No Place in the Sun

by John Mulligan

  ‘Rise?’ Walter laughed. ‘If they hold their own it’ll be a miracle, particularly in Bulgaria. We’re looking at big losses there anyway no matter what happens with EU membership.’

  Tom smiled. ‘You don’t care Harry; you never intended this as anything but one last fling, a retirement fund.’

  ‘True enough, Tom, I did better than I ever thought possible to be honest, but I’d like to think that Walter’s job would last a few years more.’

  ‘Don’t worry about me, Harry. The last couple of years have been good to me, set me up well. I think we all did well on this caper really.’

  Andrew raised his glass. ‘Amen to that.’

  ‘So, what makes you think it will all be over sooner rather than later?’

  ‘I just have a feeling, Tom.’ Harry was in a mellow mood. ‘My gut instinct is that we’ve crested the wave, that’s all.’

  ‘Any particular reason, or is it just a feeling?’

  ‘A few things. One thing that will kill it is bad press; if a reporter starts to dig too deep in places like Bulgaria then the shit will hit the fan. That guaranteed rental thing you started has run riot lately, everyone is adding rent on to prices, and a lot of the small guys aren’t doing the deals you did over there. They’re adding margins and rent on to prices that are already way above the market.’

  ‘True enough, a lot of the developers know what we’re getting for stuff, and that’s the kind of prices they’re quoting to small agencies, so they have to add their margins and rent on top of that again. It’s getting completely crazy out there; I’ve seen places sold lately for a hundred and twenty grand that are worth no more than thirty on a good day.’

  ‘The whole business is getting really mad in lots of ways.’ Andrew smiled at the thought. ‘Tania even has a load of dentists signed up as agents, they persuade patients that they bought great value from Scorpio and then they pass their details on to us to close the sale. They get a commission for every contact that delivers a sale.’

  Tom nodded. ‘That’s true, she went in one day to have her teeth polished, and she signed her dentist up to send clients to her. After that she went around on several of them and she has about six surgeries on her list now. It’s mad all right.’

  Walter laughed at Tania’s latest stunt. ‘It’s getting a bit crazy when you can’t have a tooth pulled without someone trying to sell you a place in Bulgaria.’

  ‘I know. Anytime you visit a lawyer, or an accountant, you’re in the firing line as well. It’s probably gone beyond sanity right enough.’

  Walter smiled. ‘So maybe you didn’t mind being sacked?’

  ‘I wasn’t sacked, I left. Anyone for another pint?’ Tom waved his empty glass at the barman and pointed around the table at the others. ‘Everyone for the same again?’

  They nodded.

  ‘As regards the bad press thing though, I don’t reckon that any reporter will dig very deep. This industry is one of the biggest advertising sectors in the newspapers right now. I know we’re spending up to fifty grand some weeks, and there are more than thirty companies in the market at this stage. Ok, some of them are small, but it still adds up to a lot of bread.’

  Harry shook his head. ‘Doesn’t mean someone won’t go after it. Murtagh is already trying to dish the dirt on Budapest, talking about foreigner prices and local prices and all that stuff, seems like a direct reference to the job you sold in the gypsy district. His editor has sat on it so far, but it’s only a matter of time before the talk starts.’

  Tom carried the drinks down to the table and collected the empties. ‘I think I know what’s biting that little shit.’

  Walter laughed. ‘He wasn’t paid enough dropsy?’

  ‘Nothing like that, he got plenty; it’s more that he’s pissed off at losing his crown as mister overseas property. Since our Doctor Sherry started getting the TV slots, Murtagh has his knife in her. I did warn her at the time but she was hell bent on being seen as the world’s leading property expert. No talking to our Tania when she has the bit between her teeth.’

  ‘What have you done, leaving me in the hands of that woman?’ Andrew sounded worried.

  ‘Don’t worry Andy, she doesn’t know how to handle you, you don’t dance to her charms.’

  ‘I’ll miss having you there all the same, Tom, all joking apart. It’s been great.’

  Tom chugged back the rest of his pint and stood up. ‘I’m heading off, lads, have to clean up the flat and put all breakable stuff up on high shelves, little boy coming to live and all that.’

  It would soon be over, and no harm. Tom sat back and watched as the young couple walked over to the lawyer’s desk with their deposit cheque. That sale had been easy, he hadn’t even pushed them; they were so convinced by the rental guarantee in Malko that they had bought two units. Like taking candy from a baby really, lambs to the slaughter. He felt suddenly tired, weary of the endless round of exhibitions and long flights, and the blur of hundreds of people passing his desk, all of them convinced that they were on a path to riches.

  It wouldn’t be anything of the sort though, he knew that. Give it four years at the most, two years to build the projects and another two years when they got back their own rent, minus a handling fee and maybe some tax. Then the shit would hit the fan. It might take a few months more, but gradually the realization would dawn on them that there was no crock of gold, no magic formula for getting rich in some foreign place. A few would do ok; the people who had bought from Harry in Spain had already done well, and even the early buyers on Montana Fea were selling on at small profits. Harry had sold some good stuff in Budapest too, downtown in good areas, but Mamser’s rubbish in the Renaissance quarter was always going to be rubbish, no matter what you called it.

  He sometimes felt a small pang of conscience when he thought of the people that had bought at high prices in Bulgaria, especially in the mountains where the snow was intermittent and where not many people went to ski. What would happen to all those places? Would they fall down eventually, vandalized during the long closed season when the slopes were green? Would people just sell out at a fraction of what they paid? Maybe local people would someday live there, attracted by the knockdown prices and the mass exodus of foreign owners? It was hard to tell.

  He felt sorry for them all in one way, but in other ways his conscience was clear. After all, it was greed that drove them to buy these places, nothing more. They all had homes already, just trying to get rich quick without having to work for it. They all knew about buyer beware, it was up to them to check out the facts, but they didn’t. It was their own fault.

  ‘Penny for them, Tom.’ Andrew had wandered over; it would soon be time to close.

  ‘I’ll miss it all, Andy, but maybe now I’ll get a life. Is it nearly time to pull down the shutters?’

  ‘Give it ten more minutes, and then we’ll call it a day. It wasn’t a bad weekend anyway, we did well.’

  ‘We did fine.’ Tom was happy enough; his final paycheck would be a good one. It would have been better if he hadn’t lost it a bit on Friday, but it was ok. He wouldn’t starve.

  His mobile rang; he was surprised to see Andrew’s number appear. He picked it up and pressed the button. ‘Andy, where did you disappear to?’

  ‘I’m out in the toilet.’

  ‘Are you ok?’

  ‘I can’t come in, she’s here; I can’t face her.’

  ‘Who’s here, what’s wrong?’

  ‘That bitch, my uncle’s wife, she just walked into the room. I covered my face with a folder and ran out. Oh, Tom, I can’t face that woman, I can’t come back in. I feel sick.’

  Tom looked across the room to where a blonde woman was perusing the displays. She looked to be in her late fifties or early sixties, her skin was very tanned, almost leathery, and she was dressed in cream trousers and a white top with sparkling crystals on it. Her hands and arms were festooned in expensive gold chains and rings. So that was old Milton’s wife, imagine that!


  ‘Look, Andy, it’s ok, I’ll get rid of her. You go on home and I’ll lock up the stuff.’

  ‘Thanks, Tom, you’re a pal, I’ll talk to you during the week; I’ll give you a ring.’

  Tom stood up and walked over to the woman. ‘Can I help you, madam?’

  She smiled a cold smile at him. ‘I have some funds; I’m looking to invest in property.’

  ‘You’ve come to the right place, madam.’ He led her over to the desk. ‘What level of spend did you have in mind, madam?’

  ‘About three million, maybe a little more.’

  Tom swallowed; he tried not to let the surprise show on his face. The bitch was spending Milton’s money in a big way. ‘That’s a lot of money.’

  ‘I know. I saw you on the news. I thought you were very honest; you didn’t come out with the usual sales talk. That’s why I came to see you.’

  ‘Oh, thank you.’

  ‘My husband and I live in Spain, you see. He doesn’t come back here at all; I only come home to see my mother, she’s getting on a bit.’

  I bet she is; she must be fucking ancient. Tom kept the thought to himself. ‘So you want to invest a lump sum, maybe get an income from it?’

  ‘Yes, that’s the idea. Retain our capital and draw an income as well.’

  So that when the old goat pops his clogs, you’ll be sitting on a fortune that his relatives can’t get their hands on? Tom wished he could say out loud what was on his mind.

  ‘So what’s the best place for this kind of money?’

  Tom pondered his situation. He looked over to the door; Amanda waved, and Tommy strained to get out of the buggy to run to his daddy. The room was empty except for the salesmen and lawyers who were writing up their records. Somebody turned off the air conditioning and the place was suddenly silent.

  ‘Mama, there dada.’

  ‘Yes Tommy, that’s daddy.’

  ‘Mama, Critopher Wobin was bold.’

  ‘Was he, love?’

  ‘Mama, Critopher Wobin catrated the puttycat, mama, he cat-rated the puttycat.’

  She tried to keep a straight face; Tom smiled back at his family. Everything seemed to be turning out for the best; Amanda was a lovely girl and as for Tommy, well, that kid was something else. It wouldn’t be easy to start a new life with someone who was practically a stranger, even if she was the mother of his child, but the next few months would tell him a lot about the realities of family life, whether the actuality would match the dream. He was looking forward to it, to this new challenge and this new way of living.

  He looked back at Mrs. Milton; she waited for his response. It wouldn’t be right to take their bloody money, even if Milton had screwed him when he closed the shop. Maybe the woman in the Lebanese cafe was right when she said that telling the truth gave you peace of mind.

  He looked back at his son. Then again, there would be school fees, and maybe if all went well little Tommy would have a brother or a sister. They would have to be fed and cared for, and that city apartment mightn’t be the best place to bring them up. A big house in the country would be nice, with a big garden where they could run and play. Then they would grow up quickly, the kids would need houses themselves, it would be endless. This caper could be expensive.

  The woman was looking at him, she repeated her question.

  ‘Where would I go with that kind of money?’

  ‘You’d have to be very careful, madam, that’s an awful lot of money and you’d need to be sure that it was invested wisely.’

  ‘I know that, I’ll get one shot at this and it has to be good.’

  Tom wavered. This woman was putting her trust in him, and he would have to live up to that trust. He would have to tell the truth, to follow the advice that Pauline had given him. She had seemed very content with her life, so it had to be the best way forward. You couldn’t live for ever in fear of all your unhappy customers coming back to haunt you, it was better to be straight and honest and to leave all the dodgy dealing behind, to make a new start. He thought of the old Englishwoman in Pueblo Alto Blanco; he felt an uneasy stir in his stomach when he pictured how she had looked as she sat on the steps and wept at the loss of her life savings.

  On the other hand, a three million sale this weekend would put well over a million in his own pocket, and that was serious money in anyone’s language. Taking a small amount from a lot of people was not such a problem, but taking that much money from an old couple would be too much, really. How could you live with something like that on your conscience? Then again, he had responsibilities to his family as well; it was all very difficult sometimes.

  He looked at the woman sitting across from him; this day wasn’t over yet. He turned on his most sincere look and leaned across the desk. ‘You’re a serious investor and you’re obviously a smart woman; there’s no point in wasting your time with some kind of sales pitch, so let me tell it like it is. The very best advice that I could give you would be to put your money in the same place that I put mine, madam. Tell me, did you ever hear of a place called Malko?