“No, but no one is ever going to want me for me, they’re just going to want me for my body. Even look at us.”
“That’s not true, I like your body, but I love you. You have my heart in the palm of your hand, what you do with it is up to you, but it beats for you. You’re the one that wanted to keep it casual, if I had it my way we would be on a plane to Vegas right now.”
“And what about all my hold ups? I’m just like her, I’m selfish. I come with so much baggage, like a U-Haul full. I can’t have kids, my life’s ambition is to write for the Rolling Stone. You have your shit together, you’re a lawyer. You come from a normal family, you’re everything I’m not.” She said sadly.
“You’re the most unselfish person I know, Jules. They say opposites attract, I think you forget how much we have in common. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you the baby thing isn’t a deal breaker. We’ll go see Melissa when we get back or maybe I could convince them to come up over the weekend, either way I want you. What can I do to make you see that?” She started crying and I wanted to punch myself for pushing her when she was already upset.
Then something occurred to me, a missing piece to the puzzle.
When I had gone to visit her after she moved, it was spring break. Her school closed for breaks and holidays and students had to go home. I wanted to surprise her since every time I tried calling her it was like my number was blocked, or I would get voicemail. Abigail had told me she was away with a new boyfriend. Really she was probably still in the hospital recovering from losing our baby. Needless to say, I was devastated beyond comprehension, especially since I was going to be moving to the city that summer to get ready for school. I had chosen Fordham just so I could be closer to her. I hated Abigail more than ever…
“Do you love me Jules? I mean really love me?”
“I think I do, but I don’t know if I’m confusing my feelings. I’m scared Noah.”
“Without over thinking what does your heart tell you?”
“That I love you.” She whispered.
“Then take the gloves off and quit fighting it. Just let it happen, let me in.” I pleaded before continuing. “I had no idea what really happened when I came to visit you, I do now. She told me you were away on spring break with a new boyfriend, I was devastated. Honestly, I didn’t date for a long time after I found out. You can ask Jackson, I was a recluse when I started school. Eventually when I started dating again I felt the same way you do right now, I was scared shitless. I had a couple girlfriends before Carrie but nothing serious. Even with Carrie it wasn’t what I wanted, it was what I thought I did, mostly because I needed to move on from you and it killed me. She pushed me for a long time to marry her and I agreed because I thought it was what I wanted. I never thought there was a possibility of us again, I figured that you would have moved on with your life. I thought you would probably be married or something because any man lucky enough to have you should know enough to cherish you.”
“Thank you.” She said.
“It’s always been you, Jules. Since I was eight years old and I saw you on that swing. You’ve managed to overcome so much and you’ve had to do it mostly on your own, I’m sorry for that, but I’m here now. I shouldn’t have given up so easily but I want a second chance to prove to you that we belong together. I love you.” She started balling my eyes out as soon as I mentioned the swing, I remembered that day like it was yesterday, the day my life changed forever.
“I’ll try, you’re probably going to regret it. Especially since the hearing hasn’t even happened yet. There’s a possibility that it could land in the press. If they connect us it could be bad for your career.” Score! I did an internal happy dance.
“Let me worry about my career and you focus on getting through the end of the semester. I’ll make sure everything is okay.”
“You always do.” She said earnestly. The GPS had announced our arrival as I pulled up to the gate and pressed in the code. The gates opened and we headed down the tree-lined drive up to a massive stone house.
CHAPTER TWELEVE
Leave Me Alone
Jules
We pulled up to a ginormous stone house. Noah grabbed our bags from the trunk and we headed to the front door. When he opened the door it showcased an expansive foyer, a grand double staircase with corridors on either side. The entire house was grand. All the furniture was imported no doubt. We took one of the bedrooms on the second floor that had a view of the backyard. It was painted a cranberry red and had a king-size bed with cream and gold linens. Our bathroom had a two-person Jacuzzi, a stand up shower and a double sink. We set out to explore the rest of the house. It housed a library, a billiard room, a media room, eight bedrooms plus a master suite, four additional bathrooms, an eat in kitchen, a dining room, sitting room and living room. The fridge and pantry had been stocked for our arrival. When I asked what Randall did for a living Noah told me that he owned Richardson Communications, which owned a bunch of media outlets, but had it’s hands in lots of different pots. Randall recently asked Noah to take over the legal side of Richardson.
I knew Jackson didn’t work but he graduated from Fordham with a degree in engineering and would occasionally do some freelance stuff for his dad.
Noah pulled out some shrimp cocktail from the fridge to munch on while I prepared us some eggplant gratin. We talked a little more about our ‘relationship,’ I was praying that I was making a smart decision. Deep down I knew he was my Noah, but a lot could change in ten years and I didn’t want to end up burned. He called Steven and Melissa to see if they were available to come up this weekend. It turned out that Melissa wasn’t on call this weekend and they would head up Friday afternoon. I felt a little rushed but I was curious to see what her opinion was. We had chocolate mousse for dessert and I decided to play a little. I dipped my finger in the dish and smeared some on his lips licked it off seductively. I tried to pull away but he crashed his lips to mine.
“You and I are going to set this room on fire.” He said pulling my shirt over my head. Before long we were both naked. He sat me on the counter and ran his tongue all over my body making me wild with anticipation. I stroked him teasingly until he finally gave in. I looked in his blue eyes and remembered our conversation on the way up here; the way he was looking at me I knew he was my Noah. My apprehension disintegrated.
Oh my god, I love him… really, truly love him!
“I love you, Noah.” I panted.
“I love you too baby, so much.”
Without breaking our connection he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. He laid me down on my back and we made love before falling into a sated sleep.
When we woke the next morning, we showered and headed toward town. We window-shopped and admired the quant little shops. We went to a diner and had waffles that were out of this world. He suggested that I go to the local spa and get a pedicure so he could make some calls. Noah came back when my nails were drying and said that they hadn’t been able to find out anything concrete yet but he was circumventing my questions, typical lawyer.
Noah
“Baby why don’t you go get a mani-pedi?” I pointed over to a salon.
“Maybe I will.” She smiled and we headed across the street.
Once she was all situated and I knew I had a little while, I excused myself to call Jackson. I wanted to see what he found out, if anything.
“Hey.” He answered.
“Anything?” I asked.
“Nothing affirmative yet. It seems the little bit of info she offered on Mitchell checks out. He’s twenty-nine, just moved back from North Carolina and it’s his first year as a professor. He has two brothers and a sister. No spouse or known girlfriends could be found. She said he was good looking but damn even I think he’s hot.” He laughed. “I mean he’s really good looking…”
“Jackson.” I scolded.
“Sorry. Anyways we’re working on getting the cell phone records for her mom and Carrie. I already looked through
hers and his number doesn’t show up once. I erased all their emails from the school server and blocked his number. I went to Double D’s and had Adam pull up the footage from the night he was there. I wiped that too and told him if anyone asks he’s to tell say the system was down for an upgrade. As far as I’m concerned I don’t even know why the school is bothering there’s no evidence.”
“What do you mean the night he was there? When was he there.” I was greeted with silence. “Jackson, I hear you breathing.”
“Dude, don’t get your panties in a twist. It was over a month ago, Ellie told me to check the cameras because she remembered him coming in. He was there with friends, she had one drink with him and left.”
“Sorry. Keep up the good work and let me know what else you find out.”
“Will do.”
I hung up and started categorizing what he’d just told me, I tried to compile a list of possible suspects to look into. There was Reid, Carrie, Abigail, and now possibly Chase. I wasn’t going to leave any stone unturned.
I headed back to get Jules. I told her that I’d talked to Jackson but that we hadn’t heard anything new. While I was making phone calls I made arrangements to go to a local airfield and surprise her by taking her on a hot air balloon ride.
We headed to the outskirts of town and when we pulled I could tell she was excited. I wondered if she would be as excited if she knew what I was planning. I walked around and opened her door. We met Charlie who would be the one to take us up. I helped her in and we started to rise, the view was spectacular. Once I had her attention I reached in my pocket and pulled out a ring box. I lifted her hand and kissed it lightly.
“I love you, Jules. Ten years ago I made you a promise, I promised I would be with you wherever you were. I wasn’t able to keep it then, but I plan on keeping it now. I know you’re not ready to get engaged, yet. I’m hoping I can change your mind, but for now I want to set up a list of new promises. I promise to be what you need, when you need it. I promise to take care of you and always consider your feelings. I promise to love you and only you until I take my last breath. This is our second chance.” Her eyes brimmed with tears and she looked at the ring. I could sense a little apprehension but she nodded in understanding. I carefully slid it onto her ring finger. It was an infinity band of white gold surrounded by diamonds but nothing gaudy.
“I was going to get you a Ring Pop but I figured it would get too sticky.” I joked. Come on Jules, say something.
She reached out and hugged me. She was speechless. It was yet to be determined if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Charlie the one controlling the balloon told her that I was a keeper, she smiled and nodded. I leaned in and kissed her.
“I finally know what it’s like to let someone in, that’s because of you. But you know I can’t marry you anyway… I’m still holding out for Justin Timberlake.” She teased and I laughed.
“I hate to break it to you baby but I think he’s getting married in like a week or something. I hope one day you’ll settle for being Mrs. Sinclair instead.” I teased.
“What! How could he do that to me.” She said in mock horror. I wrapped her in my arms as we took in the breathtaking view before our decent. When we got back to the house she said she wanted to work on her thesis for a little while, I decided to sit in the living room and watch some TV. A little while later she brought me my laptop and she handed me a CD along with a couple papers. I unfolded them. It was a note with some scribbled lyrics. I put the CD in my disc drive and pressed play.
Noah,
These songs explain my feelings better than I ever could.
Love, Jules
Noah’s playlist:
Lifehouse- First Time
We’re both looking for something we’ve been afraid to find
It’s easier to be broken, easier to hide. Looking at you, holding my breath.
For once in my life, I’m scare to death. I’m taking a chance, letting you inside.
We’re crashing into the unknown. We’re lost in this, but it feels like home.
My Darkest Days- Can’t Forget You
When all is said and done, you’re the only one.
Whoever said this pain would ever go away didn’t know what it meant to be here without you. Is everything you see reminding you of me? Does it hurt when you breathe too? ‘Cause it does when I do. ‘Cause it does when I do.
When anybody says your name I wanna run away. I keep remembering I can’t forget you.
With every single day it won’t go away, the way I feel about you and when it’s said and done you’re the only one.
Ever since we were little Jules was always better expressing herself on paper. She would always write me little notes or make me mixed tapes before CD’s were around. I knew what she was trying to say, she didn’t want to get hurt again but she didn’t want to live without me. What a relief! I was happy I made a little headway in earning her trust.
The next couple days flew by and it was already Friday. We had spent our time relaxing and getting to know each other again. I felt confident about this weekend. My partner at the firm Joe and his wife Melissa were coming tonight. Melissa was going to take a look at the scarring Jules had to see if it was possible for us to ever have a baby. I was on tenterhooks, but I didn’t want to show it incase Jules noticed. I knew it would upset her. She was so worried that I would leave her if she couldn’t have a baby, like I would ever have the strength to walk away from her. In an effort to help her relax I had planned a couple’s massage this afternoon.
Jules
Noah planned a really nice day. We had massages and lunch at The Overlook. He was attentive as always. I was a little anxious about meeting Melissa tonight. By the time we arrived back to the house later that day we only had a short amount of time before our company was supposed to arrive. I was already expecting the worse, knowing what my previous doctors had said. The optimist in me said maybe there could be a procedure to reduce scarring and increase our chances, but I will still apprehensive. I opened up my laptop and checked my email quick. There were a couple new ones. The first was from Ellie.
From: Ellie Townsend [email protected]
To: Jules Kline [email protected]
Miss You!
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 6:38pm
Hey Sweet-cheeks,
I’m so bored and lonely without you! I’m busy helping Jackson when I’m not at work. I think Jackson and I may have solved our life’s problems together. We are going to go for the casual sex thing too since it worked so well for you and Noah (we already did it, twice, and holy shit!!!) I’ll give you all the details when you get back… :) We decided that we don’t have to like each other’s friends (he likes you though), we don’t have to deal with family drama (so far his family is awesome), and we especially don’t have to date. It’s prefect! We haven’t been able to find too much more out but it looks like Abigail moved again since we last checked but we’re still looking.
Miss you like crazy!
Xoxo,
Ellie Mae
From: Jules Kline [email protected]
To: Ellie Townsend [email protected]
I MISS YOU!
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 7:17pm
Ellie Mae,
I miss you too. Noah and I are having a good time though. You have to have Jackson bring you up here sometime, it’s stunning! I told him the other day that the two of you would be perfect for each other. We’re having company tonight, the attorney that Noah works with and his wife the OB. I’m scared shitless… I’ll let you know how I make out. See you Sunday!
Kisses,
J
I wasn’t expecting the next email.
From: Chase Mitchell [email protected]
To: Julia Kline [email protected]
Read in private.
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 10:22am
Jules,
I know this probably isn’t the smartest thing for me to be doing seeing as I’m on the school s
erver but I don’t have any other way of talking to you. Did you have my number blocked? Anyway… I wanted to let you know under the advice of my attorney I put in my resignation. I agreed to take a polygraph test, which is scheduled for tomorrow morning. It should clear you of any wrongdoing and allow you to graduate on time. I have decided to stay in New York a while longer any way. I was hoping maybe we could meet for a drink sometime. I really do miss you and I don’t like how we left things. I’ll forever regret losing you.
Yours,
Chase
From: Julia Kline [email protected]
To: Chase Mitchell [email protected]
Re: Read in private.
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 7:23pm
Hey,
No, I didn’t have your number blocked. What happened when you tried to call? I hope you didn’t resign just because of me because we would have figured a way out of it. I’m actually away until Sunday night but I’m not sure that meeting for a drink is such a good idea…
I shouldn’t have kissed you the other day; it doesn’t change anything between us. Remember when I told you I ran into Noah a couple weeks ago? We’re trying to work things out and him and I both owe it to ourselves to see where this goes. I’m sorry.
Jules
I got a response almost immediately.
From: Chase Mitchell [email protected]
To: Julia Kline [email protected]
Re: Re: Read in private.
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 7:29pm
“So hard to let go and I still hear the sound of your voice singing in my head. I can’t surrender ‘cause the rope’s slowly coming apart, but hanging by a thread. It’s go on for too long and this is it. So take a look into my eyes one last time so we never forget the way we were before. When we came alive at the moment we met. This is still worth fighting for. A love that wants to live, I’ll give you all I’ve got to give. So let’s try one last time. Now that we know just who we are, now that we’ve come finally come this far, I’m ready for one more battle scar. ‘Cause we’re still worth fighting for…” ~MDD
Second Chance Romance Page 9