Be Loved (At Last, The Beloved Series Book 3)

by Stella Starling

  “Mmmm, bigger,” David interrupted, elbowing Eli aside as they reached the kitchen and setting the wine down on the counter. “Sounds good to me.”

  Todd grinned. “That’s what she said.”

  “…and then she posted a selfie!” Eli, Clayton, and Melody chorused, laughing at what was obviously an inside joke that went right over Shane’s head.

  He laughed, too, because it was contagious, but he couldn’t help feeling a tad bit jealous that Todd, a newbie in their group of long-term friends, already seemed to fit in seamlessly. When had that happened?

  “You and Clayton can have the margarita glasses, David,” Shane said, pulling them down. “The rest of us will class it up and use water glasses.”

  “God,” Clayton teased with a shake of his head. “You’d think you and Peter would have joined the civilized world already. Wine glasses are a kitchen necessity. What’s next, you’ll tell me you don’t have a blender?”

  “Hello, margaritas,” Shane said, rolling his eyes. “Of course we have a blender.”

  Shane actually did own a decent set of wine glasses, but when he’d moved in with Peter, the place had already been fully furnished. Peter had suggested that Shane put most of his things in storage until they figured out how they wanted to blend their belongings. That had been two years ago. Eventually, Shane had stopped bringing it up, resigning himself to living with both Peter’s decor and his lack of wine glasses in the name of household harmony.

  Not that the lack of wine glasses was usually a problem, of course. Peter wasn’t inclined to entertain often.

  Ever, insisted the little voice of dissatisfaction that had been popping up more and more often lately.

  Shane did his best to ignore that voice. Peter loved him, and Shane had gotten used to his boyfriend’s eccentricities. Some were endearing, and the rest fell under that “relationships are about compromise” heading.

  “I’ll be sure to register for a new set of wine glasses once Peter and I get engaged,” Shane said. He mock-glared at his friends, adding, “And I expect you guys to splurge on the good ones.”

  His joking comment was met with a universal stillness that was a bit unnerving.

  “What?” he asked, laughing self-consciously. “Am I being greedy?”

  “Oh, love, are you actually planning on marrying Peter?” Melody asked, looking stricken.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” Shane retorted, feeling a bit defensive.

  First Brandon, and now everyone else. Honestly, he would have appreciated a bit more support from the people who cared about him. And, sure, he may have felt a little queasy when he’d found the ring receipt in Peter’s pocket, but that was just a normal case of premarital jitters. After all, like he’d told Brandon the day before, he’d always wanted to get married.

  And, really, it was the logical progression of their relationship.

  Besides, he and Peter would surely work out some of the kinks in their relationship if they made it permanent, wouldn’t they? He just needed to remember to appreciate that Peter’s high standards where just a reflection of the strength of his feelings about the permanence of true love like theirs. They were just a sign of Peter’s devotion and commitment, both of which were excellent qualities in a future husband.

  “You’re getting engaged? Maybe we didn’t bring enough wine,” David joked, dissipating some of the tension.

  “Let’s find out,” Eli said, grinning. He held out a hand imperiously. “Corkscrew?”

  Shane pulled the requested wine opener out of a drawer and handed it over, silently telling himself to relax as Eli pulled the cork out of the first bottle and made an exaggerated show of pouring and distributing the mismatched glasses. This was supposed to be a fun evening, but, so far, it felt like every other comment out of his friends’ mouths had some bite to it.

  Wine would help, though.

  Kris, Eli’s current man-candy, leaned comfortably against the counter, taking in his surroundings. “This is a really nice place,” he said. “Eli mentioned you make jewelry, Shane? I might need to look into that if it lands you something like this.”

  It was a gorgeous house, but the idea that Shane’s budding Etsy shop might be responsible for it made him laugh. Peter brought in fantastic money doing some kind of freelance technical work with computer code that Shane didn’t even pretend to understand. The house and everything in it were all his.

  “Allen Designs is the one good thing that’s come of you leaving us at the restaurant,” Clayton said, referring to Shane’s Etsy shop. He pulled his sleeve back, showing off the hand-crafted leather and ceramic bracelet David had commissioned Shane to make for his birthday earlier that year. “Shane’s a genius.”

  Shane grinned, taking the compliment, but then felt compelled to add, “It was actually Peter who suggested I quit Opulence and work from home full-time. He wanted me to spend my time doing something I loved, and I’m really grateful for his support.”

  At first, when Peter had suggested that Shane quit his job at Opulence to focus on building the little Etsy store he’d started on a whim, Shane had protested. He’d always paid his own way, and, even though he had a sizable life-insurance settlement in the bank from his parents’ deaths, the thought of dipping into it while he got his online business off the ground had made him nervous. Peter had insisted that he didn’t mind covering their joint expenses until Allen Designs took off, though, and eventually he’d worn Shane down.

  Working with leather was Shane’s passion, and crafting jewelry was rewarding in ways he’d never imagined. He wasn’t making a full-time salary yet, but he was getting close. The Christmas season had treated him well, and with a little more effort come the next quarter, he was sure he’d be able to start seriously contributing toward their household finances by spring.

  “This Peter sounds like a great guy,” Kris said, sipping his wine. Clayton snorted and mumbled something under his breath, but Kris didn’t seem to notice. “Did you meet him on bLoved?”

  “No?” Shane blinked, not sure what Kris meant. “Uh, he actually came to fix some computer network issues I was having at my old apartment. Everything kind of snowballed from there.”

  “Aha,” Kris said, grinning and throwing Eli a look that Shane couldn’t decipher. “So your match hasn’t been bLoved-approved.”

  Eli snorted, shaking his head. “You give that site way too much credit, Kris.”

  “Hey, I agree with Kris. bLoved is pretty spot on,” David interjected, leaning back against Clayton while he sipped from his own glass.

  “Oh?” Eli asked playfully, grinning at the long-time couple. “You two try it out? Looking to add some zest to your love life? Switching to an open relationship? Getting bored with each other?”

  David rolled his eyes. “There’s more to bLoved than finding someone new. Have you ever done the quizzes? They’re a hoot. Not to mention that they have great tips on keeping a relationship… healthy.”

  Eli’s grin widened. “You mean the sex positions? I don’t need any tips there, thanks.”

  “Gay sex positions?” Todd tilted his head to the side thoughtfully, squinting as if he was trying way too hard to picture it.

  Melody smacked him, laughing.

  “What, babe?” Todd asked, grabbing her hand and bringing it to his lips. “I’m sure there are some transferable skills to be learned. After all, it’s guy on guy, so wouldn’t they know what feels good—”

  “What’s ‘beloved’?” Shane asked, having mercy on Melody when her face started to turn an alarming shade of red by cutting off her boyfriend mid-sentence.

  “It’s a gay dating site,” Melody answered, laughing. “Even I know that, Shane. Where have you been, under a rock? Come on.”

  She pushed away from the kitchen counter, making a beeline for the small desk in the corner of the living room. The computer Peter kept there was old, but it still ran; he kept the newer model locked in his office. Shane didn’t use that one, since it was tied to Peter’s work,
but the one in the living room worked just fine for managing his Etsy business.

  Melody bumped the mouse, waking the screen, then tapped something out on the keyboard. Her wine glass tilted precariously in one hand, and Shane’s stomach clenched as he watched the red wine slosh alarmingly high in the glass.

  He lurched forward, plucking it out of her hands and placing it safely on the desk, away from the keyboard. Peter would kill him if it got on the carpet… not to mention that explaining the stain would require either lying, something Shane had always been horrible at, or admitting that he’d had friends over while Peter had been out of town.

  Everyone crowded around the desk, chatting about the fun they’d each had using bLoved. An old love song swelled from the computer’s speakers as the website loaded onscreen. It had always been one of Shane’s favorites—the Etta James version of “At Last”—and he silently mouthed the words as his friends started pointing out features of the site.

  Shane didn’t really see how a dating site was relevant to him, and he let his thoughts drift with the lyrics. The last verse in this particular song had always made him think of Brandon. He grinned, wondering what down-to-earth Brandon would say if Shane were to ever admit that little bit of mushy sentimentality.

  Probably nothing.

  In fact, Brandon probably wouldn’t even remember the moment that the lyrics brought to mind for Shane. And, even if he did, he certainly wouldn’t have seen it through the same lens that Shane had.

  Shortly after Shane had moved to Chicago, he and Brandon had been paired up to do some kind of dissection in biology class. Their teacher—a skinny, loud-voiced woman with bright red hair whose name he couldn’t recall—had been madly in love with science, and she’d always used the phrase make the magic happen when it was time for them to do lab work.

  At the time, Shane had thought her enthusiasm was kind of hokey, and that particular phrase had always made him roll his eyes. But then—despite the fact that he’d had a boyfriend at the time, not to mention that he’d been mistakenly convinced that Brandon was straight—just as they’d been about to start their first lab together, Brandon had turned and smiled at him, and bam! Just like the song said.

  He smiled… he smiled… and the magic had happened.

  Spell cast.

  Shane pushed the thought away, feeling vaguely disloyal to Peter even though his infatuation with Brandon had long since grown into the love of friendship… which, of course, had been his only option back when he’d assumed Brandon was straight.

  And when Brandon had shocked him a few years ago by coming out…

  Shane pushed that thought away too. He wasn’t going to go there, since—once and for all—this night was supposed to be fun.

  Shane loved Brandon as a friend, and—even if Brandon hadn’t seen fit to trust Shane with such a basic, integral fact about himself during the years and years and years of their friendship that he’d spent in the closet—well, Shane had already decided that he wasn’t going to let it affect anything. Brandon was the best person he knew, and if he hadn’t chosen to share every little thing about himself with Shane, that was his right.

  They had separate lives, after all, and Shane hadn’t exactly shared everything with Brandon, either. Especially not when it came to any hurt feelings about Brandon’s secrecy, which he was most definitely over now.

  Or his deeper hurt feelings… the ones that stemmed from all that magic so clearly being one-sided.

  “We need to take this compatibility quiz, babe,” Melody said to Todd, almost spilling her wine again as she gestured toward the bLoved website onscreen.

  The near-miss jolted Shane out of his little pity-fest, and he grabbed for her glass again. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed when she’d picked it back up.

  “Maybe you should switch to white, Mel,” he half-joked, setting it down on the desk again.

  “You want to take a gay compatibility quiz, Melody?” Todd asked her, laughing. “I hate to break it to you, but we’re not gay.”

  “Love is love,” Melody said dismissively. She turned to David. “Besides, isn’t this the quiz you and Clayton took?”

  “Yep, that’s the one,” David said, grinning. “It nailed our relationship, too. Said we were eighty-eight percent compatible, and it described the way we fit together to a T.”

  Shane laughed. “Eighty-eight percent? That sounds more like science than romance.”

  “Science is romantic,” Melody insisted, pushing her glasses up higher on her nose as she got a dreamy look in her eye.

  Shane stifled a laugh. Melody hadn’t thought it was hokey at all back when Mrs. Whatever-Her-Name-Had-Been had talked about making the magic happen.

  He stepped away from the computer, waving them toward the couch. “Speaking of which, I want to hear all about this dream job you landed at Adler Planetarium, Melody,” he said.

  “Oh, God,” David muttered, shaking his head as he claimed one-half of the love seat.

  “Don’t get her started,” Eli said, laughing.

  “Science nerds are so sexy,” Todd said, looking down at Mel like she was the whole world.

  Shane grinned, deciding he liked Todd. Melody deserved someone like that.

  “You’ve totally got to come out to Adler sometime when I’m working, Shane,” Melody said, lighting up.

  She leaned one hip against the desk, bLoved forgotten, and launched into an enthusiastic account of astronomy facts that went way over Shane’s head. But with the wine flowing and his friends laughing around him, that really didn’t matter. The night filled up the too-long neglected part of him that had always thrived on being around people he cared about, melting away—for the moment—the undercurrent of discontent that he’d been feeling more and more often lately.

  It was after midnight when the last of his friends left, but Shane didn’t feel even remotely tired. He’d always been more of a night person, anyway, and, as he locked up the house after seeing them off, he reminded himself that there was no need to force himself to get up early the next day since Peter was gone.

  He headed into the kitchen to tidy up, pouring the last bit of wine from an open bottle into a glass, then headed to the little desk in the living room. He was feeling happy and wired after letting off steam with his friends, and he figured he might as well finish going through his open Etsy orders before going to bed.

  The screen came to life, still logged into the bLoved website, and Shane grinned, thinking of some of the stories his friends had shared. Even Eli, for all his eye-rolling, had gone a bit fanboy talking about some of the features of the dating service.

  Melody had left it open on the compatibility quiz that she’d mentioned David and Clayton taking, and Shane’s eyes skimmed over the intro.

  So you think you’ve found a match? He’s hot, you’re horny, and your finger is hovering over HELL, YES! on his profile. Our suggestion? Do this first. bLoved’s compatibility algorithms can help you find your forever… or warn you off if the future looks grim. Your man, your call, but hey, it never hurts to start with your eyes wide open.

  The first compatibility question was listed underneath, a cursor blinking patiently next to the answer section.

  Do you have any friends in common?

  Shane laughed, thinking of the night he’d just spent. It never would have happened if Peter had been home. Not only had they not had friends in common back when they’d first met, but Peter had never meshed with Shane’s.

  “Um, no,” he said out loud, clicking the corresponding answer onscreen. The site immediately prompted him with the next question:

  Do you share common interests and hobbies?

  “Sure.”

  Shane moved the mouse over to the Yes checkbox, then hovered the cursor there without clicking. Honestly, what he and Peter shared might better be expressed as Shane pushing himself to take an interest in Peter’s interests, since, again, relationships were about compromise. Peter wasn’t hom
e to look over his shoulder at the moment, though, so Shane slid the cursor to the left, feeling a little defiant as he clicked the No box instead.

  He finished the rest of the questions in the first set and then the site gave him two options:

  Click HERE to check your compatibility with a new man or HERE to see how well you fit with the one you’ve already got.

  Shane clicked.

  “Does he insist on knowing who all of your friends are?” he read out loud. “Yes.” And then, “How many times a day does he check in with you when you’re apart? Um, four? Five?”

  Question by question, Shane continued down the list, answering honestly. The further he went, though, the more disquieted he felt. Even though the wording of the quiz seemed neutral enough, it was pretty easy to tell that there were still “right” and “wrong” answers. And, so far, every one of Shane’s answers was skewed toward wrong.

  Was this site even real?

  It was pretty obvious that none of his friends were huge fans of Peter. Had they tried to set him up?

  Shane leaned back in his chair, releasing the mouse in favor of his wine glass. He took a drink, narrowing his eyes at the screen as the next question blinked at him tauntingly. Peter loved him. He took care of Shane and looked out for him and took an interest in his life. It wasn’t really Peter’s fault that he was sometimes a bit clingy and that he wanted to keep Shane all to himself. Peter had had his own share of bad luck with men before the two of them had met, and he’d told Shane time and again how lucky the two of them were to have found each other.

  How many of his friends do you know?

  Peter wasn’t really one for close friendships. He’d told Shane that he preferred to focus his attention on one relationship at a time, preferably a romantic one. Shane swallowed, clicking None.

  “Does he deliberately shut you out or ignore you?” Shane’s lips pursed as he clicked Yes. That was pretty much Peter’s standard reaction whenever he didn’t get his way.

  Have family or friends expressed concern about your relationship?

  Yes.

  Does your boyfriend consult you before making important decisions?