by T A Ford
The retching noise of someone gagging woke him in an instant. Cue sat up. Dina was to the side of the bed, heaving what little she had on her stomach. He leapt from bed and carried her to the bathroom. He turned on the shower. She was on her knees before the toilet, unable to stop the choking sounds of her vomiting.
It was late. He knew they’d slept for a while. Cue did his best to help her through it, and then when she was strong enough, he put her in the shower. Dina hated to be soiled in any way. He cleaned her while she shivered and cried. He covered her in a robe and took her from the bedroom to the sofa by the fire. It was burning low. She sat there in the robe shivering.
“Babe? Are you hungry? Are you okay?”
She didn’t look at him. She stared at the fireplace. He added more to the fire and did his best to warm the room better. He fixed her tea and tried to soothe her. The only reaction he saw from her were the tears slipping down her cheeks. “It’s okay. Drink this. For me.”
Dina held the mug and sipped the hot tea. He watched her for a moment and then felt she was lucid enough to leave. The bedroom had to be cleaned. The sheets put in the washer. When he returned, she was where he had left her.
“I have some chili. It’s not spicy. It could put something on your stomach. Are you hungry?”
Dina didn’t answer.
Cue went to the kitchen and fixed a bowl. He sat next to her and fed her, taking the time to give her a chance to swallow after each helping.
I had a bad dream. She could barely remember what caused it. Only the choking she felt to her neck with Rodney hands around her throat. She woke up in vomit. She looked to Cue. He was there, but what she really wanted was her brother. Does he hate me Doc? Rodney? Does he hate me forever? Is that why he left me? Is that why I will never see him again?
“Open,” Cue said.
She opened her mouth and he gave her some chili. She chewed and swallowed. She looked to the fireplace once more. What day is it Doc? Did I miss Christmas? Can we still go see your family? Maybe we should call Rodney and invite him? Maybe then he won’t hate me so much. I have a job too, Doc. Can we tell them I’ll be to work soon? Did you call them?
Cue rubbed Dina’s hair back from her face. She stared at the fire in her silent way. “I know you’re in there. I know. It’s all so confusing to you now. It’ll get better. Tomorrow will be different, and the day after that will be different. You’ll come back to me.”
Cue scooped up some more chili and fed her a mouthful. Once she looked at him while eating and he could swear in that brief moment she saw him. It was all the encouragement he needed. Keeping her in a room locked away was just as they had done to her. She needed the ability to breathe. The freedom.
“How about we do the sofa bed? Your bed. Just you.”
She nodded that she understood. A first of many moments between them that made him hopeful she was coming around. Cue walked her over to the chair and then pulled off the sofa cushions to let out the sofa bed. He dressed it properly. He brought out pillows and blankets. There was a television mounted that he was able to turn on and bring up her favorite, Netflix. When he was done, he gestured for her to try it out. She stared at him for a moment, then the bed. She walked over and got under the covers, and he found Black Mirror to entertain her—one of her favorite shows. Cue wanted to join her, but he resisted. He made a decision from that moment forward none of his wants would matter. He went to the sofa across from the sofa bed and reclined back on it, watching the shows he’d seen with her almost a hundred times.
“Rodney!” Dina cried out.
Cue opened his eyes. She was sitting up in the darkness. Only the embers of the fire gave the room any light. She stared straight ahead. “Rodney!” she said clearly.
“Dina?”
She gasped. She looked over to him and he could see the fear on her face. Cue checked the time. It had been sixteen hours since she last had any meds. He got up and walked over to her, but she scooted away.
“It’s okay. It’s Doc.”
She turned over and away from him. He walked around the sofa bed and knelt so he could face her. She turned away, refusing to look at him. There wasn’t much he could do. He tended to the fire once more and made it warm for them. He then returned to the sofa bed and stared at her. She didn’t say another word as she drifted to sleep.
THE SECOND DAY, DINA was up and about. She groomed herself and brushed her teeth without encouragement. She sat at the table and ate breakfast with him in silence. When he gave her a pill to help her manage the effects of the drugs she was coming off of, she took it without question.
“You know what I miss?” he asked her.
She didn’t look up. She kept eating her grits.
“Our times at Morgan Falls. The lake. Remember?”
She glanced up at him. She ate a bit more without speaking. Cue looked to the window. He wasn’t sure of the weather, but it was clear and beautiful outside. He got up from the table and walked to the door. Dina tracked him with her eyes but said nothing. He opened the door and stepped out into a cool sunny day. A perfect day for time on the lake. He glanced back at her. “What do you think? Do you want to go for a ride with me?”
Dina put on her shoes. The headache she had earlier was gone. Doc wants me to leave with him. He can’t be trusted. He’ll take me back there. He and Rodney both want to keep me locked away.
“Dina?” Cue called for her. She nearly jumped out of her skin. She stared at herself in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes were new. She hadn’t washed her hair in a long time, so the tangles were just sitting there a ponytail. She didn’t recognize herself. “Dina, you ready?”
She opened the door. Doc waited for her by the front of the cabin with a coat that look liked it belonged to him. She wasn’t sure what trusting him would mean. Do you want to take me out to the lake to push me out of the boat? Are you tricking me so you can put me in the car and take me back to that institution? Is Dr. Robinson waiting for me outside? Is that why you are being so nice after forgetting me for so long? Where’s my brother? Did you kill him? Bury him in these woods where you want to bury me?
“Ready?” he asked.
She shook her head no. Cue lowered the coat and smiled at her. “I just want you to feel the sun on your face. Aren’t you tired of looking through windows at life?”
Dina glanced to the window and remembered the sun. The thought of it calmed her. How did he know she missed it? She glanced to him. He lifted the coat again. She walked over and she slipped her arms through the coat and he buttoned the front. It was too big for her. It was warm. Doc put a knit cap on her head and made it fit over her ponytail, giving her a cone head she could see reflected on the surface of the television.
“Still the most beautiful woman I know,” he said.
She frowned.
“Come on, you go first,” he encouraged. She did as he suggested. Outside she didn’t feel the cold. She felt the sun, and she was drawn to it like a magnet. She stepped down the steps onto the frozen grass and lifted her face to feel it on her skin.
“Nice,” she said.
She spoke. Cue heard her. She stood there with her arms raised to the heavens and her face tilted up to the sky. In her file Robinson said that she kept sitting by the window to see the sun. Cue dismissed it at first, but now he was glad he remembered. To see her smile gave him all the encouragement and hope he needed. He joined her, and together they walked to the dock where the fisherman’s boat waited. He helped her in. Then untied it and got the oars to set them out. Dina looked around. She didn’t say or do anything. He had heard her speak earlier. He wanted to encourage her to do more. But how? She was evidently wary of him, and for good reason.
“Remember the first time we did this? You nearly tipped the boat because you saw a duck surface from under the water.”
She looked at him.
He smiled. “I realized in that moment that I never asked you if you could swim. I just assumed you could. Can you?”<
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Dina stared at him with no expression. He kept rowing. They coasted over still waters. They were the only ones on the lake. It was much colder on the water. He decided not to go too far. He stopped the rowing and settled the boat on the water. They bobbed, but didn’t drift much.
“Did I ever tell you about my brothers?” he asked.
Dina blinked.
“I have five. I’m the fourth child. My three older brothers are Charlie, Michael and Eddie. My mother calls him Edward, but we all call him Eddie. He’s the lawyer. He’s the one that got me and Rodney out of trouble in Harvard. My older brother Michael lives in Canada with his kid and new wife. And my baby brother is out there somewhere doing whatever he wants no matter the consequence. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in five years.”
Dina didn’t say much.
“Six of us total, and the closest person to me in the past year has been you.”
She looked back up at the sky. Cue picked up the oars and started to row. After a while the cold became too much for them so he headed back to shore. He didn’t make the connections he had wanted to. And he feared any conversation about Rodney would push her deeper into a depressive state. He took solace in her calmness.
As he rowed back he caught a glimpse of someone from his peripheral. His head turned, and on the embankment to his left he saw good-ole-boy Jess watching them. When he looked that way, Jess threw up his hand and waved. He had his shotgun under his arm. “Shit,” Cue mumbled. He attempted a wave as well. Dina glanced to the man and then back to him curiously. “Well babe, we’ve been found out. Forgot I told him I was alone.”
Dina glanced to the man who continued to watch them.
“It’s okay. He’s harmless,” he said.
“I’m cold,” she said.
Cue nearly dropped the oar. His eyes stretched. “Me too. Let’s go back and get warm. I can heat up some chili. Will that do?”
She didn’t answer. He smiled anyway.
Chapter Twenty-One
The New Beginning
“Doc?” Dina groaned. She turned over on the sofa bed. The heavy blankets were like a gift from God. The warmth made her feel so comfortable and safe. She opened her eyes and expected to find him close. But he wasn’t. Dina lifted her head. Was it all a dream? The last thing she remembered was being at the table with Doc feeding her chili and telling her one of his bad jokes.
“Doc?”
She was on a sofa bed in a rustic looking cabin that had windows everywhere. She could see snow. She could feel the brightness of a new day. She was surrounded by the smell of cedar wood and coffee.
“Morning,” Cue said. He walked over with a tray on which there was a bowl and coffee mug. She sat up and smiled for him. It wasn’t a dream. Doc was real.
“Hi Doc,” she smiled.
“How do you feel?” he asked with an even wider grin.
“Confused,” she said. “How did I get here? In here? I remember being here, I just don’t remember how I got here.”
“We’ve been here three days. You’ve been sick a little, but you’re getting better. Didn’t expect you to wake up calling my name.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You were in and out of it. I brought you here to the cabin to rest up.”
“It’s pretty,” she picked up her cup and smelled the rich aroma of cocoa. She sniffed and sipped. “I would like some coffee.”
“No caffeine for a while. I need you to eat your oatmeal. I put in brown sugar, raisins, nuts and butter for you.”
“Mmm,” she nodded.
“Any headaches, muscle aches, stomach?”
“I feel good,” she said and set down her mug. She began to eat her oatmeal, impressed that he remembered exactly how she liked it.
“Dr. Waldon had you on some very strong drugs. The good news is you haven’t been on them for long, so you seem to be recovering pretty nicely.”
“And the bad news?”
“Huh?” he asked.
“The bad news? When someone starts with the good news there is always bad news to follow.”
Cue chuckled. “You’re right. There will be some side effects.”
“Like?”
“Memory loss. Mood swings. Depression. Physically you might feel dizziness, loss of sleep and uhm, dehydration.”
Dina chuckled.
“What’s funny?” he asked.
“Sounds like every day for me,” she mumbled.
He was slow to understand the joke, but he eventually got it and smiled.
Dina ate her oatmeal. She didn’t ask a lot of questions. She knew he was upset and she didn’t want to make things worse. But she had a million questions in her mind. The first would probably be: Why did any of it happen the way it did?
“All done,” she said. He nodded and took the tray. She sipped her cocoa. Soon her impulses won over or her need for self-control. “Where is Rodney?” she blurted.
Cue didn’t turn to answer the question. He went straight to the kitchen to put up the dishes. She turned on the sofa bed and stared at him. “Cue? Where is my brother? Rodney would never leave me abandoned for long. Never. The doctor tried to make me think he did, and I’ll admit I believed him for a time. But I know him. He loves me. Where is my brother!”
“Should we talk about it now Dina?” he gave her a delayed response.
“Yes. I just asked you, didn’t I?”
“What if it’s going to be upsetting news.”
“What? Is he okay?”
Cue looked up at her. “No. He’s not. I am going to tell you everything. But first I want to help you get stronger.”
“Tell me now! Now,” she demanded. Her vision blurred with surfacing tears. He stared at her and she tried to blink them away without wiping. “Now.”
He handed her a glass of water and a pill he’d cut in half. “Take this first.”
She accepted the pill and the water and did as he asked. He took the glass and the coffee mug from her and put them in the sink. “Can we go back to the sofa?”
“Oh good grief! Just tell me!” She marched out of the kitchen. She plopped down on the sofa across from the sofa bed. He joined her.
“First, let’s talk about what’s happening.”
“To who?” she asked.
He smiled.
“Oh? To me?”
“Dina, I think you don’t ask questions and you don’t express disappointment because you fear how it will affect us. How we love each other,” he said. “I have the same fear at times.”
“You’re fearless. I don’t blame you for any of this,” she shrugged.
“The past few days have been hard. When we arrived here you couldn’t even speak. ”
“I don’t want to talk about any of that. Where is Rodney?”
“I let you down Dina.”
“Stop it! You came and got me. I didn’t feel good at first. Now I do. End of story. We’re together and we’re in love like we are supposed to be. I’m not mad anymore.”
Cue shook his head. “Because I wasn’t honest with you, Rodney came back to Atlanta to protect you. He didn’t know why I did what I did. He just knew that you were with me for help and now you’re with me for love. It’s not a good way to start any relationship in the eyes of your brother. In the eyes of the world.”
“Bull crap,” Dina said. “Over sixty percent of book sales are for romantic stories with a happily ever after. And in every romance book I’ve ever read the hero comes in and saves the heroine. That’s how you get to be happy. One person saves another. You saved me. Because you love me. And I love you.”
She didn’t like the look in Cue’s eyes. She looked around the cabin and then back to him. It dawned on her that he wasn’t just delaying telling her about Rodney. He was trying to dismiss the bond they shared. “Are you trying to break up with me?”
“If I did, what would that mean to you?” he asked.
Shocked, she couldn’t speak. She could barely breathe. The worst thing in the
world to happen to her was losing him and the happiness they shared. She couldn’t go back to that place. She didn’t want to.
“Did you ever love me?” she asked.
“I still love you.”
“Then why are you like this? Because I’m not normal?”
“Because I’m not normal, Dina. Rodney was wrong about a lot of things, but he was right about one. I have deep issues, babe.”
“Like what?”
“All those times you saw me on my laptop, I wasn’t working. I was gambling. All those notes you posted about my favorite beer. It wasn’t normal drinking. I drink every day, all day. It’s part of my addiction.”
“I don’t understand.”
“When Rodney and I were in school the cost of just existing at Harvard was too much. Rodney was on a scholarship that barely covered his tuition. My parents had taken every loan out for me they could. And loans weren’t enough. We bonded over our misery, our hunger to be important and to be important fast.”
She remembered Rodney’s school days, but never remembered him struggling. In fact, he sent money home to help take care of her and her mother.
“One night some ignorant bastard in a bar taunted Rodney into a pool game. Pool was my game. And Rodney knew it. I played it often around the campus and won little side bets. Rodney talked the man into a wager. More than half the bar bet against me. The only white boy there.” Cue looked up at her. “I won us two thousand dollars that night. We checked in a hotel and ordered as much food as he could stomach while getting drunk. Drinking was just something we did in college. Then it dawned on us both how easy that hustle was. Rodney said my name would have to change to get respect. Clinton didn’t have a nice ring to it. We tossed around some ideas and came up with Cue, for cueball. And a new me was born.”
“Rodney doesn’t gamble,” Dina scoffed.
“That’s right baby, he doesn’t. He invests. And he invested in me. For a year we made the rounds from pool to poker. And I was always a good bet. We drew the attention of some bad people. Before we knew it, we were working for them. And the stress was more than I could take. I started drinking to build my courage. Then I found that was something else I was good at. Most of my college chums were under the table early when drinking against me. For me it was different. It fueled my ambition to win.” Cue sighed. “Like I said, we made good money. But Rodney knew we could make more if we weren’t in debt to some very nasty people. So, we broke off to do our own thing in Vegas. A bad idea. We got into a very high-stakes game, won too much money too fast and drew attention. That night I drank way too much and ran my mouth. Said things I shouldn’t. Rodney and I fought. He said my drinking was a problem and I defended myself. He left me behind. When I got back to the hotel, our friends were waiting for me. I was threatened with a gun. Rodney arrived at the wrong time for him but a good time for me. Things went from bad to worse and there was a shooting. Someone got hurt, and we were arrested while the police sorted it out.”