You’re still worth fighting for Jules. I’ll be waiting in hopes that I get a second chance…
I’m still in love with you,
Chase
To: Chase Mitchell [email protected]
From: Julia Kline [email protected]
Re: Re: Re: Read in private.
Friday, 2012 Nov 30 7:31pm
You know that’s my favorite band! Sorry Chase but I’m taking this love off life support…
There was a knock on the door. I turned to see Noah standing in the doorway staring at me curiously.
“Hey baby, everything okay?” He asked with smoldering eyes.
“I’m great, I was just about to head downstairs.” I closed my laptop and went to pull him into a hug. I looked into his eyes and stood on my tippy toes to give him a quick peck on the lips before I took off on foot down the long corridor. He playfully chased after me as we ran around in circles until he hopped the one couch and caught me by my waist pulling me on top of him to pick up where we left off.
“I love you so much, Jules.” He started tickling me.
“Love you too, Noah.” I squealed as the doorbell chimed. He climbed off the couch and promised we would pick up where we left off later. I quickly fixed myself hoping I looked presentable and went to introduce myself to our company. Joe and Melissa walked into the room. Melissa was tall and slender with reddish-blonde hair and a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. I noticed her bright green eyes as she smiled brightly at me. Joe was about the same height as her with blonde hair, brown eyes and a sun-kissed tan. Noah came and put his arm around my waist.
“Joe. Melissa. I’d like to meet my girlfriend Jules.”
“Pleasure to meet you, Jules.” Joe said taking my hand and shaking lightly.
“Nice to meet you.” Melissa said. She had a warm and pleasant aura and I liked her already.
“I’m glad to finally get to meet you both as well. Thank you for taking the drive.” I said sincerely.
“It’s no problem. Thank you for inviting us, we’re always looking for quick escapes from the city.” Melissa said brightly. Noah and Joe went to take the luggage to one of the spare rooms while Melissa and I headed to the kitchen. I poured us each a glass of white wine and we took seats at the kitchen island.
“So how did you and Noah meet?”
“Actually, I’ve known him for most of my life.” I laughed. “He moved next door to me when I was six and we were instant best friends. We lost touch for a few years but I’m glad we found each other again.”
She smiled again. “I’m glad to see Carrie gone. She rubbed me the wrong way. I didn’t like, her bosses daughter or not.” I snorted. “So Noah said you wanted to talk to me about some things… We could talk later if you want.”
“Now is fine. I’m not where to start so I guess I’ll just start at the beginning.” She nodded for me to proceed. “Noah was my first, we only slept together one time right before my mom moved us to New York. Well, she threw me in boarding school the first chance she got and that’s where I found out I was pregnant. I was scared because I didn’t think Noah wanted anything to do with me anymore. It turns out now that it was all a huge misunderstanding. Anyway when I was home for spring break I was noticeably pregnant and my mom freaked out. The trauma I suffered made me lose the baby. The doctors said the scarring is pretty bad and my chances of conceiving are pretty much non-existent.” I wanted to give her as much information as possible but spared her the gory details.
“I’m really sorry you had to go through something like that. Especially at such a young age.” She placed her hand on top of mine and rubbed it reassuringly. “We’ll go to my friend Laura’s office tomorrow and I’ll take a look. When we’re back in the city I’d like to run some other tests at my office.”
“Thank you Melissa, it means a lot to me. I don’t want to get either of our hopes up but I know Noah wants kids and I just want to know what the chances are, if any.”
Joe and Noah joined us a little while later. We talked and laughed most of the night. I really liked the both of them. I could tell Joe and Noah had a good relationship. A couple hours later everyone headed to bed and I was a bundle of nerves waiting for what tomorrow brought.
The next morning I awoke and tried to keep optimistic. Noah seemed in a good mood. He and Joe were going to watch a football game at a local university. I showered quickly and headed down to the kitchen. I made a cup of coffee and tried to play it cool in front of the others. Noah offered to come to the office with me for moral support but I politely declined. He kissed me passionately and wished me luck before heading out the door. I followed Melissa to her white Range Rover and clambered inside. Everything’s going to be fine. I chanted in my head over and over. It was the mantra of the day. We drove for about forty minutes before pulling up in front of small house blue house with a black and white sign out front. It said Dr. Laura Chamborg OB/GYN. Melissa had met Laura a couple years ago at a conference and they became quick friends. When Melissa told her my story she had offered to let us use her office since we were so close. I climbed out of the Range Rover and took a stream of deep calming breaths and followed closely behind Melissa who was trying her best to be reassuring. She pulled open the white door and we walked in. The room was a pale pink and housed a receptionist desk along with a row of chairs and a toy section in the corner.
“May I help you?” The receptionist asked.
“Yes. I’m here to see Laura, she’s expecting me.” Melissa spoke.
“One moment, I’ll let her know you’re here. Can I have your name?”
“Melissa McMillan.” The receptionist stood and walked down a narrow hallway to the end where Laura’s office was. A couple moments later a willowy blonde came down the hallway. She was tall and slender. She didn’t have on any make up, she definitely didn’t need any. Her and Melissa greeted one another and she introduced me.
“Follow me back here. You can use room 4 it’s the largest and houses all of my equipment.” She smiled. I walked nervously, one foot in front of another until we reached the room. Laura opened the door. The room was painted a pale cream. I noticed the table with stirrups, an ultrasound machine along with a bunch of other equipment I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it was for. Melissa filled Laura in on why I was here before handing me a gown and stepping into the hallway. Here goes nothing. I changed quickly and sat at the edge of the exam table. My heart was beating frantically while I waited for Melissa to come back in. Finally, she opened the door. I noticed she changed into a pair of maroon scrubs.
“Alright Jules first things first, I am going to take a couple viles of blood to send to the lab then we will do an internal exam along with a few other tests. Is that okay?” She asked. I nodded as she came over and started taking blood when she was done she helped me lay down and started her exam. I thought about Noah. I thought sardonically about how my own mother possibly ruined my chance at motherhood. I thought about Chase and his emails and wondered why now when everything in my life was just about where I wanted it to be that he chose now to complicate things. Part of me knew I would always love Chase because he helped me heal in more ways than he will ever know. I thought about a lot of things as I tried not to think about what was going on right now. Everything happens for a reason. I lay still as she poked and prodded.
When Melissa was done she stared at me with stoic look on her face.
“I want to run some more tests when we get back to the city but from what I can see the scarring is pretty extreme. It doesn’t look good.” She paused looking sad. “I don’t want to give up just yet.” She finished. I felt my heart shatter. I knew I told myself that I wouldn’t get my hopes up but apparently they were higher than I thought.
“Thanks for doing this for me.” I said trying my best to hold my tears at bay. I was sinking and struggling with myself. She patted my hand reassuringly and left so I could get
dressed. I put my big girl panties on and put on a brave face before heading out into the hallway. We thanked Laura and headed to get something to eat. We pulled into Ella’s Eatery. I didn’t think I could eat but I knew I was hungry. I ordered a Panini and some soup Melissa ordered the same. We talked some more about what she saw and I tried to listen. She told me she also suffered from fertility issues and has miscarried twice but it didn’t make me feel better. I wasn’t too worried about what Noah would say but I really didn’t want to take fatherhood away from him. We paid for lunch and headed back to the Richardson Estate. I excused myself and headed to our bedroom and ran a bath. I sank into the tub and let the tears flow freely. I hated my mother more than anything right now. I don’t even know how long I was in there before Noah walked in. He walked over and placed his hand in mine.
“The water is freezing. Your teeth are chattering Jules.” He walked over to the sink and pulled out a white fluffy towel. He helped me up and wrapped the towel around my shoulders. He dried me off methodically and led me back to the bedroom. He helped me get into my pajamas and pulled back the duvet. He pulled me closely running his fingertips up and down my arm.
“Did you talk to Melissa?” I asked sadly.
“I did. I’m sorry Jules, I’m so sorry. It doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re who I want and nothing will change that.” I could tell he was being honest and I wanted nothing more than to let it be. “Let’s just take this one day at a time. Melissa said there are some options that might help but she wants to talk to one of her colleagues first.” He kissed my temple and I closed my eyes.
The next morning I woke with Noah holding me tightly, still in his clothes from yesterday. I looked at his handsome face and I decided that there was some reason that fate brought us back together. The fact that I couldn’t give him a baby someday was still weighing heavily but if it really didn’t matter to him maybe with time it would heal me too.
“Morning gorgeous.” He smiled.
“Morning.” I chimed in.
“There’s my girl. Feeling better today?” His voice held concern.
“A little.” I tried to be reassuring. “I don’t know if I will ever be able to get past this completely but I just want to live in the present.”
“I’m glad. I promise it will all be worth it in the end.” He kissed my lips lightly. “We should pack up and head downstairs. If we don’t leave in an hour we are going to get stuck in a ton of traffic.”
I stood up and stretched. I picked out some comfortable clothes for the ride back and packed everything else in my suitcase. We headed downstairs hand in hand and greeted Joe and Melissa who were laughing and smiling at one another. Noah ran this thumb over my knuckles as we entered the kitchen.
“Good morning guys.” Joe said enthusiastically.
“Morning.” Noah and I said at the same time. We stood around and talked for a little while before heading back to the city. I hugged Melissa and thanked her again. She said she would make me an appointment some time next week to finish her exam.
The ride back was quiet and neither of us talked much but it wasn’t uncomfortable silence. I was deep in thought when Noah said something that I didn’t quite catch.
“Jules did you hear what I said?”
“Huh. Sorry, I was daydreaming.” I joked.
“I asked if you were okay staying at my place tonight. This weekend was emotional for both of us and I just want to hold you close.”
“Yeah that’s fine. I have work tomorrow anyway.” He smiled brightly and held my hand a little tighter.
We pulled into the parking garage and headed up to the condo. I put my bag in the bedroom and headed to the kitchen to make us something to eat. We cleaned up and spent the rest of the day snuggled in bed watching trash TV and eating junk. It was definitely what I needed after yesterday. I drifted off sometime after eleven only to wake up a little after one. I headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water when I saw Noah’s phone was going off, it was a text. I decided not to be nosy since it was probably just Jackson but then it went off again. I peeked at the screen.
Carrie: Noah I really need to talk to you. I know you said we could meet on Wednesday but I really need to talk to you before then. Please call me in the morning.
I wondered what she needed to talk to him about and why he didn’t mention it earlier. I headed back to bed and tossed and turned the rest of the night. Noah got up at his normal six in the morning but since I didn’t sleep well I opted to stay in bed. He came back a little while later from his run and I heard him in the shower. I vaguely remember him kissing my forehead before leaving for work. I woke up a little after nine. I showered and dressed in a pair of jeans and a chunky soft sweater. I fired up my laptop and checked my emails before heading to school. There was one from Chase. There were no words just an attachment. I clicked on it. It was a picture of Noah and Carrie dated this morning. They were embracing in what looked like more than a friendly greeting. My stomach turned. I wondered what was so important that she was sending him messages at one in the morning and meeting him this morning. I thought I was more secure in our relationship than this. I picked up my phone to call Chase and noticed a couple texts from Noah.
Good morning have a great day!
Hey, let’s me for dinner tonight @ Lola’s say 6
Something just felt off. I scrolled through my contacts until I got to Chase and hit send.
“Hey Jules.” He answered on the first ring.
“Hey Chase.”
“I’m assuming you got my email. Listen I don’t want to meddle in your business or anything but it just seemed really suspicious. He seemed annoyed at first but then his whole demeanor changed. I just don’t want to see you hurt again.”
“I know, thanks Chase. So are you staying in the city still or are you headed home?”
“I haven’t made up my mind yet but I think I might head home for a couple weeks and figure it out. I’ll let you know.”
“’Kay.” I said and then there was an awkward silence.
“I love you Jules.”
“I know Chase. Still doesn’t change anything.” I said flatly.
“I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye Jules.”
“Bye Chase.” I hung up the phone and part of me wanted to just go home and go back to bed. I wanted a redo. I decided to go to the library at school to do some research. I packed up my things and headed down to the parking garage. I climbed into my car and stared at myself in the mirror. I had a sinking feeling that something was wrong. I pulled into school and went to check my mail. There was a letter from Dean Chavez saying that there was no longer and issue since Professor Mitchell had resigned and passed a polygraph. Well at least one thing is going right. Thankfully it was the last week of classes until finals and then I was done. I was heading out to meet Noah when my phone rang.
“Hey baby.” Noah said.
“Hey, I was just getting ready to leave.”
“Can we reschedule? Something imperative just came up and I have to deal with it. I’m really sorry. I’ll try and stop by later and see you in between sets okay?”
“Sure. I hope everything’s okay.”
“Everything’s going to be fine.” I don’t know who he was trying to convince.
“Alright, see you later then.” Then he was gone. No goodbye, no I love you, nothing.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Skyfall
We will face it together.
I woke up in a cold sweat remembering the conversation that Noah and I had earlier. It seemed like he had been avoiding me for the last couple days. Ellie said she didn’t know anything, I figured she would know if something was up since her and Jackson were officially an item now. I tried to write it off as it being work related but I wasn’t overly convinced. Finally this morning Noah showed up at my door first thing. I was slightly annoyed with him and his behavior.
“Hey.” He s
aid shyly.
“Hi.”
“Can I come in?” I opened the door the rest of the way so he could come in. I went into the kitchen and started making a pot of coffee. He followed me and took a seat at the table.
“Sorry about this week. I was trying to work through some stuff.”
“And shutting me out.” I spat.
“Listen Jules, we have to talk about something. It’s big. But I want you to listen to everything I have to say before you start in okay?” I nodded.
“It’s about Carrie.” He paused watching for my reaction. I remained looking at him intently. “She’s pregnant.” I was not prepared for that! It felt as if someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart, crushing it. He called my name and tried to take a step toward me but I held my hand up telling him to stay where he was. I felt my world crumble as Noah finished talking. “We will face this together.” I knew what I needed to do; it was as much for him as it was for me.
“Are you fucking kidding me Noah! You expect us to face this together? You got the girl you were supposed to marry pregnant and you expect us to face this together? Have you lost your fucking mind?!”
“Jules.” He cried reaching for me again, I stepped back.
“I’m not mad at you Noah. I’m happy that you will get the chance to be a father. It’s what you wanted and since it wasn’t in the cards for me to give that to you I’m glad. You know I’m not a bitter person, I’m not Carrie’s biggest fan but I wish you both the best.” I felt the tears brim over and fall onto my cheeks. He reached out and I didn’t fight him this time. I found solace in his touch.
“I love you Jules. You’re the one I want to be with. Do you have any idea what this has been like? I thought we could do this together.” He wrapped me tighter in his arms.
Second Chance Romance Page 10