I always think back to the pain in my mom’s eyes when my dad left. The broken heart she endured during the last few years of her life. At the time, these were the thoughts that plagued me daily. She wasn’t afraid of dying. I think a part of her embraced it. She knew that when she left this world, she would finally stop hurting.
I shake off Reagan’s silly words, not allowing them to sink too deeply. “Well, he loves a lot of things. So let’s not get carried away. What we should focus on is our girl, who just picked out the prettiest bridesmaids’ dresses, and go out to lunch to celebrate!” I exclaim, changing the topic and mood.
“We had lunch right before we came here,” Dani reminds me.
I shrug her off, head into the dressing room and shut the door.
“Snack then. Celebration snack.” In the form of cheeseburgers.
After getting both of us measured and the dresses ordered, we made our way over to Benji’s Café, where we all settled with lattes and tarts—a hot chocolate and two cherry Danishes for me.
“Andie, do you mind me asking a personal question?” Reagan starts in soon after we sit down.
“As long as it doesn’t come between me and this Danish, have at it.” I shove a huge bite in my mouth needing to make it to the center where all the gooey cherries are.
“How did your mom die?”
Dani chokes on her coffee while I pause mid bite. My tongue was just at the center.
“I’m sorry. I just… Linc talks about it. He’s just not really good with details…”
Dani turns to her and asks, “Wait, you talk to Linc?” I just stare her down and nod because my mouth is full.
“Well, kind of. I mean we have lunch sometimes… Or dinner…or both. I mean…”
“Dude,” I mumble, trying to get my bite down. “Your brother is going to kill you. Shit, or kill him if he finds out you’re hanging out with my brother. And wait, why are you hanging out with my brother?”
“Better question is how?” Dani chimes in.
Reagan looks nervous. A trait you don’t see on her often.
“I’m not really sure how we started. I, well, I met him that day when he showed up at the office and Roman tried to kill him.”
That he sure did, big idiot.
“So yeah, doesn’t explain how you two are like, hanging out,” I state, taking another bite. God this is so delicious. I should have ordered four.
“Well, when you two wanted to be alone, he left with me. And he said he wanted to wait. And well, you two…were kinda busy.” She blushes, admitting she knew, or heard, for that matter, how our fight ended.
“Any who. He just looked like he needed a friend. So I offered. I gave him my number. Told him if he needed a familiar face around town he could call.”
My damn brother. I should have known he would spot Reagan in a heartbeat. The cute innocent type that he can’t help but challenge himself with. I need to make sure to have a talk with him about staying clear of her. I really don’t want my baby daddy killing the only living relative I actually care for.
“Great, but you know Roman’s going to flip if he finds out.”
“Ram may not be so happy either. No offense,” Dani says as she turns to me.
“Well, they aren’t going to find out,” Reagan replies, sipping on her latte. “Listen, I just want to be there for him. He needs a friend. We’re just pals.”
I want to argue and tell her it’s not fine and to stay clear. I love my brother, but he isn’t the most stand up guy and trouble seems to follow him. I just don’t want to hear I told you so from the Holloways as they stone me out of the family because my brother fucked with their baby sister.
But then there’s a side of me that also feels grateful to Reagan. Aside from his faults, he does need a friend. He didn’t have any better of a childhood than I did. We might not be related by blood, but we do share a past.
When my mom died, I was still a minor. And the shitty thing is that no matter how long you’ve been taking care of yourself and playing the adult, to the child welfare system, you’re still a kid. My dad was nowhere to be found, regardless of all the attempts my mom made to write or search. In the end, I was forced to live with the only living aunt who would take me in. She’d never been married and was a huge bitch. She hated kids, which meant she hated me. I was pulled out of the only town I knew, away from my school, my friends. Dani’s parents, the saints they were, offered to take me, but my aunt fought, wanting the insurance money my mother had set up.
I lived with her for almost a year before my dad knocked on her door.
He looked older. Aged. He and my aunt fought, and then he told me he was taking me home with him.
He’d explained to me that a few weeks before that time, he had received an abundance of letters that had been lost in the mail. The letters my mother had sent.
Almost a year it took for him to receive them.
To find out my mother had died and left me with no one.
It made me hate him more.
He didn’t care enough to find me before.
I cried. Yelling at him for being such a horrible husband. A horrible dad. Screw those letters. Why didn’t he come when he heard she had died?
He admitted to being a coward. I agreed.
He was exactly that.
The last place I wanted to go was with my father, back to his new home, with his new family. I wasn’t going to be the red-headed step child. The damper in their probably perfect life. But my options were either that or stay with Aunt Edith. So I went with him.
That’s when I’d met Lincoln. Linc to everyone else. He swears if I give away his full name, he’s going to find a way to make me pay. Linc was Lana’s—my dad’s new wife—son from a previous marriage. Linc, being just as rebellious, was never in favor of their marriage. He’d started acting out when his parents got divorced. From the stories, it sounded like my dad faced the brunt of his outbursts, which made me happy. He deserved it.
For the couple of years I lived with them, Linc and I became really close. We leaned on one another when it got to be too much for my dad and his mom to carry the weight of two out-of-control kids. I’m pretty sure the only reason their marriage was saved is because both of us finally left home.
Linc just disappeared.
I finally accepted the offer from Dani and her family and stayed with them.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Reagan says, breaking my inner thoughts.
“Oh no. It’s fine actually. My mom died of multiple sclerosis. She was diagnosed when I was really young. Hers was considered mild, so she lived for many years with it. It wasn’t until I was about twelve that it kicked into high gear. Her body gave in three years later. She died when I was fifteen.”
Reagan’s eyes become sad. It’s the reason why I never tell anyone about my mom. I don’t want sympathy. The time I had with my mom was nothing but the best. She made sure to be both parents, even if one was completely absent. She tried to hide her guilt for what I was enduring through her sickness. She didn’t want her child having to take care of her. She wanted me to go out with my friends and enjoy my life.
I just wanted to be with my mom.
“Seriously if you look at me all sad like that any longer, you’re going to owe me a Danish. For real. It’s fine. Change of subject, though?” I throw out there because I’m over tarnishing this day with my past.
“Yes! Okay, so I wanted to tell you guys,” Dani says with a squeal, “Ram and I picked a venue!”
The rest of the second lunch, as I’ll call it, since I definitely ate three Danishes, was full of awws while listening to Dani’s excitement for her wedding, a little baby talk, and laughs, because apparently hot chocolate can be added to the list of gas triggers. And then we talked about all the things Ram and Roman are going to do to their little sister if and when they find out she’s hanging around my brother.
Finally, leaving the café, we all go in for a three-way hug.
“Oh my God
, I’m so glad I came home. This has been the best year. Dani, I love the dress, and thank you guys for the pep talk. I’ll make sure to wear a hard helmet, just in case the cat gets out of the bag.” Reagan winks and takes off in the opposite direction to her car.
Dani and I drove together since she picked me up from work. I grab her hand as we walk down the busy street, the sun feeling great on my face. I squeeze her hand, as a silent thank you for just being a good friend.
“What the fuck are you all smiles about?”
Since I’m not paying attention, and the guy comes out of nowhere, I trip and fall into a solid frame. Somehow releasing my hand from Dani’s during the fall, I lift my palms to the man’s chest, and before I even put a name to the voice, I stare into the eyes of Frank Gillson.
“Frank?”
“Yeah, me, the one you called in a complaint on, and got fired from the goddamned bank.” His eyes seem darker than normal and his face is unshaven. I give him a quick once over. He doesn’t look as put together and douchey as he normally did at the bank.
“Dude.” I try and push off him, but his hands are now squeezing my shoulders, making it impossible to escape his grip. “Fucking let me go, douchebag.”
“Not until you admit you were the one who made the anonymous call. You got me fucking fired!”
His voice raises to an uncomfortable volume. Dani is now next to me, trying to pull his hands away from me.
“Frank, let her go,” she pleads. “You’re hurting her.”
“Good,” he snarls. “You listen up, you little bitch. You fucked with the wrong person.” He doesn’t say any more and releases me with a hard shove, almost knocking me backward. Thankfully, Dani grabs for me, and I end up falling into a couple behind me.
Frank takes off through the street and disappears while we stand there, in shock, staring at where he faded into traffic.
“Oh my God, Andie, are you okay?” Dani grabs me.
“Yeah, shit. I’m fine.” Kinda fine. My heart is racing out of my chest, and I’m still trying to catch my breath. I’m no sissy, but that freaked me out a little. Frank wasn’t looking too hot and angry certainly doesn’t look good on him.
“What the heck was that all about?”
“No idea.” But my expression must not be convincing because she gapes at me.
“Oh no,” she whispers, her fingers going to her lips. “What did you do?”
I huff, shrugging my shoulders. “What? You were so upset! And I knew just telling Harold off wasn’t good enough. Let’s just say I avenged you.”
“By?” she pushes, her brows tugging together in concern.
“I may have called in an anonymous complaint that Frank harassed me into doing things in the back room—on company pay—and that he gave me crabs.”
“ANDIE!” she squeals, stopping a few people walking.
“I may have also called three separate times,” I admit. “But he was hateful to you!”
And nobody is mean to my friend without consequence.
Technically It’s Not a Lie…Right?
“I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS going to be a work party,” I grumble as I put some snacks on a plate for Andie.
Reagan crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. “They’re my friends. Why are you so grumpy today?”
I set the plate down and let my gaze wander to Andie, who is sitting on the couch next to Dani and Ram. Earlier today, we’d gone to lunch at a restaurant across the street from Babies R Us, and we ran into an old co-worker of hers. She’d been laughing and jabbering on until he said hello to her. When she dropped her shopping bags, and I stopped to help her pick them up, the guy left without even a goodbye. The whole encounter unnerved me, but she blew it off and changed the subject. A twinge of jealousy has settled in my belly ever since. I wonder if they’d fucked before. I quickly run that thought out of my head. I don’t want to think about Andie fucking anyone but me.
“Sorry,” I tell my sister. “Andie has just been oddly reserved today.”
“Maybe she’s having second thoughts,” she teases with a grin.
I glower at her and she giggles.
“Lighten up! I was just kidding. But, since you’re in a sour mood anyway, I guess now’s the time to tell you,” she says with a sigh. “I’m seeing someone. Someone you know.”
My eyes dart all over the living room looking for Linc’s sorry ass. She’d invited him for some goddamned stupid reason—claiming she wanted Andie to be happy—and I’ve been annoyed ever since. He and I haven’t exchanged words since we tried to kill each other in my office. I don’t plan on ever speaking to the motherfucker again.
But so help me, if he’s banging my sister…
“Hey,” Chase Douglas chirps as he enters the kitchen. Our HR manager is casual since it’s a Saturday and dons a Carolina Tar Heels hoodie. “What do we have to eat? I’m starving.” Despite his casual outfit, his shoulders are tense. Chase is never tense. “What’s up, Roman?”
I give him a shrug of my shoulders. “My sister here was just explaining that I was going to have to kick her new boyfriend’s ass. Want to help?”
His eyes widen in horror, and Reagan curses at me. “Dammit, Roman,” she huffs. “You’re a prick.”
My eyes flit to the living room where Linc sits sprawled out in my sister’s recliner like he owns the damn thing. It rubs me the wrong way.
“Please don’t kick my ass,” Chase says with a nervous chuckle. “You’re like twice my size, and I really like your sister.”
I snap my attention back to my friend. Ex-friend now. “Wait? You’re fucking my sister?”
“ROMAN!” This time Reagan slaps her hand towel at me. “You’re an animal!”
Glaring at Chase, I ignore her. “Isn’t this against some HR policy?”
“I, uh, come on, man—”
I stalk over to him and stare down at him. The poor guy looks positively petrified. I guess between Chase Douglas and Linc Carter, I’d rather have this guy dating my sister. At least Chase is the type to be faithful to her, put a ring on her finger, and make a good husband one day. Linc, on the other hand, looks like he’d fuck her every time they are alone and would end up stupidly knocking her up by accident.
Like you knocked up his sister.
I shake away the thought and force a grin at Chase. “Congrats, you two. Hurt Reagan, though, and I’ll hurt you.” My voice is playful but my threat is serious. Chase swallows and nods, the threat felt by him.
Snatching up a plate piled high with snacks that I know Andie will want, I saunter into the living room. I’m a little more relaxed now that I realize Reagan isn’t dating that fuckwit. Ram pulls Dani into his lap to make room for me on the sofa. Once I sit, I set the plate on Andie’s lap, she lets out an appreciative groan.
“Oh my God, I love y—” she starts but quickly shoves a pinwheel in her mouth. “Mmmm, so good.”
Dani snorts at her. “Didn’t you just finish telling me how stuffed you were from dinner? I thought you two had steaks before you came over.”
“Shush,” Andie grumbles as she downs another pinwheel.
I slide my arm around her and lean back on the sofa. When I lift my gaze, her brother is glaring at me. I smirk at him.
“What are your intentions with my sister, anyway?” Linc questions with a growl. “I mean, she’s pregnant with your kid. Will you pay child support? She already has one deadbeat dad in her life.”
Andie stiffens at the sudden outburst, but I’m infuriated.
“Fuck you, loser,” I snap. “I’m taking care of her, and it’s none of your goddamned business.”
Linc rises to his feet but Reagan and Chase are both at his side before he can jump over the coffee table to attack me.
“Come help me set up my new DVD player in my room,” Reagan clips out at him. “You need to step away and calm down.” She grabs him by the elbow and leads him from the living room. Chase follows behind them like a lost fucking puppy. When they’re gone, I ignore the
whispering between Dani and Ram beside me and look over at Andie.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur and press a chaste kiss to her cheek. “He just pisses me off.”
She swipes at a tear with the back of her hand but continues to shovel in ‘lil smokies and cheese cubes like someone might snatch them right off her plate at any moment.
“Babe…”
“So!” Dani chirps, from beside me. “How did that new client meeting go? Ram was telling me you met with that construction company that is in dire need of rebranding. Was it a win?”
I give Andie’s shoulder a comforting squeeze before chatting to my future sister-in-law about stuff she doesn’t understand or care about. I suppose we all could use the subject change. When she gets on the subject of a new line of soft towels at JC Penney’s, I let my thoughts wander.
I’m not like Andie’s father. Late at night, when the lights are all off and we’re cuddled naked together, she tells me stories of her past. The ones of her mother make her cry. The ones of her father make her scream. The very idea that Linc compared me to him makes me sick.
I’d been thinking hard lately about our future. There’s no future for me without her. One day, when she fully warms to the idea of us, I’m going to put a ring on her finger. I’ll spend my days making her heart happy and my nights making her body happy. We have this beautiful child on the way. I’d thought we had plenty of time to plan and settle into a life that would be ours together. But fucking Linc makes me feel like I’m doing a disservice to her. Should I be ring shopping? Picking out fucking venues like Ram and Dani. Suddenly, I feel pretty awful about everything.
I did knock her up.
I should be giving her a shiny rock and an expensive wedding with all the bells and whistles. I should be giving her much, much more.
But Andie’s different. Despite Linc’s venom-filled words, I know her better than anyone. I’m one of the few people she drops her guard for. Rushing certain things with Andie can only mean disaster. She comes around to ideas on her own time. When you tell her how it will be, she usually turns and hightails it in the opposite direction. Hell, it’s one of the reasons I haven’t come right out and told her I love her yet. I do fucking love her. I love that little bean in her stomach too. But I’m afraid if I tell her too soon, she’ll panic like she tends to do. That she won’t be ready to say the words back, and it’ll be a catalyst for disaster.
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