Uninhibited

by Melody Grace

  I trace the outline of his tattoos, snaking across his bicep and shoulder in a dense pattern. “What do they mean?”

  “These guys?” Dex glances down. “They all mean something different. I started with the scroll, when I was in high school. My parent’s names. That’s sanskrit,” he adds, as my fingers stroke a foreign marking. “It means ‘life is now.’”

  “It’s beautiful,” I murmur.

  “Those are my siblings’ initials,” he continues, as my hands move across his warm skin. “And that’s the chord progression for the first song I ever wrote.”

  “Really?” I smile.

  “I must’ve been in grade school,” he laughs. “But my father wrote it down for me, and I found the notebook in some boxes a couple of years ago. It’s not any good,” he adds, with a rueful grin.

  “But it was the beginning,” I reply slowly. My fingertips come to rest on a dark inked strip. Numbers. 04.04. A date.

  “What’s this?” I ask, curious.

  Dex tenses beneath my hands. “Nothing,” he says quickly, and then I realize. The date is from last year. Whatever happened to turn his life upside down, that’s what’s commemorated in dark ink, branded in his skin.

  What is it that he can’t bring himself to talk about—but won’t let himself forget?

  “I like them,” I move on, not wanting to ruin the good mood. “I think they’re sexy.”

  “Got a thing for bad boys, do you?” Dex’s voice relaxes again.

  “Maybe just this one,” I murmur, dropping an experimental kiss along his collarbone. His skin is smooth, faintly salty under my tongue, and I inhale the scent of him, his spicy, masculine smell. My body is still heavy-limbed and breathless from my orgasm, but I feel a new itch twisting in my veins.

  I want to touch him now.

  I want to be the one to drive him wild.

  I nuzzle closer, teasingly licking in the hollow of his throat. I feel Dex’s body stiffen, hard against my hip.

  My heart catches. I feel a reckless thrill.

  Slowly, I slide my hands down his chest, over his abs. I slip my fingers beneath the waistband of his jeans, and run them back and forth between the hard fabric and his skin.

  Dex inhales a sharp breath.

  “Alicia…” he starts, a warning note in his voice, but I’m already unbuttoning his fly and edging the zipper down over his swollen, straining flesh. He reaches to stop me. I swat his hand away.

  “Eyes on the ocean,” I tell him, mock scolding. “Let’s see how your concentration holds up this time.”

  Dex laughs, but there’s a new tension in his voice now. He grips the wheel, glancing down as I ease his jeans over his hips. He’s commando underneath, and I have to catch my breath when his cock springs free: hard and big, with a long, thick shaft and bulbous head. It swells in my hands, even bigger.

  Oh my.

  I feel a tremor of nerves. I’ve never done anything like this before—never been so up close and personal with a man. But a new curiosity takes me over.

  I want to learn everything about him.

  I close my hand around him, feeling the stiff muscle leap against my touch. Dex lets out a strangled groan.

  I look back to his face, watching the tension there: the way his breath gets quicker, how he clenches his jaw when I grip him tighter and move my hand up and down the length.

  Power surges through me, a giddy rush of pride.

  Slowly, I sink to my knees.

  “Fuck.”

  I kneel on the floor of the speedboat, feeling every rock and motion of the waves. I hear Dex curse above me as I lean in, examining him up close. There’s a thick vein running from root to tip, and a ridge of muscle just beneath the head. He looks even bigger from my position down here, and for a moment, I wonder just how he could possibly fit all of that inside me.

  I push the worry aside. There’ll be time for that later.

  Right now, I want a taste.

  I lean in and slowly lick up the length of him. Dex flinches, making a low gasping sound. Emboldened, I do it again, swirling my tongue, tasting salt from the milky beads of moisture forming on the tip. I open my mouth wider, and slide my lips down, taking the head into my mouth and sucking.

  Dex groans with pleasure. Interesting. I lift my head, returning to the shaft, licking and teasing along the turgid length like a popsicle, exploring every inch of him. I slide my hands up his thighs, reaching higher to cup his balls and lightly massage the tight, swollen sacs.

  “Yes,” I hear him gasp over the rumble of the engine. “God, Alicia…”

  I close my fist around the base of his shaft and pump gently, moving my mouth to his balls now, licking and tasting them, curious at the feel. I take one into my mouth and suck experimentally, rewarded with another string of fevered cursing.

  I smile against him. There’s a new heat coiling through my body, the power of giving pleasure, controlling his body the way he’s commanded mine.

  I want more.

  I move back to his cock, teasing him with whispering kisses as I pump at the base before I form a tight ring with my lips and slide down the length of him. Dex groans his approval and moves a hand to the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair as guides me back down again, controlling my rhythm.

  Yes.

  My pulse races at the dominance, but still, I know I’m still the one in charge. I angle my head, drawing him deeper, fighting the reflex to gag. He’s so big, I don’t think I can take him all, but relaxing my throat and breathing deep, I consume him, inch by straining inch until most of his shaft is buried, hot and wet between my lips.

  I grip his ass, reeling. It feels incredible. I’ve never felt a power like this, known such an erotic thrill. I’m filled, overwhelmed by him. Nothing else exists but the slide of his flesh between my lips, plunging deeper into my mouth, and his desperate grip on the back of my head. I bob faster, finding my rhythm: taking him deep and then pulling back, swirling my tongue over that ridge of skin with every stroke. I don’t know when the engines cut, but suddenly we’re drifting, and both his hands are on the back of my head now, pinning me down. I can feel Dex panting, his whole body straining, thrusting faster against me. It’s a dizzying rush, to be the one making him crazy, and I revel in the power—sucking him hard and deep and pulling back until just the tip is between my lips. I flutter my tongue against him fast, teasingly light, and Dex answers with a desperate groan.

  “Please, baby…”

  I ignore his fevered plea, returning to those languid licks along the length of him, slow and wet. I run my hands down his thighs, scratching lightly. His cock leaps against my tongue, moisture beading at the tip, but I keep tormenting him, mixing the light caress of my tongue with occasional hard pumps with my fist, until Dex is growling, thrusting madly against my mouth.

  “Fuck, Alicia, you’re killing me!” he gasps, tugging at my hair. “Baby, please…I need you!”

  I’m dizzy, drowning in a haze of lust and power and pure, gorgeous sensation. Finally, when I don’t think even I can take it anymore, I close my lips around him and suck.

  Dex lets out a hoarse cry. I take him deeper, all the way, pumping hard at the base while my mouth slides up and down over the shaft, lips forming a tight seal, my tongue swirling at his head with every stroke.

  “Yes, baby, fuck.”

  Dex curses, chanting my name in a low growl, urging me on. I devour him, my body tight with wanting, a desperate ache between my thighs. I lift my head, glancing up to find that he’s watching me, his eyes fevered, his expression a torment that makes me thrill at my own power. It feels so forbidden to look him in the eye while I drive him crazy with my mouth, but I can’t look away. Something passes between us, sharp and bright, and then he’s gone, roaring a savage cry as his body goes tense and he jerks in my mouth, unleashing a spurt of hot liquid against the back of my throat. I hold tight, drinking him down as the tremors crash through his body and I sink into a haze of pleasure and desire. More. I
milk him with my mouth as he pulsates against me, until finally, he pulls back, clutching hold of the side of the boat for balance.

  His eyes are dazed, his mouth open, panting for air, and I watch him with a fierce surge of pride.

  I did this to him. I was the one to make him come undone.

  And God, it feels so good.

  18.

  We spend the rest of the day on the water, lazing in the bright afternoon sun. We eat the picnic Dex packed and drink cold beers from the cooler, drifting along the shore with no destination in mind. Dex cannonballs off the side of the boat, splashing me as I sunbathe on the flat prow until I dive in and wrap myself around him, smothering his with kisses until we’re both shivering and goosepimpled from the cold.

  We dry off, lying curled in each other arms. Hot skin and cool ice kisses, my head resting in the crook of his arm. I’ve never felt so relaxed and yet so alive: a wire of live electricity shivering under his touch, crackling with friction and intensity, even as my mind turns drowsy and restful. The hours pass in a haze until finally, Dex starts the engine, and we motor back to the bay, the boat slicing through the waves with breath-taking speed.

  By the time he drives us home, my stomach has twisted into a knot of glorious anticipation. What happened on the boat awakened something deep inside me, lit a touchpaper to the fire that has been glowing hotter since the moment we met. Now, I feel a naked curiosity, a new kind of hunger. A reckless need.

  I want all of him, I’m ready now.

  And I want it tonight.

  I reach across and take his hand from the gearstick, bringing it to my lips. I brush my lips against his knuckles, then turn it over, slowly kissing into his palm.

  Dex looks over at me with a dark-eyed smile. My heart skips. There’s no mistaking the intensity in his gaze, the promise of what’s to come.

  I squirm in my seat. My body tightens, just imagining his hands on me again, his masterful, dizzying touch. There’s a new intimacy between us now, the silent secret of those hours out on the ocean, and the slow exploration of each other’s bodies. I feel more aware of every breath and glance that passes between us; my senses heightened, my skin sensitive to the smallest touch.

  I’ve only just begun to discover this man.

  My head is spinning when Dex pulls into the driveway. I twist around, reaching for our bags in the backseat, but he stops me. “Later,” he says, getting out and circling to open my door. I take his hand to get out, and suddenly, he swings me up and over his shoulder.

  “Dex!” I squeal, laughing. “What are you doing?”

  “Taking you back to my cave.” He lands a light smack on my ass as he strides into the house, but when he suddenly turns me right way up, there’s nothing playful in his gaze.

  His eyes rake over me, dark and hungry as he steps forward, backing me into the hallway wall.

  My giggle fades. My stomach turns a slow flip. I must have left the radio on before we left, because there’s a sultry song playing softly in the background, heightening the intimate mood as I stand, shivering under the force of his stare.

  His eyes never leaving mine, Dex takes my wrists and pins them above my head. I gasp, my breasts jutting out, nipples tightening into two aching peaks. Dex’s gaze drifts lower, a hungry smile edging his lips as he sees the evidence of my desire. As if in answer, he grinds his hips deliberately against my body, so I can feel the hard, thick ridge straining at his jeans.

  Oh my.

  I gasp for air. Suddenly, the world has contracted to just this: the dark gleam of his eyes, the sweet rush shuddering through my bloodstream, and the delicious ache between my thighs.

  There’s no reason to hold back anymore. We’re all alone, and Lord, I want him so much I can barely stand. My legs are weak, but more than the fever gripping my body, I feel a sharp clarity take me over, a strange instinct that cannot be denied.

  It’s him.

  All my waiting, all my nervous indecision—always pulling back, never allowing myself to let go and take the leap—none of it matters now.

  This is the man I want to know me, intimately, like nobody else. In this moment, there’s no one else in the world.

  Right now, I want to share every part of myself with him—and know all of him in return.

  I arch up, straining against his firm grip until I reach his lips in a searing hot kiss. I pour everything into the moment, every ounce of wild emotion and lust. With a growl, Dex releases my wrists and scoops my body hard against him, his hands roving ravenously across my body; tangling in my hair, sliding over my breasts, reaching to cup my ass. I fall into him, drowning in the dizzy rush as my fever takes me over, demanding more, more, now.

  He lifts me, already steering me down the hall towards the bedroom. We’re a breathless tangle of hands and kisses and searching tongues. I pull his shirt over his head, running my hands over the smooth, muscular planes of his back as he kisses a blazing path down my neck.

  Oh! I whimper, arching up against his tongue, shameless and desperate for more. I stumble back, knocking into the hall table and sending something crashing to the floor but Dex doesn’t pause a moment and I’m too far gone to even look. All I care about is claiming another kiss, feeling his skin, hot against mine.

  Yes.

  But it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, not until I’m naked in his arms and he’s buried deep inside me. I tear away. My heart is racing as I turn my back to Dex and walk towards the open bedroom door. I pause, unhooking one shoulder strap and letting it fall off my shoulder.

  I turn back, a flirty smile on my lips, expecting Dex to already be reaching for me. But instead, the hunger is gone from his eyes. He’s staring, frozen, not even looking at me, and the expression on his face is so agonized, it makes my blood turn to ice.

  His song is playing on the stereo.

  I didn’t even notice, I was so caught up in his kisses and the crash of my own heartbeat, but now the thunder has subsided, I hear it now: soft, but unmistakeable. I’ve never heard this track before, but Dex’s voice shivers through me, haunted.

  “Dex?” I whisper, taking a step towards him.

  He flinches, snapping back to meet my eyes. “I…” He stops. “I can’t…”

  “Hey.” I go to him in an instant, wrapping my arms tight around his frozen body. I forget about the desire still coiled tight in my body; suddenly all that matters is him, and that agony hidden deep in those dark eyes. “It’s OK,” I murmur, shushing him. “Everything’s OK.”

  He stands, unmoving, in my embrace. I can feel his heart racing in his chest, feel the tension trembling in every limb.

  This isn’t just bashful self-deprecation. Not wanting to be reminded of his former glories, or hating to hear the sound of his own voice.

  This is a gunshot victim ducking every time he hears a car backfire.

  “Dex?” I ask again.

  He suddenly wrenches away from me. “I’m sorry,” he growls, turning away with an agonized look on his face. Before I can say another word, he bolts out through the living room and yanks the glass doors open, exiting down the steps onto the beach.

  I’m left alone.

  I take a deep breath, walking slowly to the kitchen to turn the radio off. This happened before, back in the city the night we first met. Then, I used it as an excuse to run—a sign nothing was supposed to happen between us. For a moment, I think about doing the same thing now. Packing my bags and leaving him alone with his demons. He doesn’t want to share his burden, and I have no right to expect him to explain.

  But I can’t just leave.

  I know him now, know the good man beneath the charming, filthy-mouthed exterior, and the impulse to go to him is overwhelming. I want to hold him tight, and make those shadows disappear. He’s been keeping something inside him for so long, and it’s eating him alive—I want him to face whatever bleak past he’s running from, and more than that, I want to be by his side, helping him through every painful memory.

  This isn�
�t just playing anymore. We’re past the flirting, and the easy games. I need to know him, know everything that’s inside that heart of his.

  I walk outside, slowly descending the steps to the beach and picking my way across the sand until I reach him. He’s sitting by the shoreline, his shoulders tense as he watches the waves break. It’s cooler now, the evening sun sinking behind us, casting hazy golden light across the bay.

  I sit beside him quietly. My heart aches for the pain that he’s clearly been carrying for so long, the mysterious events that have carved their wounds so deep.

  “Talk to me,” I say softly. “Dex, please. Whatever it is…I’m here.”

  19.

  DEX

  She stayed.

  I can’t believe it. After I freaked out like that, I was sure Alicia would just throw her stuff in the car and get the hell out of here as quickly as she could. I wouldn’t have blamed her. Hell, this is’t what she signed up for. I promised her a sexy week of dirty fun, not this: the mess of a man I’ve become, flinching to every damn song on the radio, unable to keep the past locked tight in the vault where it belongs.

  She sits quietly beside me on the beach. I can smell the sweet scent of her shampoo and tanning lotion, and every instinct in my body just wants to hold her, possess her—lose myself in her warmth until the darkness falls away and I can forget the terrible damage I’ve done.

  “Dex,” she whispers, her voice full of compassion. “I promise, you can trust me.”

  Dammit.

  I have to clench my fists in the sand to keep from reaching for her. Can’t she see I’m damaged goods? That I’ll fuck up her life, leaving nothing but carnage in my wake?

  It’s what I do, it’s what I always do.

  “I’m sorry for yelling at you back there,” I manage to say, fighting to keep it together. “All this bullshit…I know it’s not why you’re here. You can go,” I add, hollow. “I’ll understand.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Alicia places her hand on mine, and I can’t help but turn to look at her.