So I wait.
I keep those words tucked carefully away in my heart until the right time. Until a time I know she’ll hear them.
After a little bit of chatting, Andie calms and settles against my side. I’m stroking her hair when Reagan and Chase come back in. Chase sits in the recliner and she plops down in his lap. His hand rests on her hip while she absently pats his arm. They seem comfortable with each other. If anything, Reagan looks content. I only want my sister to be happy. I’m warming a lot quicker to the idea of these two than I originally thought. Mom would love Chase, so that’s also a win in my book.
“So when do you find out the sex?” Chase questions.
I slide my palm to Andie’s swollen belly and rub it. “We already know it’s a boy.”
Andie laughs and playfully slaps my thigh. “It’s a girl actually.”
My siblings and Dani all laugh, but it’s Chase, Mr. Serious, who frowns at us. “I thought that ultrasound didn’t happen until like five months.”
“They don’t go for another month,” Dani answers for us. “They just like to argue for the sake of arguing. Don’t you?” She nudges me with her foot.
I shrug and hug Andie to me. “Arguing is our foreplay, isn’t it, babe?”
She sits up and lifts a brow at me. “I hardly call it arguing when we all know I have the best insults. You just stand there with your big mouth hanging open catching flies while I whip you with mean shit. You like it.” A playful grin tugs at her lips.
“If I recall,” I tease. “It’s you with the big mouth. Huge mouth. I mean for it to fit my thick—”
“Yuck!” Reagan bellows. “Enough of that!”
Everyone chuckles, and I start in on Andie again. “I say mean stuff too. My Your Mom jokes are better, and you know it.”
Andie scoffs. “They’re terrible and stupid. Like you.” Her nose scrunches. “In fact, you’re so stupid, you thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. Our kid will not go there…because he’s a she.”
Linc snorts from behind us as he saunters into the living room and plops down on the floor beside the recliner. Ignoring him, I pretend to glare at Andie. “You’re so stupid, they had to burn down the school to get you out of the fourth grade.”
She laughs and swats at me. “Fourth grade was hard. I’m still not as stupid as you, though. In fact, if we had a penny for your thoughts right now, we’d all get back change!”
Dani howls, and I flip her off before narrowing my eyes at Andie. “You’re so stupid, you grabbed a bowl when I said it was chilly outside.”
Andie scoffs. “But I love chili! Don’t even play around when it comes to food. You’re so stupid, you went to Babies R Us and asked where the babies were.”
I frown because that really did happen. “I thought we were checking out a day care center. How the hell was I supposed to know it was a store?”
Reagan shakes her head at me. “You guys are so weird.”
“Your mom is weird,” I retort back.
Dani starts laughing so hard, she can’t breathe, but it’s Andie who punches my thigh. “That’s your mom too, nerd!”
“Her mom is weird,” I try with a grin.
Reagan sticks her tongue out at me. “Well, your mom is so weird she made you take me on your first date as a reminder for birth control!”
Andie grumbles. “A lot of good that did.”
“Your mom is so weird she made you wear that denim outfit with rhinestones sewn all over it to your eighth-grade dance because she said bling is how you get a boyfriend,” I retort and waggle my brows at Chase. “Whatcha think? You like Reagan’s bling bling?”
“Is her vagina bedazzled?” Linc questions, sitting up, suddenly a little too interested in my sister.
“NO!” Reagan hollers. “Oh my God, you’re such a punk, Roman!”
“Your mom is a punk,” I tell her with a snort.
“Our mom is the most beautiful woman on the entire planet, and you fuckers just solidified my place as the favorite child,” Ram tells us smugly as he wiggles his phone that’s recording us.
My siblings and I all shout out at the same time, “Love you, Mom!”
We’re all still laughing when my phone rings. I pull it from my pocket and see it’s Diane calling through.
Shit. This isn’t good.
“I need to take this,” I tell Andie and stride from the room.
Once I’m in the guest bedroom, I slink into the bathroom to take the call.
“Hey.”
“Hey. Sorry to call you on a Saturday,” Diane says with a huff. “I really need to see you about something.”
“Is there a problem?”
She sighs. “A tiny one. You can fix it, though. Just meet me tomorrow morning at the house. We’ll take care of it together.”
I groan and run my fingers through my hair. “Diane, you’d tell me if something was wrong right? I can’t lose this.”
“I know. I’ll take care of you. I always do.”
“Is that all?”
“For now.”
“Bye, Sweeney.”
“Bye, Holloway.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose after I hang up and will the stress to leave my tense shoulders. Keeping things from Andie is difficult. If she finds out about this…
Shaking away that thought, I twist the knob of the door and swing it open. I’m not paying attention and bump into Linc’s solid chest. When our eyes meet, they lock in a fierce hate-filled glare.
“Is there a problem?” I spit out.
“Besides you being in my way,” he snaps back, “no.”
“Were you eavesdropping?”
“I have to take a goddamned piss. That okay with you?”
I let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t overhear and push past him. I’m nearly to the door when he growls out his words.
“Hurt my sister and I’ll fuck you up.”
I’d said similar words to Chase earlier but had never expected to hear them back the same night.
“Yeah, and if you even think about looking at mine, I’ll fuck you up. Looks like we’re about even,” I tell him with a wave of my middle finger. She may be dating Chase, but I don’t like the way Linc looks at her as though she’s something for him to conquer.
When I make my way back into the living room, Andie isn’t there. I find her in the kitchen raiding the trays of snacks. She looks beautiful today. I can’t get over how fucking sexy she looks in her damn leggings. The woman is still too tiny for maternity clothes but her normal fitted outfits have become too snug. I love how the leggings hug her fine ass and give me easy access to her pussy.
Today, she piled all her blonde hair up in a messy knot on top of her head and she’s wearing hardly any makeup. Her thin burgundy sweater hangs loosely off one shoulder, baring her creamy, freckled flesh. I’ve become familiar with all of the freckles on her perfect body—freckles I’d never noticed when we were simply fuck buddies.
Now, I notice everything about her.
“Looking good, Holloway,” I murmur as I stalk over to her. My palms find her belly as I hug her from behind. “Looking good enough to eat.”
She turns her head and looks at me with an amused smirk. “You talking to yourself again? You said Holloway.” Then she frowns. “Unless you were talking to Ram or Reagan. That’s just sick, Roman.”
I laugh and let my palms roam to her swollen breasts under her sweater. “I was talking to future you. But present you is hot too.”
Her body stiffens, and for a moment, I wonder if I squeezed her sore tits too hard.
“You okay, babe?”
“I’m not ever going to be a Holloway. It’s bad enough I have to be a Miller like my fucking dad for the rest of my life,” she says in a clipped, harsh tone.
Releasing her tits, I twist her around. Her blue eyes are piercing—the way they get when her mind is clear and whirring with lots of dark thoughts.
“You don’t want to get married one day?” To me?
“But—”
“I don’t care about flowers and vows and frilly tulle-wrapped birdseed. It’s all nonsense. I don’t care about cake tastings and—”
I snort. “You do care about cake tastings.”
Her lips twitch with a smile, but then it evaporates. “Fine, I do love cake but that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is I don’t do weddings or marriage or happily ever afters. I’m not wired like Dani.”
Sliding my fingers into her hair, I kiss her to shut her up. When she finally melts against me and her tongue dances with mine, I kiss her until she’s putty in my hands. Then, I break away. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m not with Dani. I am not attracted to Dani. I don’t care about Dani, aside from the fact that she’s a nice gal who will be my family one day.” I nuzzle my nose against hers. “I care about you. You’re the one I want. And you do care about happily ever afters, despite what you think, because I know you’re excited about having this baby with me. What did you think? You want to be just fuck buddies with a baby? Screw that. I want all of you and dammit, Andie. I’ll wait until you’re ready but know that you will be a Holloway one day. I won’t stop until I make that happen.”
Tears well in her eyes and she slowly nods. “I just worry—”
My phone buzzes in my pocket, but I ignore it. “Worry about what?”
Her gaze hardens. “Do you need to get that? Is it Diane calling again? What did she want earlier? I know it was her calling. I saw it on your screen when you answered.”
I clench my jaw and dart my gaze toward the living room to avoid her penetrating stare. “It was just business shit. Nothing to worry about.”
When I meet her gaze again, her eyes are watery. “You promise?”
Technically it’s not a lie…right?
“Andie,” I murmur, my lips brushing against hers. “I promise you I’m going to give you everything you didn’t even know you wanted. I’m going to give you what you think you don’t want as well. You’re just going to have to trust me.”
She softens her gaze and nods. “When you get like this, I hate you.” Her bottom lip wobbles, but I can see her fierce feelings for me flickering in her gaze. “I really hate you.”
We both know she doesn’t hate me.
We both know she clings to that four-letter H-word so she doesn’t accidentally say a certain four-letter L-word I can’t wait to hear one day.
I smirk and steal a kiss. “I know.”
Pull Over, You’re Not Killing Me Today
PREGNANCY ISN’T THAT BAD ONCE you get over the first initial hump. What those dumb know-it-all books call the first trimester. One thing was correct: the moment I bypassed the twelve-week mark, things started to change. I was no longer so tired that I was passing out at my desk and being confused with someone who had narcolepsy.
I was lucky and never got plagued with morning sickness, but it was clear I had food cravings like no other. I was dreaming about burgers and ice cream a little less now, and more focused on trying to eat balanced meals. Like a donut and an orange for my first breakfast. A cookie and some grapes for mid-morning snacks. A healthy salad with chocolate morsels sprinkled over it for lunch. I was learning balance and kicking ass at it.
Tomorrow, I’ll officially be eighteen weeks pregnant, and we have our appointment to find out the sex of our little bean.
One thing that hasn’t seemed to go away is my uncertainty. The past five weeks have been perfect. Roman has been catering to all my needs. Patient when I’m not. I’ve even felt accomplished at work. Roman has been so busy with clients that he finds himself asking me for suggestions on contracts and numbers. All easy stuff for me. I mean, I did work at a bank for a billion years.
The looks of pure pride from him make me giddy inside. I like to say that I don’t need anyone’s approval. I am who I am. But to get it with flying colors from Roman makes me feel good. Happy.
He’s still keeping things from me, and he still swears it’s nothing I should be worried about. But I’m also me and I am worried. I don’t understand what could be so important that he has to hide it from me. Is he in trouble? Is he slowly knocking off all his ex-lovers before I find out about them and kill them myself? I mean that wouldn’t be a bad idea. Not! I’m about to be a mother soon. I can’t have the blood of his exes on me!
Whatever it is, he is mum about it. And as smooth as I am, I can’t seem to find any answers. Not that I’m looking. Or checking his suit pockets when he’s in the bathroom, or hacking into his emails, searching his deleted folders.
Nope.
Not looking.
Whatever it is, he’s keeping it tight lipped.
Besides trying not to stress over Roman’s secret whereabouts, I have been stressing out about today.
Because today Linc and I have lunch with my dad.
I’ve been putting this off for a while now, but Linc has been up my ass to get it out of the way. As much distaste as I hold for my dad, Linc said I need to tell him about the baby.
I’m finishing up typing a contract for Roman, when my brother pops into his office. I see him and wave while Roman, who’s on a conference call, growls.
Fucking boys.
“There’s my favorite sister in the whole wide world.” Linc smiles brightly at me, while he waves at Roman. As he walks farther into the office toward me, a stress ball goes flying, whacking Linc in the head.
“Roman!” I snap while Linc starts laughing.
“Oh, let’s not mind him. Come give your brother a big hug.” He lifts me off my chair and gives me the biggest, most exaggerated hug ever. “You smell just lovely today.”
“Stop fucking manhandling her,” Roman snaps, the phone pulled away from his ear, a hand covering the receiver.
“Both of you knock it off. I don’t need this shit from either one of you today.” I’d say I’m dealing with enough stress from having to face my dad without having to deal with these two kids.
“You ready?” I ask, grabbing my purse and putting on my jacket.
“You know it. Unless you need to calm down Daddy over there. I can always go back to Reagan’s office and have her keep me company some more…”
A large block of Post-its goes flying. Linc ducks as it crashes into the bookshelf. I just roll my eyes. Not defending him this time. He deserved to get hit.
“Man, do you ever worry about how violent he is?” Linc asks, covering his head as we both see Roman stand, holding something in his hand.
I push Linc out of his office, and give Roman a quick wave. His eyes are dark, his brows scrunched. He hates my brother. And my brother is not helping ease that hate.
“You really have to do that?” I ask as we head down to the parking garage where my car is.
“I’m sorry, sis, but it’s just too much fun.”
I give him a good shove as we make it to my car. “It’s not fun for me. So knock it off. He isn’t going anywhere…I don’t think…so whatever you’re doing, stop.”
I unlock my car, but he tries to snatch my keys.
“Let me drive.”
“No! It’s my car.”
“Yeah, and you drive like a grandma.”
I ignore his taunts, because it’s been forever since he’s been in a car with me. Plus, knowing he probably doesn’t even have a license right now
, I’m going to choose to let his poke at me slide.
We’re meeting my dad at a diner outside the city. Neither of us wanted to go home. Linc said he saw his mom recently, which I think is a lie, but it’s also not my business. The last time I spoke to my dad was probably Christmas. He called to wish me a nice holiday and to ask if I was coming home. I gave him the same answer I gave him the year before. I had other plans.
I didn’t, though.
I spend every Christmas holed up in my apartment, alone.
I didn’t want to go home and act all merry when I wasn’t.
It made me miss my mom, which always led me to getting angry with my dad. He wasn’t around to deal with holidays spent taking care of her when she couldn’t even get out of bed. He wasn’t getting my time now.
“You know, he’s pretty stoked to see you,” Linc says, rolling down the window to flick out a gum wrapper. Damn litterbug.
“Yeah, I’m sure he is. And don’t go ordering anything big. Eat quick, then we’re out. Got it?” Linc gives me a look, but I ignore it. My dad should feel lucky I’m coming at all.
“Andie, he loves you, you know. And despite him being a deadbeat to you and your mom, you always told me if you ever lost focus, to remind you. This is me reminding you. Your mom would want this.”
Fucking stupid reminder.
When I choose to hate my dad, always remind me that my mom wanted peace between us. It was her last dying wish.
I wish I never made that pact with him when we were kids, before we both split.
“Hey, I’m just sticking to my part of the deal. You’ve always stuck to yours.”
At that I laugh. My promise was to never judge him or his poor choices, actions, failures, weaknesses, and most importantly, the crimes of his past.
“Whatever, I would never judge you, even if you made me swear on it.” With a smirk, he turns back to the window.
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