Finding Forever (Meet the McIntyres Book 5)

by Rebecca Barber

  I couldn’t help myself. “Look, ladies, I know I’m cute, but Carly, we’ve been over this. My brother would kick my ass if he heard you talking about how much better looking I am than he is.” I winked at Zoe and she blushed.

  “And that’s my cue to get out of here. Holly, want to come annoy the boys?”

  “Hell yeah!”

  A second later they’d vanished, and Zoe and I were left alone. “They’re not really subtle, are they?” Zoe asked, standing up. I loved how casual she looked. She was simple and gorgeous. Jeans that hugged every single one of her curves. A thin blue sweater that showed off the perfect handful of boobs, and a pair of black boots that gave her a hint of bad girl. It was the gloss on her lips though that had me stuttering. I was dying to kiss it off her just to get another taste. It was safe to say I was addicted.

  “They’re about as subtle as a freight train.”

  Lachlan gurgled, and I spotted him lying in the centre of the rug on the lounge room floor, kicking his legs happily. “Oh sorry. I hope you don’t mind. He just wanted to wriggle for a bit.”

  Zoe looked worried, and that was the absolute last thing I wanted. I wanted her happy and comfortable around me. Unable to stop myself, I reached out and took her hand. “He’s fine. If he’s happy, I’m good.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I just need five minutes and then I’ll be ready to head out.”

  “No worries. I’ll stay with him and let him kick.”

  As quick as I could, I headed into the kitchen to see what kind of trouble my family had created for me. Opening the picnic basket, I almost forgave them for their nosy, gossiping ways. Homemade salads, fresh crusty rolls, delicious scones…which from touching the container I could tell were still warm, and juicy strawberries.

  After throwing in a couple of bottles of water and some juice, I grabbed the basket, a blanket Holly had set out, and my stuff. “You ready?”

  I rounded the corner to see Zoe squatting down on her knees on the rug talking to Lachlan like he could understand her. And she wasn’t talking in that ridiculous babbling baby talk either. If you’d only heard them, you’d be forgiven for thinking she was talking to an adult. When she rose to her feet, picking him up and settling him on her hip, I fought back the groan. It’d been a couple of days since I’d seen her and already I was struggling with how good she looked.

  “We’ll take my car.” I headed in that direction, hoping she’d follow.

  “Lachlan’s seat…”

  “I’ve taken care of it.”

  Even with the surprise on her face, Zoe quietly let me lead her to my ute. Without arguing, she buckled Lachlan into the brand new car seat and stuffed his bag on the floor before settling herself in the front silently. After putting the basket in the back, I jumped in and we were off. As we bumped down the driveway, I realised how normal this was. It was like a family outing. The only problem was, Zoe and Lachlan weren’t my family.

  It wasn’t until we were out on the highway before Zoe started asking where we were headed. “You’ll see when we get there,” I taunted her.

  “You’re annoying! You know that, right?”

  “Sweetheart, you have no idea.”

  As we got closer my nerves grew. No one knew where we were headed. Although it seemed like everyone knew Zoe and I were out for the day, no one had any idea what I was about to do. Regret flooded me. I found myself wishing Ryan was here. If this went badly again, he was too far away to save my ass. All I could do now was hope that I didn’t need saving.

  Slowing down, I reached over and took Zoe’s hand, hoping she wouldn’t pull away as I turned into the gravel parking lot. As I shut off the engine, I looked over at Zoe. She was pale and looking like she might throw up any moment. She bit down on her lip and I squeezed her hand.

  “I want to show you.”

  “W-w-why?”

  “I need to.”

  Behind us, Lachlan had fallen asleep and was snoring softly, while we sat there in silence staring at the blank sign above the door, hands tangled together.

  I wasn’t sure I could stomach any more surprises.

  My heart was in my throat.

  Last time I’d walked through those doors, Jenna had died. I wasn’t sure I was ready to go back in there. But the way Connor was looking at me, I didn’t want to let him down. He’d already committed so much. The guy didn’t even have a kid, yet he had the deluxe car seat all set up, ready to go. It was intimidating.

  “Do you want to go inside?”

  Honestly, I wasn’t sure. In fact, I’d rather be anywhere else, but I was too stubborn to give in. I needed to do this. No matter how much I didn’t want to, I was going in. Not trusting my voice, I nodded weakly. With Lachlan’s capsule in one hand, his other wrapped around mine, Connor led us up to the front doors.

  So much had changed.

  As I stumbled on the steps, I didn’t hear the familiar squeak. Not surprising, really. The floorboards had all been replaced and freshly stained. Dropping my hand, Connor dug a key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

  “Where’d you get that?” I asked, realising for the first time he had access. Why it’d never crossed my mind before I had no idea. I guess I’d been focused on other things.

  He shrugged as he held open the door for me. “Ryan.”

  Of course.

  This time when I’d walked inside I wasn’t about to go into full meltdown mode and paused to look around.

  It was incredible.

  Gone was the dust and dirt, and in its place was the scent of lemon hung on the air. There were no signs of cobwebs dangling from corners, either. All traces of birds and other creepy crawlies had been removed. Each wall was a different shade of blue, and the red vinyl booths were sparkling.

  Trailing my fingers across the empty shelves, my mind started reeling. Remembering. I’d spent years here, yet everything felt different somehow. Fresh. New again. I didn’t hate it.

  Connor set Lachlan down on one of the tables before coming back to where I was standing, my mouth hanging open. “Will you come with me?”

  “Lachlan?”

  “He’s fine where he is. He’s asleep. We’re not going far.”

  For some reason I trusted him. It was more than that, though. I wanted to trust him. It was a strange sensation. Taking Connor’s outstretched hand, I threw myself into this. Even if I was uncomfortable, I was determined.

  Following him through the empty restaurant, ideas started flooding me. I could imagine pictures on the walls, and a noisy room full of happy, satisfied people. Possibility is an intriguing thing. It was mesmerising.

  “Now, I know you’re worried and you haven’t made any decisions about what’s next for you, but I wanted to give you something to consider.”

  My heart was in my throat and my stomach bottomed out as Connor opened the door to the storeroom. How he knew, or who told him just what it meant to me, but it was undeniable. The storeroom was just as I remembered it from when I was a kid. Yet it was so much more. Now it was set up as not only a storeroom, but a child’s ultimate playroom. In the corner was a white cot with a blue blanket covered in trains, and a lone teddy bear waiting to be cuddled. His fur was so perfectly soft. Where the walls weren’t covered with shelving, Disney images had been hand painted.

  “They were a bitch to paint.”

  Connor must have been reading my mind again. It was truly frightening how he did that. Dropping the teddy bear at my feet, I threw myself at Connor and hoped he caught me. Once again, he didn’t let me down.

  His hands went to my ass as my legs wrapped around his waist. When I crushed my mouth over his, he didn’t miss a beat, taking control like I needed him to. When my back hit the wall, I growled like a lioness.

  The moment our lips touched it was like every nerve ending was on fire. I rubbed myself against him like a cat in heat. I could feel my nipples straining my bra, and everything got a hell of a lot more urgent. Sliding down his body, I felt Connor’s exc
itement. It was hard to miss it. Not that I wanted to. The moment my feet touched the freshly sanded floorboards, I was tugging his shirt from his jeans, desperate to get my hands on his body. When my fingers touched his stomach I moaned, but Connor swallowed it. His hands were just as frantic as mine were as my t-shirt was tossed over my shoulder.

  “Zoe!” The way my name dropped breathlessly from his lips only made me needier. After nipping at my lip, Connor pulled back, cupping my face in his hands. His eyes were dark with desire. Knowing he wanted me as much I as I wanted him was driving me crazy. “Do you really want this?”

  “More than you know.” I was shocked to hear the sex kitten voice that purred out of my mouth.

  Dipping his head down, he kissed the part of my boob which was barely being constrained. Looking down at him, I grabbed his head and held him against me. The scruff on his chin scratched at my sensitive skin and I mewled.

  When Connor slowly pulled down the zipper on my jeans I almost combusted. His hands and mouth didn’t stop moving. Between the nibbling on my neck and his never pausing hands, I was on the verge of exploding.

  “Connor—” I gasped when he cupped me over my now soaked panties.

  Pressing me even further into the wall, my hands went to his shoulders and dug in. Tomorrow he’d have claw marks on his arms and shoulders, and I was more than a little turned on at the idea.

  “Just let go, Zoe,” Connor practically growled into my ear before biting down on my lobe in the same moment his very talented fingers slid over the throbbing bundle of nerves.

  Heat flooded me, a shiver raced down my spine, and with a few well-timed flicks of his talented fingers, I lost control, praying to deities I didn’t even worship. Connor plunged his tongue in my mouth, and if I wasn’t already a panting, sweating mess, barely keeping upright on jelly legs, his kiss alone would’ve dropped me on my ass. Clinging to him, I could feel his hard, hot cock against my stomach, and although I was still coming down from the orgasm of a lifetime, I was more than interested in round two. First though, I needed a taste. Trailing my hands down Connor’s heaving chest, I was impressed by the muscles I found there. How could I not be? Last time we’d been together he’d been buff, but this was another level. If I didn’t know better, I’d believe he spent all day in the gym. But these muscles hadn’t been built staring at his reflection in the mirror in some over-priced sweaty gym. No, these muscles were sculpted from hard work.

  Unsnapping the button of his jeans, his hiss was undeniable as I licked his flat brown nipple on my journey south. Carefully I tugged down the zipper, feeling emboldened with the grunts and groans falling from Connor’s swollen lips as I dropped even lower. Not even bothering to drop his pants and black boxers, I reached in and wrapped my hand around the prize. He was hot, hard, and heavy.

  After a few sharp tugs, Connor spun us around, so his back was resting against the door. Before I could sink to my knees and take him in my already watering mouth, Connor pulled me upright and kissed me with everything he had, completely stealing my breath. While our tongues tangoed, I used my thumb and spread the bead of moisture across his crown.

  “Sweetheart, I’m going to come way too soon if you do that?”

  “Promise?” With a quick kiss against his lips, I dropped to my knees.

  Seeing his cock right in front of my face was intimidating. He was big. Bigger than I remembered. I wasn’t about to let fear stop me, though. I wanted this so much. With one final squeeze, I poked my tongue out, looked up at Connor, who was staring down, not blinking, and licked him from root to tip.

  “Oh. My. God. Zoe…”

  The way he was falling apart was making me giddy.

  Sucking him in, Connor’s hands found their way into my hair, pulling the strands painfully from my hair tie. When Connor thrust forward, I gagged. Swallowing, I forced my watery eyes up and saw Connor, his head thrown back, his mouth open, his face contorted with pleasure. With my fingernails from one hand digging into his ass cheek, I fondled his balls with the other.

  “Ah shit.”

  I knew Connor was getting close.

  I knew I was.

  I was dripping.

  Then it happened.

  A piecing squeal brought reality crashing down on us.

  Squeezing my eyes closed, I tried to block it out. I just needed five more minutes. Probably not even that. Another thirty seconds, a few well-placed fingers, and I’d last another couple of months. Lachlan didn’t seem to appreciate my desperation.

  Putting everything I had into it, I tugged on Connor’s balls and tried to take him all in with a moan.

  “Zoe,” Connor forced out a strangle growl. “L-L-Lachlan…”

  The crying intensified, and I was struggling to ignore him. I just needed another minute. I wanted it. More than I wanted anything else I’d wanted in a long time. I needed to make Connor come undone. Take back some of the power, some of the control from him. Making him unravel would be the ultimate leveller.

  “Zoe! Sweetheart. Stop.” Connor pulled me off him with a pop before helping me to my feet. Staring at his dick, I saw it was covered with my saliva and still standing at attention. The huge purple mushroom head looked angry. I couldn’t blame it. I was disappointed too.

  I’d been prepared to push through. More than prepared. Connor had a hell of a lot more restraint than I did. “I’m so sorry.” I raked my hands over my face, feeling like shit. I’d let him down. Disappointed him. I didn’t want to see it written all over his face.

  Tucking himself back in, I heard the zip between Lachlan’s squawks. Then it came again. “Go. I’ll be out in a second.”

  I don’t know why his words hurt so badly and cut so deep. It was like I was being rejected. Grabbing my shirt off the floor, I pulled it over my head and I rushed towards Lachlan.

  With my mood soured, I picked him up and realised the issue. After changing him quickly, a full nappy and outfit change without Connor re-emerging, I found myself wondering if he’d slipped out the back door and taken off. I even went so far as to glance out the windows to see if his car was still there.

  After slipping into the booth, I settled in to feed Lachlan. In five minutes it felt like I’d gone from one extreme to the other…from being treated like a wanted woman whose clothes couldn’t come off fast enough to feeling like I was just here to be an on-call buffet. I wasn’t thrilled.

  Forcing the negative thoughts from my head, I focused on my son. Every time he was feeding he had this cute drunk look on his face. His chubby cheeks flushed as he drank happily.

  “Sorry I took so long,” Connor apologised, slipping into the booth across from me.

  “N-n-no worries.” With my free hand I started digging around in Lachlan’s bag, looking for a cover up.

  “Let me help you. What do you need?”

  “Uh…um…”

  “Zoe, what am I looking for?” Connor was unpacking the bag on the table. Cloths, toys, dummies, and a whole host of other shit.

  “A wrap.”

  “A wrap?”

  “Yeah. There should be a blue and white one in there somewhere.” I couldn’t look Connor in the eye. Ten minutes ago, I couldn’t break his steely stare, now I couldn’t meet it.

  “I don’t think it’s in there.”

  “Oh.”

  “What do you need it for?”

  Oh, for fuck’s sake! Did I have to spell it out for him? Wasn’t it obvious I was dying from embarrassment at what I’d just done, and now my boob was flopped out right in front of him. “So, I can cover up.” Well duh!

  “Cover up what?”

  Oh. My. God. Was he for real? Seriously, Connor! “My boobs! No one wants to see them or me looking like a cow.”

  “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Zoe, I can still see the stubble rash my chin left on your boobs barely a minute ago. I’m still sporting the hard on they inspired. Don’t you dare try and hide,” he fumed as he stuffed everything back in the bag aggressively.

 
; I knew I’d overreacted, but I was so tangled up in my own head I didn’t know what to think, let alone say. Obviously, I’d got it wrong. “Sorry.”

  “Zoe.” Connor deflated. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything. Just stop trying to hide from me. Can you do that?”

  Well, wasn’t that a loaded question? “I can try.”

  “You can?”

  “I’ll try. It’s all I can promise you.”

  “I’ll take it.”

  Lachlan finished and sleepily gurgled. Tucking myself back in, I lifted him to my shoulder and burped him. When he was all settled again, I stood next to the table and rocked back and forth.

  “Connor?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything.” The way he said it made me quiver.

  “Why’d you do all this?”

  “I didn’t.” I must have looked at him strangely, because he continued. “Well, not all of it, anyway. I had help.”

  “Are you going to tell me who?”

  “Surely you can guess. Ryan, Alex, Beau, Gage, Payton, Carly, Josie, Nate, Mia, Derek…”

  “Derek? Derek was in on this?”

  “Of course. You didn’t think I would’ve done it without him, do you?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Not only would he have had my head, but I needed people who knew what you’d want.”

  “Why?”

  “I owed you.”

  “For what?”

  “For what I said. About Lachlan.”

  “Oh.”

  Connor stepped towards me. Steadying on my feet, I stopped rocking. When Connor held his hands out, I placed an almost sleeping Lachlan into his arms, not at all worried. “Zoe, I can never apologise enough for what I said when I saw him. I’ll admit I thought some terrible things and said some stuff that was totally unacceptable, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

  “I already did.” And it was true. Sure, his accusations hurt when he’d thrown out the barbs, but when I’d had a moment to step back and consider them, I understood where they’d come from.

  When Connor tucked me under his left arm, Lachlan cradled in his right, everything felt like it should be. He placed a kiss on my forehead and I wanted to melt into him and never leave. “So, you going to put me out of my misery and tell me what you think?”