Robert hesitated before answering. He realised his mistake—Gerry would ask questions.
“He does but she lives a long way away. He doesn’t like to talk about her because he gets upset that he can’t see her.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Does Harley know her?”
“No, this was way before his, and your, time. Now finish up, we need to go.”
We didn’t need to go. Harley’s appointment was just before Gerry’s but it was a good enough distraction from the conversation. With a mouthful of pastry, Gerry slid from the stool and headed down for his sneakers. He was sitting on the bottom step tying his shoelaces when I joined him. Robert had taken a call from Gina, his meetings had been postponed but work was backing up. I could hear his voice rising in annoyance. He’d need to get back into the office at some point.
Life had to move on but Gerry had to come first, and I found myself strangely conflicted. I would do whatever was necessary to help my son, and I was fully aware that my rush to get us over this episode was my way of coping and not necessarily the right way for him.
Gerry and I headed outside while we waited for Robert. The garage doors were open and the Range Rover gone. I assumed Travis had already left. Gary had our car ready, the rear door opened. Although a small thing, I recognised the significance when Gerry ran and slid across the seat so he was by the window. We had progressed from his need to be sandwiched between Robert and me to being back to the place he liked to sit before.
Robert was still on the phone as he closed the front door behind him. Without thinking, he sat in the front seat and continued his conversation for most of the journey.
We arrived at the home and parked next to the Range Rover. Travis was chatting with Ted. The kids surrounded the car, anxious for Gerry to join them while Harley was nowhere to be seen.
“Can I go play?” he said.
“For a little while. I’ll call you when Katrina is ready,” I replied.
Gerry ran off, leading his bunch of friends to the football pitch.
“He’s seems to be doing well,” Travis said.
“He has nightmares every night but during the day, although not his usual self, he does seem to be handling it okay,” Robert said.
“I wish Harley was.”
“What’s going on with him?” I asked.
“He doesn’t want to leave the house, doesn’t want to see anyone, not even Evelyn. All he says is that he didn’t do enough.”
“Did you speak with Katrina? Did she explain this survivors guilt thing?”
“Yeah, I hope it’s something she can get him to come to terms with soon.”
Robert and Travis sat on the bench to watch the boys play. I made my way inside to collect coffees. Ted was referee and already shouting and whistling away.
As I returned, coffees in hand, the office door opened. Harley started to walk out but hesitated when he saw me.
“Hey, darling, how are you?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light.
He lowered his head and mumbled before stepping back and out of sight. I looked up at Katrina; she smiled and shook her head. I guessed she didn’t want me to question what had happened.
I continued to the garden and handed over the coffees. Katrina joined us a minute or so later.
“Harley has decided he’d like to watch a movie for a little while,” she said.
“So, he doesn’t want to come out and play with the boys?” Travis asked.
“No, and I think we need to respect his need for space for the moment.”
“How long will this take?”
“We can’t put a time limit on it. Gerry seems to have adapted a little quicker than I expected but his issues are different. And I have no doubt they’ll come up at some point, but for now, we can’t compare the two.”
“I wasn’t trying to,” Travis replied.
There seemed to be some tension between them and I wondered if Travis was unhappy with Katrina’s approach. She never divulged exactly what was spoken about, just gave us a brief overview. Maybe that irked him.
Katrina smiled at Travis, he stared back. He seemed uncomfortable in her company. I looked over to Robert who raised his eyebrows at me with a smirk on his face as if he understood exactly what was going on.
I called for Gerry who ran over and followed Katrina into the house.
“What?” Travis said, noticing Robert still smirking at him.
“I sense a little tension there, bro.”
“And?”
“You like her.”
“Fuck off. How can you come up with that just because you think there is tension?”
“Because that’s what you do.”
“You’re not making sense. Maybe that gun to your head disrupted what cells you still have left.”
Robert laughed. “Yep, he likes her,” he said to me.
“She’s okay, but she’s a fucking therapist, one dealing with our kids. I do not need some nut doctor analysing me.”
It was then my turn to laugh, and it felt good to hear their banter return.
“I’m going to see if my boy is okay,” Travis said before stomping off.
“He likes her,” Robert said when Travis was out of earshot.
“You don’t know that,” I replied.
“I guarantee it, he likes her.”
“Well, I imagine it would be unethical or something if he made a move on the doctor treating his child.”
“Oh, he won’t make a move. He’ll be hoping his wit and charm will have her falling at his feet at some point.”
“Then I guess he’ll be waiting a while. He wasn’t very polite.”
“That’s the point. If Travis really likes someone, he’s rude to them for some strange reason. Hence the reason he’s still single. He doesn’t quite get it.”
“Says the man who had to be bludgeoned with the fact he was in love and didn’t know it.”
“Yeah, well. That was different.”
“I think she’d eat him alive. She’s very intimidating; it’s that Russian thing.”
Robert chuckled. “Exactly the type of woman he needs.”
“I don’t think you should interfere though. Let’s just concentrate on the boys.”
“I wouldn’t. Not yet, anyway.”
I shook my head and continued to watch the boys kick their ball about. Ted was growing tired. On a couple of occasions he had stopped and rested his hands on his thighs to get his breath back. I’d given up nagging him to quit smoking and had it not been for Michael staying on at the home to help, I doubted he would be coping.
“You know what, I wonder if we should get back to the gym. We haven’t been for a few weeks. It might help, and I know I could do with a workout,” Robert said.
“Sounds good to me.”
When Ted staggered over wheezing and coughing, Robert asked him if he wanted to take the kids for a workout that evening. Ted could only nod. I opened my mouth to speak but he held up his hand.
“Yeah, yeah, quit the smoking, blah, blah.”
I smiled at him as he flopped down on the bench beside us.
Gerry came running down the front steps of the house. “Wait for me!” he called out as he ran across the lawn.
“Gerry!” I yelled. He stopped and turned.
“Don’t you want to talk first?”
“Nah, I need to show these pussies how to play,” he said before running off again.
“What did he say?” Robert asked as he started to stand.
“Something he’ll be in a lot of trouble for later,” Ted replied before chuckling.
“He bloody well will. You wait until we get home, Gerry Stone!” I shouted out.
Despite my anger at his choice of words, I did smile—the old Gerry was making a comeback. Perhaps, on that one occasion, I might let the swearing go.
I heard the front door open and looked over my shoulder. Travis held Harley by the hand and led him to the car. The kids called him over; they wanted him to join them. H
e kicked at the stones and kept his eyes cast down. Travis knelt so he was eye level as they had a whispered conversation. Harley nodded before slowly jogging to reach the game. Although he wasn’t as active as the other boys, at least he was joining in. There was only one moment of awkwardness when Gerry raised his hand to high-five his friend and received no response. Gerry seemed to brush it off and continued to play.
****
I could feel my heartbeat increase as I taped my hands and feet in the changing room at the gym that evening. Robert and Travis had already changed into their workout clothes, and Ted and the boys were circuit training. I hadn’t trained for a while and was looking forward to getting in the ring with Michael. He’d continued his training with Joseph and was proving to be a very talented kickboxer. There had been talk of him getting a fight.
I walked into the gym to see Harley at the heavy bag with Travis holding it steady. A sense of déjà vu washed over me. I’d seen Robert lose it, Travis lose it and even Gerry lose it on that punching bag. I’d actually contemplated removing and replacing it with at least one of a different colour. My senses proved correct. I watched as Harley hit the bag hard, then harder again. His cheeks were red with exertion.
Although bare foot, I began my warm up with a run, keeping one eye on Harley. I watched as he finished with the heavy bag, then moved to the speedball and getting frustrated when he couldn’t hit it. After my run I moved to the ring. Michael and Joseph were sparring and I was to join them. I’d sparred with Michael many times. Robert was heading to the heavy bag and as we passed, he leaned his head to mine.
“I’m watching, don’t worry,” he whispered.
He’d obviously noticed Harley’s determination as well.
I climbed under the ropes and awaited instruction.
“Brooke, great to see you,” Joseph said. He had been training me for a few years.
“It’s been a little while but I think I’m good to go,” I replied.
I bounced on my toes, raised my fists to my face in defence and sparred. Michael was way taller than me and way too gentle. I wanted a proper workout. One of the perils of being married to Robert—no one would take me on for fear of his response if I got hurt.
I was distracted by a shout. Looking over my shoulder I saw Harley throw a punch in frustration. Travis immediately wrapped his arms around him, walking him back and away from the speedball. Harley appeared to be crying or at least sweating profusely. Neither was good. My instinct was to run to him but I had to check myself. Travis was great with Harley. He let him shout and struggle in his arms before he calmed enough to lower his fists. He glared around the room at those that had stopped their workout to watch before turning on his heels and leaving the room with Travis following. Ted gathered the boys together. It was time to call it a night.
Neither Travis nor Harley was in the changing room when I entered. Robert and Gerry were sitting on the bench that divided the room.
“Did you have a good workout?” I asked.
I wanted to speak to Robert alone before I mentioned what had happened in front of Gerry. It seemed Gerry had other ideas.
“You know why he did that?” Gerry said.
“No, why?”
“He wants to be strong so he can fight back next time.”
It was said so matter of fact with no emotion.
“There won’t be a next time,” Robert said.
“He doesn’t believe that.”
“How do you know this?” I asked. To my knowledge they’d spent so little time together lately I found it hard to believe they’d had such an in depth conversation.
“He told me. The first night, he told me he was going to get strong so he could fight back.”
Gerry stood and headed for the shower with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
“I’ll let Travis know, although I’m sure he’s guessed already,” Robert said.
It had always been important that the boys came to the gym, not to get strong to fight but to keep fit. His reasoning worried me.
I showered and changed, meeting the guys in the reception before heading to the car park. As usual, Travis and Harley headed for their own car, Robert, Gerry and me to ours. What wasn’t usual though was when we arrived back home. Travis and Harley headed straight to the apartment, Harley stomping ahead. Gerry stood and watched. I noticed the sadness in his eyes and a pang of anger hit me. I knew Harley was suffering and the anger was unjustified, but my son was hurting at the loss of his friend, and that didn’t sit well with me.
Chapter Sixteen
Gerry’s nightmares continued night after night, although as time wore on, he slowly returned to normal during the day. Robert and I no longer spent each night in his bedroom. We would sit with him until we knew he was asleep then leave, only returning to settle him. Both he and Harley continued their therapy on a daily basis until Katrina called a meeting.
Evelyn was to watch the boys and it would be the first time they would have to spend time together at home. At the home, Harley played, he interacted with the boys but never with Gerry on their own. Katrina thought it time to force that a little.
Travis drove the three of us. I sat in the back constantly checking my phone; it was the first time I’d left Gerry.
“Come on in,” Katrina said as we approached the therapy room door.
The home was quiet as the kids were in summer school for a couple of days each week. Robert thought it important that they used that time to catch up with studies since many were way behind their classmates.
We took our seats as Katrina opened her file.
“Okay, I thought it time to have an update. As you know, I won’t go into detail on precisely what each child talks about in here. They have to know they have my complete trust. But let’s start with Gerry. To be honest, his progress is outstanding. A part of me believes that’s because he has suffered more trauma in his life than Harley so his ability to adapt is greater.”
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Robert, who was sitting the closest, opened it. Ted handed over a tray of coffee.
“He still has the nightmares, although last night he settled straight away without us needing to comfort him,” I said.
“He doesn’t seem to remember his dreams. I believe his nightmares are a way for his brain to discharge the memories, or at least make them more acceptable. Anyway, I think we can cut back to once a week. As you know, his issue was the fear Robert would be killed, not his own situation. He seems to have come to terms that won’t happen now. That doesn’t mean to say he’s recovered entirely.”
“That’s great news,” I said, looking over to Robert.
“Moving on to Harley, his issue is slightly more complicated. But he is beginning to accept he could do nothing more than he did to help. I understand there was an issue in the gym?” she asked Travis.
“He wants to get strong—his words—so he can fight back,” Travis replied.
“I don’t think it’s a bad thing for now. He’s taking control of what he believes is a weakness in himself. I’m not suggesting we encourage it, but let him run with that for a moment.”
Travis opened his mouth to speak but didn’t. He did cross his arms over his chest though. I guessed he hadn’t taken too kindly to being told what to do, and I stifled a laugh. As with their previous meeting, there was definitely something going on between them. The tension was noticeable. However, I didn’t agree with Robert. I was of the opinion that Travis really did not like Katrina.
****
Travis was pensive on the drive home. He seemed to have reverted to the Travis of old—grumpy and only giving one-word answers. That made Robert taunt him a little.
“So she scares you?” Robert said.
Travis looked in the rear view mirror. “Who?”
“Katrina, she scares the fucking pants off you.”
“Bro, you seriously need to drop this. I don’t like or dislike her, and she doesn’t scare me.”
“Fifty dollars s
ays that by the end of the month he’ll change his mind,” Robert said to me.
“Will you grow up, you’re forty!” I replied.
“Just saying.”
“Yeah, well don’t,” Travis replied. “Although…” He gave me a wink.
I shook my head and changed the subject. We talked about the boys, thinking we would arrange a picnic in the woods, something to get them together. With a plan in mind, we carried on our journey.
“I have to go into the office. There’s paperwork I need to go through,” Robert said as we started up the drive.
“That’s fine, go,” I said.
“Do you think Gerry will be okay?”
Like me, Robert had hardly left his side for the past few weeks.
“I’m sure I can keep him occupied until you get home. Now go.”
The car came to a halt and Robert climbed out, offering his hand to help me from the car. He cupped my face with his hands and leaned down for a gentle kiss.
“I’m very frustrated,” he whispered.
Our sex life had been disrupted lately. The most we’d managed was an hour of ‘alone’ time before either Gerry had a nightmare or we crashed out from exhaustion.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really. I have a desire to do some very bad things to you.”
With that, he walked back to the car and gave me a wink as he closed the door.
With the thought of very bad things running through my mind, I opened the front door. The sounds of shouting had me running up the stairs. Harley and Gerry were fighting; Evelyn was trying to separate them.
“Stop that!” I shouted as I crossed the room.
Both boys stopped their wrestling and looked at me. They started to talk at once.
“Enough! What is this all about?” I asked.
“He hit me first,” Gerry said.
“Is that true?” I softened my voice when I spoke to Harley.
He shrugged. “Why?” I asked.
“He was annoying me.”
“That’s no reason to hit. Both of you sit. This has gone on too long. We sort it out now. Evelyn, what happened?”
She told me that she was in the utility room sorting some washing and heard them arguing. By the time she reached the room, they were wrestling.
Fallen Angel, Part 4 - A Mafia Romance: Fallen Angel Series Page 18