Roommates

by Whitney Lyles

  She hadn’t but didn’t want to hurt Jewels’s feelings. “I think so.”

  “Well, it’s the best there is. And I mean the best. The only other place you can get it besides a Glow Girl, like me, is on QVC. And let me tell you, you don’t want to get it there. The prices are marked up, and they won’t give you a free consultation. I can get you a deal you won’t be able to believe on a whole entire line of products. I can match your skin tones and tell you what season you are. It’ll be great.” She pushed open a door. “Now. Here is where you would be living.” Elise looked at a tiny bedroom with a window peering into the front yard. It was minuscule but had hardwood floors and a cute bookshelf built into the wall.

  When she turned around, Jewels was watching her with a vacant look in her eyes. But in a split second, a smile snapped onto her face and she clapped her hands together. “Let’s show ya the rest!”

  They looked at a tiny bathroom and Jewels’s bedroom, both covered with fluffy pink things. While walking back to the yard, the phone rang.

  “Let me grab that! You show yourself to the back, and I’ll meet you out there.”

  Elise let herself out a sliding door and into a small yard with a cobblestone path and a small, perfectly trimmed square of green lawn. Perfect for Bella.

  “Well, whatdaya think?”

  The place was the Ritz-Carlton compared to her current living situation. But there was something odd about Jewels. However, Jewels had a strange way of looking at her, as if she were trying to figure her out. “The place is really cute.”

  “Well, c’mon inside. We can sit down and talk a little bit more about the place.”

  After Elise sat down on the couch she noticed it. A square, patent, pink case with shiny little snaps and the Glow logo written across the side of it. A small tag dangled from the case, which read, “Jewels Anderson, four-star consultant and master of makeup artistry.”

  That’s when she knew she should get up and run for her life. Clutch her purse to her chest and claim she had a contagious form of diarrhea. If she didn’t come up with an excuse to get out of there quick, she was going to be sucked into the clutches of relentlessly high-pressured makeup sales from Jewels. Then she remembered that she’d already mentioned she was free for the rest of the afternoon. What the hell had she been thinking?

  “So, do you think you’d be interested in moving in?” Jewels asked.

  “Umm . . . well, I actually have another place to look at on my list.” It was a bold-faced lie, but she really didn’t know if she wanted to move in. She needed to think about it, get to know Jewels a little more. “A friend of a friend. I promised I’d stop by. So, I’ll have to wait to give you an answer.”

  “That’s fine. I know this isn’t a decision that you can rush into.” Jewels told her a little more about the technicalities of the lease, and that utilities were included in the rent. Elise had foolishly begun to think she’d make it out of there without having to look at a single Glow product when Jewels stealthily crept in, as smooth and skilled as any assault at a department store makeup counter. “When I was on the phone just a minute ago I was just thinking about your lovely hazel eyes, and this new line of eye shadow we just got in. I haven’t tested it on anyone yet, and I thought well . . . since you’re here, it would really help me to get an idea of what this would look like on a pretty face. You have such lovely skin tones. I can only imagine it would look perfect. Do you have just a second for me to test it out? I’ll give you a free sample of the shadow?”

  Come up with an excuse. Now.

  “Um . . . er . . .” She listened to little snaps unclasp, like a nurse peeling the protective wrap off a fresh syringe.

  “The color is called Lava Green. Don’t you just love that?”

  “Well, I never really wear eye shadow, actually. I’m not big on makeup. Just a light amount of lipstick, and mascara.”

  “That’s it?” She began to pick through her box, pulling out tubes and vials. “Gosh, well this is going to be a real blast for you then. I’m gonna make you look great.” She paused and looked at Elise, her eyes wide, her face stern as if she were a neurosurgeon. “This is going to be a life-changing experience, Elise.”

  Elise prayed for another phone call, for Jewels to be distracted by the doorbell, or even a fire. However, she decided to make the best of the situation and find out more about Jewels. This was not a difficult task. Jewels was more than willing to discuss her life. In fact, Elise probably said five words during her entire makeover.

  Born and raised in Alabama, her parents divorced when she was five. Her mother then took the kids to Baton Rouge where she married a Baptist minister who was later arrested for fraud. She had five brothers, two sisters, and a passel of stepsiblings, two of whom worked in the adult entertainment industry. She dropped their sparkly pseudonyms, as if Elise were supposed to jump from her seat and beg Jewels to hook her up with autographed headshots. She’d followed her boyfriend, a sailor in the United States Navy, to San Diego.

  Elise found it all very interesting and was so absorbed in Jewels’s stories that she sort of didn’t mind her drawing all over her face. The most exciting thing that ever happened in her family was Stan’s tattoo.

  An hour later Jewels had applied three different face creams, two different eye shadows, tear-proof mascara, blush with sunblock in it, flavored lipstick, and a waterproof, food-proof, and kiss-proof lip liner.

  “Are you ready?” she said.

  Ready to leave? Yes. Her stomach was growling, and her mind searching for ways to make it out of there without purchasing a single Glow product.

  Jewels held up a hand mirror in front of Elise. It took all her strength to swallow the shriek that nearly exploded from her lips. Worse, this was one of those grueling moments when laughter struggled to cut itself loose from her throat like an out-of-control puppy slipping from its leash. There were certain times laughter was totally inappropriate, and this was one of them. It would hurt Jewels’s feelings, but she feared that if she opened her mouth to say one single word, her ability to maintain composure would go down like a ship on fire. She used all her strength to control the muscles in her face, to keep from revealing the hysteria she felt inside.

  She looked like a cheap and colorful piece of artwork sold on the side of intersections on Sunday afternoons. Her eyes were a green sunrise, her lashes as dark and looming as spiders’ legs. Her cheeks popped out like two red traffic lights, and her lips looked like the same kind of pink glue traps that Jewels sported. She realized that if she didn’t leave soon, Jewels could start spraying her with self-tanning cream. She’d seen a few bottles in there.

  “Well . . . what do you think?”

  She swallowed. “Well, it’s uh . . . different . . . than what I normally wear.”

  “I knew you’d love it!”

  “Um . . .”

  “You are not going to believe the kind of deal I can get you, sweetheart. This whole entire set will cost you eight hundred dollars on the QVC. Eight hundred dollars. And guess how much I’m gonna charge you?”

  “No idea.”

  “C’mon guess.”

  “Ummm . . . I don’t know. Four hundred dollars?”

  She slapped Elise’s knee hard. “Do you think I would charge you, my future roommate, that kind of money? No sir. I can get you the whole set for two hundred and fifty dollars. This cream alone would cost two hundred on the Home Shopping Network. She held up a small tub of cream, then unscrewed the lid. “Here. Smell it again.” Elise inhaled something similar to the tea rose perfume her grandmother had worn for over twenty years. “And let me tell you something. All the celebrities are using this. Jennifer Aniston just bought a case of it.”

  Who did she think she was fooling? “I really can’t afford it. As you know, I’m in the middle of moving, and I’m trying to save.”

  “I can work out a little special for you. I usually don’t do this, but I’d be willing to take off fifty dollars. Off the whole set. It’s a real b
argain.”

  Even if Jewels took off two hundred and forty-nine dollars and ninety-nine cents, Elise wouldn’t fork over the penny. “That’s still way too much. I really can’t afford to be splurging on makeup right now.”

  “Well, which products do you like? I can work out a little package for you.”

  “Actually, I didn’t even bring my wallet. I didn’t think I’d need it. I always thought roommate hunting was one activity that was supposed to be free. Ha!” She chuckled, but the stoic expression on Jewels’s face suggested that she couldn’t take a joke. For once, she looked defeated.

  “Well, all right. I’ll send you home with some pamphlets and brochures, and you can look them over. Just get back to me when you make up your mind.” But judging from her dry tone, they both knew Elise would never be ordering a single thing from Glow.

  “I also have this, if you’re interested. I don’t tell everyone about this, but you seem . . . like you would be open to it.” She reached for another case. Elise felt like kicking the box like a soccer ball from her hands and running to the car. “I also host Passion Parties. They are the latest rage and a real blast. You might know some girlfriends that are interested in having one.”

  She didn’t know anyone who would want to host a party for a makeup line called Passion, or any makeup line for that matter.

  But when she opened the box, Elise immediately realized she wasn’t talking about makeup. What lay inside was X-rated. Dildos, vibrators, creams, and sex toys galore rested inside the little chest. “Now, I know you said you didn’t have a boyfriend. But you might need a little helper.”

  Maybe she did need a vibrator, but she had come here looking for a roommate. She grabbed her purse, popped from the couch, and blurted out, “I just remembered something. I have to pick someone up at the airport.”

  “Oh?”

  Elise was already heading for the front door. “Yes. They’re flying in from . . . Singapore. Thanks for doing my makeup. Gotta run.”

  She was practically sprinting down the driveway when Jewels called her. “Wait. You forgot these!”

  Elise turned around and found her waving a stack of Glow pamphlets and brochures. She was afraid if she took one step toward Jewels she might pull out some other briefcase, this time filled with cocaine and opium. “I’m in a hurry. Just mail them to me.”

  She sped from North Park without looking back.

  When she pulled into Casa de Paradiso, Justine was standing outside their apartment smoking and watching Glorious D. His head bobbed up and down beneath funnels of cigarette smoke as she eyed him. She was edging into her parking space when she noticed their door ajar. Inside stood Max, holding a guitar and chatting with Jimmy. Her lava green eyes nearly exploded from her face. Even from her distant and slightly obscured view he looked hot. She could see his muscular forearm, the way veins ran down the muscle. She looked at his hair hanging loosely around his neck. Justine and Glorious D waved, and she noticed that her arm was a little unsteady from surprise when she waved back.

  Remain calm. Calm, she told herself. Inhale. Exhale. She’d saunter inside, after making a few witty and insightful comments to Glorious D and Justine, which Max would overhear and think how sharp she was. Then she’d calmly say hello to him as if they were old friends. Hopefully, he’d tell her how happy he was to run into her because he’d gotten her note and had been meaning to take her up on the offer for white pizza.

  She glanced in her rearview mirror just to make sure she didn’t have anything in her teeth. A startled moment passed as she actually thought that a local prostitute had snuck into the backseat of her car and was now waiting for the right opportunity to carjack her. “Damn,” she mumbled. She had forgotten about how bad she looked. There was no way in hell she was going in there looking like she’d just come from a meeting with Elvira’s makeup artist. She looked for something, anything, to wipe away the remnants of Jewels’s project. A week ago the Volkswagen had been littered with napkins and receipts, and now she wondered what in the world had possessed her to clean her car.

  When she glanced back at the door, she noticed something even more alarming than her extreme makeover. Max was backing out of their doorway, saying good-bye to Jimmy. She had only one choice. She threw the car into reverse and screeched from her parking space. Glorious D turned to look, and Justine held out a hand, her brows furrowed. Elise had no idea if Max turned around, too, because she sped from the lot.

  Driving from the parking lot like a madman was repairable, but facing Max looking like a stripper could cause irreparable damage.

  13. By the Beach

  “What the hell happened to you?” Justine asked after she got home.

  “Yeah,” Jimmy said. “You drove off like the cops were after you.”

  “Oh, that.” She’d stopped at Jack in the Box, had wiped off her lipstick, and was now sucking on a vanilla shake. “My sister went into false labor.”

  “Oh,” they said.

  “Is she okay?”

  “Oh yeah. Fine.”

  “You look different,” Jimmy said. “Did you cut your hair or something?”

  “No,” Justine said. “It’s her makeup. Did you get new makeup?”

  She shook her head and told them about Jewels. “So what have you guys been up to all afternoon?” She asked, hoping to get some information on Max.

  The only information she managed to pull from the Cheecherses about Max’s visit was that he had stopped by to drop off a guitar for Jimmy, who was getting ready to leave for his tour. If he had any interest in going to Paesano with her, he certainly wasn’t showing it. She might as well accept that she’d been blown off.

  She spent the following week searching for a roommate and working on her novel. Late Friday afternoon, Carly called. Elise was in the mood to hit up a good happy hour and had actually been thinking about calling her to see if she wanted to join.

  “What’s up? I was just thinking about calling you actually.”

  “Really? I’m just getting ready to leave the office. But I wanted to call you quickly and tell you that I have good news,” she said.

  “You got the raise!”

  “Raise? Oh, um, no. I didn’t get that yet. That’s not what this is about.” Her voice sounded a tad discouraged, and Elise sort of wished she hadn’t asked. “Actually, I have good news for you,” Carly said. “I think I found you a place.”

  “You did?”

  “Yes. It’s just temporary, though. Three months. Our intern, Nicole, is going to Germany to study abroad for a semester, and she needs to find someone to cover her spot in the apartment. She wants to sublet to you. I know it’s not ideal to move for just three months, but at least it’s something. And while you’re staying there you can look for a new place. It’s close to me and by the beach, and the rent is unbelievable.”

  Relocating for only three months didn’t sound ideal, but nevertheless she was curious. “Do they take pets?”

  “Yes, they do. They actually have a cat. They said it was fine if you have a dog, just not a big dog. And I told them your dog was small.”

  “Where do they live?”

  “Mission Beach.”

  “Are they still in college?” Mission Beach was a cross between college town and tourist land. It wasn’t her first choice for a beach town, but it was definitely a step up from City Heights.

  “Yes, they are in college. But Nicole seems very responsible and mature, and I’m sure she wouldn’t live with people who partied the way we did in college. Ha!” She began to laugh. “But listen, I’ve gotta run.”

  “Do you want to meet up for happy hour?”

  “Um . . . That sounds good, but I really should try to get some work done tonight.”

  Elise was a little disappointed. It was Friday, and she didn’t want to sit home with the Cheecherses all night. She wanted to go out, and it was times like these when she really thought a boyfriend would come in handy.

  “Nicole said to just go ahead and call the
m. Their names are Iris and Megan, and they’re sisters. They’ll be expecting you.” She gave Elise the number before saying good-bye.

  She wasted no time and called them. Living with college students wasn’t her dream come true, but it was better than living in a cardboard box with her dog. And lately she’d been wondering if she would end up in a cardboard box or living with her parents.

  An hour later she had a meeting.

  It was around four o’clock in the afternoon when Elise arrived in Mission Beach. The ocean was as sparkly as a gold Christmas tree ornament as the late afternoon sun crept closer to the horizon. She figured many people had decided to leave work early, because the waves were dotted with surfers.

  South Mission Beach was one large cul-de-sac of run-down beachfront apartment complexes and bars where not only did customers without a shirt and shoes get service, but they were welcome. There was sand on the floors of almost every establishment, and the whole city seemed to be filled with the faint odor of surf wax and beer. If one was shopping for “I Love San Diego” shot glasses or postcards of frighteningly tanned women lying topless on beach towels and sporting fluorescent G-strings, South Mission was the place. It was a mecca of cheesy tourist souvenirs, which strangely bore no actual representation of the area. Elise had always imagined people from all parts of the world receiving postcards of women who looked like they belonged in a Whitesnake video. People in say, Canada, must believe that these half-naked creatures of eighties rock ran rampant along the southern California coast, when in reality there might be the occasional woman with a Coppertone tan, bleached hair, and fluorescent G-string, and she was usually visiting from somewhere else.

  The first thing people saw when driving into Mission Beach was the gigantic wooden roller coaster. Painted white and colossal in size, the coaster never seemed to stop running, and every time Elise thought of Mission Beach she could hear its wheels rolling on the tracks and the faint sound of excited screams.