HARDER

by Olivia Hawthorne

  “He was manipulating you,” Caleb said. “He sounds like the kind of man who breaks a woman down by any means necessary until she’s a shadow of her former self. Much like my father.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” I said and snuggled in against him. “Never again though, never again.”

  “When the doctor comes back, I’ll get the okay to go home,” Caleb said, “and you will know how safe you are from this point forward. He’ll never touch you again, Brooke. I pledge that to you.”

  The funny thing was that I believed it. I felt the sincerity and power in Caleb’s words, and felt it in my bones that he would lay down his own life for Lucy or me.

  And that’s what love was about. That’s what made a family, not a marriage certificate or blood or even living together, what made a family was that knowledge that they would die for you and you would die for them.

  And even though we weren’t anything but dating right then, I knew in my heart of hearts that Caleb Harder was family, the only partner I’d ever need.

  He was mine and I was his.

  * * *

  “Brooke, baby girl,” Caleb whispered in my ear and shifted so I sat up limply. “Come on, we’re going home.”

  “They said you could leave?” I murmured and rubbed my eyes. “What time is it?”

  “It’s just past three and we can go home,” he said. “I’ve called my driver, he’s going to pick us up.”

  I stood and helped him to his feet. His leg shook and you could tell he was in pain but he was stoic about it. His teeth were clenched and his hands trembled as he settled into the wheelchair though.

  “Do you need a cane or something?” I asked. “Or do you trust me to help you up to my place?”

  “We’re not going to your place yet,” he told me. “We’re crashing at a hotel for a couple nights, your apartment needs a clean up.”

  “Oh,” I said and pushed him towards the front entrance. It would be good to get out of the hospital. Even though we were in the Emergency room of a small town hospital, it was noisy and I had learned things about my fellow townsfolk I didn’t think I ever needed to know.

  “I know you want to get back in there, and we’ll go pick out some things for you and Lucy when we wake up, but we need to give the cleaners time to tidy up before you go back. I can’t stand the thought of you scrubbing my blood out of your carpet.”

  “Or Lucy seeing that,” I said quietly. I agreed with his assessment and we met the driver in the front of the hospital.

  “I picked the hotel with a pool,” he told me on the way there, “we can tell Lucy it’s a mini vacation.”

  “Perfect, she’ll be thrilled,” I said and fell into an exhausted silence. The entire night had been so much to take in I felt like my brain was melting down trying to process it. I just wanted to climb into bed, right into Caleb’s arms and dive into sleep.

  “There’s got to be a way to keep him out of Lucy’s life,” Caleb said almost under his breath like an after thought.

  “He might decide to stay away,” I replied.

  “Not a man like that, knowing you’re living with me and I’m raising her as my own daughter,” Caleb said.

  “Wait, what?” I asked.

  “Well, I imagine that’s where this is headed,” Caleb said slowly and deliberately. “Let’s not beat around the bush here, Brooke. We’re both adults and we both know there’s this undeniable attraction between the two of us. I imagine it will lead to us being together forever at some point soon.”

  “I know we talked about it,” I said. “I guess it’s just surprising to me that you want to raise Lucy as your child. It makes me feel so good.”

  “She would be my daughter,” he said softly. “Once we make that lifelong commitment to each other, I will be her dad, her kids will be my grandkids and any other children we have will be her siblings.”

  The thought of having another child or two with Caleb made my heart soar. I’d come to terms with the idea that Lucy was my only child long ago, and I’d never let myself want any more.

  But now that the possibility was out there, I knew I did. I had to be honest with myself and I wanted another baby or two or three and I wanted them with Caleb.

  I smiled and took his hand and held it until we pulled up in front of the hotel.

  Caleb could walk with help, but again I could tell his leg hurt him. We checked in and he asked for toothbrushes and toothpaste sent to our room as well as some very late room service. All they had were sandwiches, but they would do. Until the moment Caleb mentioned food, I was fine, but my stomach was protesting loudly now.

  I helped Caleb sit in an overstuffed leather chair and opened the door for room service.

  I hadn’t even been aware that our town had such a nice hotel, but I was grateful for it. The king sized bed looked perfect and avoiding my blood stained apartment was just the thing to do at the moment.

  We ate in silence and I didn’t make it even halfway through my sandwich before I had to go to bed. Exhaustion flowed over me and I crawled between the sheets without washing my face or brushing my teeth. Caleb joined me shortly after, I felt him slip in behind me and envelop me in his arms but I barely moved.

  The mattress dipped as he adjusted himself and I rolled against him, felt his warmth against me and fell deep into a dreamless sleep.

  * * *

  “We should head back and get some of our clothes and then go get Lucy,” I said the next morning. Or early afternoon I supposed it was. We’d slept in and ordered brunch in our room. Caleb’s leg was still sore but he insisted it was improved greatly.

  “I’ll come with you, we can stop at my place too. I should tell my father and Tara that I’ll be gone for a few days so they can make arrangements.”

  “I don’t know if I ever want to go back to that apartment,” I said quietly, thinking of how Rolland’s presence had tainted it. I didn’t know if I’d ever feel safe in there again.

  “Then don’t,” Caleb said.

  My head shot up and I asked, “What do you mean?”

  “Let’s find a house together. We can stay here until we find a suitable place, but I hate the thought of you being there, especially when I can’t be with you.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “More serious than I’ve ever been, Brooke. Even with Anna I had these undeniable doubts. With you, there’s nothing, just all systems go and full speed ahead.”

  “I feel the same way, if I hadn’t gotten pregnant I’m sure I would have dumped Rolland early on, but you know the story now. With you I have no desire to run away or leave you. I’m all in, Caleb.”

  “Then it’s settled. I’ll call my realtor and we’ll start looking at places for us to live. As a family.”

  I smiled and tears of joy stung my eyes but didn’t spill over. I was just so overwhelmed by the love I felt for Caleb and the obvious love he had for me. It wasn’t just that he was going to care for me, but he wanted my child to be safe and loved, and that meant more than anything to me.

  I knew in that moment that this was it; Caleb and I were together forever. Everything we’d done in our lives had lead up to that moment, and everything we’d done had brought us together.

  Nothing would ever tear us apart.

  Chapter 28

  “I want this room!” Lucy screamed and took off like a shot through the massive master bedroom of the mini mansion we were touring.

  I laughed, “Not on your life, little missy.”

  “This is our room,” Caleb laughed and reached out to grab her. He winced as she accidentally kicked his still healing leg, but he held her above his head and put her on his shoulders.

  “But I want the biggest room,” she protested with a glint in her eye. She was joking, she knew the pink flowered room down the hall would be hers if this ended up being the house for us.

  “We’re sharing a room though,” I said, “so we need the biggest one.”

  “And if you have a baby you will need to put a
crib in here,” Lucy contemplated and glanced down at me.

  Caleb laughed and swung her around, she clung to him and giggled madly. “You’re a cheeky monkey,” he said and set her on the floor.

  “And not very subtle,” I added and watched her scramble over to the huge window and jump onto the window seat.

  “You can see the stable from here though,” she pouted. “If I get a pony I want to be able to see him.”

  “You can see the stable from your room too,” I said and then stuttered. “I mean if Caleb likes this house. It’s up to him.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you this is our decision?” he said and smacked my behind playfully.

  I squeaked and jumped away from him but he reached out and grabbed my arm. I looked up at him and smiled. “Maybe I just like hearing it.”

  “Then I’ll say it a million times again…this is our decision, Brooke, because without you my life loses meaning. Without you I might as well live in a tent, it would all be the same to me.”

  “I could live in a tent,” I smiled up at him, “as long as it was with you.”

  He kissed me, Lucy made her usual noises of disgust at us showing affection and our realtor decided to join us at that moment with her chipper voice. “How are you kids making out in here?” She paused, I broke away from Caleb and she grinned. “Like bandits I see. Or teenagers.” She snorted at her joke and I laughed.

  “You caught us,” I said and watched as she fluttered around the room explaining the architectural details and features that would make us want to buy it.

  This was the eighth house we’d toured. Being in a small town meant a small selection of properties, but it also meant that once we found one we had to snatch it up or it would be gone before we had a chance.

  Patricia, the realtor, stood in front of the huge windows and put her hand to her throat dramatically. “Can you imagine waking up to this view every morning?” she gasped as if she hadn’t seen that view a hundred times before. She was right though; it was a good view.

  I reached out for Caleb’s hand and walked to the window to join Patricia. “I could get used to this I suppose,” I said and looked over at Caleb. He was watching me and gave me a questioning look with his brows raised.

  “Do you want it?” he asked.

  “I…well…yes,” I replied and exhaled when he swooped towards me, picked me up and swung me around.

  “Perfect, it’s ours,” he said and I laughed in joy until he set me down and put his arm around my shoulder.

  It was funny, that amount of happiness. It scared me.

  I’d had a good upbringing, it’s not like I was abused or anything, but Rolland had given me this strange sense of fear that stuck in my gut at all times now. It was like I expected life to go bad at the drop of a hat, and things were so perfect with Caleb I felt like they couldn’t go anywhere but down.

  I shook this feeling off and let myself experience the happiness that was making my body almost vibrate with excitement.

  “I get my pink bedroom?” Lucy asked, skipping back over to us.

  “Yes, you do,” Caleb replied and ruffled her hair.

  “When do I get my pony?” she asked, staring up at us expectantly. “I already have a name for him, Mister Feathers. And I want him to be white so he looks like a unicorn.”

  “Wow, you’ve got this all planned,” I smiled. “We’ve got to move in first before we start picking out ponies.”

  “So I do get one?” she asked slyly and I crouched down to kiss her forehead.

  “Sure, why not?” I laughed.

  “Anything you want,” Caleb said and I whipped my head around to shoot him a glare. It was fine to give in for a pony, but we didn’t have to go crazy. “All righty, a pony and then anything your mom approves of,” he chuckled.

  “Yes, Mommy is the boss, remember that,” I laughed and Lucy put her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. It was gone in an instant though, she ran down the hallway to her room and we heard her singing her favorite song from Frozen and I imagined she was spinning around like a princess.

  She was a princess though, and I felt like a queen with my king.

  “I’ll get the paperwork drawn up,” Patricia said in her businesslike tone. “What offer would you like to submit?”

  Caleb smiled at me, turned to her and said, “Full asking, all cash. I want to get in here as soon as possible though.”

  Her face split into a wide grin and she said, “Excellent, I’ll go do that now. Please lock up on your way out.”

  With that she flitted away like an excited little bird…a bird who was going to make a nice commission off this sale.

  “Thank you,” I said and leaned back against Caleb’s chest.

  “Thank you,” he replied and kissed the top of my head. “You’ve brought me happiness again and for that I’ll always thank you.”

  I sighed and closed my eyes, listened to Lucy singing and the beating of Caleb’s heart.

  This was home.

  * * *

  We moved in a week later and a few days after that we had a meeting with Rolland’s lawyer. He was begging us to drop the charges against his client but he had no idea that I was out for blood and wanted Rolland behind bars as long as possible.

  “All I’m saying,” his lawyer told me and leaned across the table to either intimidate me or engage me somehow…either way it wasn’t working, “is that Rolland needs help, but putting him in jail isn’t going to get him the help he needs.”

  Caleb’s lawyer, Mister Miles, stuck his hand out protectively and said, “Please, stick to your own side of the table. My clients aren’t interested in your client’s well being, and they’re certainly not interested in seeing him walking the streets any time soon.”

  “Unless…” Caleb said and brought his hand up to his chin in thought. “Can I speak to you for a moment?” He looked at Mister Miles.

  “Sure thing,” his lawyer replied and stood.

  I got up as well but Caleb put his hand on my shoulder and said, “In private.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked as they walked to the corner of the room and huddled together, speaking in low whispers.

  I sunk back down to the chair slowly and avoided looking at Rolland’s lawyer. The man was the definition of a shark, with his greasy slicked back hair and cheap polyester suit and grin with a mouth full of teeth.

  I didn’t like him.

  It felt like an eternity but Mister Miles and Caleb came back to the table and sat back down on either side of me.

  “My client has a proposition,” Mister Miles told Rolland’s lawyer. I glanced over at Caleb and he gave me a supportive smile. “My client, Caleb Harder, will drop all charges against your client–“

  “What? No!” I yelled and jumped to my feet.

  “Brooke, it’s okay, hear him out,” Caleb said, touching my arm and gently pulling me back into my chair.

  “Why would you do this?” I asked, still distressed.

  “You’ll see,” he said and nodded towards Mister Miles. I sighed and let him settle his hand on my thigh to comfort me.

  “Okay, after that little outburst what do you have to tell me?” Rolland’s lawyer smirked. He was so oily I shuddered as his gaze draped over me. He made me feel unclean even with just a look.

  “My client is prepared to drop all charges against your client if he will agree to allow my client to adopt the little girl, Lucy.”

  Rolland’s lawyer sucked in a long breath, glared at us and said, “That’s low.”

  I was elated though. My happiness fluttered around in my chest and bubbled out in an excited laugh. Caleb and I had discussed ways we could get Rolland to sign over custody of Lucy to us, but this hadn’t crossed my mind.

  “Thank you,” I told him. “For this alone I will thank you forever.”

  “It’s perfect,” Caleb replied. “I can adopt Lucy and be her dad. I can’t imagine a single thing that would make me happier than having her as my daughter lega
lly, to complete our family.”

  I kissed his cheek and shot Rolland’s lawyer a dirty look. “Take this back to that piece of shit and tell him if he gives up rights to his daughter we’ll leave him alone,” I said.

  “I will be advising him to not give up custody but ultimately that’s up to him,” he replied with a sneer.

  “This concludes today’s meeting,” Mister Miles said, stood and offered his hand to Rolland’s lawyer. He stood up and shook it limply, gave Caleb and I a long look, turned and left.

  I couldn’t help myself; I jumped up, threw my arms around Caleb’s neck and slipped onto his lap.

  “You are amazing,” I said and kissed him. “Did you just think that up?”

  “It came to me when his lawyer was paddling along over the charges. We both know Rolland will serve time for the things he did to you, but this gives us leverage.”

  “I will let you know when he calls,” Mister Miles said and packed up his briefcase. “I wish you two all the best though, it seems like this little girl will be much happier away from your ex.”

  He left and Caleb and I went home to have a quick lunch before picking Lucy up from school and taking her to soccer practice.

  That was the best part of living with him now, being able to spend more time with him than before.

  It hadn’t been easy for him, leaving his father’s house, but he’d done it anyways of course. Now there was a revolving group of nurses and cooks who cared for Caleb’s dad around the clock. The one blessing of his dementia had been that he didn’t seem that aware of what had happened. He didn’t seem to realize that Caleb had moved out yet.

  I couldn’t bring myself to care about him yet and had a feeling I never would.

  As long as Caleb and I were happy together, the old awful man could live alone.

  And I knew we’d be happy for a long time. Forever even.

  Chapter 29