome, Uncle Michael. And it says these stories are true. I wonder if my dad has done any exciting stuff like they have in here.”

  “Oh, sure,” Michael said. “Your dad’s a regular hero, only he doesn’t like to talk about it. Your mother has told me some stories, though.”

  “Like what?”

  Michael could see the kid was dying to know. He wondered why his brother didn’t share things with his son. A boy should be proud of his father. “You know that dentist you see, that Dr. Graff?”

  “You mean, Dr. Grafton?”

  “Yeah, that’s his name. Why do you think he never charges your family?”

  The boy shrugged. “He told me Dad did him a favor once.”

  “Your dad did him a helluva favor. He was driving through Dr. Grafton’s neighborhood one night, after somebody had called the station complaining about a barking dog. Actually, it was more like two in the morning. Anyway, your dad noticed the basement lights were on in a particular house, and he decided to check it out. He found the doctor, his wife, and three young kids tied up.”

  “At the time the city was still reeling over a murder that had taken place the week before, an elderly couple found shot to death in their basement. They’d been robbed. The two men seen leaving the scene of the crime matched the identity of the ones at the doctor’s house.”

  Danny’s eyes were wide. “Did anybody get killed at Dr. Grafton’s?”

  “Yeah, one of the burglars. Your dad didn’t have time to call backup, because one of the guys was holding a gun at the youngest kid’s head. He thought it would be more fun if he started with the baby and worked his way up. Your dad knocked the window out, ordered the men to throw down their weapons, but this guy was determined to kill that little kid no matter what. Your dad took him out before he got the chance.”

  “He killed him?”

  Michael nodded. “Shot the other guy in the hand and shoulder, pretty much put him out of commission till he could climb through the window and cuff him.”

  “How come he never told me?” Danny said. “I asked him one time if he’d ever killed anybody and he changed the subject. Sorta acted mad at me for asking.”

  “Cops don’t like to kill people, Danny. Most of them will go to any length to prevent a shooting. But your dad wasn’t about to let this guy take an innocent life, and I can tell you the Graftons never forgot it.”

  “He really is a hero,” Danny said.

  “Many times over,” Michael rep
lied. “This is why he made detective before he was thirty. You have every reason to be proud of him.”

  “I’ll bet my dad has better stories than the ones in this magazine,” Danny said.

  Michael could tell the boy was impressed with what he’d been told. “I’m sure he does. He’s seen it all. Perhaps that’s why he’s so—”

  “Strict?” Danny interrupted.

  “Cautious,” Michael said. “I guess when you’ve seen a lot of bad things in this world, you just naturally want to take special care of the people you love.”

  ”Sometimes he goes overboard.”

  “Maybe now you’ll understand why.” Michael leaned closer. “Just think, Danny. Think what must’ve gone through his mind the night he saw those three kids tied up, a gun at the youngest one’s head. I’m sure it has stayed with him all these years.”

  Danny looked thoughtful. “He’s going to ground me for a year because I ran away. I’ll be eighteen before I have TV privileges again.”

  “Look on the bright side. You’ll have more time to study. Your grades ought to be outstanding.”

  The boy gave him a cynical smile. “Thanks, that’s just what I wanted to hear. Hey, one thing. How come I can’t call you Uncle Mike?”

  “Folks used to call me Mike. Then I went to law school and decided I was going to be this hotshot attorney, so I had everybody call me Michael. I thought it sounded more distinguished.” He pondered it. “I think I liked myself better when I was just plain ol’ Mike. It sounds solid, unpretentious. I’d be proud to have you call me that.”

  “I’m sorry you and Aunt Maddy are having trouble.”

  Michael gave him the closest thing he had to a smile. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”

  “But you two belong together. Aunt Maddy’s just upset over what happened in the past.” He sighed. “I wish you could at least be friends.”