I tossed my black-framed glasses onto my desk and rubbed my eyes. I jumped in the shower and lathered up in my Love Spell lotion. I blow-dried my hair and picked out a black leather pleated skirt and red lace bustier and panty set. I threw on a pair of flats and tossed my black stilettos into my duffle.
I headed from our tiny house in Amityville to the Big Apple. I pulled into the parking garage of the club at quarter to eight. I greeted Dan as I walked through back door and headed toward the break room.
I sat at the vanity and started applying my make-up. I teased my blonde hair with black highlights and added some silver glitter eye shadow. I opted for a nude lip-gloss over my regular red. I didn’t like doing too much to my eyes and adding bright lips, to me it just looked trashy, so I did one or the other. I changed my shoes and checked my panties.
Ellie came barreling in with a huge grin on her face. She was in a white lace set with knee high white leather boots. She always liked to dress like a bride for these things. I opted for the devil.
“Holy hotness! The crowd looks like a fucking GQ photo shoot! I mean they are seriously yummy Jules!” I rolled my eyes and laughed at her. I loved her dearly, but it didn’t take much to impress her. I think even Steve Erkel could impress her if he tried hard enough.
She handed me a Ring-Pop. I gave her a ‘what the hell’ look and she just laughed.
“I changed our opening song. You’ll need it.” I had to admit she looked amazing tonight. Her year round tan courtesy of a tanning booth contrasted with the white in her outfit. She curled her black hair into thick curls that went down to the middle of her back and bounced with her step.
Our boss Adam came in to talk to us before we took the stage. He was dressed in his usual jeans and Double D’s polo shirt.
“Ladies. Looking delectable, as always.” He smiled looking us over.
“Thanks, Adam.” Ellie purred. She had a thing for Adam when we started working here but surprisingly he didn’t sleep with any of the dancers, it was one of the things I admired about him. That didn’t stop him from perving.
“As you know this group is paying a lot, and I mean a lot, of money for the full club experience. I expect you to give it to them. If they want a private lap dance I’ve arranged for Preacher to be in the room with you for your safety. Any problems let me know.”
“Will do.” I said with a salute.
“Alright, go make me some money.” He slapped my ass and I fought the urge to slap him in the face. I felt bad because he was an overall good guy, but he was a total perv. Keith called our introduction and we headed onto the stage. Instead of Porn Star Dancing she changed it to Nickelback’s ‘Something In Your Mouth’, so now I understood the need for the Ring-Pop. I took one side of the stage while Ellie took the other. They were a generous bunch for sure. They were tossing twenties and fifties like our regulars threw fives and tens. I unzipped my skirt letting it pool at my feet earning me a bunch of whistles and whoops. I kicked it off the stage. A Johnny Depp look-alike caught it. I winked at him and the guy next to him, a blonde, practically knocked him off his chair to grab it. The song changed to Theory of a Deadman’s ‘Bad Girlfriend’. I was having fun shaking my ass. I was doing it like my tuition was depending on it, it was.
Ellie and I met in the middle of the stage and she handed me a piece of paper. I unfolded it and read it quickly.
Gotta meet the hottie with the million-dollar body.
I rolled my eyes and walked over to the other side of the stage. I started to dance when I froze in place, I had to grab the pole to keep from falling over. In front of me sat Noah Sinclair, the same boy that broke my heart ten years ago. He was looking better than ever. When I got my whit’s back I walked, okay I sprinted, off the stage. As soon as I was off stage I started hyperventilating. If I wasn’t worried about what was on the floor I would have been on it.
Adam came storming over looking pissed off.
“What the hell are you doing? Get back out there, right now!” He yelled.
“I can’t.” I felt tears burning my eyes.
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t? You can and you’re going to even if I have to drag you back out there myself. You’re the best dancer I have. The guy throwing the party specifically booked the both of you.”
“Adam, I can’t. I know one of the guests. Please don’t make me. Have Willow go out instead. Please… I’m begging you.” Tears had already started falling. Adam didn’t do tears. Frankly, I think they scared the shit out of him.
“Jailbait.” He yelled, making me flinch. Willow came running out from the bar.
“Bossman.”
“I need you to go out there and fill in for Jules.”
“Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?” She asked, noticing the tears.
She got the nickname Jailbait because she was just eighteen. She danced from time to time when someone would call in sick, but Ellie and I were the high rollers at the club. Most people asked for us by name, much like tonight.
“I’m fine.” I lied. She shimmied out of her shorts and tossed her tank in Adam’s face before heading onto the stage. I swear he sniffed it. Gross.
A couple minutes passed, I was sitting in my chair taking my make-up off when I looked up and saw Noah in the mirror.
“Jules.” He whispered.
“No, I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.” I said nervously.
“Nice try, but I already talked to your friend Ellie and she confirmed it was you. Besides, I’d know you anywhere, Jujube.” Dammit Ellie. I was going to kill her in her sleep.
“Do you need something? ‘Cause I’m kinda busy right now.” I snapped.
“Busy removing make-up?” He crossed his arms while leaning in the doorway.
“Very.” I said acidly.
“Jules, please talk to me.” He pleaded. I refused to turn around and make eye contact.
“Oh, just like you talked to me after I left? You promised me Noah! You were my lifeline!”
“What are you talking about?” He looked genuinely confused but I wasn’t backing down.
“After I left you never called. You couldn’t even send me a fucking text message!” I felt my tears coming back but my anger helped me suppress them.
“I texted you almost every day and I did call, but every time I called I got your voicemail. Which was always full by the way. I assumed you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. I even flew up during spring break, but your mom said you were away. She told me you moved on.” He paused as if he were remembering. “She said she’d tell you I came. I was heartbroken.”
I wondered if he was telling the truth or if he just liked my ‘million-dollar body’.
“I never got any messages from you, so don’t lie. I carried my phone with me everywhere just in case. I needed you Noah.”
“Why didn’t you just call me?” He asked with a bitter edge in his voice.
“If you didn’t want me anymore I didn’t want to seem desperate.”
“I’d never think you were desperate.” I turned my attention back to the mirror. “Please talk to me.” He pleaded, which didn’t help my resolve.
I was biting my lip trying not to cry, again. I saw the blonde guy that tried to tackle the Johnny Depp look-alike come up behind Noah and put his arm around his shoulder.
“Come on bro, the parties a waitin’. I paid good money for you to have a memorable night.” My heart sank even more.
Noah was the bachelor.
“Not now Jackson. Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something? Go back out there. I’ll see you in a bit.” Noah barked clearly annoyed.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” He asked.
“No.” Noah said flatly.
“Come on man, don’t be like that. Hoes before bros and all that.” Noah slapped him in the chest with the back of his hand.
“Jules, this is Jackson Richardson. Jackson, this is Jules.”
“Jules? Like the Jules?” He looked incredul
ously at Noah.
“The one and only.” Noah said embarrassed.
“Holy shit. I mean, excuse me, it’s nice to meet you Jules.” He came into the room and offered his hand. We shook. “Wow. I can’t believe I finally get to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you. Everything was always like Jules used to do that, or Jules liked that, and now you’re here. Wow.” Jackson reminded me of Kellan Lutz and I noticed how he said “used to”.
“Jackson, I love you man, but please go. I need a few minutes with Jules.” He pleaded.
“Oh, I get it. One last time for old time’s sake. Your secret’s safe with me.” He winked before walking out of the room. Noah was blushing.
“You’re an ass.” Noah yelled after him. He started walking further into the dressing room and I put my hand up.
“Don’t even think about it.” I warned.
“I wouldn’t do that to you Jules.”
“You’re damn right you wouldn’t, because I wouldn’t let you. I’m not yours Noah, not anymore.” He winced like I’d slapped him. “So who’s the lucky gal?” I sneered.
“Her name is Carrie Collins.” His tone was glum. He didn’t look like a happy bachelor.
“Well, congratulations. I really need to get going, but it was nice seeing you. Take care of yourself Noah.” I felt like I was going to have a breakdown at any second. I grabbed my bag and pushed past him to get to the exit.
“Jules.” He yelled. “Jujube. Please talk to me.” I flinched when he called me Jujube but I couldn’t turn around, knowing that if I did I’d never want to walk away. He looked the same, but better. He’d grown into a man, a very good-looking man. Luckily, Dan was standing by the door and there was no way Noah was pushing past him, not unless he wanted a concussion.
I started my car a pulled into the crisp New York City night before I let the tears fall. I hadn’t cried like that in years. By the time I arrived home I was a freaking mess. I showered and put on my sick jammies with sheep on them and climbed into bed hoping that sleep would come quickly. It wasn’t even ten o’clock yet.
CHAPTER THREE
Your Love Is My Drug
I felt someone climb into bed with me and started screaming at the top of my lungs. It brought me back to that night.
“It’s just me, relax.” Ellie said. “I heard what happened. I thought you’d want to see him. Why didn’t you come get me?”
I sat up and looked at my alarm, it was after two in the morning.
“I just wanted to leave. Why did you tell him it was me?”
“Jules, he knew it was you without me saying anything. I just confirmed what he already knew. Don’t be mad at me.” She pleaded.
“I’m not mad.” I lied.
“Yes, you are. So that’s Noah, huh?” She raised her eyebrow.
“Yep.” I said flatly, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.
“He’s good looking, I mean really good looking.” Even I could admit that he looked amazing. “I thought you would want to know he left right after you did.”
“Too bad for him, his friend obviously shelled out a pretty penny.” I said acidly.
“Stop acting like a bitch, you’re obviously upset about this. Talk to me.” She pouted.
“I just want to go back to sleep. Can’t we talk in the morning?” I whined.
“Fine, but we are talking about this. It’s like in our unwritten roommate agreement or something like that.” I waited until she shut my door before I laid back down.
I put my head back on my pillow and closed my eyes. Unfortunately, I spent the rest of the night tossing and turning.
Sunday morning came with my alarm clock blasting Ke$ha’s ‘Your Love Is My Drug’.
Oh joy…
I hit the snooze button, but it kept blaring through the lousy speaker. I tossed the clock across the room to make it stop. I sat up and dragged myself out of bed. I went to sit at my desk so I could work on my thesis some more. I opened my laptop but my mind wasn’t in it today.
It was in one place, Noah Sinclair… my drug.
Frustrated, I slammed the lid down. I need coffee.
I huffed my way to the kitchen to make a cup, only to discover we were out. Today was not going to be my day, I could just tell. I went back into my bedroom to get dressed for a Starbucks run. I put on the first clothes I could find, a pair of yoga capris and a zip up hoodie. I slipped on my flip-flops and grabbed my phone off the charger. I backed out of the driveway and headed the three blocks to Starbucks. I stood on line for a good ten minutes before I ordered my ventì Bold. I headed back to the house in a slightly better mood.
Thankfully, Ellie was still sleeping and would probably sleep until the late afternoon. At least I could avoid her inquisition for a couple more hours. I drank my coffee and finally made some headway on my thesis. I heard my phone ping so I picked it up and looked at the screen. It was from a 212 number I didn’t recognize.
Jules. Can we do lunch today? Pls. I need to talk to you.
I texted back.
Who is this?
There was a response almost immediately.
It’s Noah. Pls Jules I know you don’t want to talk to me but I NEED to talk to you.
Ugh. Why can’t he just leave me be.
You’re engaged. How would your fiancé feel about you texting me? How’d you get this # anyway?
I paid Ellie to give it to me. So much has happened and I really need to talk to you. Please, it’s just lunch.
Damn Ellie. As much as it felt wrong, the thought of seeing him again made me feel both hurt and happy. The fact that I wanted to see him scared me.
Fine. When. Where. What time?
I waited for a reply, but it never came. I went back to working on my thesis and my frustration was really taking me off my game, again.
I heard a knocking sound and since Ellie was sleeping I tore myself away from my computer and went to answer the door. There stood Noah holding a bag of take out in a pair of overly washed denim jeans, a tight fitted gray sweater, and black sneakers.
“Hi Jules.” I was furious with him showing up here uninvited and unannounced. I wanted to meet him somewhere neutral. “Can I come in?”
“No.” I started closing the door in his face. He put his hand out to stop me. “Since when did you resort to stalking, Noah?” I said annoyed.
“Since it involved you.” He was being serious. I knew when he was being serious because his brows always furrowed.
“Ha-ha, you’re funny. Seriously, I have a lot of work that I need to do and you’re distracting me.” I said acidly.
“Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”
“Listen Noah, I’ve had two helpings of flaming bitch this morning. Satan himself wouldn’t fuck with me right now. Now, why are you here?”
“I told you. I need to talk to you.”
“So talk.”
“If you won’t let me come in can we at least go sit in my car or something?” I clenched my fists and grudgingly opened the door allowing him to pass. He smirked, showing off his dimple. Asshole.
I gestured him to sit on the loveseat while I took a seat across from him on the sofa. He placed the bag of take out on the coffee table and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Alright, you got what you wanted. Now start talking, I really do have a lot of work to do today.”
“What are you working on that’s so important?”
“My thesis.”
“What’s it on?”
“Noah.” I said sternly.
“Alright, sorry. Um.” He was absently playing with a string on his sweater. “I just want to know what happened after you left. I swear I tried to get in touch with you. Just ask your mom.” I winced.
“I can’t.” I said agitated.
“It was a misunderstanding. She was obviously trying to keep you away from me. I knew she didn’t exactly like me, but I didn’t think she liked anyone.” He was glum.
“Well now that we’ve cleared that up you can be on your w
ay. It doesn’t change anything. Besides, you’re getting married now.” I watched as his face fell.
“It was supposed to be us.” He didn’t even try and disguise his hurt. It just brought me back to almost ten years ago and pissed me off even more.
“You obviously loved her enough to put a ring on her finger. Sound familiar?” I was reminding him of the ring that he’d given to me full of empty promises.
“Jules, I said I was sorry. Please…” He pleaded.
“Fine, you want the truth Noah? You want the fucking truth? Here’s the truth! You got me pregnant! I was so scared. I felt like you abandoned me. My mom found out and beat the hell out of me. I lost the baby. Are you fucking happy now?!” I was seething. When I finally looked at him he looked forlorn and had tears in his eyes.
“Jules, I had no idea and that would never make me happy. Why didn’t you call my parent’s house? I would have come for you, I told you that before you left.” He reached out to me and I retracted. I saw Ellie open her bedroom door and close it quickly. She knew what happened.
“It’s the past. I’m stronger now. I can take care of myself. I don’t need you to take care of me anymore Noah. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“So being a stripper is you taking care of yourself?” He yelled.
“It pays the bills. It also means I’m in control. I happen to like what I do.” I yelled back.
“The Jules I knew didn’t need anyone either, but I liked that she needed me.” He said sadly.
“Noah, you need to go. Go home to your fiancé. I hope you have a good life, but I don’t want to see you anymore.” I walked to my bedroom closing the door behind me. I slid down the door and broke into tears.
CHAPTER FOUR
All My Fault
Noah
I hadn’t been able to sleep much last night. Carrie ambushed me this morning putting me in an even worse mood.
I felt a shove. “Earth to Noah.”
“Sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked you what color you thought for the napkins.” Carrie snapped bitchily.
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