I shook my head solemnly.
“Are you okay? You look sad.” I shook my head again. He held his hand out reaching for mine. It felt nice, it was warm and comforting. He pulled me from the swing and started walking to a large weeping willow between our houses. He explained that he had just moved here from Denver. He was nervous about starting a new school, but now he was happy that we would be going to the same school. We were became instant best friends. Sophomore year he asked me to be his girlfriend. We were perfect together.
Part of me always felt like we were meant to be, but I had my heart to think about. I wasn’t used to making myself emotionally vulnerable and he’s engaged.
Maybe Ellie’s right. I wondered if he was happy. He didn’t seem like he was. Maybe we could both get some closure and I would finally be able to move on.
I felt the silent tears escaping. I wiped my eyes with a tissue and pulled my phone off the end table. I knew needed to apologize. I sat there for the longest time battling with myself on what to say before I finally texted him back. I decided sorry was a good start.
Me: Hey. Sorry about earlier you didn’t deserve that.
Noah: No, I didn’t but I understand better now. I also shouldn’t have just stopped by. I guess I just thought you’d feel more comfortable at your place.
Me: What can I say I’m stubborn…
Noah: Always were BTW I’m calling off the engagement. I didn’t do it because of you I just thought you should know. I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reason.
Me: You should be happy Noah.
Noah: I’m not. I haven’t been in a long time just didn’t have the courage to admit it.
Me: I know the feeling. I had a bit of meltdown after you left
Noah: Sorry… I wish things were different. I wish you would talk to me Jules, I have so much I need to say.
Me: I can’t. Give me some time…
Noah: As much as you need. You know where to find me.
I trudged through the rest of the day and managed to get a lot accomplished. I spent Monday shopping with Ellie. Tuesday I had lunch with my friend Chase.
“So, you will never guess who I saw over the weekend.” I said.
“If I will never guess just tell me.” He teased.
“Noah.”
“As in your Noah?” He looked surprised.
“Yes. He came to the club for his bachelor party on Saturday. Then on Sunday he showed up at the house.” I couldn’t tell Chase about losing the baby, he knew I couldn’t have kids, but didn’t know the why.
“What did you do?”
“I tried kicking him out but he was persistent.” I laughed. “We talked a little, and then fought a little. It’s such a mess Chase. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”
“What does your heart tell you? Be honest and don’t worry about hurting me, just the truth.”
“The truth is part of me will always love him, just like part of me will always love you. I don’t know what I want right now. I just want to finish the semester and start my life with as little complications as possible.”
“You know I’m still in love with you. I know we can’t get back together right now, but I just want you to be happy Jules.”
“You’re one of the best people I know Chase. You have helped me more than you will ever know.” We finished up our lunch and talked some more. I could tell he was disguising his hurt and I knew what he wanted, but I couldn’t give it to him. We broke things off because, in my opinion, I was damaged goods and couldn’t give him the family I knew he wanted. I told him I’d see him on Thursday and headed to work.
A week had gone by and nothing from Noah. Part of me was relieved, but the other part was sad. I still didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t want to make the first move.
As if on cue my phone pinged.
Noah: Want 2 come over? We can watch a movie or something. I’ll order in?
Me: I don’t know if that’s such a good idea…
Noah: Pls. It will be like old times! Its Sunday you should relax.
I wanted to say no but I was too weak.
Me: What’s your address?
Noah: 515 72nd Street, NYC
Me: C U in an hour.
I went into my bathroom to check my face before heading out to Noah’s. My phone pinged.
Noah: Park in the garage. The code to get in is 62810.
Forty-five minutes later I pulled into Noah’s building. It looked like consisted of all posh condos. I texted him letting him know I was there. He met me in the lobby wearing a pair of gray lounge pants and a fitted black t-shirt. He pushed the button on the elevator for the twenty-third floor. We got off the elevator and walked to the corner unit. He opened the door into an expansive foyer that led into a living room and formal dining area. Off to the right was a state of the art kitchen, with black cabinets and dark granite countertops, and all top of the line stainless steel appliances. The walls were all painted a pale dove gray. He had sleek black leather furniture in the living room. The dining room table was glass and had eight black leather chairs. On the wall was a buffet with an oversized mirror hanging above it. It was masculine but not what I was expecting.
“Nice place.”
“Thanks, I bought it last year. Come on, I’ll grab some take out menus and you can pick whatever you want.” He walked into the kitchen and handed me a handful of menus. I opted to order something from the deli downstairs since it was quick and he said the food was decent. I ordered a chicken Caesar salad and he ordered a cheese steak. The food arrived twenty minutes later. We ate at the breakfast bar in the kitchen. It was slightly awkward because I don’t think either of us knew what to say.
“Thanks for coming Jules. I mean it.”
“Sure”. I shrugged. “I’m sorry Noah. I shouldn’t have thrown that news at you like that, but you got me so angry it just came out. It wasn’t your fault. I just want you to know that.”
“I’m sorry for barging in like that. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to see you so bad.”
“So…”
“Do you want a tour? We can watch a movie or we could talk. Whatever you want is fine.”
“Sure. You have a breathtaking view of the city from up here.”
“Follow me.” He led me down the hallway. He pointed out the guest bathroom. It was painted a pale blue with gray and blue tiles and a marble sink. The next room was an office that housed tons of books, a desk, a couch, and a couple of chairs. The next room was his master bedroom, which was about the size of my house. It was painted a darker gray. His bedroom furniture was black, while the sheets were a masculine white and gray plaid. He had a balcony off to the one side and a master bathroom suite off the other. There was a humongous flat screen mounted above his dresser, I peeked into an open door, he had a walk in closet to die for. The master bath had a multi person tub and a separate standing shower with what looked like tons of different showerheads.
“This must have cost a fortune.” I stammered, taking it all in.
“I got a good price on it, but it wasn’t cheap. I couldn’t give up this view. It was worth every penny. Plus, there’s a doorman, a gym, and I have parking, which is at a premium in the city. I don’t like not having a car.” He didn’t make it sound condescending.
“I know what you mean, that’s why we settled for the outskirts.” I laughed.
“I like your place. From what I saw it’s cute.”
“We bought it a couple years ago, it’s in a good neighborhood and far enough away from the city to have some peace and quiet but close enough for work and fun.”
“What do you do for fun?”
“Well, I’ve been really busy writing my thesis so that doesn’t leave too much free time for things other than work and school.”
“What’s your thesis on?”
“Romeo and Juliet. Ironic, huh?”
“Very.” He smiled.
“It’s about fate and destiny. How Romeo and Juliet schem
e up ways to be together, but get caught up in the cosmic warfare of their families. The undeniable power of love and the downfall of the family, which is kind of similar to our own story.” I said sadly.
“Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I never saw true beauty till this night.” Noah said in a faux British accent making me giggle.
“I love that line too. I didn’t take you as much of a Shakespeare fan.” I teased.
“That line has never been more true before right now Jules.” He said, making me blush.
“Thank you.”
“What movie would you like to watch? Or we could talk.”
“I don’t mind. Whatever you want is fine.”
“I have Romeo and Juliet if you want, maybe it could help you with the thesis.” He smiled.
“Perfect.” I followed him back to the living room where he grabbed the DVD.
“Um, do you mind watching in the bedroom? The couches aren’t as comfortable as they look, plus the sound is better in there.”
“I don’t know…” I was worried about falling into old patterns too quickly.
“Come on, I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman.” I rolled my eyes as he took my hand and led me back to the master bedroom. I took my flip-flops off and climbed onto the bed. I grabbed one of the decorative pillows and pulled it to my chest. I got comfortable while Noah set the movie up. He climbed in bed next to me and sat a safe distance apart. I laid my head back as the opening credits started. I wanted to reach out and grab his hand or put my head on his shoulder just like we used to do when we were kids. I wondered if he was as comfortable as he used to be. I could sense he was hesitating too. When we locked eyes for a moment in time it was like we had never been apart. Our faces inched closer together until our lips met. The same familiar spark ignited, electricity coursed through my veins. Our lips parted deepening the kiss. We’d both gotten better with age… I pulled away breathless and looked at his face.
“I love you Jules. I always have.” I couldn’t doubt his sincerity, but it didn’t make it any less scary.
“Noah… I’m not really in the market for a relationship right now. There is still so much we need to talk about. I’m not sure this can go anywhere. Besides, you’re still engaged.” I don’t know that I ever stopped loving him either, even when I wanted to hate him.
“I called it off last week.” He cradled my face in his hands. “Please stay with me tonight, we can go to dinner. I’ll even sleep on the couch. I just got you back and I’m not ready for you to go just yet.”
“Let’s start with dinner and we’ll go from there...”
“Excellent.” He said brightly.
“I don’t have any clothes.” I said, looking at my loungewear.
“There are a couple boutiques across the street. I’m sure we can find you something acceptable to wear.” His lips were still close to mine, his voice husky with lust. It was taking all my restraint to keep myself in control not to pounce on him.
“Noah, if you keep that up we’re never going to leave the bedroom.” I teased.
“Fine. Let’s go get you some clothes and then we can go to dinner and talk some more.”
He changed into a pair of dress slacks and a light blue button up. I picked a pair of Italian loafers and handed them to him. He smiled approvingly and put them on. He grabbed his keys and wallet and pulled me out the door.
We walked across the street to Bella’s Boutique. I found a cream-colored wrap dress that I paired with a set of leopard pumps and a brown belt. I could tell Noah approved by the face splitting grin he was sporting. I brought the tags to the register since I was going to wear it out of the store.
“That will be five hundred fifty nine dollars, please.” I went to hand her my bankcard when Noah pushed my hand away and handed her his black Amex. I rolled my eyes at him. I was annoyed but decided not to argue with him. We walked back across the street to the parking garage. He helped me climb into his Jeep and we headed towards mid-town. He pulled into Per Se, a fancy French restaurant.
“You look lovely.”
“Thank you. And thank you for the dress. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. I hope it’s the first of many.” His response shocked me.
“Noah, where do you see this headed?”
“To the alter.” He said dead serious.
“Noah, be serious. We haven’t seen each other in almost ten years. A lot’s changed since then.”
“I suppose. I think we should catch up on what we’ve missed and go from there. I’m hoping that you’ll give me the opportunity to make up for lost time.”
“I can’t have kids.” I said sadly. I knew he always wanted kids.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’m sure we can figure something out. I still want to know what happened.” I felt the pain in my heart and nodded. He deserved to know.
“After we moved here Clark had already enrolled me in a boarding school upstate. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until around Christmas break. I didn’t say anything to anyone. I wanted the baby since it was part of us. Anyway, when I went home for spring break I was noticeably pregnant. Abigail freaked out and called me a whore. She said I probably didn’t even know who the father was. She ended up getting so angry that she tossed me down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom she repeatedly kicked me in the stomach. I lost so much blood that I almost died. When I woke up in the hospital the doctor told me that when the placenta detached it caused irreversible damage. He said my chances of being able to conceive are pretty much non-existent.” I spoke just above a whisper. It hurt so much more to say it out loud. He ran his thumb over my hand reassuringly. He looked as broken as I felt.
“I’m so sorry Jules. I knew she was horrible to you, but I never expected her to do something like that. I wish I could have been there to take you away. I wish you weren’t so damn stubborn and you would have called me. I would have come.”
“I know you would have. It’s the past. I’d rather not talk about it anymore.” He nodded in understanding.
The waiter brought out our entrees and we turned to more neutral subjects. Turns out he graduated from Fordham University with a degree in law, which is where he met his best friend Jackson. He’s currently practicing law at a large Manhattan firm where he’s looking to become a partner. When we finished he paid and we headed back to the condo.
He convinced me to spend the night and I actually didn’t want to leave either.
I didn’t have class on Monday and Noah had arranged a personal day. I was looking forward to sleeping in and having another lazy day with just the two of us catching up on everything that we’d missed over the last ten years. I slipped the dress over my head and folded it neatly after grabbing one of his t-shirts from the drawer. We climbed into bed and fell asleep just like old times.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of high-pitched shrieking. It sounded like a drowning cat. I pulled the pillow over my head to muffle the sound.
“Noah!” The voice shrieked again. “What in the hell is going on here? Who’s that?”
“Carrie, what are you doing here?” I turned my head slightly to get a better look at her.
She was tall, slender, and blonde. She looked like a prissy bitch.
“Daddy said you’d called in a personal day. I thought we could spend it together. Obviously you had other plans.” I was suddenly anxious. Did he lie to me about breaking off the engagement? He looked pissed off.
“Carrie, go to the kitchen.” He ordered. She huffed and spun on her Louboutin’s storming out of the bedroom.
“That’s some wake up call you’ve got there.” I teased.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think she’d show up like that. I guess it’s time to change the locks.” He leaned in and kissed me quickly before pulling on a pair on lounge pants and heading to the kitchen. Damn he was sexy!
Being the snoop that I am, I went and stood in the doorway to eavesdrop.
“Is she who I think she is?” Carrie said acidly. I wonder how she knew who I was.
“It’s Jules.” He confirmed.
“How long has this been going on?” She demanded.
“We’re not together anymore Carrie. I can see who I want.” Noah replied curtly.
“Okay, I’ll forgive you this time. Have her leave and we’ll go to breakfast.” She said nonchalantly, it was as if she were talking about the weather. Crazy bitch.
“Carrie, we’ve been over this already. It’s over. I didn’t want this.” He gestured between the two of them. “You pressured me into proposing and I should have never done it. You’re a great girl and you’re going to make some guy really happy one day. I’m just not him.”
“You’re going to throw everything you’ve worked so hard for away because of that slut. She’s so fake, I bet Barbie’s jealous!”
“I’d lose everything I have if it meant that I could have a second chance with Jules. Not that it’s any of your business, but there’s nothing fake on her so refrain from making your snarky remarks.” I noticed he still stuck up for me like he used to. It made me smile.
“This is not over Noah Sinclair!”
I decided maybe if it looked like we were putting on a united front it would be easier for him to get rid of her. I strutted into the kitchen like I owned the place, and pecked him on the lips. I opened the fridge and took a swig of orange juice straight from the carton.
“You!” She pointed at me with her skeletal finger.
“You do realize it’s a finger and not a wand, right? I’m not going to turn into a rat or anything.” She did it again, so I did it back.
“Abracadabra… nope you’re still a bitch.” Noah laughed, but quickly covered it up as a cough.
“You are nothing but a no good whore.” She yelled.
“For your information, I’m a stripper at a high end gentleman’s club, not a whore. But I bet you’re naked under those clothes, you slut.” She was shooting daggers at me. I was so full of comebacks that I could run circles around her.
“Are you really leaving me for this piece of trash?”
Second Chance Romance Page 4