Paper Wife

by Laila Ibrahim

  Bo leaned against Mei Ling and patted the precious baby in Kai Li’s arms. Mei Ling squeezed his small body and kissed the top of his head. She smiled at her husband, holding little Joy, her heart exploding with happiness.

  CHAPTER 16

  San Francisco

  December 1923

  Mrs. Woo, the birthing companion, returned the next day with soups and herbs. Kai Li hired the woman for the traditional month of rest. Mei Ling would mostly stay in bed to regain her strength so she could make rich milk. Many men invested in the confinement month only for sons, but Kai Li wanted strong milk for his Joy. Mrs. Woo even took Bo out each day, giving Mei Ling time to rest and enjoy her miraculous newborn.

  Kai Li left in the dark and returned after sunset. He worked even longer hours to pay for the expense of Joy’s birth. Every night Kai Li brought home his delicious cooking to nourish her body and lift her spirits. Mei Ling was so grateful for his efforts and wished she could do more to relieve him of the financial burdens of their home.

  She asked Mrs. Woo, “How can a wife fulfill her domestic duties and help with the expenses?”

  “Many women sew at home,” Mrs. Woo explained. “Most do simple seams by hand or they lease a machine, but I have another idea for you. This needlework is exquisite. I know a store that would pay well for it.”

  “For this?” Mei Ling pointed at a flower on Joy’s blanket. Embroidery was something that every woman did. She couldn’t imagine someone would pay her for it.

  “Yes. Many men in America have no wives. And some Westerners want to buy what we Chinese make.” The woman shrugged. “We women must take what advantages we can find, right?”

  “Yes we must,” Mei Ling agreed.

  “I’ll arrange it for you,” the woman said. She pointed to the runner on the table. “Can I take this to show him the quality of your work? I will negotiate top dollar for you.”

  Mrs. Woo returned a few days later with good news. She pulled out some plain runners in green silk trimmed with black. “My connection says he will give you two dollars for each one you finish.”

  Mei Ling gasped. She could embroider a table runner in three days. She might be able to add five dollars a week to their household! Minus the cost of the embroidery floss, which she could purchase with one of Ahma’s coins. Her skills and Ahma’s generosity would add to her family’s well-being. She decided to keep this news private from Kai Li until she was certain of a successful outcome.

  When the month was over, Mei Ling journeyed out with Joy and Bo on her own. She fed the girl, wrapped a new napkin around her bottom, and then tied Joy onto her chest. It was a sweet feeling to hold her so close, almost like she was inside her once again.

  She grabbed the letter for her family with the news that they had a new granddaughter and set out holding Bo’s hand. The air was still damp and gray. She wouldn’t keep Joy outside for long, but it felt good to be in these somewhat-familiar streets. Bo trotted by her side, happy to be in his mother and sister’s company.

  Mei Ling still scanned young faces, hoping to see the child who filled her dreams, but she no longer expected that she would simply run into Siew one day. The girl most likely didn’t live in San Francisco’s Chinatown. She’d learned that California was very large, bigger even than Guangdong Province. Siew might be hundreds of miles away.

  First they walked up the steep hill to the post office, then to Mei Ling’s favorite produce market. The women at the market fussed over the three of them—giving them garlic and papaya for the new mother and a stick candy for the new brother. Lastly she went to the meat market for pig’s feet.

  She didn’t cook dinner many nights, since Kai Li brought delicious food home. However, she wanted a soup to keep their livers warm and the baby strong in the winter. By the time she returned to their one-room apartment she was ready for a nap, but she was proud of herself. She’d navigated the streets of San Francisco with two children.

  Mrs. Woo stopped coming over each day, but once a week she returned to collect Mei Ling’s meticulously finished caps and runners and supply Mei Ling with plain ones.

  “The boss man likes your work,” the woman said as she handed over two silver dollars in exchange for four caps. Mei Ling delighted at the compliment. She’d worked hard on each one, wanting to make certain her work was high enough quality to keep it coming.

  The woman went on, “But you don’t have to make them so nice.”

  Mei Ling stared at her, confused.

  “Go faster. Make more. He keeps selling them all.” The woman laughed.

  “I will.” Mei Ling agreed to pick up the pace and lower the quality.

  Kai Li would be happy, and relieved, to hear the news of her success. She’d started sharing her earnings after a few weeks of sales. Remembering her Ahma’s words, she kept a portion of her pay secret to add to the coins from her grandmother, but most of it went toward their debt.

  At the rate they were paying, they had about two years before the immigration costs for her and Bo were settled. Kai Li’s income covered their basic expenses: food, clothes, and housing. They had just enough money so long as they stayed healthy and continued living in these crowded quarters, a single room for four people.

  “Wife,” Kai Li spoke up at dinner. The formality in his voice raised concern in her heart. “I have been given a fortuitous opportunity.” He sounded disappointed, contradicting his words with his affect.

  She stared at him, keeping her face calm, not letting her mind travel too far into fear.

  “The Johnson Produce Market has invited me to be a peddler on Alameda Island. The current one is moving to the Delta to work for his uncle. I can earn nearly double my current wages, and our children will no longer have a father who is a servant.”

  Mei Ling waited to hear the problem behind this seemingly good opportunity. Kai Li studied her face, looking for her reaction.

  “That sounds like wonderful news, husband,” Mei Ling replied. She went on, probing gently, “Though I sense concern in your spirit.”

  “I will have to leave very early every day except for Sunday to take the ferry to Oakland,” Kai Li said. “And I will return late, late.”

  “You won’t see us when we are awake?”

  “I wanted to miss nothing of her young life. Now I will miss everything.” He shook his head and sighed. He looked right at Mei Ling, his eyes telegraphing his confusion. “I’m sorry to burden you with my foolish desires. This opportunity is a blessing to our family, and I must be grateful.”

  “Husband, it isn’t foolish to want to know your own children.” Mei Ling was so very glad that he did. Hoping to cheer him up, she asked, “You will be home all day on Sundays?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that will be a day for family. A holiday once a week. Bo and Joy will have you then; that is more than so many fathers and children have.” Mei Ling thought of all the children in China whose fathers were living in the United States, only to be seen every few years, if at all.

  He pursed his lips, conflicting emotion on his face. They sat in silence, absorbing the bittersweet news.

  The new position meant that Kai Li left before the sun was shining and returned in utter darkness. He saw Joy when she woke in the night to feed, but Bo was asleep the entire time Kai Li was home—except on Sundays. Mei Ling hadn’t realized how helpful Kai Li was with the children until he was no longer around. They all missed his delicious and satisfying meals. He had occupied the children when she washed up in the communal bathroom down the hall. It had been a welcome time of solitude. But now it was one of the most stressful parts of her day—juggling the three of them in a small, damp space.

  She was lonely and exhausted; a soup of anger simmered below her surface. She regretted her childish feelings but couldn’t seem to overcome them. Kai Li was also exhausted and tense. Their savings grew but their spirits didn’t.

  On Sundays Kai Li slept, growling at the children if they disturbed his quiet. He didn’t even atte
nd worship. He grew thin and weak. After several weeks, Mei Ling couldn’t keep her concern to herself.

  “Husband,” she said to him one Saturday evening after he returned late, “you work hard to keep our family strong. Thank you. But we can’t be strong if our head is weak.”

  Kai Li glared at her. She’d never seen that look on his face.

  “Wife, you don’t know your place!” Kai Li scowled.

  Mei Ling replied, “I only have your well-being in my heart.”

  Kai Li sucked on his teeth with his tongue, making the clicking sound reserved for contempt. Then he walked out into the late night, leaving her alone with the sleeping children.

  Anger and worry burned in her. She hadn’t handled this delicate situation well. Rather than being a comfort or support to her husband, she had driven him away. Now he was furious with her. And she was lonelier than ever.

  Hours later, well into the early morning, the door opened. Mei Ling pretended to be asleep, curled up in protection. He came to her bedside and hovered over her. When the smell of alcohol hit her nostrils, her heart sank and her throat swelled. She felt his fingers tap at her shoulder. Her heart sped up. More taps. Still she didn’t move. Kai Li’s hand wrapped around her upper arm and shook her, not hard, but insistent. She could no longer pretend to be asleep. She opened her eyes, steeled for his anger.

  “Wife. I’m sorry for my emotional outburst,” he said. Mei Ling’s shoulders dropped and she exhaled.

  He truly looked remorseful. She sat up slowly. He sank to the bed.

  “I must work,” he implored. “But I’m too tired to be a kind husband and father.”

  “Husband,” Mei Ling whispered and took his hand. “You sacrifice too much. Can we move close to your work?”

  His head jerked up, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He looked as if she were making a lovely but impossible suggestion, like flying to the moon. His eyes moved from side to side as he considered the idea.

  “We have a lease,” he finally replied.

  “When does it end?” she asked.

  “Next year,” he replied. “We can move then.”

  “What is the penalty?”

  “Too much,” he replied. “One month’s rent.”

  “Husband, surely your health is worth one month’s rent.”

  He looked doubtful.

  She asked, “What will you save on the ferry?”

  “Ten cents a day,” he replied.

  That was a start, but not the equivalent of a month’s rent. “Perhaps rent is less in Oakland or Alameda?” she suggested.

  He looked like he was considering that idea.

  “Please, husband, will you find out?”

  “I will try,” he agreed, though he did not look confident. She smiled at him and touched his arm gently. He leaned in for an embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and held him against her body, glad to be past their conflict.

  CHAPTER 17

  San Francisco

  May 1924

  Only a few days later Kai Li came home before the sun had set. Clearly excited, he carried a pink box and placed it on the table with a flourish. He nodded to Bo, encouraging him to open it.

  “Cookies!” Bo exclaimed when he saw the small, white Western cookies and the sesame balls with red bean paste.

  “Wife,” Kai Li proclaimed like an excited child. “You are wise and kind.”

  Mei Ling laughed at the praise. Her husband’s joy was contagious.

  “I have found us a new home in Oakland. As you suggested it will cost less each month. Even with the penalty we will come out ahead,” Kai Li explained. “Even better, it’s only three blocks from the produce market.”

  “Oh, husband! That is wonderful news. I’m happy for you.” She beamed at him. “For us.”

  Though he didn’t fully understand their conversation, Bo picked up on their happiness. He clapped his hands and jumped up and down in pleasure.

  On Sunday morning movers put all of their belongings on a rickshaw. It was unnerving to trust their belongings to these strangers, but Kai Li had confidence in these men. But Mei Ling kept her most precious treasures with her: the items from her altar. She considered keeping the pots with the anemic peony and chrysanthemum stalks, but realized she was more likely to break them along the journey than the movers. Mei Ling also left a note in the mailbox with their new address, hoping that letters from China would find their way to her.

  They walked to the Ferry Building, Joy tied tight on Mei Ling and Bo holding her hand. The May air was perfect on her skin and the sun shone down on them. It was bitter to leave the room where Joy had been born, but oh so sweet to be heading to a new home. Mei Ling had already looked through her papers to find the note with June’s information. She would finally seek out her friend.

  They boarded the ferry to Oakland. Standing at the rail, they watched the bustle below. Goodbye, San Francisco. Mei Ling was surprised she had fond feelings for the place. She was going to miss her first American home.

  Once they sailed past Yerba Buena Island, Angel Island came into view to the left and her heart constricted. Siew’s sweet face popped into her mind, and her heart filled with yearning to confirm she was well. Once they were settled she vowed she would put greater effort into finding out what happened to the girl. Perhaps June would have ideas for how to find her.

  “Bo, there is Angel Island, where we . . .” were held captive, she thought, but said out loud, “stayed.”

  She looked across the bay. “And there is the tower. The Campanile. Remember?”

  Bo shook his head. Of course he didn’t remember. It was nearly a year since they had left the island.

  “Someday we are going to take a ride high up to the top of that tower. With our friends Siew and June,” she explained.

  Bo’s brows pulled inward; he was trying to remember. Then he shrugged and pointed to a seagull flying high above them. Mei Ling smiled and nodded.

  They landed at a long wooden dock that jutted far into the water. This side of the bay had hills like San Francisco, but they were farther in the distance and covered with trees, not buildings. The sun shone in a bright, cloudless sky. Mei Ling savored the noticeably warmer air.

  Kai Li led the family to a Key System train. It was filled with all kinds of people. She steeled herself for hostile or curious glances, but they didn’t draw any special attention. When Bo dropped his wooden rabbit, a Negro man in a dark-blue uniform handed it back with a smile as if it were totally ordinary for them all to be on the train together.

  They rode past the edge of a downtown with a few large buildings. Oakland felt like a city, but it was much less dense than San Francisco. As June had said, there were more trees and less people over here. They got off at Sixth and Webster Streets.

  This Chinatown had streets built wide to accommodate cars. The two- and three-story modern buildings had businesses at the street level with signs in English and Chinese, and apartments on the upper floors.

  Kai Li’s hand shook as he put the key in the lock at the front door. Mei Ling wondered if he was nervous or excited. Probably both. She vowed to act pleased no matter their new living conditions. They walked through a polished oak door up the stairs to the second floor. Mei Ling wouldn’t miss walking up four floors. He opened another door to reveal their apartment. A large room furnished with a simple brown couch and two stuffed chairs on one side, and a large table with six light wooden chairs on the other. Past the table she saw a kitchen through an archway. Mei Ling was confused.

  “There is no bed?” she asked, concern filling her voice though she’d meant to stay positive.

  Kai Li crossed through the living room and opened another door with a flourish. A room with two beds and a dresser.

  “A separate bedroom!” Mei Ling exclaimed in true delight.

  Kai Li nodded and said, “And look.”

  He walked to another door.

  Mei Ling gasped and a chill went down her back. Dumbfounded, she looked at Kai Li wi
th wide eyes.

  “Our own bathroom!” she exclaimed. “Husband, can we really afford this?”

  Kai Li looked so proud as he answered, “Yes, wife, we can.”

  “Mah-ma, look!” Bo’s voice came from the back of the bedroom.

  Mei Ling rushed to his side. He pointed out the window to a small backyard. She could plant a garden! The peony and chrysanthemum could come out of their pots and really take root. Mei Ling hadn’t felt so happy since the day of Joy’s birth.

  “Husband, you have found us a wonderful home.”

  Kai Li beamed.

  After they unpacked, they went out into their new neighborhood. Mei Ling’s heart sang in the lovely May day. It was sunny and warm with a slight breeze. They strolled down Webster Street across the railroad tracks to the produce district. The air was filled with the smell of rotten fruits and vegetables, even though the businesses were closed for their day of rest. Kai Li stopped in front of Johnson Produce.

  “This is where I select the best vegetables and fruits for my customers. Then I take my cart to Alameda.” He pointed down Webster Street. They walked three blocks to the water.

  An unusual bridge crossed the estuary between Oakland and Alameda. Two wide wooden docks on each shore were connected by a metal span.

  Cars and horse-drawn carts traveled in both directions down the middle of the bridge. Pedestrians crossed the span on the outer edges.

  Kai Li pointed. “It’s very crowded during the week. The metal section in the middle turns to allow the boats through. When it’s turned I must wait with the crowd until the boats pass and the bridge is complete again. Then we all rush to get to where we are going.”

  They strolled along the right side of the wooden dock. Bo let go of Mei Ling’s hand and ran toward the open edge. Fearing he would tumble into the water and be swept away by the tide, she rushed after Bo. Kai Li reached him first.

  “You must be very careful,” Kai Li chastised Bo.

  Kai Li kneeled by their son and pointed over the edge. He held Bo’s body steady while the little boy looked down at the murky water far below.