Sarah Elliott

by The Rake's Proposal

  Indeed, it was the very pleasantness of Ben’s entire family that made her dread seeing them again. She didn’t want them to like her, and she didn’t want to like them in return. Kate had hated seeing the viscount’s happiness, had nearly cringed when she’d seen him hug his son with such exuberance. She’d felt even worse when he’d hugged her. There was really nothing to celebrate, and she felt guilty for deceiving them.

  Despite Ben’s assurances, Kate had serious concerns about marrying him in the first place. Certainly she would marry him. There was absolutely no alternative. But she almost wondered if her fate would be that much worse if she didn’t marry at all, and simply let her reputation and her company go to the dogs. She was just too vulnerable where he was concerned, and all her systematic methods and dispassionate objectives were completely forgotten when he so much as looked at her. She lost control and feared that she could easily lose her heart. Ben would be easy to fall in love with, but Kate knew that her love would never be returned. She wasn’t a believer in reformation. Once a rake, always a rake; her brother was an exception to this rule. Just because Ben had accepted the fact that they had to marry didn’t mean that he’d agreed to change his ways, and she couldn’t afford to have her heart broken.

  In that moment, Kate decided that he would put off their inevitable conversation no longer. She would speak to him that very night, and they would discuss expectations for their marriage. She needed to set boundaries, to regain her perspective, to regain her control….

  There was a knock at the door. She tensed, knowing that Ben was on the other side.

  “Kate?” he called quietly, slowly opening the door and peeking his head around it. “Supper will be served in an hour. D’you want to come down and have a drink in the drawing room beforehand? Everyone is there.”

  Kate shook her head. “I’m not feeling quite the thing. But perhaps we could talk for a moment?”

  Ben entered her room and closed the door behind him. It was a dreadfully improper thing to do, but she’d already realized that propriety didn’t apply to him, especially in his own home. He leaned back against the door, his expression masked as he waited for her to begin.

  “Well,” she began nervously, “I just wanted to talk about this marriage…I have decided to accept your proposal.”

  Kate was staring at the floor as she said these words, so she didn’t notice Ben exhale, visibly relaxing. He didn’t point out that she’d already accepted, having sensed that she’d been debating the wisdom of that decision all day. He merely crossed the room and sat down in an armchair.

  “I’m glad that you’ve seen reason at last,” he said, trying to lighten her obvious discomfort. Why did she look so reluctant?

  “Yes, well…there are still many things we have to discuss.”

  “Such as?”

  “Well, for one, there is a paper you must sign. It regards my company.”

  “What sort of paper?”

  Kate began to wring her hands nervously without noticing it. “Well, it’s something I had my solicitor draw up when I realized how problematic marriage really could be. It just states that, once married, my husband…um, you…will in no way hinder my involvement in Alfred and Sons and will in no way attempt to control the company. It will remain solely my property.”

  “I see,” Ben said blandly, giving no indication of his emotion.

  “I, ah, only thought to create this document when I realized that although marriage would protect me from Andrew Hilton, it could also lead to a new set of problems if my husband should prove…less agreeable than might be hoped.”

  “I am not a fortune hunter, Kate.”

  “I know—that’s another good thing about this marriage. You have ample funds of your own, so I can be certain you’re not marrying me for my money.”

  “Why, thank you, Kate, for your generous estimation of my character.”

  She looked up at Ben, trying to gauge from his expression whether he was being sarcastic or not. She was certain that he was, but his face gave nothing away. He had every right to be angry with her, had every right to tell her that she could forget about her bloody marriage. She was making a total muck of it, yet carried on, wanting to get all of her conditions out on the table.

  “There’s just one more thing.”

  “Only one more? Is that all?”

  “Yes,” Kate said, lifting her chin slightly. “When—if—we marry, I will continue to live in Dorset.”

  “Dorset.”

  “Yes, Little Brookings. You visited my brother there many years ago. Robert actually owns the house but he hasn’t lived there since he went to school.”

  “Please, Kate, remind me why we’re getting married? I seem to have forgotten.”

  She lost her temper. Why did he have to make this more difficult than it had to be? “We’re getting married because we have no other choice! You asked me to marry you, not the other way around. If I live at my own house, then you can carry on your life pretty much as you always do, and I can do the same. Neither of us wants to marry, and I just want to make the best of a bad situation. Besides, I need to live in Dorset just in order to run my company—that’s the whole point of this exercise, isn’t it?”

  The second Kate said these words, she wished she could take them back. She sounded like a total shrew, and she knew that she didn’t really mean what she said. Truthfully, there wasn’t anything that she’d like better than to marry Benjamin Sinclair and live happily ever after, to let herself fall in love…but that would never happen, and she knew it. Living in Dorset meant less time spent together; it would lower the risk of having her heart broken. She had to protect herself.

  “Send the necessary papers to my secretary. I’ll have a look at them.”

  “You will?” She couldn’t believe that he’d still want to marry her.

  Ben didn’t bother to answer. He just nodded curtly and left her room, without a smile, a word or a backward glance.

  Kate sank into her bed shakily, hating herself for being such a fool. Oh, God. She’d just thrown away any chance she’d ever had of being happy with him. Since she had met Ben, he had saved her neck twice and had, if she cared to be honest with herself, been the most exciting thing to have ever happened to her. Granted, he’d also been extremely improper, but never mind! She wanted desperately to believe that he was a total reprobate, a scoundrel…but she had come to realize that Ben was much more complicated than that. She liked him very much. Hell, she was infatuated with him, and if that combination didn’t mean she loved him already then she didn’t know what love was.

  The last thing she wanted was for him to despise her, but there was no help for it. Better he hate her than hurt her. She sighed and rose, steeling herself for the trip downstairs and a most uncomfortable supper.

  Ben felt like a fool, and he was furious. He’d bloody well never proposed to anyone before, had never wanted to, and wasn’t sure why he’d changed his mind now. He didn’t have to do it—he’d be a dishonorable cad if he didn’t, but that had never bothered him before.

  He sighed, looking across the dining room table at Kate. His father was talking to her about his new racehorse. Thankfully, she seemed to know a thing or two about racing, so his father was quite pleased. In fact, he was beaming at her as if she were some saintly creature capable of any miracle; given Ben’s previous attitude to matrimony, this probably didn’t seem like too much of an exaggeration. She seemed to be enjoying the conversation, too, and every time she laughed at something his father said Ben felt himself growing more and more annoyed.

  Obviously she wasn’t too upset.

  His whole family had actually been rather awestruck when Kate had first entered the dining room, so surprised were they by her transformation. Her grubby trousers had been exchanged for a simple, pale blue gown borrowed from Beatrice. There was nothing particularly outstanding about the gown itself, yet she looked utterly radiant in it. The blue of her dress made her indigo eyes sparkle and her fair skin glo
w with health. She was an utter vision, and despite himself Ben’s breath caught in his throat as he marveled at her beauty.

  To his chagrin, he also noticed that the gown fit just a little too snugly in the bodice. He’d always known that she had lovely breasts, but seeing them so prominently displayed was almost more than he could bear.

  If he were by himself, he would have buried his head in his hands. Instead, he drank his wine hastily and called for another glass.

  He would have liked to have been able to tell himself that Kate’s beauty was all that had compelled him to ask her to marry him, but his feelings were more complicated than that. She’d fascinated him from the first time he’d laid eyes on her, and he actually liked the idea of waking up with her in the morning, of having someone to talk to about even the most mundane things….

  Bother that. Clearly she hadn’t allowed herself to wander into the same sort of romantic delusions, and he swore that he wouldn’t do it again. Theirs would be a marriage of necessity, nothing more. He’d marry her, and she could bloody well live in whatever godforsaken region of England that she pleased. And if he put his mind to it, Ben prayed, he’d be able to resume his life where he’d left off.

  Truth was, however, he wasn’t sure that he could go back to his normal life. Kate was simply the only woman he wanted. At first, he’d tried his damnedest to alter that fact; he’d visited two of his former mistresses, not to mention Madame Dupont’s. But each and every time, he just couldn’t go through with it and had left unsatisfied. In fact, since he’d met Kate over six months ago, she’d been the only woman he’d made love to, and that had been just the previous night.

  Six months of abstinence. It was laughable.

  Hell, it was a personal record.

  Unfortunately, it was also a personal record that Ben could feel in his loins even now, despite the fact that he was furious at Kate and surrounded by his family. Now that he knew how sweet she tasted, he didn’t know if he could forgo the pleasure again, injured pride be damned. He began to plot, wondering if there was some way to patch things up enough to make love to her again, that very night….

  At that moment, Henley entered the dining room, distractedly wringing his hands and muttering to himself. One glossy section of his hair, usually so neatly and uniformly fixed to his head, had escaped from its pomade and now stuck out at a jaunty angle from his crown. Something was clearly amiss.

  He approached Ben, cleared his throat, and announced in a near whisper, “Lord Gordon is here to see you, Lord Sinclair.”

  The viscount looked up from his plate. “What’s that you say?”

  “Lord Gordon, my lord.”

  “In the middle of supper? Unannounced? It’s preposterous. He’ll simply have to wait.”

  Ben groaned. He hadn’t had time to inform his father of their impromptu and scandalous departure from Peshley. He glanced over at Kate to see how she was taking this news. She looked pale and ill, but other than that gave away no emotions.

  Henley was looking even more upset. “I attempted to ask him to wait, my lord, but he, uh, rather forcefully stated that his business was quite urgent.”

  From beyond the dining room door came Robert’s furious voice, bellowing, “Sinclair, you have ten seconds to get your worthless hide out here and start explaining!”

  Kate scraped back her chair and rose shakily. “Oh, Ben—do you think he got the note?”

  Ben didn’t answer her question. He simply rose from his seat and walked out of the dining room, looking calm and collected. Not waiting for an invitation, Kate followed him, closing the dining room door quietly behind her.

  In the silence that remained after they’d left, Beatrice remarked, “I reckon we can hear better over yonder, by the door, than we can sitting here at the table.”

  In an instant, all three sisters, followed closely by their father, leaped from their seats and dashed to the door, to which they unabashedly applied their ears.

  In the hall, the scene was not so comical. Robert was angry—angrier than either Ben or Kate had ever seen him before. His shirt was untucked, his boots were caked in mud and his complexion was florid with fury.

  For a moment, Kate, Ben and Robert just stood there, staring.

  Kate was the first to venture into the silence. “Robbie—you look as if you’ve ridden the whole way. Will you have supper?”

  He turned and stared at her as if she’d gone daft. “I have been looking for you since seven o’clock in the morning. What I’d like is an explanation—what the hell is going on here?”

  “Didn’t you get Ben’s note?”

  He turned a suspicious glare at Ben. “What bloody note? And what the hell could a note do to correct this situation? Every damn soul at Charlotte’s house is gossiping about it—how the two of you have gone off…disappeared without a trace. How the bloody hell do you expect to get out of this scrape, eh? You can survive it, Ben, but how about you, Kate? Doesn’t matter if you’re completely innocent, which—” he paused meaningfully and she felt her blush rise, “I assume you are.”

  Ben opened his mouth to speak, but before a single word could leave his mouth, Kate interjected. “We’re getting married.”

  Robert stared at her in stunned silence, but as the implications of her words began to sink in, he turned to Ben, his eyes cold and steady. “And why exactly are you getting married? Because I know it’s not your bloody honor that’s making you do it.”

  Ben took a menacing step forward, his body rigid and fists clenched. “Watch your mouth, Sutcliff, or you might say something you’ll regret.”

  “Answer my question, Sinclair, or—”

  “Stop!” Kate shouted, stepping in front of Ben to face her brother. “There’s no option but marriage! You know that, Robbie. I can assure you it’s about the last thing we want to do, but our wishes don’t matter anymore. We did nothing—I was taken from the house last night, and Ben risked his own neck trying to save—”

  “Taken from the house?”

  “Let me continue. Ben was just a victim of circumstances again, but this time the circumstances are too damning. He offered to marry me thinking only of my reputation.”

  Robert raked his hand through his hair, trying to gain control of his temper. He looked at his sister, searching her face for any sign of injury. Satisfied that she had not come to any physical harm, he let his question drop for the moment. “I see. Kate, you don’t have to do this, you know. Whatever happened—and I expect you to tell me exactly what happened—it wasn’t your fault. Yes, it’ll cause a huge scandal, but eventually that will pass. If you marry just because of circumstance, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

  She nodded in agreement. “I realize that. I tried to convince him, but he wouldn’t listen.” She turned to Ben, her eyes beseeching him to change his mind. She felt wretched and embarrassed for her shrewish behavior, not to mention that Ben had done nothing to deserve it. She was certain that all that kept him from pitching her on the spot was some misplaced sense of duty, and she desperately wanted to give him an opportunity to bow out gracefully. She could withstand the scandal, but she didn’t want to be responsible for ruining his life. He’d only grow to resent her for it. “Ben, you know I don’t want you to feel obligated to do this. I…I’m very grateful, but I’m sure we can think of something more…agreeable to us both. Maybe we can just forget about this—I plan to go back to Dorset anyway. The gossip won’t be nearly as bad there.”

  Ben had been listening quietly but intently to the exchange between brother and sister, but as Kate turned her pleading eyes toward him his expression remained masked.

  She couldn’t read his thoughts at all, but she certainly was not prepared for what he said next. “Unless you’re with child, Kate. Then, perhaps, you might want to reconsider.”

  She gasped in shock. She hadn’t even had time to consider this possibility and couldn’t believe that he would mention it so offhandedly in front of her brother.

  Rob
ert didn’t mince words, and the temper that he’d been trying so hard to keep in check let loose. With a growl, he cocked back his arm and punched Ben in the face with all of his force. Ben didn’t even try to avoid it, but stood there unflinching as if he welcomed the blow. Robert rained blow after blow upon him, but he did nothing. He could hear Kate’s voice pleading with her brother to stop, but it seemed very far away. She tried to pull him off but it was useless. Blackness took over, and he fell to the ground.

  Ben was vaguely aware of his family rushing in, followed by several servants. Someone pulled Robert off him—his father, probably. Loud, angry questions and explanations were exchanged, none of which Ben asked or answered. Their echoed shouting bounced back and forth inside his head, but not a murmur passed through his lips. He’d said enough for one evening.

  In all this vagueness, he knew only one thing: Kate did not want to marry him. She would, of course—he’d done everything in his power to see to that. Some primitive instinct deep inside of him would not let her go. But he knew that if she could have refused him, she would have: she would rather forfeit her good reputation completely and take the risk of returning to Dorset unwed and possibly pregnant than marry him.

  He didn’t know if he could accept that fact.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ben was looking in a gilt-gesso mirror, examining the progress of his black eye. It wasn’t actually black, nor was it deep purple, as it had been the day after Robert had hit him. No, nearly two weeks had passed since that memorable occasion, and the skin around his eye had turned a sickly yellow hue instead. Perhaps by the end of next week, he mused, it would disappear completely. If only the consequences of that night would disappear along with it. He must have been temporarily insane.