Cowboy Come Home

by Sinclair Jayne

  But he didn’t feel right leaving her alone.

  She must feel stranded.

  He wanted her to know that she wasn’t. He had her back. But what he wanted to do was tell her that he wished he were different, a better man. No, what he really wanted was to say ‘fuck it. Let’s stay together because the thought of not seeing you smile at me first thing in the morning and last thing at night makes me feel so empty inside I want to howl like a Yellowstone wolf.’

  Mixed messages.

  Brilliant.

  He needed his head examined.

  Needed the type of clarity that came from top-shelf whiskey except that it really didn’t.

  No, better yet, he needed his ass kicked.

  Piper wasn’t in the trailer, but it looked really clean. Spare. He tried to stuff down the dread. He took a step toward the small closet, but stopped, his hand on the handle.

  He was not ready for that shitty reality. He knew that much.

  Boone left the trailer and headed to her massage tent. He tried not to change his expression, but knew he failed that test too, when he saw Dean Maynard exiting Piper’s massage tent pulling on his T-shirt way too slowly for Boone’s peace of mind.

  He wanted to kick himself. After he kicked Maynard. They’d talked about this. How it was her profession. And he got that. He’d been remarkably level-headed even when a lot of the cowboys had razzed him about his girl putting her hands on so many other men.

  Usually they kept their clothes on. Figured Maynard would push it.

  Maynard jerked his head in greeting. Boone waited for the caustic, sexual remark.

  “Thanks, Piper,” Dean said. “I have way more rotation now.”

  Piper emerged from her tent, methodically wiping her hands on a scent-free wipe. Her white cotton coat was wrapped tightly around her slim body.

  “That’s good, Dean, but still you should ice it for fifteen minutes two to three times within the next hour or so, and drink lots of water today—not whiskey.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Piper handed him his Stetson. He pushed it on and then touched the brim in her direction. “Good to know you, Piper. You take care now.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled. “Hey, Boone.” Her voice softened, and usually he liked that except it wasn’t warm. It was tentative, and he hated that. “Everything ready for your big day?”

  He shrugged. In truth he didn’t feel ready for any of today. Not one fucking thing. Too damn bad. It was going to hit with the force of an IED anyway.

  “I’m good.” He resisted touching her. “Feel like a pancake? Fundraiser at the park.”

  She looked at her watch. “No thank you. I’m meeting someone at nine.”

  “Oh.” Boone rocked back on his heels. “Who?” Fuck, he had no business asking that. “I mean where? I can walk you there or do you need a lift?” That sounded slightly less needy.

  Piper hesitated, and he felt a frisson of nerves crawl down his spine.

  “Okay,” Piper said.

  He held out his hand. She hesitated.

  “Sorry.” He jammed his hands in his pockets.

  He wore Wranglers today. He’d already caught shit from his dad about the switch to Levi’s. Piper liked them. But now Piper wouldn’t give a shit about what he wore, and it seemed like a physical reminder that they were no longer a ‘they,’ only his dumb brain couldn’t seem to get the message. And his body felt like six levels of hell.

  He paused at the top of the bridge into Crawford Park and dug into his pocket.

  He handed her a dime. “Close your eyes and make a wish.”

  Again, her eyes searched his. He felt like he was swimming in all that green. His dad used to take him and his brother and sister fishing in alpine lakes when he was young, and Piper’s eyes reminded him of the lake shallows on a sunny day—green, sparkling, inviting and just a little touch of the mysterious.

  “Why do you only have a nickel?”

  “Your wishes are more valuable than mine,” he said glibly.

  “Don’t say that, Boone.” Piper’s voice was fierce. “Don’t even think it. That is so far from the truth. You are an amazing man. Amazing. And you’ll find your way. I know you will.”

  Boone stared at her a little dazed by her passion.

  “Let’s wish together,” he offered, needing the connection to her more than he ever had.

  Boone palmed her fist holding her coin, his nickel pressed against the back of her hand, the bridge at their backs.

  “Ready, set, go,” he said and they swung their arms up together and the silver glittered in an arc, catching the morning sun—air shiny clear after the rain—before splashing down in the slow-moving creek.

  And somehow, feeling Piper’s hand in his, seeing the silver glint fly in the morning air, he felt the first stirrings of promise. Nothing had ever felt so right in his life as Piper. Nothing. And he had to find a way to hold on to that promise, find a way to deserve her so they could build the life she wanted with him in it instead of him floundering far away.

  *

  Piper wished she didn’t have doubts as she cupped her steaming chai and sat down at the table where Amanda waited, her blonde hair shiny and silky as it tumbled down her back. She wanted to feel excited. She wanted to feel sure. She didn’t want to feel so hollow inside.

  She felt like she and Boone could still have a chance, but she had to be true to herself. And maybe some time apart would give him some clarity. It was a risk. She knew that. But one she felt she needed to take. She was worth it. Boone was worth it.

  “Hi, Amanda,” Piper said approaching the table.

  Amanda stood up and gave her a warm hug.

  “It’s good to see you. Thanks for meeting me and taking a chance on me renting the room in your salon.”

  “I think it’s going to be a great match,” Amanda said looking at Piper appraisingly. There was kindness and a touch of sympathy. “I wasn’t actively looking to rent it out. I felt the right person would find me and the salon, but when we met and spoke I just had a really good feeling.”

  Piper saw Boone standing outside the Java Café still, an indecisive look marring his handsome features. She felt torn. She wanted to run to him, even as she knew she needed to walk away.

  “You know Boone usually comes home a lot during the rodeo season. And he spends his tour breaks on the ranch.” Amanda clearly noticed Piper was distracted and staring out the front window. “If you’re hoping to avoid him, Marietta isn’t the best place to settle. But if you’re hoping that he’ll come home for good for you, that plan has a chance.”

  The words filled her with hope and despair.

  “I don’t really have a plan on that front,” Piper said with dignity. “Boone has to find his own path, and I need to find mine.”

  “Are you certain, Piper, that you’re ready to strike out on your own? That you’re ready to take this risk and settle in Marietta even with Boone still touring?”

  “I know it seems like I’m taking a calculated risk.” Piper dragged her attention back to Amanda. “And I’m probably in big fat denial if I say that I don’t hope he’ll want to continue to be with me, but…” She paused as she saw Tucker and Tanner enter the café and go to the counter to order what looked like a lot of coffees since Tanner grabbed three to-go carriers, and Tucker was already reading orders off her phone while her sister helped to write the orders on the side of the cup. Tucker looked up, spotted her and grinned, and gave her a thumbs-up.

  “Stay put! Let me get these orders in.”

  Piper felt warmth bloom in her chest. Shane had offered her studio apartment to sublet for three months until the lease was up; Amanda had a room in her salon where she could set up her business. She had enough savings to survive while she built up her clientele. Miranda had offered her doctor husband up to introduce her to the physical therapy team at the hospital and she had a few budding friendships. Yeah, it would take work, but building her future was worth the effort.

  “I’m certain
,” she said.

  *

  Piper walked back along Main Street. The rodeo was about to start, but she lingered at the stands of the few remaining sidewalk vendors. She really should be saving her money, but it was tempting to get a present for Boone—something that he could remember their time together by. Piper wasn’t confident that she’d find anything that could possibly signify how special he was to her until she found a collection of beaded wrap bracelets for women and some thicker leather bracelets for men.

  She eyed a black braided bracelet. It had a few copper beads threaded through the design as well as some other beads that were pale blue and reminded her of sea glass—where they met, in California. The bracelet was hooked over a Montana quarter. She eyed the animal skull.

  The design was stark, powerful and a little edgy. Artistic but screamingly masculine.

  Perfect.

  Piper paid and tucked the box with the copper-colored bow into her backpack.

  *

  Boone had been worried that his head wouldn’t be completely in the game, but he felt the familiar calm settle over him as he waited to be called for his first event. He’d managed to shove his entire life aside as he shrugged into his protective vest and went through his pre-ride ritual while he waited for his name to be called for the bucking bronc. He ran his rope through his glove back and forth five times. Stomped his left foot twice then his right twice. He squatted down. Breathed in deep and then out. And popped to his feet. He stretched out his arms.

  And when his name was called, he hopped up on top of the chute and watched the back of the restless bronc shift side to side aggressively.

  “Hell, yes.”

  He’d royally fucked up with Piper, but this, this he was going to slay.

  Boone ran his boot along the back of the bronc, making it stir even more uneasily. Murmurs ran round the chute staff, and Boone felt his pulse kick up.

  Beautiful.

  He dropped down on the bronc and immediately began to adjust his hand pull. He could feel the power of the animal beneath him and his body easily adjusted while he got his balance and hold set.

  He needed this ride.

  He nodded his head; slide of metal and it was on.

  It was an epic ride, and Boone jumped off with more determination than he’d had when he’d climbed on. He was a cowboy, and he had come to win.

  He was still in the zone when his dad joined him by the chute for his second event: steer wrestling.

  “Going to beat your time from yesterday?”

  “Likely never,” Boone said, keeping his mind on visualizing the next ride, dropping down on the steer as soon as it cleared the chute. He wanted to focus on the steer rather than on the fact that after his bronc ride, he’d scanned the grandstands hoping to catch sight of Piper even though he’d told himself not to look.

  But there’d been no sign of her.

  That was for the best, he told himself. Still didn’t believe it.

  “Hella ride on the bronc earlier,” his dad said.

  Boone didn’t count his scores or wins or money until the competition finished so he let the compliment roll off him.

  When he was called and he’d settled on Sundance, he felt like a machine. He nodded his head, and as he burst out of the chute, he threw himself onto the steer, grabbed, twisted, rolled, held and then released as he popped up. It was over almost before he realized he’d started, although he had hit the dirt hard.

  That was going to hurt tomorrow.

  Like everything else in his life.

  “Damn.” His father laughed. “Freaky fast. I never once did it under 3.4.”

  A 3.3. Boone shook his head, feeling good. Last year’s disaster was finally in his rearview mirror. One more event, the big daddy bull riding. His favorite.

  “I’m going to meet up with your mother for lunch,” his dad said quietly. “Join us?”

  Boone’s gut tightened. “Nah. Got some things to do.”

  His father looked him in the eye. “Can I count on you to come to the ranch this week?”

  “Not sure. Made a promise. Not sure how it will play out yet.”

  His dad took off his Stetson, ran his hand through his hair and then reset his hat back on his head. Boone felt like he’d seen a ghost. He did that exact same thing when he wanted to say something, but wasn’t quite sure what to say or how it would be received.

  “Just spit it out,” Boone said. “But I made a commitment.” His time wasn’t his own this week because he didn’t know where Piper wanted to go.

  “That’s just it, Boone, you didn’t make a commitment to anyone, not even yourself, and I think that’s what’s bothering you the most.”

  What the hell? Was his dad trying to be freakin’ Yoda? “There is no try, there is only do,” Boone loosely quoted what he remembered from a Star Wars movie. Well, George Lucas got that about right. And Boone intended to do so as well.

  As if to prove a point to himself, after he stabled Sundance, Boone scrolled through his phone looking through the Paradise Valley land auction site. He’d done this often over the years, dreaming. Maybe it was time to make the jump. Figure out what he’d do with a chunk of land later, or more honestly, figure out how he’d do what he’d thought about doing since he’d been a teenager helping his dad work with kids in rodeo schools and 4-H clubs and FFA.

  He paused on one parcel of land. It was finally going up for auction in October. Excitement and nerves flared. Normally he wouldn’t consider it. He wasn’t ready. Wasn’t sure he had the funds saved for the down payment. But he couldn’t keep living his life that way—putting every decision off, never making a plan. He took risks every weekend on the tour, but he trained. Maybe now it was time to take a different type of risk.

  Deep in thought, Boone walked toward Piper’s tent. Only it wasn’t there. He did a double take and then wound his way slowly through the maze of trucks and trailers. The field was still full with the rigs of rodeo participants and support staff, but more than a few cowboys who hadn’t made the cut to the short round had pulled out last night or early this morning to return to families or jobs. He looked in the back of his truck. Nothing. He blinked as if the rolled blue vinyl and tent poles would magically appear.

  Boone bounded up the trailer stairs and went inside. No Piper. Also he realized why it was so clean and empty-feeling. Piper’s large flowery duffel bag on wheels was gone along with the toiletries she’d had stashed in a blue and white striped canvas tote. He stood in the middle of the small space. Nothing of Piper remained. Just memories and a whisper of her scent.

  He slowly sat on the bed. Stared at the carpet. He’d chosen it, cut it, laid it, paid for it when he and his dad had bought the trailer used from a retiring bronc stock coordinator.

  “Boone?” He looked up feeling a little dazed, almost thinking he’d imagined Piper’s voice.

  “Hey.” She stood in front of him.

  “Where’s your stuff?” he asked. “I told you I’d help you pack it up and take you wherever you wanted to go.”

  Piper’s fingers brushed along his hand before she put her hands down by her sides. Her beautiful fiery red-blonde hair was pulled back in a sleek, low bun, but she wore jeans and a tank top and the western-style snap shirt she’d bought her first day in Marietta.

  She looked beautiful and sad.

  “I know. No need.”

  “Piper, I’m not just going to leave you to…”

  “I know.” She covered his hands with hers. “I’ve…um…decided to stay.” Her eyes were steady.

  “Where?”

  “I’m going to stay in Marietta.”

  “Marietta?”

  Piper took a deep breath. “I know I probably seem like a stalker, but of all the towns we’ve been to, I like this one the best.”

  “Piper, you can’t just randomly start up a new life in a town you’ve only been in a few days,” he said. “I will only be here during the off-season and…”

  “Boone, this has noth
ing to do with you,” she interrupted firmly. “I know it looks like I’m staying because this is your town, but really the plan was always for you to show me the west, and you did. You took me to small towns all over Montana, and Utah, and Colorado. We even went to a few places in New Mexico and Wyoming. I’ve seen it. I went to school in Southern California, and that was too hectic, too big, too anonymous for me.”

  She was staying. Piper would be in Marietta. Part of him rejoiced, but another part didn’t know how to feel. He’d be too tempted to see her. And what if he came back from the last few rodeos and she was dating someone?

  Fuck.

  He shifted uncomfortably.

  “But you’ve only seen Montana in the summer. It’s cold in the winter, Piper. After Christmas the tourists leave except for a few avid outdoor sports fans. It’s dark. Storms hit and the snow piles up.”

  “I’m sure I’ll learn all about it, Boone,” Piper said. “But this is my decision. I’ve lived a lot of places. I’m good at moving. Now I intend to get good at staying.”

  He stood up. “Piper, I won’t lie and say I don’t think about trying to win you back when I feel like I have more to offer you than a rodeo cowboy trying to make a name for himself.”

  “Love’s not a game, Boone. I’m not a prize.”

  “You’re everything I ever wanted in a woman, Piper.”

  “Boone, don’t say those things. Aim higher in your ambition. You bring so much to the party. Don’t count yourself so cheap.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He made her smile. “But what will you do? Where will you live?”

  “I’ve rented a space in The Wright Salon to do massage. I found a furnished studio to sublet for a few months. It’s Shane Knight’s. She said she’s going to travel a little and head home to Tennessee in a few days or a week.”

  “You’ve been busy.” He was stunned that while he’d been second-guessing his decision, Piper had been planning the life she’d always wanted.