by T A Ford
She stared at the food. She wasn’t hungry, though the smell of the food did make her mouth water. He had made her stewed fish, which was her mother’s recipe, and her favorite lasagna. He even got her some pie for dessert.
“This is great.” She set the box down and went to the kitchen to wash her hands. She came out and Rodney was opening a bottle of wine. He poured them both a glass.
“I had a good day too.”
“Tell me about it,” he said.
“Well I...” she paused. She looked up at him. If she told him she went to see a therapist and took tests to gage if she was crazy, it would ruin everything. Especially since she still didn’t know what was wrong with her.
“Dina?” he said with concern.
“I saw the new place you got for me.”
“Yes, I know. You facetimed me and I got the six hundred texts thanking me.”
“I love it so much Rodney. I really do. It’s like the best place you ever got for me.”
“And it’s close to me,” he said.
She nodded. She sipped her wine. “I know how I’m going to decorate my library.”
“I’m hiring you a decorator.”
“No,” she frowned. “I can do it myself.”
“Of course, you can, but I want to make sure that it’s just what you want. They’ll work for you, do whatever you want them to do. Remember, it’s your castle.” He pointed his finger at her. “You are the boss. If you want those damn yellow sticky notes all over the windows and walls, do it. No problem, sis.”
“For real,” Dina grinned. She ate some of the lasagna and thought over everything. She stopped chewing. “Rodney?”
“Yes?”
“This is really expensive. Can we afford it? I got my last paycheck. And I haven’t spent any of dad’s money. Can we afford a place that fancy?”
Rodney grinned. “Money is no problem. I got you kid.”
Dina tried to smile, but her brother’s fixation on wealth was as compulsive as her love for books. He collected investments. And even when doing his taxes she knew there was another aspect to how he gained so much in returns. But she didn’t allow her anxiety to surface and ruin the moment. To keep from blurting out her fear, she pushed aside her concerns and took a sip. They would be just fine. Rodney knew what he was doing.
JACK BARKED.
“Hey boy,” Cue said as the golden retriever jumped up his leg. He removed his blazer and coat then hung them both at the door. He stepped out of his shoes and stopped to ruffle Jack’s face before walking into his two-bedroom apartment. He didn’t need much, but he did feel a tinge of guilt that Jack didn’t have a yard to stretch his legs in. His dog walked over to his kennel in the living room and went inside to sit on his pillow. Cue headed to the kitchen for his routine of microwaving a frozen dinner and fixing himself an afternoon drink. The end game would be to the watch the replay of First Take and unwind.
His patients had taken the last of his energy. All he wanted was peace and quiet. The microwave beeped. He finished off the scotch and took the glass with him to get his dinner. When he returned with his dinner and his drink, he felt the tension slip from his bones. Then his phone in his back pocket beeped.
“Shit,” he grumbled. A green bubble showed that he had missed a text:
Thank you Doc!
It was from Dina. He smiled. She was the bright spot in his dreary day. He wanted to text her back but felt it was inappropriate. He cranked up the volume and reclined to watch Stephen A. Smith rip into Max Kellerman. But every now and then he’d glance over to the text on his phone and think of her.
Chapter Eight
The Deal
“Dr. Walsh? Your two o’clock is here.”
“Send him in,” Cue said. He closed the folder he was writing in as Rodney entered. His friend looked as dapper as ever. Cue couldn’t help but notice the diamond beveled Rolex on his wrist. “W’sup bro?”
“Hey man, been waiting on this. Why not call me? Or fall through?” Rodney asked.
“I thought this might be better done in my office,” Cue said. Rodney removed his trench coat and dropped it on the chair before he sat down. He pulled up the sleeves of his cashmere sweater.
“How has she been? You’ve been seeing her almost every day for two weeks.”
“It’s a process. I got some news to share.”
“Yea?”
“Her diagnosis,” Cue said. “I’m giving it to her tomorrow, but I thought I’d share it with you first. Like we agreed.”
“Hand it over.”
“Wait,” Cue said. “This is unethical. I could lose my license by doing this. You can’t say any of it to her. Understood?”
“Bro, you know I understand. I put you in a bad spot, but I was right. You got the gift man. You have always been someone I could trust. I just want to help her. So, thank you.”
“We can help her.”
“So what is it? Schizophrenia? Bipolar? What? A tumor?”
“No,” he handed the folder over. Rodney opened it and tried to read.
“There is often more than one diagnosis. For your sister we have four.”
“Four?”
“She suffers from acute anxiety that’s triggered by her OCD. And yes, she has mild autism that has been expanded on the spectrum to be Asperger’s. It’s a complicated mix. That is why she experiences the verbal hallucinations. She’s good at controlling it. With all that’s going on in her head she functions well through her regular routines. She’s conscious enough to avoid stressful situations. The dance classes help her with her socializing issues. I mean, man, she’s come up with her own therapy plan better than ones prescribed by most doctors.”
“This is fucked up.”
“No. It’s not. We can treat her. I can treat her. Psychotherapy and—”
“Medication? Tell me there is medication we can put her on,” Rodney said. “If so, what kind of meds? Not that Prozac shit. I’m not going to turn her into a junkie. Like those hospitals did to my mother before she took her life.”
“Your mother committed suicide?” Cue asked.
“Yeah, didn’t I tell you that?”
“No, we won’t do Prozac. I’m not sure what I’ll start her out on, but it has to be something for a trial. I think we start with the OCD and give her some coping exercises. Then try to move on to the depression.”
“She’s been in a good mood lately. I got her a new place. I was over there last night unpacking all these fucking boxes of books. It’s neat and clean like my Dina. She’s keeping it that way.”
“That’s a good sign. I want to talk to you about her depression though. It’s something neither of you discuss. She claims she just gets sad. I haven’t seen her become manic since the elevator incident. In fact, I’ve never seen her sad. Have you?”
“She threatens to harm herself when we argue, but she’s never done anything that I know of that makes her seem depressed,” Rodney said. “Sometimes she stays in bed for long stretches of time sleeping. The other day she didn’t get up to eat. She told me she was tired. Later she was fine.”
Cue nodded. “That could be of concern.”
“How?”
“Depression is often seen when a person withdraws. Dina is a master a managing her outward appearance for others. But when she lives alone there could be things that you are missing. Either way, we are on to a good start.”
Rodney closed the folder with relief. It had been three weeks since they started the covert mission and he could tell that a heavy burden had been lifted from his friend’s shoulder. “Man, I got a big favor to ask for Dina. Probably the biggest favor I’ve ever asked. I need your help on this one.”
“I like Dina. She’s a sweet girl. I think I’ve already decided to help her.”
“No. That’s not it. This is a good start, but the timing is so fucked up.”
Cue frowned.
Rodney let go another deep breath. “Remember I told you I had to leave Atlanta. Well it’s tim
e. I got to bounce. And soon. This new deal in Paris. These investors are pulling me in on something solid. I got to go over there for a while.”
“You’re looking prosperous,” he said, and nodded to the diamond watch on Rodney’s wrist.
“Yeah, well this is just the beginning.”
“How can I help?” he asked.
“You still living in that shit apartment out in Chamblee?”
“Shit apartment?” Cue laughed. “I wouldn’t call it shit.”
“Sorry man. How about a nice penthouse? Four bedrooms. A pussy magnet. I’m telling you, it is solid.”
“Wait what are you offering me?”
“A new deal. I need you to be close to Dina. Stay close to her. I got something going in this condo skyrise. Put her in one of the empty units. Told her I bought it but it’s really on lease. Got another vacancy on the same floor. I do Paris for a few months and you chill there with her. Keep your eye on her. When she is better, you can fly her out to me. When her meds are working, though. She and I might be staying in Europe for a stretch in the future. I’m getting ahead of myself. This is how we start.”
“I can’t do that. Besides, I have a lease.”
“Keep it. The penthouse is rent free for you,” Rodney said. “You a gambling man. This one is a sure thing.”
“If you wait a few months, I’m sure Dina’s anxiety could be managed enough for you to take her with you.”
“Nah, no, bro. Can’t. I’ll be all through Europe when I get there. She can’t keep up. Besides I don’t want to stop her therapy. She’s really doing good. I mean, she still uses those damn sticky notes, but she isn’t shouting out my name as much. Or blurting out her random thoughts to strangers.”
“I can’t get that close to my patient. I’m telling you, this is already pushing the limits. Dina has to be told that we know each other.”
“We’re friends. We have been since I saved your ass. Remember that?” Rodney asked.
“Don’t play that card. I paid that debt. I got us here,” he said.
“Then this me begging. My friend. My bro. You know I bleed for you man. Fuck, in the past I have. Please man. I need this. Dina needs this. She trusts you. Hell, she trusts you more than me.”
Cue chewed on it. That building was nice, and he was near the end of his lease and in debt. “Fine. I’ll use the time to get myself solid. Find me a permanent spot.”
Rodney smiled. “You having financial troubles?”
“Huh? No.”
“You sure? Because I got long pockets. I can dig a friend out. You know I got you. Right?”
Cue felt anger surface and did his best to not let Rodney bait him into the conversation he seem to be itching to have.
“My practice is good. I’m good.”
Rodney put up his hands in mock surrender. He chuckled. “Well I’ll make sure to pay my bill on my way out. We good man. We all good.”
“SO, THIS IS WHAT’S wrong with me?”
“It’s something that many people deal with,” Cue said.
Dina kept reading all the materials he’d gathered on her diagnosis. He sat at her side on the sofa in his office. They’d become quite close over the past three weeks in therapy. He didn’t cross the line by having lunch and dinner with her. And he quit the flamenco dancing club to give her the experience without his intrusion. It got to be too much for him to see Matteo constantly feeling her up as she danced around thinking he was a good instructor.
“Okay, so this is the medicine I will start?” she asked.
“Yes. Have you heard of any of it before?”
“Yes,” she said. “I’ve done my homework. I know the side effects.”
Cue got up from the sofa and went to his desk. He picked up the prescription. “I have some news.”
“Really?” she asked, but didn’t stop reading the documents.
“I’m moving.”
She looked up at him.
“Back to Maine, or Massachusetts?”
“No. Out of Chamblee and into your condominiums. Got a good deal.”
“Seriously?!” she smiled.
He nodded.
“That’s great! Oh, that’s so good. They have a gym, indoor pool, and on Taco Tuesday management has a live band with tequila and plenty of tacos.”
“Sounds like my kind of place.”
“When do you move in?” she asked.
“In a few days,” he said.
“Oh? My brother leaves in a couple of days. We could help you get settled before he goes. I’m going to tell him tonight. That I know what’s wrong and how you helped me. I want you two to meet.”
“Whatever you want,” Cue smiled. Dina gathered her papers. She walked over to him. He stared down at her. She pulled him down to her level by his tie and kissed his cheek. “You’re my new hero, Doc.”
“You’re the hero Dina. You made all of this possible.”
She nodded in agreement. She knew how to accept a compliment. “I’ll text you. Let you know how it all goes.”
He watched her leave. Cue touched his cheek and smiled again. There was no greater reward than helping people. He’d done something helpful, something meaningful. In his shit life, this is where he drew his greatest sustenance from. He then pushed all thoughts of her from his mind. He had work to do. He found it hard with her jasmine perfume tickling his senses, so he regained his focus with an afternoon drink to take the edge off.
DINA SAT NEXT TO HER brother on the sofa. She had her pills and the documents from the doctor on the coffee table before them. She poured her heart out to him. Told him everything. All the way back to what happened when she stabbed Rafael with the pencil. How many nights she paced the floor saying her brother’s name over and over just to shut out the voices in her head. How many times people stared at her like she was crazy for talking to herself. There was so much to say. She also told him of the dark moments. The ones when she couldn’t get out of bed or sat in the shower with the water running while fully dressed and cried. Those deepest secrets were never shared with anyone, not even Cue. Rodney listened. He only asked a few questions, mostly about the medication and the practice exercises she would need to do. And then she braced for his final reaction. It was the longest thirty seconds of her life.
“I’m proud of you sis. This is you, girl. All you. Even Mama couldn’t do this,” Rodney said.
She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him to the point of choking him. She never realized her own strength. “Thank you so much Rodney. I feel so happy. I just feel relieved to know what’s wrong with me finally.” She let him go and stood. She went to her purse and got out a book she had bought before driving to meet her brother. “Here, this is for you.”
“The Voices in Your Head?” he asked.
“It’s by a doctor named Cliff Henrick. It talks about verbal hallucinations. The ways you can live with it and control it.”
“You think one day you won’t be on these meds?” he asked.
“I hope so. I want to have children, so I don’t plan to take these pills for the rest of my life.”
“What does the doctor say? Is it a thing you cure with medicine?” Rodney asked.
“No silly. There will never be a cure. Don’t worry about all of that. I got my mind under control. The doctor says he hasn’t met a stronger patient than me.”
“I do worry. Especially with me leaving. I’m thinking of flying back every two weeks. Just to take you to dinner.”
Dina smiled. “That would be nice. But if you can’t do it then don’t worry.”
The doorbell rang. Dina frowned. “You expecting company?”
“Ah, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Huh?” she asked.
Rodney stood. “I asked Sheila to go with me to Paris.”
Dina felt her heart shatter in her chest. “You did?”
“She’s never been. We’re getting closer and—”
“It’s okay, I like her,” Dina lied.
“She doesn’t like me Rodney. But I like her fine,” Dina said.
“Well, she does like you. And she knows you come first. Everyone knows who the main woman in my life is.”
Dina held her fake smile for her brother until he turned to answer the door. She felt her hands begin to tingle and her breathing go rapid. She grabbed the bag of pills and took the dosage dry as Shelia sashayed into the house with Rodney dragging her luggage behind her.
“Sorry babe, I had to stop by the cleaners, that’s what took me so long—” Sheila stopped. “Oh, hi Dina.”
“Hi Sheila,” she said.
Sheila looked like one of the Real Housewives, with long flowing weave and fake eyelashes. She knew for a fact that her brother paid for her breasts and to put the chubby in her ass. That’s why Dina liked Maura better. Maura had a job. She wore her own hair. And she was genuine. “I’m coming with you guys to Paris. Rodney just told me.”
Sheila looked back at Dina’s brother with a contorted frown. “Rodney?”
He rolled his eyes and smiled. “She’s fucking with you babe.”
“Oh? It’s a joke,” Sheila said. “Funny.”
“I thought so,” Dina said.
“Another book?” Sheila said and pointed with a snide smile to Dina.
“A gift for Rodney.” Dina picked up her papers and her medicine.
Sheila began to remove her coat and gloves, and then fuss over Dina’s brother, forcing him to give her a prolonged kiss while palming her basketball size ass with both hands. It made Dina’s stomach hurt. She couldn’t stand another second of the fake show of intimacy. “My brother is the real prize. Why couldn’t he just pick Maura and not this plastic tittie, fake bootie tramp.”
“What did you call me? Who the hell is Maura?” Sheila gasped.
“Dina!” Rodney said.
She glanced back at them both. She could have sworn the comment was in her head. Did she just say it aloud? Sheila turned on Rodney and shoved him in the chest. “Who the fuck is Maura!”
“She didn’t mean it babe. She’s just a little bit crazy. You know she has problems with reality.”