Yesterday's Sins

by Wine, Shirley

  Kate watched Sarah, defensive and spoiling for a fight. She glared at Alex. "You said Kate was a friend of my mother's."

  Despite the gravity of the situation Kate couldn't help chuckling. Sarah turned on her. "You lied to me."

  "What was a lie, Sarah?" she asked keeping a straight face. "What have I told you that was a lie?"

  "The music box."

  "It wasn't a lie, caraid, your music box belonged to my mother and when she died my father gave it to me. And your father gave it to you. How is that a lie?"

  "You said your family died in a car crash."

  "Sarah," Alex said warningly. "Watch you manners."

  Kate waved aside the interruption. "I wish with all my heart, that was a lie, Sarah. But my Daddy and my twin brother did die in a car smash and are buried not far from your cousin Marcos."

  "Why did you abandon me?"

  Bloody Noni. I'll give that woman a piece of my mind.

  Let me get this right, Kate prayed silently. "He found you under a bush?"

  "You know he didn't, silly," Sarah responded scornfully. "I was in a funny crib at the hospital."

  "Dear me, what a careful place to abandon a baby."

  Sarah glared at Kate, her bottom lip jutting out pugnaciously. "I'm lucky I had daddy."

  Kate took her time answering. She could almost feel the other adults holding their breath.

  "No, you weren't lucky." Kate looked at Sarah but never attempted to touch her. "I deliberately left you with Alex."

  "Oh." Sarah chewed her bottom lip, and then demanded, "Are you really married to my daddy?"

  "Yes."

  "Why did you leave him? Didn't you love him either?"

  Kate winced at Sarah's bluntness. There was a lot of Alex in her. "Things are not always simple between adults. When you're older you'll understand better. When I left, it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. My father and brother had been killed, your father and I had been unhappy for a long time and then you were born too soon, a tiny delicate baby. You were so tiny—you looked like a pound of butter with arms and legs. I was too sick to look after myself, let alone look after a baby. It was best for you that you stayed with your Dad."

  "Kate was very ill, Sarah," Alex said quietly. "And grieving the loss of her family."

  He held out a hand and Sarah took it moving closer to his knee. Her little face puckered in a frown.

  "But why did you stay away?" Sarah wasn't completely mollified.

  Kate stared at her hands, trying to find an answer when help came from an unexpected source.

  "People who have experienced something as bad as Kate did, develop an illness called depression." Luke leaned forward until he was close to Sarah. "It can take years before that person is well enough to cope with normal living."

  "Were you ill?" Sarah's gaze swivelled towards Kate.

  "Yes." Kate gave Luke a grateful smile. With swift understanding he had pinpointed the dreadful malaise that dogged her for years. It was Alex's intervention that ensured she'd healed. "But because of the help I've had from you all, I'm nearly better."

  "Are you going to live with us again now you're better?"

  Kate hesitated. Was she ready to begin living with Alex again?

  "That's for Kate to decide," Alex said firmly, gathering Sarah into his arm and giving her a hug.

  "Do you want me to?"

  "Would I have to share Daddy with you?"

  "Of course." Kate struggled to hide her amusement at the possessive question. "Would you mind?"

  "Yes." Sarah looked from Kate to Alex, her eyes rebellious, her bottom lip jutting out.

  "Oh dear, that's a real shame," Kate said gravely, glancing at Alex and catching the slight tremor at the corner of his lips. She heard the small choking sound Gregori made the heroic effort to disguise as a cough.

  "Why?" Sarah demanded, curiosity winning out over her belligerent stand.

  Kate didn't want to air her suspicion here but knew it may be her best chance of winning over Sarah.

  "It seems we have a problem." Kate held Alex's eyes steadily, silently willing him to understand. "If you won't share Alex with me, it makes it difficult for me to share your new baby brother or sister with you."

  Alex stiffened, surprise making his eyes flare wide. Their gazes clashed and held.

  "That does present a problem," he managed with very creditable aplomb.

  "Are we going to have a baby?" Sarah left Alex's side and ran across to Kate her eyes shining with excitement.

  Kate nodded, watching Sarah. "It's such shame you won't be able to share it. You could get quite lonely while Alex visits me and the new baby at my house."

  Like that's ever going to happen. No way would I feel safe in my house after today.

  No one spoke as Sarah struggled valiantly to maintain her desire not to share Alex with Kate and yet have a share in a new baby.

  "Why don't you negotiate a compromise, Sarah," Gregori suggested evenly, breaking the taut silence. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and withdrew a note book. "Let me draw up a schedule of times that Alex and Kate can enjoy alone, and times that you and Alex can enjoy alone and times when you all share. Does that sound fair?"

  Sarah nodded, giving a huge relieved sigh as Gregori gave her a face saving way out of her dilemma.

  "Alex and Kate?" Gregori asked, according Sarah the courtesy of formally hearing them voice their consent.

  "That's fine," they spoke together. "I'll draw up discussion papers for you all look at. Okay?"

  "Noni will be surprised," Sarah informed them artlessly. "She said my mother would never return and never have another baby."

  "Did she now?" Kate's eyes gleamed with a militant sparkle. "We'll see about that."

  She leapt out of her chair and strode across the room opening the door yelled for Noni at the top of her voice in a stream of fluent, gutter Greek.

  She shut the door and waited.

  Gregori and Alex sat staring at her their mouths hanging loose with shock.

  "You called me?" Noni stuttered as she opened the door, her eyes nearly popping out in shocked disbelief, uncertain she was hearing correctly.

  "I did." Kate savoured the moment of victory.

  Noni was the prime impetus for her learning Greek. She'd put her time with Joe Kallinikos to good use, vowing she would never again be disadvantaged by not knowing what was being said in her presence.

  "You knew Alex and I were married so why did you cause mischief with my cousin?"

  Noni looked thoroughly discomforted, her jet eyes darting from Alex to Gregori to Kate, then she saw Emily and paled visibly.

  "You've been with this family a very long time," Kate switched back to English, underlining her proficiency in Noni's mother tongue, "but there can only be one mistress in any household. If you want to make a fight of it, remember Alex is my husband and I have weapons you can never use. I can and I will."

  "There will be no fight, Noni, will there?" Alex said very quietly, every word laced with steel.

  "No." Noni shrunk visibly, looking what she was, an old woman.

  "Later, you and I will discuss your dealings with Jessica Howard." Alex fixed his old nurse with a hard look.

  With each word, Noni shrunk further and further into herself. Watching, Kate was filled with an overwhelming surge of pity. The Korda family was this old woman's whole life.

  Without them she had no one.

  "Then we understand each other," Kate's voice softened. "There's no reason why you can't rock the cradle for the next members of the family. Why don't you go upstairs with Noni after breakfast, Sarah, and help her get the cradle. It probably needs refurbishing."

  Noni's jet eyes snapped from Kate to Alex and her old seamed face creased into a wide delighted smile and her spine stiffened. Animated, she looked ten years younger.

  Sarah skipped off happily with Noni asking in fluent Greek, "What were those words Kate used?"

  "No self-respecting lady uses words like
that. If I catch you I'll wash your mouth out with soap," Noni snapped, glaring over her shoulder at Kate. "If I hear your mama using them again I'll wash her mouth out too."

  "Would you?" Sarah gasped.

  "Noni?" She stopped and looked at Kate, her hand on the door handle. "If ladies don't use words like that how come you understood them?"

  The old woman fought against amusement and lost.

  "Hussy," she hissed, giving a deep earthy chuckle.

  Alex shook his head after the door had closed behind them. "Don't let me hear you using that language again Catriona. It's so vulgar. But that was very nicely done."

  "She's an old witch, but I felt sorry for her."

  "We'll leave you." Gregori went across to the door, holding it open for Emily and Luke.

  "No. Stay." Alex's command halted them. "There is something else we need out in the open."

  Kate looked from Alex to the others. Luke was watching Alex eyebrows raised. She heard Gregori inhale a sharp breath. Emily watched them, blue eyes narrowed.

  And Kate braced herself for what was coming.

  "I can't live with this a moment more," Alex said grimly. "Somehow, Catriona's cousin has got hold of a damning document. I will retrieve it, but you all need to understand how grave this leak is."

  Kate laid a hand on his arm. "You don't need to worry about Jessica, Alex. Everything she possesses about our family will be retrieved and delivered to you. And the leak will also be plugged."

  Alex throat worked as he swallowed. "Are you saying what I think you are?"

  Kate nodded. "We don't need to concern ourselves about Jessica."

  "What's so all fired important about these papers?" Luke broke into their conversation.

  "You don't have to do this," Kate said quietly.

  "Yes, I do." He caught her hand and lifted it to his lips. "What Jessica Howard has uncovered is an affidavit sworn by Kate's father, Fraser Howard."

  "An affidavit? Why would Kate's father swear an affidavit?" Luke asked, brows drawn in a heavy frown.

  "The day Marcos was killed; Catriona came to see me swearing her innocence for the hit and run that left him dead." Alex dropped her hand. "I didn't believe her and had Gregori give her drugged coffee and kidnapped her."

  For several stunned moments no one moved or spoke.

  "You bastard." Luke's hand clenched and took a step towards him. "And you had the nerve to involve me."

  "Alex? You didn't?" Emily's blue eyes sparked with anger. "How could you?"

  "At the time, easily." He shook his head, lips twisted. "Later, I did wonder if I'd gone insane. I not only kidnapped Kate, I forced her to marry me."

  "And Sarah?" Luke asked; his expression so grim Kate shivered.

  "Sarah is the child I demanded to avenge Marcos's death."

  "Wasn't Kate's cousin convicted for killing Marcos?"

  Alex nodded, looking directly at his brother.

  "And I thought our father was the unscrupulous member of the family. Looks like you have as few scruples as he had."

  Alex flinched and ruddy colour crept up his cheeks but he didn't back away from Luke. "That's a fair assessment."

  "Was this why you were asked to step down as CEO? Why you've broken away from the family firm and moved to New Zealand?"

  "One of the reasons, the others are not germane."

  "You could have told us this before we moved here."

  Again Alex nodded. "Emily knew, but I should have told you Luke, before I asked you to move into Kate's old home."

  "Why didn't you? Is this the reason we've never been accepted by the rest of the family? The reason you've never told anyone who Sarah's mother is?" Luke rounded on Emily. "You knew all this? And went along with Alex. How could you?"

  "Luke it's not our business. This is between Kate and Alex. It's their past and they've obviously made their peace with each other."

  For a moment no one moved or spoke.

  Luke leaped across the space and gripped Alex by his shirt front, his other hand drawn back to strike. Alex made no move to defend himself.

  Kate moved quickly and gripped Luke's arm. "Don't Luke. Please don't."

  Luke looked at her his expression murderous. "You don't think I should thrash the living daylights out of him?"

  "You can if you insist," she said quietly. "But it wouldn't be a fair fight. You see Alex won't lift a finger to defend himself. What satisfaction would you get out of that?"

  "You'd defend him?" Luke looked from her to his brother and then dropped his hands. "You're right. It's no fun pummelling a coward."

  "Luke," Emily said sharply stepping forward to catch her son's arm. "How can you say that? I taught you better."

  Luke flushed but didn't retract. "What else would you have me call a man who can treat a woman the way Alex has treated Kate? Only a coward takes on a woman who can’t fight back."

  "A coward? Alex? Me not fight back?" Kate stared at Luke and then burst out laughing. "Is that what you think?"

  She glanced at Alex and saw amusement lighten his grey eyes.

  "What's so funny?" Luke looked from one to the other, his bewilderment obvious.

  "You are," Kate managed to bring her laughter under control. "You see Luke, Alex seriously underestimated me."

  "Not fight back?" Alex chuckled. "You try invoking a Highlander's rage sometime, Luke."

  Gregori stepped forward. "And the blame doesn't solely lie with Alex either. I carry my share of blame."

  Luke bristled all over again, blue eyes glittering with anger. "You were both in on it? Does the rest of the family in Australia know this?"

  "No," Alex said lips twisting in wry mockery. "And to protect Sarah and Kate, I'd prefer it stays that way."

  "Have you no remorse? No shame?"

  Alex raked a hand through his hair. "I have both. But to regret it and wish it undone would be to wish that Sarah didn't exist. And that I can never do."

  "Me either," Kate said quietly.

  "You know what? I think you two deserve each other." Luke looked from one to the other shaking his head and without another word he stormed out.

  Emily gripped Alex's arm. "He'll calm down."

  "I know." Alex laid his hand over hers. "But thank you for your help and support."

  "We'll leave you." Gregori opened the door for Emily.

  When they were alone Kate laid her arm on Alex's. "You didn't need to do that."

  "Yes I did." Alex cradled her hand I his larger one. "For far too long, you've had to bear the pain and grief brought on by my actions."

  Kate nodded and gave him a serious look. "Without Joe, I'm not sure I would have survived. He sent his son to Brisbane to bring me to him."

  Alex's expression was as grim as she'd ever seen it. "Did he know you were leaving us?"

  "No, Jimmy met up with me at the Brisbane rail station after he learned I'd left the hospital." Kate shook her head and smiled softly. "I was whisked from there by chopper to Sydney. And Joe nursed me back to health. I was so sick."

  "In mind and body?" Kate nodded and he drew her into his arms and held her close. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

  "We need to let it go, Alex."

  "In a moment."

  Something in his expression set her heart thundering. Kate looked down at the floor, anywhere but at Alex. She had nowhere else left to run.

  "There's something else you have to ask, isn't there?" Alex asked tipping her face up with a long finger.

  For several long, moments grey eyes duelled with blue.

  Could she take that last leap of faith and surrender her independence and live with Alex? Content to follow where he led. He would always be the leader, it was the way he was. She hovered for long tense moments.

  "Can I come home?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the words.

  Before the words were out she was crushed hard against him, his face buried in her hair.

  "Oh God, Cat," he whispered in a hoarse, anguished voice that brought tears to her
eyes. "I thought I'd never hear you say those words."

  They stood so close together as to be one, seeking and giving solace for the long years of separation. Alex lifted his head and held her face between the palms of his hands, his eyes tormented. "Why have you forgiven me? I don't deserve your love."