Paper Wife

by Laila Ibrahim

  A large bush sat by the sidewalk in front of the grand house. She parted the green foliage to place the stone, the peony, and the paper frog Siew had made so long ago for Bo. It was a simple altar, but it would provide some protection for the girl. Watch over her, she begged Quan Yin. There was no need to ask for an ancestor’s intervention; the ghost was the one demanding that Mei Ling remove Siew from peril.

  Then they walked to the park. Mei Ling wanted to talk to June to get her advice about the spirit.

  When the children were out of earshot, Mei Ling asked her friend, “Have you had any experiences with ghosts?”

  “No!” June’s voice drew out and her eyebrows furrowed. “Have you?”

  “I worry about Siew too much. Images of her in bad places come into my mind,” Mei Ling said. “I suspect a ghost is placing the thoughts there.”

  “Does it stop when Siew is with you?” June asked. “On Sundays?”

  Mei Ling nodded.

  “Then it is a ghost!” June declared, certainty filling her voice. “Her first mother. She probably push Siew to you on the boat.”

  “How do I make her leave me?” Mei Ling asked.

  “You give the ghost what she wants: save her daughter. She will help you. You make a good team, right? Just because you die, you don’t stop taking care of your children. She is a good mother, watching out for her daughter even after she is a ghost.”

  Mei Ling told no one else about the spirit, but she had found a way to quiet the voice of the ghost during the day. In the morning she and the children walked almost a mile to the house where Siew worked to leave an offering of a flower or food at the altar and ask Quan Yin to protect the girl.

  Then the frightening images would stay away until the night when there were no distractions to chase away the voice and the images. Mei Ling assured the spirit that she wouldn’t forget Siew, but still it haunted her sleep. Again and again she was startled awake by the image of Siew’s sweet face riddled with pain as she peered out from a metal cage, waiting for a stranger to claim her body for his pleasure.

  Her obsession was harming her health. Pervasive nausea was her constant companion. Fear was a shawl wrapped tight around her shoulders. She had no appetite and was exhausted. She forced herself to stay in bed all night in spite of the anxiety, and then she struggled to get out of bed in the morning to make tea for Kai Li before he went to work.

  She hoped to hide her nerves from Kai Li and the children, but she feared it was affecting her family’s harmony.

  She looked to the moon to connect with her grandmother, but that ritual and her prayers to Quan Yin didn’t work their usual soothing magic. For Bo and Joy she strove to seem calm, but even their cheerful spirits did little to assuage her undying panic. Her mood improved when Kai Li was home in the evenings, and she almost felt normal when Siew was with them on Sundays. But as soon as they parted from her, the fear and sorrow clawed at Mei Ling.

  She repeatedly assured herself they had time—Siew was only seven years old. But she feared that one day the girl would be traded away, like merchandise, without a trace. If Siew disappeared, Mei Ling would be haunted for the remainder of her life. They had to do something to assure her safety.

  One night she asked her husband, “Can you please go to the police?”

  Kai Li sighed. He knew what she was speaking about without asking. He came to her on the couch, sitting close, and shook his head. He was refusing her request. Her Dragon fire started to build.

  “Wife,” he said gently, “I don’t believe that will help the situation. The Oakland police have no concern for Chinese girls who might be harmed—someday.”

  Mei Ling’s fire simmered.

  He continued, “They won’t ask the Pardee family for Siew.”

  “Who?”

  “The man who owns the home where she lives is very powerful; he was the governor of California.”

  Mei Ling argued, “Prostitution is illegal; the newspaper rages against it constantly.”

  “Prostitution, yes, but she is only working in their home. The police aren’t concerned with what might happen to a little girl years from now,” he replied to her, kindly but firmly. “Even if I go to the police, and they agree to remove Siew from the Pardee home, do you believe they will simply bring her to us?”

  That is what Mei Ling imagined, but in the face of his question she was embarrassed to admit it. She shrugged.

  “They will put her on a boat to China,” Kai Li explained gently. “She most certainly is a paper niece with no right to stay in this country.”

  Mei Ling sucked in her breath as if she’d been hit in her stomach.

  “Nothing harmful is happening to her at this moment,” Kai Li soothed. “She has a warm, dry place to sleep and food to sustain her. That won’t be true if she is sent back to China.”

  Mei Ling sighed. He was right. The American police wouldn’t help them. The rage inside her melted away, replaced by despair.

  “I’m sorry, wife. We won’t give up on her, but I don’t know what we can do in this moment to secure her permanent release to us.”

  Mei Ling nodded and tried to offer him a reassuring smile, but her heart was so heavy it weighed down the muscles of her face.

  A foul mood settled upon her and caused her to be a rude wife and mother. Dreams of Siew crying for help disturbed her sleep, making her tired and impatient with the children. Too many mornings she woke up to find Kai Li gone already. She’d slept past the time to make him breakfast like a good wife should do, not rising to make tea. She was making their home so unpleasant, she was driving Kai Li away.

  More nights he came home late, returning after the sun had set like when they were in San Francisco, which made her have more time alone with the ghost. She prepared their evening meal to be ready to eat at the usual time, but it would be cold by the time he finally walked through the door. He attempted to eat it, but only managed to swallow a few bites.

  He couldn’t be peddling goods after dark. When she commented that he had been working too hard, hoping to get an explanation for his frequent absences, he deflected her observation. She looked for signs of an explanation—the smell of alcohol on his breath or the scent of perfume—but she only noticed the smell of garlic and ginger, leaving her with the suspicion he was eating in a restaurant before he came home.

  Mei Ling wanted to provide a cheerful home for her husband and children, but it was impossible with the angry ghost following her everywhere she went. The spirit now put disturbing thoughts about Kai Li into her mind in addition to haunting her about Siew. Maybe he is looking for a new wife . . . a better wife who can cook and be a kind and gentle companion like the Rabbit he was promised, not a raging Dragon like you.

  Weeks later Kai Li came home excited, looking like he had when he told her they were moving to Oakland. Perhaps he wanted to move again—this time to Alameda.

  “Wife, I have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” He smiled.

  She stared at him, confused and nervous. She wasn’t confident she would agree with his feelings. Alameda was too far from Siew. It would take her too long to walk to the altar each day.

  He chuckled, raising a fury in her chest.

  He clarified, “It’s an American saying. The bad news is I will be working in the evenings.”

  A pain shot through Mei Ling. She was going to have even more hours alone with the ghost and the children.

  “How late?” she whispered, working to keep the despair out of her voice.

  “I will be working as a cook, making dinner,” he replied.

  “In a restaurant?” Her heart quickened. She could fight the ghost on her own for his dream.

  He explained, “Not in a restaurant—a home. But I can bring you dinner each night; that is part of the good news.”

  “A home?” she questioned. He was becoming a domestic servant again. Mei Ling was confused. “That is good news?”

  He shook his head slowly. “The good
news . . . ,” Kai Li said, his voice drawing out in anticipation, “is that my cooking will earn Siew her freedom!” He stared at her, excitement shining in his eyes.

  Her heart quickened. “What? How?”

  “I have been going to the Pardee home in the evenings. First I spoke with Miss Haw, and talked my way into the kitchen. Fortunately they were in need of a better cook. I demonstrated my skills. After I won her over, she brought my food to the Pardees. They agreed they would like me as their dinner cook.” He grinned.

  A chill ran down her arms. “Oh, husband, that is wonderful news!” she exclaimed.

  “We can bring her to live with us tomorrow.”

  A surge of energy rushed through Mei Ling’s body. Siew would be here starting tomorrow! She threw herself at Kai Li and squeezed him tight.

  “Why would you do this, husband? For a child you hardly know?” she asked.

  “For your happiness, wife,” he declared.

  She studied his face. He was hiding something.

  “My happiness is your only motivation, husband?” she asked.

  A strange look filled his eyes. Sorrow? Uncertainty? He looked down, holding an argument in his mind. Finally he spoke, his voice tight with held-back emotion.

  “I was an indentured servant, and I wasn’t treated well.” The pain in his voice shot through Mei Ling. She waited for him to go on.

  When he didn’t speak she asked, “Where? When?”

  “San Francisco. When I was a boy, nine years or so. I’m not certain.”

  “But you came here when you were sixteen . . . and lived with your father,” she said, confused.

  He shook his head. “That is a falsehood . . . another lie.”

  Mei Ling’s Dragon roared. Without meaning to she’d believed the book and all that she learned from it. She was foolish for doing so. She started to speak out, then stopped herself before she caused harm. Her husband was offering Siew her freedom. She took a deep breath.

  He went on, looking as sad and afraid as she had ever seen him. “I was very young when the bandits came.” His voice was a tight whisper. She leaned in to hear him.

  “Five years, maybe. So little I still fit under the couch. That’s where I hid.” He stared off, his eyes glazed over as he spoke. “It happened so quickly I didn’t understand all I had lost until it was over. Though maybe it took a long time. I don’t know how long I hid on the ground, certain my mother would find me. But she didn’t. She couldn’t. When I finally crawled out they were so still. Lying there with the blood. I remember the blood. I don’t remember any sounds. Was it guns? Or a knife? I try to remember, but . . .”

  He looked at her, confusion on his face. “I can’t say how my whole family was killed. I’m ashamed that I didn’t pay more attention. It seems I should have cared more.”

  Tears streamed down Mei Ling’s face. She couldn’t stop them even if she tried. She imagined him, a little older than Bo, crawling out to find the still warm, utterly motionless bodies.

  “I . . . ah,” he stuttered. Mei Ling waited patiently, giving him room to continue. “A missionary found me. I went to an orphanage. When I was eight or nine I became a paper son, paid for with my own future labor.” Kai Li filled in more details. “Seven years I earned nothing but food and a place to sleep, my clothes the discards from the sons in the house.”

  He stopped. Mei Ling breathed in the information that explained so much. Pieces of a mystery fell into place. She imagined his loneliness and fear. And his determination to make a good life for himself, for his first wife, then for her, and for the children. He’d overcome so much by himself and somehow was still one of the kindest people she had ever known. Her heart swelled up in love.

  “Thank you for telling me, husband,” Mei Ling said, hoping he could hear the respect in her voice.

  “I don’t remember my full name. I cannot say what clan I am, but I’m not an Ox,” he said, looking pained. “My mother called me her little Rat.”

  “Rat,” Mei Ling smiled. “That is a good sign to be, husband. Resourceful, flexible, and kind.”

  “I suppose, though, perhaps not the best match for your Rabbit.” He looked at her. “I’m sorry I lied to you, wife.”

  Guilt sped up Mei Ling’s heart. He was being honest, and she was still deceiving him. She snorted without thought. Hurt crossed over Kai Li’s face. Despite her fear and embarrassment, it was time she showed him the same respect. She wouldn’t continue her charade.

  “Excuse me, husband. My outburst was . . . You have lied to me, yes. But I haven’t been entirely honest with you either.” A chill passed through her. “Our wedding was the first time I had ever been in a church,” she stated, staring at him, waiting for his reaction to her revelation.

  His lips turned up at the edges. “I could tell you didn’t know the liturgy when we first went.”

  “You don’t mind that I’m not a Christian . . . or was not?” she asked. “I’m beginning to be both.”

  “There is no harm in anything that brings us peace . . . and instruction for living.”

  She nodded. Relief soared through her to have finally spoken out loud about her combined faith. But she had a bigger secret from her husband. How could they be in harmony with her deception between them? She cleared her throat, took a deep breath, and steeled herself to make the confession that gnawed at her soul.

  “I’m not Yu Ling,” she said. Relief poured through her as she said her Jah Jeh’s given name.

  His eyebrows knit together.

  “That is my elder sister,” she explained. “My sister became too ill to travel the day after the contract was signed, but the matchmaker wouldn’t refund the dowry to my parents. She asked for me instead.”

  “Why hide the substitution?” Kai Li wondered.

  “The matchmaker convinced us you would reject me because we would be incompatible.”

  “Oh.” He leaned back as he understood the implication of what she was saying.

  Mei Ling swallowed hard and bit her lip, waiting anxiously for his response.

  “What is your name?”

  “I’m Mei Ling,” she told her husband.

  “Mei Ling,” he repeated. “That is a beautiful name.”

  Her skin tingled at the sound of her name in his voice. It had been so long since she’d heard her own name.

  “What are you?” he asked, curiosity filling his face. She knew what he meant.

  “A Dragon,” she said, a challenge in her voice.

  He laughed. “Of course you are a Dragon,” he replied. “I don’t know how I could have seen you as otherwise.”

  She studied his face, searching for his feelings about her revelation.

  “Wife, I’m sorry that our marriage was begun by lies. However, I’m relieved that I’m not the only one who has been deceitful . . . and I believe that Rats and Dragons make excellent companions.”

  She smiled at him. “That they do, husband.”

  He smiled back, gazing into her eyes. She saw love. And respect. He knew her name and the truth. The wall of lies that separated them fell way. Her spirit soared.

  Her husband accepted her and had found a way to fulfill her deepest desire: to rescue Siew. Her chest filled with love.

  She leaned in for an embrace and he wrapped her up in his arms. She savored the warmth and the strength of him. Mei Ling felt closer to him than even the night that Joy was born. And after the children were asleep, she showed him.

  CHAPTER 21

  Oakland

  August 1924

  The ghost woke Mei Ling up with a command: Get her now! Adrenaline surged through her veins. She sat up slowly, protecting the dreams of her family. Darkness hid the tree on the other side of the window. Not yet, she chastised the ghost. Soon, though. Very soon.

  Mei Ling tried to sleep again. She lay quietly, but dreams wouldn’t transport her away. Instead, she planned for this special day. Kai Li was going to rise at the usual time, get his produce, and then return with the cart.
All of them would walk to the Pardee mansion bearing bright oranges.

  She rose and put water on to boil. Mei Ling pulled out the remainder of the peony tea she had saved from China. She warmed up the jook—adding a little cinnamon in recognition that this was a special day.

  She dished the porridge out for Kai Li, placing his food on the table. Then she spooned out another portion to put on the altar along with an orange. She kowtowed in thanks and hope to their ancestors.

  On this morning, Kai Li knelt down beside her. When she finished her last bow, she looked over at him on the ground next to her. She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head before he rose and crossed to the table for his morning meal.

  By the time he returned with his daily portion of produce, she and the children were waiting on the sidewalk.

  The same White woman opened the door. Mei Ling bowed and held out four pieces of fruit. A genuine smile covered the woman’s face. She looked like she was holding back tears.

  Kai Li said, “Thank --- -- ----. -- --- --- --- -- ---- -- ---- ----- ---- --- ---------.”

  Be patient, Mei Ling told the ghost. She will be here soon. But Mei Ling felt the same urgency as the spirit. She wanted to see Siew too.

  The woman walked away and returned a few minutes later with Siew. The girl’s eyes opened in delight when she saw them. The little girl looked at the White woman, who nodded in approval.

  Siew looked back at their family and exclaimed, “We get to visit? Today isn’t Sunday!”

  Mei Ling’s heart skipped in excitement. She looked at Kai Li, who nodded at Mei Ling—wordlessly encouraging her to explain the good news.

  Mei Ling crouched down in front of Siew. She took her small ward’s hands and said, “Not just a visit. You get to come live with us!”

  Siew froze, her face going stony. Mei Ling’s heart sank. She’d assumed Siew wanted to live with them, but perhaps she was wrong.

  “-- -- ----?” Siew asked the housekeeper.

  “---, --- --- ---- ---- ----,” the woman replied.