Yesterday's Sins

by Wine, Shirley

  Grudgingly she nodded. "I believe you. After I left him, I did research him and his family and discovered that unlike his father, he is widely respected."

  Gregori wasn't surprised. In her shoes he would have done the same.

  "He's nothing like his father. Alex made a vow when his twin was killed he would never expose anyone in his family to retribution through shady deals. He was incensed that their father had left him and his brother so exposed. It's a vow he's never broken. He will walk away from a deal rather than compromise his standards."

  "Emily hinted their deaths were retribution for a deal gone wrong."

  Gregori shrugged and spread his hands. "That's past history. But rest assured, you've always had Alex's respect. The question now is can you live with his actions?"

  He could see she was torn. "What do I do now?"

  Releasing her wrist, he looked at her. "Take it a day at a time, Catriona. Alex wants you all to be together as a family. But that's a decision only you can make."

  Together they walked back to the car in silence; Gregori matched his pace to hers. He paused by the car, one hand resting on the hood as he looked at her. "There's something I need an answer to."

  "Oh? What's that?"

  "Where did you go when you left Brisbane?"

  Kate looked away, unable to meet his steady regard.

  "Where, Catriona?" Gregori caught her chin in the V of his thumb and forefinger, and made her meet his eyes. "And how did you obtain a passport in the name of Kate Audley?"

  "Why?" She watched him, expression wary.

  She never wanted to betray an association with a man Alex and Gregori would have conniption fit over even saying his name, let alone admitting to a close association with.

  "I detest loose ends, especially those I can find no evidence of being official," he admitted with a self-depreciating laugh. "You didn't use the tickets I gave you."

  Genuine amusement lit her face as she looked into his shrewd, intelligent eyes.

  Hot damn.

  Gregori Nicolaides wasn't at all happy she'd managed to give him the slip all those years ago. That she outwitted Alex's second in command so successfully, gave her ego a massive boost. "You were going to keep tabs on me?"

  "Of course. I had no intention of you vanishing for more than seven years. I wanted to give you breathing space."

  It was her turn to be curious. "How did you find me?"

  He shrugged spreading his hands wide. "Alex found you, by the merest accident. He saw you in Auckland and had you followed."

  He gave her another penetrating stare. "You're not going to tell me how you evaded the net of Alex Korda for so long?"

  "No, I most certainly am not." She grinned at him, burning with curiosity. 'What do you mean?"

  "Alex had every plane and ship that left Australia checked for you. How the hell did you manage to evade him?"

  Kate stared at him startled. "A friend of my mother's arranged everything for me."

  He waited expectantly, and she knew he expected her to divulge more. "You'll let it slip some time."

  "I doubt it."

  Feeling light hearted over this battle of wits, Kate returned his smile with one of her own. He leaned down and opened the door assisting her into the low seat.

  The drive back to her cottage took only a few minutes in his sleek sports car. He pulled up outside her gate and turned in his seat facing her. "Has Alex decided to tell Sarah who you are yet?"

  Kate glanced down at her lap, her fingers pleating the fabric of her skirt. "He wants to."

  "And you don't?"

  "Not yet."

  He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his brow creased in a worried frown. "It's your decision, Catriona, but I'm with Alex. She needs to know and soon. Before someone else tips your hand."

  "Is that possible?"

  "With you all living so close it's inevitable." He gave an expressive grimace. "Now she's at school Alex can't monitor what she's told. And people gossip."

  Kate knew that only too well. "I'll talk it over with Alex."

  "He's in the States on business."

  Shocked she stared at him. Why hadn't Alex told her he was going overseas?

  "For how long?"

  "Ten days and then another few back home on his return."

  "And who's looking after Sarah while he's jaunting abroad?" Kate demanded worried.

  "Noni and Maria. And I see her every day. It's not ideal but in your absence it's the best he can do."

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sarah had taken to phoning her almost every evening while her father was away. And for Kate it quickly became the highlight of her day.

  One night the little girl confided, "Daddy says you're our extra special friend."

  Kate was unsure how to answer this but managed a strained laugh. "That's good to know. What did you do today?"

  "Maria and Penny took me shopping for new shoes and clothes. I've growed out of nearly everything."

  Penny? Who the heck was Penny?

  "So what did you choose? And did Penny help?" It was low, but Kate couldn't resist pumping Sarah for information.

  "Penny doesn't help me choose, Kate." Sarah's merry laugh echoed down the line. "Penny just watches."

  It's low key, but Sarah is never without a bodyguard.

  As she recalled Alex's words a relieved sigh escaped. Penny must be Sarah's bodyguard.

  Grimacing as she remembered that phone call, Kate's heart filled with shaky hope. Was it possible to salvage something good from their stormy relationship? Was Alex sincere in wanting them to become a family?

  Could she trust him not to hurt her again?

  He could hurt her, even worse than he had in the past. Love made her vulnerable. Would she be wiser to back off a little, from them both? Her resolve to do so faltered when Sarah rang and invited her to Sunday tea. She had no defence against the breathy pleading of her little girl.

  What harm would it do? Alex was in Australia for another week.

  She was writing up a house sale agreement when the door was pushed open. "Can you spare me a moment?"

  "Gregori. What brings you here?" She rose and ushered him in, shutting the door in Coralie's curious face. That young woman was becoming a serious pest. "Take a seat."

  He folded his lanky frame into a chair, before she sat on the edge of the desk, her foot swinging idly. "Sarah's invited you to The Birches for Sunday tea."

  Apprehension caught at Kate. "Do you have a problem with that?"

  "Are you sure Alex would have no objection?"

  "I can't see why he should." She chewed her lower lip, nervous of his mild manner. "I've been there several times to see her."

  "But always with Alex?"

  "Yes." Anger flared at the question. "Don't you trust me?"

  "It's not that." His grave expression made her anger evaporate. "Alex has left me in loco parentis while he is away. He never mentioned the possibility of you visiting Sarah."

  "I see."

  Kate returned his measuring stare. Warmed by his care of Sarah, but outraged that a trivial invitation was subjected to such rigid scrutiny.

  "What exactly do you see?"

  "It's belittling being questioned like this." Kate's chin tilted with haughty pride. "I will do nothing to hurt or upset Sarah."

  "I needed that assurance." He delved in an inside pocket of his jacket, extracting a small white card embossed with silver lines and hieroglyphics. "Here's a security pass to get through the gates at The Birches. No one is given entry without one while Alex is overseas."

  Kate took the card, frowning. "Thank you. I didn't realize a pass was necessary."

  "Alex never messes with security."

  As she watched Gregori depart, Kate frowned, unhappy at knowing her every move was monitored so closely.

  Sarah was waiting when Kate arrived on Sunday afternoon. She danced down the steps and across to the car door and impatiently tugged on the door handle.

  "Hello,
caraid."

  Sarah threw her arms around Kate before she had time to get out of the car. Kate held her close, swallowing desperately.

  "I've been waiting and waiting. The clock has taken simply ages to go around."

  "It's so hard to be patient, isn't it?"

  "Do you get butterflies in your tummy too?"

  "You bet." They both laughed. Kate ruffled her hair affectionately. "My brother teased me."

  "So does Daddy." Sarah clutched Kate's hand and skipped at her side. "Do you want to see my outside playground?"

  Kate looked down at her eager face. "I'd best say hello to Maria first."

  Sarah tugged her through the wide swing doors to the kitchen. "Maria. I've brought Kate to say hello."

  The plump housekeeper turned towards her, smiling. "Hello Kate. Sarah's been watching the clock since lunchtime."

  "So she said." Kate much preferred this homely, motherly woman to the sour faced harridan who ruled the nursery.

  "Kate wants to see my outside playground, Maria." Sarah was fairly dancing with impatience as the two women exchanged pleasantries.

  "Off you go then, caro. I'll take afternoon tea to the playroom at four."

  "Thanks, Maria."

  Affection gleamed in Maria's eyes as they rested on Sarah's eager little face.

  "Come on, Kate."

  "Slow down," Kate protested laughing as Sarah dragged her down the corridor. "Do you want me to fall over?"

  Sarah's grin was totally unrepentant. Looking into her glowing face, heartache seized Kate. She was so like Chris, with his vivid, laughing zest for life. But her grey eyes were all Alex. Sarah ran ahead, giving Kate a few moments respite.

  "Will you push me?" Sarah was on the swing, waiting.

  "Sure." Her voice was rusty.

  "Higher. Higher."

  "That's high enough." At Kate's refusal, Sarah made an exclamation of annoyance. "Move your legs out straight as you go forward and then bend them as you come back. That way you can swing yourself."

  After a few shaky attempts Sarah got the rhythm. Kate savoured the simple pleasure of watching her daughter at play.

  For years, she had endured the agony of not knowing anything about this child. Now the knowing brought such sweet pleasure, it bordered on pain. It took all her self-control to resist smothering Sarah, to make up for the missing years.

  The blonde ponytail swished backwards and forwards. Sarah squealed when the swing hit the high points. After ten minutes she tired and jumped off.

  "Can we look around the garden?" Kate held out her hand. Sarah placed her small one in hers; the simple trusting gesture warmed a cold spot in her heart.

  "It's bigger than your garden." There was no bragging in the statement. Sarah had pleasing manners. Alex had done a marvellous job raising her. She wasn't at all spoilt by his vast wealth.

  "These roses are going to be beautiful." The huge beds were covered in the bronze foliage of early spring.

  "My mother loved roses."

  The wistfulness in Sarah's voice was nearly Kate's undoing. "Most ladies do."

  "Well I don't," Sarah blurted out scowling fiercely.

  "Why not?" Kate asked cautiously.

  "My mother loved those dumb flowers. Why didn't she love me instead?" Sarah's bottom lip jutted out at a pugnacious angle.

  Regret pierced Kate's heart as she was left in no doubt that Sarah carried the wound of her mother's abandonment. She knelt and wrapped her child in comforting arms. Sarah leaned her head into her shoulder, her distress plain.

  "Because she loved roses doesn't mean she didn't love you." Kate smoothed her hair back meeting Sarah's eyes without flinching.

  "If she loved me she wouldn't have gone away."

  What could she say that Sarah would understand? How could she make this child understand when she struggling to understand herself? She silently prayed for guidance.

  "Adults get hurt too," she said, her arm around Sarah's fragile shoulders. "Your mother must have been hurting badly to have left you with your daddy."

  "Daddy said she was too young and hurt."

  Thank you, Alex. Kate was comforted knowing hadn't betrayed her to her own child.

  "But not too young to make sure you were safe, and cared for." The child pulled away puzzled. Kate held a hand against a petal smooth cheek. "You love your daddy, don't you?"

  "He's the bestest Daddy in the world."

  The wealth of love and trust in those few words was humbling. Seven years ago Kate had staked everything on Alex giving this child his unstinting love. Her faith hadn't been misplaced.

  "Your mother knew he would love you." Kate subdued a husky catch of torment.

  "Why was she hurt?" There was anxiety as well as curiosity in the question.

  "Her father and twin brother had been killed in a car crash, just before you were born."

  Kate was filled with a sudden crazy urge to blurt out the whole story, to confess the whole, unhappy truth. An urge so overpowering it nearly overwhelmed her. Was this why Alex never trusted her alone with Sarah? The weight of this un-sanctioned visit suddenly became very heavy. But as she looked into Sarah's innocent eyes, she knew she couldn't do it. She could never destroy Sarah's faith and trust in her father, no matter how justified.

  "That's bad." Sarah leaned her head against Kate's shoulder.

  Unnerved by the seriousness of their conversation, Kate made a great show of dusting the knees of her jeans, desperate to divert Sarah before she made a slip and broke her promise to Alex. "The knees of my pants are quite damp."

  "Let's go inside. Maria must have afternoon tea ready. I'm starved."

  Kate gave a shaky chuckle. How often she and Chris had rushed into their mother's kitchen asking, Mum what's to eat? We're starved.

  Sarah dashed ahead leaving Kate shaking her head. Where did all that boundless energy come from? Sarah surprised her with her ability to go from deadly serious to the casual in less than a heartbeat.

  Maria met them in the hall a laden tray in her hands.

  "Go and wash your hands, Sarah." She met Kate's eyes over the child's head, dropping a conspiratorial wink.

  Sarah dashed up the stairs at break neck speed leaving the two women to follow at a more leisurely pace.

  "She's a live wire that one." Maria shook her head her eyes alight with affectionate amusement. "She keeps Mr. Alex on his toes."

  "She's remarkably unspoiled, considering." Kate waved a hand to encompass the luxurious surroundings.

  "Mr. Alex can't abide spoilt kids." Maria looked at Kate, obviously curious. "High spirits is another thing all together."

  "This room must be a child's paradise."

  "Maybe." The older woman glanced around with shrewd eyes "Small compensation for what young Sarah's missing. Toys don't take the place of a mother or brothers and sisters."

  Kate's gaze skittered away. How much does Maria know? Probably far too much for my peace of mind.

  Sarah returned with Noni in tow.

  "Good afternoon, Noni." Kate was determined not to let the old besom throw her off balance. "I wasn't expecting to see you this afternoon."

  "What are you doing here?" There was no mistaking the jealous glitter in the jet eyes and the tightly pursed mouth.

  With a flash of percipience, Kate realized the old woman must feel seriously threatened by her presence, and was touched by an inconvenient sympathy.

  "Miss Audley is here at Sarah's invitation, Noni," Maria rebuked the old nurse sternly. "I'm sure you can find something to do while Sarah entertains her visitor."

  The old woman grumbled and complained but left them alone. Maria frowned at her retreating back. "She's very jealous of anyone coming close to Sarah or Mr Alex."

  Tell me something I don't already know.

  Kate knew if she ever assumed her rightful place in this family there would be a massive power struggle. She shivered at the prospect.

  Maria left them to enjoy the sumptuous spread. Kate's appetite, woe
fully flagging over the past three weeks, surfaced and she helped Sarah do justice to the delicious cakes and muffins.

  "That was scrummy." Sarah gave a huge satisfied sigh as she drained her tall tumbler of milk, leaving a ring around her mouth.