Be Loved (At Last, The Beloved Series Book 3)

by Stella Starling

  Gabe slung an arm around Jake’s shoulders, tugging him out of the way and sweeping a hand toward the door. “Not if we don’t let them go get their gay on, Jakey.”

  “Shut up, Gabe,” Shane said, grinning. He gave Gabe a quick hug, then nodded at Jake. “Nice to meet you, Jake.”

  “You too, you lucky dog. Don’t even get me started on how long it’s been since I’ve gotten laid.”

  Shane laughed, and Brandon pulled him outside, closing the door on the sound of his brother giving Jake a hard time. He looked around the quiet neighborhood as he ushered Shane toward the car.

  Nothing looked out of place.

  As soon as they were settled in the car, Shane fished out his old phone, handing it over without looking at it, his laughter from a few moments before replaced by a tight, pinched look that Brandon hated to see.

  Fucking Peter.

  He hit the home button, bringing the phone to life. Fourteen new messages going back over the last two hours, all from Peter. The earlier ones were the same as always, declaring Peter’s sick version of his undying love and his assurances that he and Shane would be together again soon, but then the tone changed.

  My patience is running out, Shane. You can’t hide behind your cop friend forever. We’re meant to be together.

  How on earth Peter convinced himself this was “love” was beyond Brandon, but the bigger issue wasn’t just how out of touch with reality Peter was, but what he planned on doing about it.

  I found you, Shane. You don’t need to spend time with that family. They’re against our love. You need to leave.

  That one was time-stamped just half an hour prior, and Brandon jerked his head up, looking around again. The dark street was quiet, falling snow obscuring his view, and he wondered just what Peter meant by “I found you.” Was he tracking the phone, or was it something more sinister?

  Leave, Shane. I’ve put up with you ignoring me, but that’s over. Leave the Byrne house. NOW.

  That one had come less than ten minutes after the previous one.

  Brandon Byrne is keeping you from me, isn’t he, baby? Brandon, did you take his phone? I know my Shane wouldn’t disobey me, but if you won’t answer me here, I’ll find another way to reach you, cop.

  The phone vibrated in Brandon’s hand, a new one coming through:

  My patience is ending, baby. I don’t like what Brandon Byrne is doing to us. You won’t be allowed to stay with him anymore.

  And then:

  If you’re still in his home tomorrow, there will be consequences.

  Brandon’s gut clenched. Enough was enough. He started the car, pulling away from the curb.

  “What did he have to say?” Shane asked in a tight voice, glancing at the phone Brandon was still holding as if it might bite him.

  Brandon swallowed, not wanting to scare Shane but knowing it wasn’t his place to withhold the truth, either. “I’ll tell you when we get home, honey,” he said. “Can you give me a minute to think through some options?”

  Shane nodded, reaching out to tangle his fingers with Brandon’s tightly, but otherwise staying silent.

  Brandon hadn’t wanted to pick Peter up on simple harassment charges before now because he was worried that they wouldn’t stick, but—with that last message sounding like a clear threat—he couldn’t afford to wait anymore.

  With Shane’s phone as evidence, he’d take Peter in.

  And he would find a way to hold him, one way or another, until they could get whatever other evidence they needed in the Kelly Davis harassment case to prosecute him on something that would guarantee he stayed out of their lives for a good, long time.

  Brandon swallowed—hard. For Shane’s safety, and given Peter’s mental state and his delusions about Shane’s feelings for him, Brandon didn’t see that he had any choice but to move Shane out of his apartment until that happened. Peter had just referred to “consequences,” and the threat he’d made when Brandon had gone to his house rang in his ears. He’d made it clear that if he couldn’t have Shane, he didn’t want anyone else to, either.

  And when pushed…

  …I’ll kill you. I’ll kill him…

  A part of Brandon wanted to track Peter down immediately and turn that threat right around, but he ruthlessly shoved his personal feelings aside. He’d deal with Peter later. Right now, he had to focus on his number one priority.

  Protecting Shane.

  He’d need to find a place for Shane to stay where Brandon knew he could ensure his safety, but that Peter wouldn’t see as a threat. He had to make sure Peter continued to believe that Brandon and Shane weren’t together until he actually had Peter in custody. He’d already decided to do whatever was necessary to keep the man he loved safe… even if that meant giving him up.

  And even if the thought of it just about killed him.

  Chapter 18

  Shane

  Shane blinked, staring at Brandon in shock. Surely, he hadn’t heard him correctly.

  “You want me to leave?” he asked, forcing the words out of his suddenly too-dry mouth, barely able to hear them over the pounding of his own heart.

  “No,” Brandon said immediately, pulling him into his arms. That was more like it. “I never want you to leave, Shane.”

  But then Brandon took a deep breath, backing away but keeping hold of Shane’s shoulders.

  “Listen to me, Shane,” he said, staring into his eyes.

  Shane could easily read the turmoil in Brandon’s beautiful blue ones, and, for the zillionth time, he wished he wasn’t the cause of so much trouble for the man he loved.

  “If you don’t want to go, I will keep you safe,” Brandon promised. “No matter what. But Peter’s messages tonight have my Spidey-senses tingling, and not in a good way. I think he’s losing it, and that—” he used his chin to gesture toward Shane’s old cell phone, tossed on the credenza just inside Brandon’s front door, “—is a clear threat. I don’t want you to go—ever, Shane—but I think that, temporarily, it might be the best way to keep you safe.”

  Shane swallowed, not liking the idea one bit. He could see what Brandon was saying, though. Once they’d gotten back to Brandon’s apartment, he’d steeled his nerves and read through the messages Peter had sent that night. Knowing Peter the way he did, it was all too easy to perceive the escalating anger in them; all too easy to imagine Peter’s “love” flipping on its head and becoming something much darker.

  Peter had always become unreasonable when something set him off—when the tight rein that he usually kept on his emotions snapped—but, this time, Peter really did seem to be going off the deep end with his delusions about their relationship.

  He couldn’t seem to grasp that Shane was never going back to him.

  And if Peter suddenly realized that Shane was in love with Brandon? Shane shuddered. Brandon was concerned about Peter following through on his threats against Shane, but Shane’s fears were different.

  He believed Brandon utterly when Brandon said that he’d protect him, but he wasn’t at all sure that Brandon—with his good heart and compassionate nature and giving, selfless spirit—would truly be prepared if someone as twisted as Peter went after him.

  And if Peter hurt Brandon? Shane wouldn’t be able to stand it.

  “I’ll go,” he said, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

  “Oh, honey,” Brandon said, pulling him close again. “I hate this. I hate it more than I can ever tell you, but I promise that it will be over soon.”

  “How soon?” Shane asked, even though he knew there was no way Brandon could give him a real answer.

  “I’m hoping less than twenty-four hours,” Brandon said, doing that lovely back-rubbing thing that always made Shane want to melt. “After the threat he made tonight, I just want to make sure that whatever method he’s using to track you will show him that you aren’t with me. That seems to be the thing that sets him off.”

  “He knows I love you.”

  Brandon’s arms tightened a
round him. “I hope not, Shane. I really hope he doesn’t get that. But if he sees you go to Mel’s, I think it will pacify him for a little longer. And then? I’m going to make sure the paperwork is ironclad, and I’m going to go pick him up and take him in.”

  Shane nodded. “Just do it right, Brandon, okay? Even if it takes a little longer.” Shane swallowed, the words tasting sour in his mouth, even though he knew it would be worth it. “Do it so he doesn’t bother us anymore.”

  “That’s the plan,” Brandon said, smiling sadly. “Sometimes you do the thing you hate to get the result you want, right?”

  “What is that, one of those stupid Army things they tell you when they’re about to make you miserable?”

  Brandon laughed, but didn’t deny it.

  “Well, I definitely hate this,” Shane said, doing his best to smile back and quell all the parts inside him that wanted to change his mind and beg to stay. He kissed Brandon—the perfect way to guarantee that his mouth was otherwise occupied—and put everything in his heart into it. Brandon wasn’t talking about forever, so there was no reason other than nerves to feel so dire about the whole thing, right?

  “I really love you, you know,” he said, breaking the kiss. “You tell me that all the time, but I don’t think I tell you enough. Just so there’s no misunderstanding, though, I want it all, Brandon. I’d love to become a Byrne, if you’ll have me, and, someday, I want to make your mother happy by adopting a bunch of babies with you. I want us to buy that house you talk about together, and I want us to get old and wrinkled together, and I want to still be crowing about my Star Fox champion title when all those babies are grown up and roll their eyes at us, acting like our vintage N64 is like a, um, cassette tape or… or… a pager from the nineties or something. I want it all, Brandon, and I’m kicking myself for wasting these last ten years, and I hate Peter for making me waste any more time, even if it does turn out to be only another twenty-four hours.”

  “You can have it all except the Star Fox champion title,” Brandon said, grinning at him.

  Shane laughed. “Shut up.”

  Brandon kissed him, still smiling against his lips. “You can have everything. I promise.”

  “Okay,” Shane said, nodding once, briskly. He wanted it to be true—wanted their future to unfold as smoothly and easily as their love had—but a small part of him was scared that somehow, some way, Peter would mess it up for him. That he’d turn out to have something up his sleeve.

  Something that would get in the way of that forever.

  Shane took a breath, squaring his shoulders. He was so fucking tired of being scared of Peter. Scared of what he’d do and how he’d react and what might happen if Shane stepped out of the narrow lines he’d drawn. He was tired of all the ways—large and small—that Peter had controlled his life and his choices and his emotions over the last two years.

  Tired of letting him.

  “We probably don’t need to pack up all your stuff,” Brandon said. “Maybe just enough for a day or two at Mel’s. Let Peter see that you’re taking your suitcases with you, in case he’s watching.”

  And wasn’t that a creepy thought?

  But whatever. Like Brandon had said, Shane would do whatever he needed to, to get to the other side, to get to the result he wanted. But, for once, he was going to do it on his terms, not Peter’s.

  “Come on,” he said, grabbing Brandon’s hand and heading down the hall. Instead of turning toward the guest room where he still kept his things, though, he pulled Brandon into Brandon’s bedroom and pushed him down on the bed.

  “Shane…” Brandon said, raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing, honey?”

  “I’m not letting him win,” Shane said, pulling his shirt over his head and then getting to work on his belt. “I’ll go, but I’m not going until I’m ready, Brandon. And you can be damn sure that I’m coming back when it’s finally over.”

  Brandon’s lip curved up in a half-smile that made him look ridiculously sexy, and he reached down to adjust himself. “Shane, you’ve gotta know that you’re tempting me, but I’m not sure that this is the right time for that.”

  “That’s what Peter thinks,” Shane said as he finished undressing. He reached for Brandon’s shirt, and Brandon instantly raised his arms to make it easier for Shane, making Shane smile.

  He was pretty sure that somewhere down the line, sometime during all that “forever” he was banking on having with Brandon, they’d end up having the normal types of arguments that couples always did. But, as far as he could remember, Brandon had never actually fought with him about anything… video games notwithstanding. And it wasn’t that Brandon was a pushover or that he let Shane walk all over him, it was just that Brandon’s kind of love meant that Shane’s happiness was Brandon’s happiness, too.

  Shane’s hand started to shake as he tossed Brandon’s shirt aside, and, to his dismay, he felt the hot prick of tears start in his eyes again.

  Immediately, Brandon’s arms were around him. “What is it, Shane?” he asked, pulling Shane onto his lap.

  “I know you’re right. It’s not the right time, but… I can’t let Peter take this away from us. I was such a fool for not letting you know how I felt from the beginning.”

  Despite everything, the feel of Brandon’s arms tightening around him made Shane feel like all was right in the world.

  “From the beginning?” Brandon laughed. “You mean, way back when we were seventeen?”

  Shane nodded. “I should have seen right through your supposed straightness.”

  Brandon smiled, brushing Shane’s hair back from his face. “You had a boyfriend, if I remember correctly.”

  “I don’t care,” Shane said stubbornly. “I wanted you anyway, and I know that makes me sound like a bad person, but the first time you smiled at me—”

  Brandon cut him off with a kiss. “It was the same for me. It still is.”

  “God, Brandon, we wasted so many years.”

  Brandon shook his head. “The past is the past, and there’s no going back, but we have our whole future, and that’s a blessing I wouldn’t trade for anything… please don’t cry.”

  “You’re too good to me,” Shane said, trying to stop.

  “You deserve it,” Brandon said, which only made him cry harder. “You deserve everything good, honey. I want to give you all of it. I think it’s what I’m meant for.”

  Shane scrubbed at his face. God, he was acting like he was never going to see the man again, but he refused to think that way. Brandon was right about their future, but right now, Shane was wasting too much of their limited present with his tears.

  Enough already.

  “I love you,” he said, refusing to cry again. “And, in just a bit, I’m going to leave, but I’m going to trust that we’ll be together again soon.”

  “We will be.”

  Shane nodded. “But right now, Brandon, if I don’t have this—” he squirmed around on top of Brandon’s lap, turning to face him and then pushing him down onto his back, straddling him, “—then he wins, can you see that? He wants to separate us, but I want to be as close to you as possible.”

  “You are, Shane,” Brandon said, running his hands over Shane’s thighs, up his sides, making him shiver. He reached for Shane’s hand, pulling it down to rest over his heart. “You’re as close as possible, because you’re in here.”

  Shane blinked rapidly, willing himself not to cry again. This was not the time for that. Instead, he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss against that mouth that kept saying such sweet things.

  “I know,” he said, meaning it. He rocked his hips, pressing down on the thickness he could feel through the rough material of Brandon’s jeans. “But right now, I want you in here, too.”

  Brandon laughed, but Shane could already tell that he wouldn’t argue… and not just because of the growing hardness he felt underneath him, but because, just like always, Brandon was going to give Shane exactly what he needed.

  Shane
moved off him, leaning across the bed to grab a condom and lube as Brandon made quick work of his jeans.

  “I don’t want this to be sad sex, okay?” Shane said. “There’s nothing sad about what happens between you and me. You’re the best thing in my life, and I—”

  To his horror, tears welled up again and spilled over, even though what he’d said was true. Every moment with Brandon was one of the best of his life, and he’d never been happier than during their time together.

  Brandon wiped the tears away, kissing him softly. “No sad sex,” he agreed, smiling. “Let me take care of you, Shane.”

  Brandon laid him down on the bed and covered Shane’s body with his own, blocking out the rest of the world. Even though Shane wanted this—had been the one to instigate it—the anxious part of him still felt like they needed to hurry.

  Brandon, though, seemed to have taken him at his word.

  Despite the fact that his cock was lying thick and heavy between them, he seemed to have reverted to his usual, epically patient self. He was kissing Shane as if that was the only thing he had to do, as if nothing else existed, and, after a while, he made it true.

  It was just the two of them, and Shane’s worries and fears disappeared, crowded out by other, better things. Love, cocooning him like a blanket, wrapped around him like a shield… and heat, delicious and decadent, coiling inside him and burning away everything but the present moment… and then, after an endless, timeless slice of forever, a growing urgency.

  “Brandon,” he said, grinning against his lover’s mouth. “Um…”

  Brandon laughed, reaching between them to wrap his hand around Shane’s erection. “This?”

  “Exactly.”

  “I was wondering when you’d notice it,” Brandon said, nipping at Shane’s jaw. “It’s been poking me for a while now.”

  Shane tried to laugh, but Brandon was licking his way down his neck while his hand got to work, and the laugh ended up sounding a lot more like oh-please-oh-yes.